HBP Chapter Ten

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

*Uh-oh. Settle in for the premiere episode of The Days of Our Dark Lord’s Lives.

*Ron can’t use the HBP book with Harry because he’d have to get Harry to keep reading out the instructions to him and that would look suspicious. Err…yeah, that’s it. Because it’s not like Harry could write stuff like “stir 7 times clockwise, once counter-clockwise” without being noticed. Or use magic to a) make the handwriting legible (you know that spell must exist) or b) copy the words from the book to Ron’s book in different handwriting (you know that spell exists too). Making Harry appear to be a gifted student requires a Trio team effort.

*As much as I know Hermione’s own refusal to read the book is just a convenient way of getting on with it, I can actually buy that she’s somehow getting something out of proving she can make a better Potion with worse instructions, like that’s part of the challenge. Granted this theory falls down when Hermione’s never shown to even be tempted by the Prince’s notes.

*If the Ravenclaws or Slytherins caught wind of them they’d every one of them have those notes copied into their own book by the end of the week and then pass them down to their housemates. But really, power like this ought to be kept in the hands of the kind of people born to hold the power.

*Right on schedule, after a few weeks of consistent, good, loyal service from the Prince Harry begins to vaguely wonder if this kid has a name.

*Trelawney wanders by a hidden Harry with her fortune telling cards—I forgot this moment was so early in the book. We get an ill omen and violence, and a dark young man who dislikes the questioner. Now that I see this scene in context again the dark young man is totally and completely Harry. (And I think the theories that he’s Snape are really pushing it no matter how young Snape is compared to Dumbledore or Trelawney.)

*Trelawney reeks of cooking sherry by the way. She’s drunk! It’s funny!

*One can’t really blame her for drinking, though. We get this constant stream of information telling us she and the whole idea of prophesizing is a fraud, yet this year she seems completely plugged into the future, enough so that the cards practically point at Harry next to her. Is it just that it’s Harry, and thus the whole universe is constantly buzzing about him?

*Dumbledore jokes about Harry getting detention. Harry almost approaches something like regret, but Dumbledore then sees Dumbledore isn’t stern at all, because he’s actually, as usual, using the detention to make fun of and undermine Snape. That’s how you know Dumbledore is a manipulative bastard who plays Harry like a fiddle cool grown-up who’s down with the kids!

*Dumbledore takes Harry’s hand, they lift their robes and skip from the firm foundation of fact into the murky marshes of memory with that flighty temptress, alliteration, sprinkling fairy dust in their wake.

*Actually, given that the Pensieve actually shows us what happened they are really going from the firm foundation of fact to the firm foundation of flashback, but whatever.

*Dumbledore speaks of the prophecy as casually as if Harry had asked him about the next day’s weather and not, you know, the most important thing in the history of the world ever because it’s about Harry Potter!

*Strangely, at this point I suddenly wonder if it will occur to Harry, now that he’s with the Headmaster, to let him know that the entire sixth year Potions textbook that his students are learning from is full of wrong instructions. But why would that be relevant to Dumbledore?

*Harry’s a little worried about the Pensieve. The last time he looked into one he saw something he didn’t like. Damn that Snape, leaving out his humiliating memories for Harry to stick his nose into!

*DD jokes about Harry actually entering the Pensieve with permission for once. He may be referring to Harry’s first accidental dip in GoF, but knowing DD it’s easy to think he’s joking about that funny time when Harry totally humiliated Snape. How many chapters till that Avada Kedavra?

*Dumbledore again puts off telling the story of his shriveled hand, which we never really get in full. “The ring did it,” doesn’t count.

*Remind me to post my evidence that Little Hangleton is really Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, which I believe is in Wales.

*Ogden is wearing the mis-matched clothes so often worn by wizards when Rowling remembers they’re not supposed to be able to figure out Muggle clothes inexperienced wizards who try to blend in with Muggles.

*If you thought Bob Ogden lucked out on being a minor adult character in the WW by getting a dignified name, he’s also got Mr. Magoo glasses and is wearing a bathing suit and a frock coat. It’s like he’s paying with his appearance for not being named Nickleby Skittlepuss.

*Harry sees a handsome manor house—uh-oh, there must be evil afoot. (Sorry I’ve been trapped in a lot of “How evil Tom Riddle the Muggle misused the crazy witch who held his captive by being rich—just like Lucius Malfoy!” arguments lately.)

*Harry wonders himself why Ogden appears to be approaching the village from such a distance. Harry asking a question a logical reader is also asking is like having your dog suddenly sit up and talk.

*Harry and Dumbledore follow the dueling banjo music to the House of Gaunt, which looks a lot like the House of Black in that it’s rotting from the inside out. Get it? As opposed to the lively chaos of the Weasleys.

*There is a dead snake on the door, proving the Gaunts haven’t completely let the place go.

*Morphin Gaunt makes his appearance by jumping out of a tree. (Women who are pregnant or nursing should not take Morphin. Ask your doctor of Morphin is right for you.) Sorry, that’s totally mike_smith’s joke but it’s true, Morphin does sound like some kind of prescription medication.)

*The narrator helpfully explains that while one might think his multiple birth defects would be comical, they actually aren’t. Thanks, narrator. I’ll save my jokes for the boy with spina bifida down the road.

*Fandom has had lots of discussions on whether Dumbledore is a Parseltongue due to this scene, but I think his “Harry, you understand him, I’m sure?” seems to indicate Dumbledore definitely isn’t one and is just validating that Harry understands the actual words in the scene, if he can’t.

*Marvolo looks like an ancient monkey, much like Slytherin. Why do I not imagine Gryffindor heirs in similar circumstances would still look good in a lion-ish way.

*People also want Merope to be the person who does magic late in life under stress but, err, she’s clearly not a Squib. She’s just a screw up—it’s that Neville lack of confidence.

*You know, after a few pages of the Charming Gaunts I’m beginning to think they may represent the logical, horrible conclusion of Slytherin’s exclusive policies. Any guesses on what the natural conclusion to any of the other founder’s ideas would look like? Just kidding. I know only Slytherins produce this sort of thing. It’s already starting in this generation, after all. Draco Malfoy likes a girl with a pug face while Harry has a far healthier fixation on a girl who looks like his mother.

*Morfin gave a Muggle hives, apparently, which is against the law. But I don’t understand. According to Morvolo the Muggle wasn’t being taught a lesson. Maybe he was pudgy or something and deserved the hives. Or maybe he was in the middle of exams and needed a distraction from studying.

*The Muggle’s face has been wiped clean, anyway. Which is more than we can say for Marietta.

*Tom Sr. and Cecelia go by proving they’re evil by saying, “What an eyesore, why doesn’t your father have that cleared away?” Though given Cecelia doesn’t know there’s people living in the house, which Harry himself has described as a hovel, I don’t see that what she says is a big deal.

*The real problem is everything in the valley on the other side belonging to Tom’s father. No wonder he doesn’t do the right thing and love poor Merope when the Potion wears off. It’s just because she’s ugly on the outside, while on the inside she’s a gentle stalker who only wants love. Who does that Muggle think he is, having an equally rich girlfriend? Classist.

*Tom Riddle has got to be the unluckiest Muggle in the world. He’s handsome and he lives near the Gaunts. Well, if his family weren’t such jerks as to own half the valley, it wouldn’t have happened.

*And he is handsome, btw. Harry notices that right away. Not as handsome as his son, apparently, but he’s very handsome. Cecelia could have two heads for all we know, but Tom Riddle’s looking good!

*Harry’s Victim Detector goes wild at the sight of Merope. He not only notes that she has a name, he sort of remembers it!!

*Fifteen minutes after this scene Morphin and Marvolo are carted off by the Ministry, both having records of previous Muggle attacks. And what do we learn from this? That the Gaunts were not personal friends of Arthur Weasley.

*Harry amazes Dumbledore again by remembering Marvolo is the middle name of the guy who’s been trying to kill him for years. Well done, Harry!

*Dumbledore explains that lack of sense and a liking for grandeur is what squandered the Gaunt family fortune. So they’re not Weasley poor. They’re the bad kind of poor.

*Dumbledore explains that once Merope was free of her own tormenters, she was able to start doing some tormenting herself. However, if you squint and stand on your head you can make the moral of the story turn out to be that some men are so shallow that don’t love a girl who isn’t pretty and rich, even when she’s been so kind as to repeatedly drug him and they have nothing in common.

*ETA: Because I totally forgot the Mayella Ewell comment I was planning, little known bit of Wizarding History shows an Atticus Filch, Squib, defending Tom Riddle's abandonment of his child on the grounds that his only crime was feeling sorry for a white woman Pureblood.

*Sir, Harry asks, is it important to know this about Voldemort’s past? Important enough to spend a whole chapter on just this part of it? For the next book Harry, we’ll have to hope that it is. Sir, Harry then asks, isn’t it a big coincidence that while blood doesn’t matter at all, Voldemort somehow wound up just like the grandfather and uncle he never met? Yes, Harry. Just a coincidence.

*Dumbledore says Ron and Hermione have proved themselves trustworthy—to him, of course. I wouldn’t trust Hermione as far as I could throw her. But in Hogwarts the important thing is always your personal loyalty to the Cult of Headmaster.

*Dumbledore warns Harry they shouldn’t tell stuff to anyone else. Harry reminds Dumbledore that the three of them pretty much consider themselves above everyone else in the school and so would hardly be talking to anyone else.

*No, Harry, I won’t tell you about my hand. Aren’t you satisfied with the flashbacks you got? Do you want to be subjected to more back-story? Off to bed with you!





Designated Hero
It doesn’t get more designated or random than Harry being the only person with Super Half-Blood Prince Book Decoding Powers.

IITS
Seriously, why is Ron not taking advantage of Harry’s Teacher’s Edition textbook? Oh, iits.

Idiot World
Let’s think about the implications of this Half-Blood Prince storyline. Inheriting a textbook that once belonged to an intelligent teenager who scribbled notes in the margins is enough to get you mistaken for a Potions genius by an expert in the field. And in the 20 years since this teenager figured out that all these recipes are wrong, not a single other person has figured it out or changed the textbook.

Idiot Picture
Meanwhile, our current genius kid is not only unable to follow the previous genius’ logic on changing things, but continues to insist that it’s somehow wrong to use instructions that actually work.

Misdirected Answering
The entire Pensieve trip could have been told to us in a few paragraphs. But then we wouldn’t know about Bob Ogden: Magical Law Enforcement Dude!

Nut o’ Fun
Am I the only person who wonders what the last snakey did that made Morphin nail him to the door? I once read a fanfic where Draco had a stuffed snake when he was little called Soothie.

Final score: 6

Slytherin Liquid Count: Pensieve memory water, sherry.

Comments

[meganinhiding.livejournal.com]

It seems that at this point in the series Rowling felt like she had to make a public service announcement against inbreeding and had to come up with a particularly humilating scenario for Salazar's family. I wonder what Hogwarts books and curriculum were like under previous headmasters because JKR really makes Dumbledore and Hogwarts look really subpar from an educational standpoint.