GOF Chapter 18: The Weighing of the Wands

[oryx_leucoryx]

Oooh! Harry hates being the hero of Gryffindor now that Ron isn't talking to him! Hermione solves his dilemma by bringing him breakfast, so he can delay meeting the student body for a while. (Yes madderbrad, Hermione/Harry OTP, but only on Hermione's side.) Ah, at least Hermione believes him! (Not necessarily for the right reasons, though, because nothing really prevented Harry from placing his name in the goblet or arranging for it to be placed there. The hard part was arranging it for the Goblet to spout his name out.) But Ron - he is just jealous for the attention Harry is getting, that's it! Not because he thinks Harry selfishly went on an adventure without him, no, not at all. Hmm, I think there is much support for Harry/Ron here (and nice foreshadowing of Ron as the one Harry would miss the most). Hermione recognizes it, thus trying to do some damage control by claiming Ron doesn't really believe Harry entered of his own choice. (So far the trio shipping looks like: Ron->Hermione, Hermione->Harry, Harry->Ron. Which is why no pairings of 2 members of the trio in a mutual relationship looks like it could work.)

Hermione is practicing her Molly skills - nagging Harry into being sensible. He does listen, eventually, and writes to Sirius (3rd letter ever). Aww, Harry remembers to say he hopes Sirius and Buckbeak are OK. See, he can express thought of someone else once in a while. Why doesn't Hermione encourage Harry to talk to Dumbles? I suppose she already drank enough of his Kool-Aid to think that if there was anything Dumbles could do to help he'd already do it or something. I wish I could say she saw through Dumbles' game and realized he wasn't interested in Harry's survival, but her behavior in later books contradicts this.

The Hufflepuffs were usually on excellent terms with the Gryffindors - they didn't mind being ignored or thought of as duffers. Harry's Gryffindor thinking gets him believing the Hufflepuffs are bothered by their glory being stolen. No Harry, that's not what they are thinking. They are thinking you cheated, that's what bothers them. Had the rules said each school has 2 champions they'd have had no problem with you being the other one.

Now Hagrid wants the kids to take the skrewts for walkies. The beasts are now strong and hard to control, but Hagrid isn't supervising the class, he is just taking Harry aside for a private chat. BTW Hagrid believes Harry because Dumbledore does. Well, if Hagrid formed an unpopular opinion on his own we'd have had to suspect Harry has fallen into 'interesting creature' category. Oh and walking skrewts will certainly prepare the students for their OWLs next year.

Harry fails at Summoning Charms, just like Neville. (But apparently unlike Ron. Sometimes Ron does better than Harry at magic, but only when it doesn't matter to the plot and especially if the two of them are estranged so Harry doesn't have to worry about complimenting Ron.)

Harry notices how cute Cedric is. And how popular he had become with the girls. Is Harry just a bit jealous of Cedric or for Cedric? (Harry/Cedric OTP?)

It is now almost 2 weeks since Harry was chosen as champion - when the Potter stinks badges appear. BTW the message supporting Cedric is red, the message taunting Harry is green. So you'd know which House is associated with positive messages and which with negative ones. Draco is proud of his badges because with their morphing ability they are more advanced than Hermione's single-message SPEW ones. Draco/Hermione OTP! (Though since it is Harry's attention Draco seeks with the badges then it may indeed be Draco/Harry OTP.) Notice that almost all of Draco's more inventive ideas are inspired by Hermione? Badges, sending instructions to Rosmerta by charmed Galleon, smuggling poisoned mead into Hogwarts. Though using the cabinet was entirely his own.

Ron is standing with Dean and Seamus. Because he is a boy with normal social skills - when he doesn't get along with his best friend he has others to turn to. Ah, in typical style Draco managed to provoke Harry into hexing him. And he expected it, which is why he was ready to hex at the same time. Clashing hexes will appear again in this book, but will be different (because the wands involved will be 'brothers') and again in the finale of DH. What I don't understand is why does Harry's hex bounce to Goyle while Draco's bounce to Hermione. Had the spells clashed exactly head on, I'd expect each one to bounce on its caster. If they clashed at a slight angle, I could understand if Harry's spell had hit Hermione who was standing next to him, and Draco's had hit Goyle. But we can't have Harry hexing Hermione, even by accident, so Rowling shows us how she fails at physics once more. (In DH Tom's spell bounces exactly back at him while Harry's goes straight ahead and hits Tom too - that's a different variation of the same physics!fail. Harry should have disarmed himself. But that wouldn't look good, so it didn't happen.)

So, Hermione reacts to being (temporarily) facially disfigured in panic. This is a second time for her, after the Polyjuice mishap 2 years previously. She notes to herself that if she ever wants to hurt anyone badly she should go for the person's face.

Severus arrives and wants an explanation. Draco gives a truthful though very partial and one-sided explanation. Harry tries to add the missing details but it is Ron who forces Hermione to show her face to Severus. What a considerate way to treat his love. Meanwhile the Slytherin girls, while giggling, are making an effort to go unnoticed by Severus - their giggles are silent and they take care to remain behind his back. This tells me they know that their behavior wouldn't go down well with him if seen.

Severus' "I see no difference" has been interpreted many different ways by fans, but whatever he meant by it, the kids on both sides take it as an intentional insult and he does nothing to correct this impression. He has good reasons not to like Hermione's treatment of him over the years, but right here she was a bystander who became collateral damage, so that's most un-nice of him.

I'm not sure why Harry thinks it was lucky Severus couldn't hear what he and Ron called him. He knew they weren't complimenting him, and they ended up losing 50 points and serving detentions anyway. Harry is livid about the injustice done to him and Ron. Right, The-Boy-Who-Lived-To-Be-A-Champion should be allowed to yell and swear at his teacher. It's in the small print of the binding magical contract, I'm sure.

Note that neither Draco nor Harry gets punished for dueling. Because as Terri has shown under Dumbledore teachers are not allowed to punish students for rule-breaking the teacher did not witness hirself, unless the student confesses. Well, one can argue that in this case Harry did admit to hexing Draco. So Harry would be punished in any case. But the way it is presented, it seems that had Harry and Ron joined the class quietly neither would have been punished.

Poor Harry! Even this shared experience doesn't return Ron to him! Most definitely Harry/Ron, from Harry's side. Meanwhile Harry fantasizes of Cruciating Severus. Well, this degree of wanting revenge is certainly the evidence of how full of love he is. Dumbles is right, Harry was never-ever tempted by the Dark Arts, no way!

They were supposed to brew antidotes (to which poison? or are these general purpose, broad target antidotes, while the more specific ones are NEWTs level?), and Severus was going to poison one of them to see if hir antidote worked. He was going to randomly select Harry for this purpose, because those are the rules of this universe. And Harry was going to waste his antidote on some revenge fantasy. Lots of sense he has. Fortunately he is saved by Colin. Severus is not letting go of Harry easily, but eventually surrenders to the words of Bagman, as delivered by Colin. So whom did he poison?

Fleur has the attention of both Cedric and the photographer. But not Viktor. Maybe coming from Bulgaria he built up resistance to Veela charms? Or perhaps only a quarter-Veela wasn't enough for him? Or was he already head-over-heels in love with Hermione?

Turns out this wasn't just a photo-op, there's a wand-weighing ceremony coming too. But before that Harry has to endure his first interview with Rita Skeeter. In a broom cupboard. In the dark. Where Rita pushes him on a box. Hints of child-rape?

I wonder whose intelligence is operating the Quick Quotes Quill - Rita's or something spelled into it by its manufacturer. If Rita really is 43 then she was 2 or 3 years ahead of Lucius at Hogwarts, maybe around Molly and Arthur's age. Also Bellatrix's age. She probably knows from way back then how to get at these people if she wants to.

Dumbles shows up and stops the rape-by-quill. Aww, Rita wants to hear Dumbles' reaction to a piece in which she was nasty to him. She called him an obsolete dingbat. I wonder over what. Which of his ideas are now considered old-fashioned? Aren't we supposed to think Albus was ahead of his day in his pseudo-egalitarianism? Are the 'many wizards in the street' whom Rita considers her audience more exclusivist or more egalitarian than Albus?

Ollivander will check that the champions' wands are in good working order. Because a school champion might fail to notice hir wand not answering correctly. I find it a bit odd, but never mind. Of course Ollivander can only test that the wand is performing spells, he can't test the degree of mastery the champion has over hir wand. But since the whole mastery business is something Ollivander only learned in preparation for his encounter with Harry in DH (or a convenient lie he made up) he doesn't care about it now.

Wands have personalities. Which sort of match those of their owners. The wizarding world should employ wand-makers as Seers.

Fleur's wand is inflexible and temperamental. Cedric's is pleasantly springy. Viktor's is thick and rigid. Harry's was described in PS as 'nice and supple'. (And Harry is so supple Twinkly can bend and shape him whichever way.) Ollivander is so objective he likes wands he made himself more than those made by others.

Thanks to sistermagpie for the Freudian symbolism of the spells used to test respective wands, foreshadowing all the wand humor of DH. Fleur's wand, appropriately feminine in its shortness relative to the rest, produces flowers. Cedric's wand (which he polished the previous night!) only produces smoke rings, foreshadowing Cedric's death and appearance as shade (no grandchildren to hear of his victory over Harry, sigh), while Viktor's thicker wand lets out a blast like a gun. It also produces birds, though these aren't set to attack anyone. (Did Hermione learn this spell from Viktor?) Harry has yet to start polishing his wand in any frequency. That's why the spell Ollivander chooses for this wand is more reminiscent of urination than ejaculation, according to sistermagpie.

Of course the purpose of the whole ceremony is a page-long trip down memory lane in which Harry reminds us his wand is the brother of Tom's. (The longest wand of a human wizard as far as we know - and yes, Tom was human when he got the wand.)

The ceremony is followed by the promised photo-op. Wizards have no magical solution to getting a group photo of people of different heights. May I suggest a magical equivalent of Photoshop?

Hermione wasn't at dinner, and Harry assumes she was still getting her teeth fixed. The way she described it later on I doubt it took as long as that. Maybe she was spending time at the hospital wing accompanying Ron - the most likely to have been randomly selected for poisoning once Harry was unavailable. (And not very likely to have been capable of producing an antidote that worked.)

Sirius' reply arrived by owl - he wants to set up a meeting for firecalling because his info is top-secret. We know Sirius is now living practically next door. So why does it take him almost 2 weeks to reply, and why does he set the meeting for over a week ahead, only 2 days before the first task? Perhaps that's how long it took him to find a house he could make sure to be empty on that night.

Comments

[oryx_leucoryx]

Well, addressing this would require the painful experience of either (or both) of us rereading DH, which is a bit much. But I recall Tom visibly comparing the length of his original wand with the one he took from Lucius. I recall when Hermione denied the existence of the Elder Wand she said some wizards said theirs was bigger than others'. Of course Harry/Draco shippers like to point out how friendly Draco's wand felt in Harry's hand, and I'm not sure if they are being serious or funny.

[danajsparks.livejournal.com]

The sexual innuendo is funny, but the fact that Draco's wand had such an affinity for Harry is srs bsns.

[madderbrad.livejournal.com]

I think the 'sexual innuendo' is there only if you go looking for it ... and if you're prepared to manufacture it as required.

I mean, I found the two quotes that Oryx mentioned - my post is below - and sure, the second one is mildly funny I guess. But only if you start out with the assumption "wands equals penises". Some people/fans seem to see penises everywhere, I personally don't. It's the same as the 'slash glasses' that some wear. Or those who are looking for signs of Harry's awesome love for Ginny Weasley on every page.

And I do think that if Rowling had *wanted* to have low-grade phallic humour she would have made it much more obvious. We're talking about the author of the chest monster, after all. Subtlety was not her style/talent.

the fact that Draco's wand had such an affinity for Harry is srs bsns.

Meh, that's only because Harry 'defeated' Draco in acquiring the wand.

He used Hermione's wand just as ably as he did Draco's, and that was *without* 'defeating' Hermione in any way. Therefore, ergo, Harry was much more sympatico with Hermione than with Draco, evah. Harry/Hermione OTP!!! *nods*

[karentheunicorn.livejournal.com]

Some people/fans seem to see penises everywhere, I personally don't.

Um, it almost seems like you're implying that everyone else is a sexual deviant and you're a vestal virgin.

How the hell is dick humor more low-grade than wishing for divorce and/or adultry?

Considering Ron and Hermione are married, for Harry and Hermione to have a relationship of 'true love-real love', they either have to divorce or they have to committe adultry.

A joke about penis seems almost innocent compaired to wishing for divorce/adultry doesn't it?

[danajsparks.livejournal.com]

Sorry, I'll rephrase my comment a bit: the possible sexual innuendo when Draco's wand works for Harry is funny. I have no idea if JKR actually intended for it to be there when she wrote that scene.

I mean, who knows if she intended for there to be sexual innuendo in any of the instances where she wrote about wands. However, I'm fairly certain that she did intentionally include some sexual innuendo (http://members.madasafish.com/~cj_whitehound/Fanfic/Britrefs.htm#racy_jokes) in the books, such as the humor about Aberforth and his goats, so I think it's definitely within the realm of possibility that at least some of the wand humor is there on purpose.

Wand=Penis is a very easy jump to make and really doesn't require much subtlety. Wands are often seen as phallic symbols, even beyond the Harry Potter books. Contemporary Wiccans, for instance, write that the wand represents male creative energy.

Furthermore, phallic symbols were quite prevalent in ancient cultures. Since JKR borrowed so heavily from myths and legends in her storytelling, it's not at all surprising if phallic imagery appears in her books, even if it's unintentional.

[madderbrad.livejournal.com]

That's an interesting link, although the only real substantial sexual innuendo of Rowling's is, indeed, the thing about Aberforth and the goats IMO. But you're certainly right about that one, which doesn't make Rowling the complete innocent in such matters that I was assuming her to be.

You've reminded me that Rowling was quizzed about Abertforth and his goats; here it is here (http://www.the-leaky-cauldron.org/2007/10/20/j-k-rowling-at-carnegie-hall-reveals-dumbledore-is-gay-neville-marries-hannah-abbott-and-scores-more):

Q: In the Goblet of Fire Dumbledore said his brother was prosecuted for practicing inappropriate charms [JKR buries her head, to laughter] on a goat; what were the inappropriate charms he was practicing on that goat?

JKR: How old are you?

Eight.

JKR: I think that he was trying to make a goat that was easy to keep clean [laughter], curly horns. That's a joke that works on a couple of levels. I really like Aberforth and his goats. But you know Aberforth having this strange fondness for goats if you've read book seven, came in really useful to Harry, later on, because a goat, a stag, you know. If you're a stupid Death Eater, what's the difference. So, that is my answer to YOU.

Yes, so it seems clear that Rowling intended that bit of sexual innuendo. But the wand stuff? Isn't in that link you supplied, and I don't thing it's in the books, unless the reader comes along with the association already set in his mind.

Wands are often seen as phallic symbols, even beyond the Harry Potter books. Contemporary Wiccans, for instance, write that the wand represents male creative energy.

And maybe that would be why some readers have that imagery all set up. But I think others just have their minds in the gutter. :-) And the Wiccan enthusiasts are, strictly speaking, wrong to bring their Wiccan expectations into a HP book; there's no link to Wiccans in the series.

Like I've said elsewhere here, some fans are determined to find anything, the slightest hint, the most spurious suggestion, the most casual of words, in the books on which they can hang their favoured theories. It gets my goat :-) sometimes.

[danajsparks.livejournal.com]

Wiccan enthusiasts are, strictly speaking, wrong to bring their Wiccan expectations into a HP book; there's no link to Wiccans in the series.

Well, my point was that there is a larger cultural context, both historical and contemporary, in which wands are phallic symbols. I meant for Wicca to just be an example where this is the case. Tarot is another example. And there's a much larger cultural context beyond that where long cylindrical objects that are tapered at one end are meant to represent the penis. Phallic symbols have been around for at least 28 thousand years and were widespread and prominent in many ancient cultures. There's nothing new or deviant about them.

[danajsparks.livejournal.com]

Also, while the specific link I gave didn't mention wands, there are plenty of literary critics (http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=harry+potter+wand+phallic&qscrl=1#q=harry+potter+wand+phallic&qscrl=1&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbo=u&tbs=bks:1&source=og&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wp&fp=7df3c6326b30324c) who interpret the wands in Harry Potter as phallic symbols.

[madderbrad.livejournal.com]

M'eh, they're all trying too hard to hook up external imagery with Rowling's words. Bringing in their outside baggage and trying to shoehorn it into the HP series. I'm not impressed.

I mean .. I looked at the first four links (thank you). The first two it's just a single-word adjective thrown in with absolutely no support whatsoever; like I said, a critic who's trying to impress by inserting this external symbology. The third wouldn't load for me. The fourth actually makes a half-hearted attempt to justify the phallic imposition; the 'phallic imagery of the two wands is inescapable' in the scene of Voldemort's resurrection, because, you see, Harry is 'emasculated' when his wand is taken from him, but when it's returned he can block the power of Voldemort.

What a load of rubbish. Harry's 'emasculated' because his MAGICAL WEAPON is taken from him. It would be exactly the same if wizards used magical dustbins to channel their magic.

Nah, sorry Danny, I don't buy it. Rowling threw in wands because that's one of the prevailing images of popular myth. But she didn't try to employ the 'phallic imagery' of wands. Not like she embedded the risque innuendo about Aberforth and his goat(s). No, the phallic stuff is just a case of people coming into the series with their own notions and trying to hang that hat on the word 'wand'. Hurrumph.

[karentheunicorn.livejournal.com]

Good heavens, are we still stuck on penis, I'm unable to read the messages for about 2 days and...come back to the pretence of JKR did she or didn't she mean penis(bangs head)

Look, It doesn't really fricking matter if Rowling meant to put the humor in there. She is an adult, she might not have thought of it at the time of writing and who bloody well cares even if she is having a giggle over it now? She was writing about wands, but I'm sure her being an adult, if she read it now she might say OMG, what the hell was I thinking writing that sentance that way!

Hell, one might have to ask, why is it funny when people fall down? There are whole TV shows dedicated to watching family video's of people falling down and dads getting hit in the crotch by their kids.

Why is that crap so funny. Explain that to me?

JKR was writing about wands but for some reason..OPPS...people are reading the sentance and giggling about it.

Rowling was writing about wands but the reason the whole damn thing is funny is because a person CAN read it and giggle, Oh this looks like something else or sounds like something else.

To me it's 10 times more funny that she did not mean it. It's the accidental joke and why drunk people falling down is so funny. - It isn't meant to be a penis but it reads like one, the unexpected laugh. Who gives a flying crap if she did or didn't mean it?

It doesn't always have anything to do with a persons mind being in the gutter so much as it's the humor in OMG, Harry fell down. (giggles)

[majorjune.livejournal.com]

And maybe that would be why some readers have that imagery all set up. But I think others just have their minds in the gutter.

(To the tune of Battle Hymn of the Republic)

Freud's mystic world of meaning needn't have us mystified
It's really very simple what the psyche tries to hide:
A thing is a phallic symbol if it's longer than it's wide
As the id goes marching on.

Glory glory psychotherapy
Glory glory sexuality
Glory glory now we can be free
As the id goes marching on.

http://www.stlyrics.com/songs/s/safkamelanie5330/psychotherapy223116.html

[madderbrad.livejournal.com]

Well, addressing this would require the painful experience of either (or both) of us rereading DH, which is a bit much.

True. You remind me of an on-line friend who, at the peak of our critical analysis of DH resolved to re-read DH ... but she wasn't able to do it in the end. And I don't blame her. Or us.

Thanks for your recollection of those two scenes; I did a quick search and found them:

"Your wand, Lucius. I require your wand."

"I …"

Malfoy glanced sideways at his wife. She was staring straight ahead, quite as pale as he was, her long blonde hair hanging down her back, but beneath the table her slim fingers closed briefly on his wrist. At her touch, Malfoy put his hand into his robes, withdrew a wand, and passed it along to Voldemort, who held it up in front of his red eyes, examining it closely.

"What is it?"

"Elm, my Lord," whispered Malfoy.

"And the core?"

"Dragon – dragon heartstring."

"Good," said Voldemort. He drew out his wand and compared the lengths. Lucius Malfoy made an involuntary movement; for a fraction of a second, it seemed he expected to receive Voldemort’s wand in exchange for his own. The gesture was not missed by Voldemort, whose eyes widened maliciously.

"Give you my wand, Lucius? My wand?"

Some of the throng sniggered.

and

"The Deathstick, the Wand of Destiny, they crop up under different names through the centuries, usually in the possession of some Dark wizard who’s boasting about them. Professor Binns mentioned some of them, but -- oh it's all nonsense. Wands are only as powerful as the wizards who use them. Some wizards just like to boast that theirs are bigger and better than other people's"

Meh. I can't see any 'wand humour' in either of those two quotes. I think some people just go looking for things and are predisposed to find them upon the slightest pretext - phallic humour, homosexuality, Ginny Weasley soulmate apptitude ... :-)

[oryx_leucoryx]

The most significant part in the Tom/Lucius situation is He drew out his wand and compared the lengths. Followed by everyone sniggering at the suggestion that Lucius was expecting mutuality. (Why would Tom care about length in a wand's performance?)

[for-diddled.livejournal.com]

Also, I think the whole "Voldemort takes Lucius' wand" thing is clearly meant to be seen as emasculating, both by the readers and by the DEs. So if taking wand = emasculation, it's not really much a jump to wand = penis.

[madderbrad.livejournal.com]

Why would Tom care about length in a wand's performance?

No idea. Why does anyone in the series remark on a wand's length? When we're never ever given a hint that the obvious relationships - size/length being proportional to performance - holds true? Yet length is a defining characteristic of wands in the series overall, if not of their power.

Note that he *asks* Malfoy about other attributes - the type of wood, the core - and then directly follows on to examine another of the usual attributes that's always mentioned about wands - the length. It's a natural progression that's consistent with every other time someone, like Ollivander, has focused on a wand.

As to the sniggering - that was simply over Malfoy's expectation that he could use Voldemort's wand. Nothing to do with the direct comparison of wand lengths.