HBP Chapter Twenty

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

*Looking back, it’s pretty hilarious that Lord Voldemort’s request boils down to really really wanting to teach 7th grade. You’d expect it to be a demand for Harry to give up his soul to save some little Muggle girl or something.

*Hermione is friends with Ron again, the best part of being poisoned. Does it ever bother Harry that his great Trio friendship has to so often rely on near-death experiences to stay intact?

*Harry comes across either Crabbe or Goyle examining the tapestry of trolls while guarding the RoR (cue fics where one of them starts creating tapestries himself or reveals one of the trolls is an ancestor!). She "looks terrified" of the approaching sixth years—which is cool because of course really he’s going, "Potter’s gang—shit!"

*Ginny’s argued with Dean because he dared do a Harry impression that she is planning to do later on. It’s only funny when I do it, jerk. You’re not good enough friends with Harry to tease him. Only his Ideal Girl gets to do that! Stop trying to steal my thunder!

*Hermione hotly says that Harry getting hit didn’t look funny at all. Well, at least now we know what lies at the heart of Hermione and Ginny’s great friendship. They don’t just bond over guys, they met in the "Violence is only good when I say it is" club.

*Luna thinks Ron’s making fun of her by saying she gave good commentary. As if Luna doesn’t know Ron appreciates anyone saying anything against Zach Smith, the Evil Heart of Hogwarts.

*And Hermione makes yet another girl jealous. Guess that’s the price you pay for being best friends with the best people in school!

*Hermione, being in a good mood, writes the end of Harry’s essay for him, something she’d refused to do before because she knew he’d let Ron copy it. So to review, the only reason for Hermione to refuse to do Harry’s homework for him is because she wants to keep it from Ron. You can see why Hermione’s smirking in a superior way. Lavender wishes she was cool enough to have two boys let her do their homework for them.

*Harry finds Sybil with Dumbledore, complaining about Firenze. He hears her trip over her shawls on the way down the stairs. He does not chalk that up to her hilarious drinking problem, I guess because we haven’t gotten into the Slytherin part of the chapter yet.

*Dumbledore casually mentions how he’s made another one of his Dumbledore-ish-mistakes in not realizing how having two Divination teachers he’s personally protecting at the school would work out.

*Dumbledore tells Harry Sybil doesn’t know about the prophecy she made, putting Harry in the delightful position of knowing a huge secret about a pathetic teacher that she herself does not know. That’s not demeaning to Trelawney at all, so let’s move on.

*Harry says no, he hasn’t gotten the memory from Slughorn and Dumbledore guilt trips him because it really is important that he gets the memory the exact way that Dumbledore wants it gotten. It’s fun making Harry plumb the depths of his cunning. Dance little schoolboy! Dance for me!

*Dumbledore continues guilt-tripping Harry about how he told him how important the memory is. For some reason Harry, whom much of fandom considers to be completely rude and spoiled brat, does not tell Dumbledore that if it’s so important maybe he should just use his own best-wizard-of-all-time powers to get the memory instead of amusing himself making Harry do it whenever he’s got a minute between classes.

*It’s probably not a good sign that the moment when Harry feels an actual sense of shame is when I’m mentally snarking at Dumbledore for him. Probably because once again Dumbledore just seems to be demanding some pathetic show of personal loyalty. It’s not like this is the only way to get the memory, he’s just as usual wanting Harry to prove he’ll do what he says. You like me! You really like me!

*Maybe in the next book Harry and Draco can compare their experiences being shamed by a beloved authority figure.

*Dumbledore really starts piling it on thick when Harry apologizes, quietly daring to hope that Harry puts more thought into the project now that he’s remembered Dumbledore wants him to do that. Tell you what, Albus, I’ll get you that memory right after you get around to telling me what actually happened to your hand.

*Harry’s then EVEN MORE ashamed when Dumbledore OMG says he cares to hear his opinion on whether he’s right about Voldemort! He, like, totally values Harry’s opinion! God Dumbledore, enough already. Stick a fork in him, he’s done. You could tell him you thought Voldemort’s secret dream was to become the tooth fairy and he’d agree with your conclusions at this point, just to prove himself to you.

*Harry feels uncomfortable at Dumbledore’s description of how Voldemort feels about Hogwarts. Presumably because it was the first place he felt at home too and not because he’s more attached to it than he could ever be to any person…right?

*Slughorn and Voldemort were BFF, huh? I guess Tom Riddle knew the Good Slytherin when he saw him.

*Dumbledore, being all-knowing, was deeply disturbed at the idea of Tom teaching kids. Not that he told Dippet why he felt that way. Need to know basis, remember!

*Btw, Dumbledore’s all-knowingness does of course contain a certain blind spot. That blind spot’s name is…Señor Draco. (And it’s shaped like a sombrero.)

*There’s a big file in Dumbledore’s office of secrets he keeps from people for their own good: Dean’s father being a Wizard, Flitwick being adopted and part-goblin, Trelawney marked for death, Lord Voldemort’s true identity, some Hufflepuff second year dying of an incurable disease he doesn’t know about himself…

*Harry drops into the memory of the female version of Slughorn—a fat, ridiculous and vain woman who collects things and who’s got no business slobbering over young Tom Riddle. Is it a coincidence these two appear in the same book? The magpie-like can not be trusted!

*Of course she’s a bit worse than Slughorn in that she’s wearing make-up, the last resort of those not pretty on the inside.

*Hokey tells Hephzibah she looks lovely. "Nyuh-uh girlfriend," Harry thinks to himself with a snap. His bitchy tirade about her looks is cut off by the stunning appearance of Young Tom Riddle. His hair’s just a little longer (Harry having noted it before) and his cheeks a little hollowed but oh, it suits him! He’s more handsome than ever!!

*He’s also dressed simply in a dark, probably designer, suit perfectly cut…Oops! Forgot Wizards wear robes again!

*Hephzibah simpers all over Tom. Harry physically restrains himself from screaming, "Get your piggy little hands off him, you sow!"

*Hephzibah’s eyes are fastened on Voldemort’s handsome features, so she doesn’t see the flash of evil red in his eyes like Harry, who was lost in his eyes at the time.

*The cup apparently has powers all on its own. *Makes note*

*When Hephzibah looks into Voldemort’s face for the first time Harry sees her "foolish" smile falter. Harry is such a little bitch about this woman. I wonder why. Could you tell us, ever so handsome Tom?

*Dumbledore’s conclusions are totally validated when Harry draws the same ones after seeing the scene. As if showing someone this scene and telling them the woman was poisoned two days later wouldn’t make anyone say Tom did it even if he’d been innocent. Next show us a scene where Harry tells us how Draco’s up to something and must be stopped and then tell us Draco was eviscerated two days later and see what conclusions we draw.

*Harry suddenly feels sympathetic to SPEW, that thing Hermione harped on for two books straight and then inexplicably forgot, because Dumbledore says people were pre-disposed to suspect Hokey of the murder. He thinks this has something to do with her being "only a house-elf." Apparently Dumbledore hasn’t heard the cliché "the butler/maid did it."

*Btw, Harry’s sympathy towards SPEW does not lead to him to be uncomfortable with his own slave. Luckily.

*Isn’t it great the way Dumbledore always subtly and sadly points out the terrible justice system in the WW without ever having to defend his own part in it? Such a tragedy about Sirius. There was nothing I could do. I was too busy turning down three offers to be Minister for Magic and Head of the Wizengamot at the same time.

*Dumbledore says he’s got other reasons for thinking Voldemort wanted the cup…does he ever get to that either in this book?

*Harry goes into Voldemort’s memory where—gasp! Voldemort’s spoiling his looks! He’s not handsome anymore! Where has the pretteh gone??!!

*Luckily he’s still got a certain reptilian sensuality Harry can dig.

*I so wish Maya’s Draco was in this scene. He’d have blurted out, "No, you can not have a job here, because you’re eyes are red and disturbing. Please go away," by now.

*Harry understands that Dumbledore’s refusal to call Tom "Lord Voldemort" shows that he’s not allowing Tom to dictate the terms of their meeting. Like this is surprising after his scene with the Dursleys.

*Voldemort reminds us Dumbledore could totally be MoM if he wanted, and Dumbledore says he’d rather be a schoolteacher…for the same reason Voldemort wants to be. Comforting, yes?

*Dumbledore reminds Voldemort that he still knows nothing of love. Voldemort says nothing he’s seen proves that love is so powerful. Apparently he’s been reading the books and wondering why, if our heroes are so loving, the only way friends ever manage to make up after a fight is if one of them almost dies.

*Dumbledore says he’s glad Voldemort considers the DEs friends, as they seemed more like servants. Though to be fair, Gryffindors generally assume everyone else’s friends "seem like" something other than friends. Calling other peoples’ friendships that is like anthropomorphizing animals: the Slytherins appear to be chatting as friends do, but if you look closely Pansy is picking nits out of Draco’s hair while Crabbe rolls over and submissively urinates.

*Dumbledore says Voldemort can’t teach at Hogwarts because he doesn’t really want to. The Maya!Draco in my head says, "And because you have red eyes and that’s really disturbing!"

Slytherin Liquid Count: Pensieve Water, Dumbledore and Tom drink wine, Hephzibah and Voldemort drink together, Hephzibah drinks poisoned tea.

Hottie Factor: Tom Riddle, more handsome than ever!





Box Picture
And Shelly Winters as the fat woman!

Designated Hero
Sometimes when a boy likes a girl very much, it’s important for him to screw around with another girl to get experience. Similarly, if a boy is a hero whose greatest power is his love for others, it’s important that he gets some experience manipulating old guys.

IITS
Yes, as it happens I really do need the 16-year-old boy who couldn’t learn Occlumency to come up with a clever plan to wheedle a memory out of his teacher. No, I can’t do it myself. It says so right here in the script: Demonstrate Liquid Luck before final battle.

Informed Attributes
Harry didn’t want to disappoint Dumbledore, since after all the guy has been so good to him and never asks anything of him at all except this one little thing.

James Bond Exposition Rule
There should be some amendment to this rule when the super hero spends chapter after chapter dragging out his own revelation of the villain’s master plan.

Misdirected Answering
Is it really going to be important will it be that Voldemort wanted the DADA teacher job?

Final score: 6

Comments

[teratologist.livejournal.com]

Dumbledore says he’s glad Voldemort considers the DEs friends, as they seemed more like servants.

And this is considered a powerful indictment by the kid who spent the first part of the chapter getting his homework done by one of his BFFs.

[jollityfarm.livejournal.com]

Looking back, it’s pretty hilarious that Lord Voldemort’s request boils down to wanting to really really teach 7th grade.

It was probably someone here that said it, but I remember someone suggesting that he'd cursed the position not out of rage at being turned down, but so that these kids presumably being trained to fight against the forces of dark would have a vastly disrupted education and so wouldn't have the decent regular knowledge of the subject they might have done. Presumably, Voldemort's reason for wanting to teach would be to get them young, in the manner of Fenrir Greyback (minus the biting). We do rather expect more from our evil supervillains, though. Perhaps Dumbledore turned him down so as to inspire him to get a cloak to twirl and to practice his maniacal laughter. Otherwise it might have been better to have him where you could see him. Perhaps that's why Dumbledore chose Snape as a teacher - he wasn't falling for that "shouldn't hire someone if they're evil" trap again. If he's in the school, working for you, you can tell him what to do and (master manipulator) twist him round to your way of thinking - or give it a go, at least. But then, what a different story!

cue fics where one of them starts creating tapestries himself or reveals one of the trolls is an ancestor!

I'm quite fond of the idea of arts 'n' crafts Crabbe and Goyle, actually. They're not just great lunks - they have a sensitive side too! Plus, needlecrafts aren't just for women! Mind you, that'd probably be used in some kind of humourous "lulz at teh femmy boyz" sequence. I daresay the idea of Crabbe and Goyle being turned into little girls was probably meant to be hillarious in a "big hairy men in drag = comedy gold" way. Didn't really hit it for me.

Hermione hotly says that Harry getting hit didn’t look funny at all.

It's only funny when it's Ron, it seems. Or Zacharias Smith, of course.

As if Luna doesn’t know Ron appreciates anyone saying anything against Zach Smith, the Evil Heart of Hogwarts.

Ron will always enjoy Luna, in a sort of "thank crap it's not me" way. Mind you, he is mildly less condescending to her than some others (although Hermione is condescending to everyone, this is the very heart of her character). Perhaps they come to a subconscious understanding due to both being considered pathetic by the people they hang around with.

Dumbledore casually mentions how he’s made another one of his Dumbledore-ish-mistakes in not realizing how having two Divination teachers he’s personally protecting at the school would work out.

Well, no shit! One of the things that pisses me off about these books is that the "pathetic" ones seem to have no comprehension that they're considered pathetic, treated like shit and generally taken for a ride. This is one of my hopes about Professor Snape, that he's the guy that saw what a chump the popular crowd took him for and told them all where they could jump. But Professor Trelawney! Maybe it's because she's been there for such a long time, and she's got nowhere else. I wondered before why I could easily picture her being in an abusive relationship, but her experience at Hogwarts is similar to emotional abuse, I think.

[soldurios.livejournal.com]

Harry says no, he hasn’t gotten the memory from Slughorn and Dumbledore guilt trips him because it really is important that he gets the memory the exact way that Dumbledore wants it gotten. It’s fun making Harry plumb the depths of his cunning. Dance little schoolboy! Dance for me!

I have to wonder why Dumbledore didn't just make Snape get the memory from Slughorn. Snape seems to be the sort of person Slughorn quite liked. It was his book that netted Potter points at Potions, so it's only reasonable to assume that Severus impressed Slughorn when he went to school.

Also, Snape had been invited to the party Slughorn had earlier in the book.

It's not as though Dumbledore wasn't aware of Snape's ability to manipulate people, he was a supposed spy after all. And Snape had access to as many potions as needed in order to attain the memory.

Now, I can argue that Dumbledore wanted Harry to get it just so he could either make the little boy dance or to show Harry's mad skillz at getting through challenges and the like.

But this memory was highly important. Integral to the plot war. Why some old codger should treat it in such a way is beyond me.

[violaswamp.livejournal.com]

Looking back, it’s pretty hilarious that Lord Voldemort’s request boils down to really really wanting to teach 7th grade.

So very true. Next thing you know he'll be wanting to play the organ in church.

Does it ever bother Harry that his great Trio friendship has to so often rely on near-death experiences to stay intact?

That just proves the depth of their friendship. It's above shallow, silly things like actually enjoying each other's company.

Harry physically restrains himself from screaming, "Get your piggy little hands off him, you sow!"

HAHAHA. Harry could totally be a part of a really entertaining, exaggeratedly girly catfight.

elanor

[(Anonymous)]

*Does it ever bother Harry that his great Trio friendship has to so often rely on near-death experiences to stay intact?

Later Apparition lessons, Quidditch & Ron's poisoning (in this chronological order! & supposedly this order of importance too) are the factors, which made Harry forget about D's request.

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

gasp! Voldemort’s spoiling his looks! Where has the pretteh gone??!!

Not that there's any kind of connection between looks and character. His beauty decaying as his soul DIES is a total coincidence!

Looking back, it’s pretty hilarious that Lord Voldemort’s request boils down to wanting to really really teach 7th grade.

The sad thing is, it's unlikely he could be any worse than most of Dumbledore's choices. Give him a shot, JKR!

Harry suddenly feels sympathetic to SPEW, that thing Hermione harped on for two books straight and then inexplicably forgot

I love how he's 'rarely felt more' in sympathy, like usually he's only moderately interested in comparison to Hermione's fanaticism rather than completely indifferent.

The cup apparently has powers all on its own. *Makes note*

Nothing as sexy as the basilisk slaying sword, though, I presume. (And how much do I love that Slytherin's heir is the important and sexy Voldemort, lead character; whereas Hufflepuff's is of course a ridiculous fatty. That's what you get from being descended from chicks.)

Harry sees her "foolish" smile falter. Harry is such a little bitch about this woman. I wonder why. Could you tell us, ever so handsome Tom?

LOL. I don't think this is just the 'Harry filter' either, Dumbledore gets in on the act with his pitying condescension towards that 'poor, besotted woman' (love how the focus is of course on her behaviour, just like Bertha Jorkins; and of course the comparison between her lusting after a young guy and him planning to kill her for her treasures. I really don't know which is worse!)

Like this is surprising after his scene with the Dursleys.

God, I hate Dumbledore here, especially with his 'I'm glad you approve' to Voldie's complimenting him on being headmaster, in case we'd failed to realise for the millionth time how little Dumbledore gives a shit about the opinions of anyone but himself.
As well as the obnoxious 'ZOMG, it wuz THREE times I was offered MoM!' And of course, the 'touching' part where he wishes he could still reach out to Tom and show him the power of love punish and frighten Voldemort. It's so pathetic that the guy who's killed four people, framed two, and will grow up to attack babies is coming off more likeable.

Dumbledore casually mentions how he’s made another one of his Dumbledore-ish-mistakes in not realizing how having two Divination teachers he’s personally protecting at the school would work out.

But as he specifies, his staffing problems aren't important. Unless they involve Hagrid, in which case he must break his 'Omnipotent Observer of Mankind's Folly' act and intervene.

Dumbledore says he’s got other reasons for thinking Voldemort wanted the cup…does he ever get to that either in this book?

I love how mystified Harry is here, too 'But why would he want a Founder's treasure?' Well, gee, Dumbledore doesn't appear to be Gryffindor's heir, yet I don't see him handing off that flashy sword to the nearest Wizarding Museum. (Just kidding, we all know Wizards don't have museums not devoted to war or Quidditch.)

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

He, like, totally values Harry’s opinion! God Dumbledore, enough already. Stick a fork in him, he’s done.

No kidding. I love the rimjob he gives about Harry's 'considerable ingenuity'. Dude, he has one plan, get people drunk, which any 16 year old frat boy could come up with, and which Dumbledore had to show him first.

Ginny’s argued with Dean because he dared do a Harry impression that she is planning to do later on. It’s only funny when I do it, jerk.

It's like Dean's trying to be the life and soul of the team, here!
I love how the monster is 'drowsing', until of course, another guy peeing on Harry's territory wakes it up again. Out of sight, out of mind.
And I imagine Hermione totally guesses that Harry's being faux-casual about Ginny/Dean's arguing, not just because she's omnipotent, but because he says that Dean mocking him isn't serious enough for G/D to break up over.

Dumbledore says he’s glad Voldemort considers the DEs friends, as they seemed more like servants.

I love his proof - they came out in the snow and waited for him! Only a super-villain would expect such devotion from others, and only a minion could offer it. Whereas spending a year snapping at everyone around you, before dragging them on a wild-goose chase to rescue your godfather, risking their lives and causing serious injury without so much as a thank you is totally within the bounds of everyday friendship.

Isn’t it great the way Dumbledore always subtly and sadly points out the terrible justice system in the WW without ever having to defend his own part in it?

Thankfully, all the falsely accused people whose memories Dumbledore finds are dying, so he needn't go to any effort for them personally, but can shake his head woefully at the bias inherent in the system that lead to their convictions.

Presumably because it was the first place he felt at home too and not because he’s more attached to it than he could ever be to any person…right?

I do love the massive Tom/Harry parallels here, right down to Voldemort sitting in Harry's seat.
I wasn't sure if it was purposeful, but the reference to Voldie knowing more of Hogwart's secrets than most (what, like MWPP? Or the Twins? Or Harry and his shortcuts?) as well as the emphasis on how everyone fell for him because of his petty awards - Head Boy, Prefect (here read youngest Seeker and Triwizard Champion), good grades (or the best DADA grade in the school), the same award Harry and Ron have for Special Services to the school, great contacts lining up to help him at the MoM; like he's so privileged next to other orphans.

Apparently Dumbledore hasn’t heard the cliché "the butler/maid did it."

Plus, you know, she confessed and all. But no-one bothered finding out whether every single person who ever confessed to a crime was under a complex magic memory charm never heard of before or since.
Lazy frigging bureaucrats.
(I love how Dumbledore points out that 'just like Morfin' people were pre-disposed to suspect her, in this case because she's a house-elf. But obviously that doesn't apply in Morfin's case. It's like we're supposed to feel bad for Morfin's position in society, even though as a bigot, he's clearly The Man and every bad circumstance that happens to him must be his own fault.)

[sunnyskywalker]

I am really, really hoping that in the middle of a hopeless battle against DEs and/or Voldemort where some knowledge of advanced spells would be lifesaving in Book 7, it finally hits Harry that he should have done his damn homework.

[sunnyskywalker]

Give him a shot, JKR!

Now you've got me imagining Professor Voldemort, scary-but-cool to many, terrifying to a few, intrigue everywhere, shocks half the school when he tries to take over the world and even kills his former favorite student Lily Potter...

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Look, Harry can't help it if people want to do his homework for him! That's totally different than Voldemort. Somehow.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

The sad thing is, it's unlikely he could be any worse than most of Dumbledore's choices. Give him a shot, JKR!

Who's the most popular DADA teacher so far? That would be Voldemort's main man, Moody. Sure he was a psychotic murderer, but we learned loads!

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

LOL, I read a fic once years ago where he was teaching at Hogwarts, and naturally, the poor, slow-witted inhabitants were all suspicious. 'There's something...funny about this new Professor Voldemort.' 'Oh, honestly, Harry, you're always suspicious of DADA teachers!'

[baeraad.livejournal.com]

> Looking back, it’s pretty hilarious that Lord Voldemort’s request boils
> down to really really wanting to teach 7th grade.

That fiend! Is there no end to his heretical ambitions? =]

> Does it ever bother Harry that his great Trio friendship has to so often
> rely on near-death experiences to stay intact?

Hush, you. You wouldn't want to force poor JKR to do anything as unpleasant as resolve character disagreements by making the characters talk out their differences like sensible people, would you? ;)

> So to review, the only reason for Hermione to refuse to do Harry’s
> homework for him is because she wants to keep it from Ron.

I wish someone else hadn't come up with the term "thinking-brain dog" before I did. It describes Hermione's function perfectly. =] Harry doesn't have time to be smart, he has to be brave, which is much more important and special!

> Dumbledore tells Harry Sybil doesn’t know about the prophecy she made,
> putting Harry in the delightful position of knowing a huge secret about a
> pathetic teacher that she herself does not know.

A lot of Dumbledore's supposed benevolence and open-mindedness does seem to boil down to "we mustn't judge [name of stupid and pathetic person] too harshly; after all, not everyone can be perfect, like me."

> He’s also dressed simply in a dark, probably designer, suit perfectly cut
> Oops! Forgot Wizards wear robes again!

I'm divided here. On one hand, I liked the mode of dress in the movies, where fashion in the wizarding world seems to incorporate Muggle clothing from all over the last millenium, making wizards look very diverse and interesting - as opposed to the books, where it's usually explained that all wizards wear robes and that's that. So if a bit of diversity slips in, I shouldn't really complain... but it would be nice if it was remarked upon, instead of saying "oh, all wizards wear robes" and then show wizards not wearing robes without anyone considering it strange.

> Btw, Harry’s sympathy towards SPEW does not lead to him to be
> uncomfortable with his own slave. Luckily.

Well, it's not like Harry wants to have a slave. Of course not. He just had one forced upon him by circumstances. Just like pretty much everything else in his life.

Honestly. No one ever forces money and glory and eager women and magical toys on me. I mean, it's not even like I'd put up that much of a fight... ;)

> Isn’t it great the way Dumbledore always subtly and sadly points out the
> terrible justice system in the WW without ever having to defend his own
> part in it?

Rowling thinks like a journalist (well, as the ones who write the editorials for my local newspaper; they're the only ones I have much experience of). People who tries to change the world are suspect and corrupt and probably communists! It's much more morally high-standing to sit back and pass judgement on everyone!

> Calling other peoples’ friendships that is like anthropomorphizing
> animals: the Slytherins appear to be chatting as friends do, but if you
> look closely Pansy is picking nits out of Draco’s hair while Crabbe rolls
> over and submissively urinates.

May I just say how much I loved that one? :D

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

so that these kids presumably being trained to fight against the forces of dark would have a vastly disrupted education

It's so random that he cursed it for exactly a year, rather than say, cursing every student who takes it so the subject has to stop altogether, or just making it so every teacher who applies, dies. (Mind you, a lot of them have come to sticky ends. *crosses fingers for Hagrid the DADA teacher in Book Seven*) Random in a contrived for plot purposes kind of way.

I daresay the idea of Crabbe and Goyle being turned into little girls was probably meant to be hillarious in a "big hairy men in drag = comedy gold" way. Didn't really hit it for me.

Yeah, it's kind of a lot of effort (why little girls?) in the service of a pretty weak joke (Har! Crabbe and Goyle have to be GIRLS! Ew! This is like some sort of medieval punishment on par with the Iron Maiden! Imagine having a vagina, even for an hour! They're supposed to be macho, but now we can associate them with effeminacy, along with Snape and Draco!) especially since Draco's plotline is supposed to be serious.

[sarahtales.livejournal.com]

His eyes are red and disturbing! Dumbledore is patiently waiting for a different boy, a boy with clear green eyes like... Lily Evans will do... and perhaps the features of... James Potter, perhaps... Tip a few love potions into the Gryffindor students' cereal, sit back and watch the breeding of Dumbledore's Super Weapon begin!

*As if showing someone this scene and telling them the woman was poisoned two days later wouldn’t make anyone say Tom did it even if he’d been innocent. Next show us a scene where Harry tells us how Draco’s up to something and must be stopped and then tell us Draco was eviscerated two days later and see what conclusions we draw.

That Harry did it and showed little to no remorse afterwards, since he considered Draco pretty much deserved it and if he wavered for a moment his Ideal Girl totally set him straight? (ZOMG they are so right for each other!)
... Wait. Sister M, it's okay! The system works!

At least Draco's beloved authority figure seems to love him. After all, Dumbledore's not stepping in to kill Harry's designated victim Voldemort. Oh no. Even if he had Voldemort running scared at MoM, he's not going to actually harm him. Let Harry deal with it himself. Builds character! Run, Harry - run right at that danger! One, two, three - earn daddy's love!

His hair’s just a little longer (Harry having noted it before) and his cheeks a little hollowed but oh, it suits him! He’s more handsome than ever!!

While I read this a song played that went 'Hey baby, is that you? Wow your hair got so long! Yeah yeah, I love it, I really do' and I had to pause to laugh like a hyena. Oh, Goth Chic Voldemort, seriously, recover that lost beauty with all your power, the Chosen One will be helpless before you!

It hurts my heart that soon we will come to the end of handsome Tom.

Inspiring as ever, Sister M! Not that I'm inspired. No no. No. No. I'm writing my... original. Right now. Why do you ask? I'M NOT EVEN HERE.

[static-pixie.livejournal.com]

This would happen if these books were actually about something crazy like knowledge and hard work. As it is, they're about the triumph of a lot of luck over evil. Otherwise, Draco and Hermione would be heros.

[kaskait.livejournal.com]

Harry goes into Voldemort’s memory where—gasp! Voldemort’s spoiling his looks! He’s not handsome anymore! Where has the pretteh gone??!!
*Luckily he’s still got a certain reptilian sensuality Harry can dig.

Lord Voldemort's Request proved something I've been suspecting for many years.

Riddle is the "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha" of the Potterverse. The fact that Harry has some of his sexarific looks makes him a "Mini-Marsha".

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

Luna thinks Ron’s making fun of her by saying she gave good commentary.

Gotta enjoy how Luna’s suspicious of the cruel Ron, but cheerfully accepts Ginny and Harry’s patronising half-hearted efforts as 100% on the level and motivated by altruism.

Harry, who much of fandom considers to be completely rude and spoiled brat…

Hey, wait a second! June? How did you infiltrate this comm? ;)

Dumbledore can’t get the memory, obviously. He’s not a sexy half-blood with the goddess Lily’s eyes.
And obviously the memory has to be taken from Slughorn willingly (give or take a little impaired consent) since neither Dumbledore nor Harry are capable of forcing someone to do something they don't want to.

Voldemort reminds us Dumbledore could totally be MoM if he wanted

I could have been President, but I’m too real.

They don’t just bond over guys, they met in the "Violence is only good when I say it is" club.

Or for short, Gryffindor House.

You can see why Hermione’s smirking in a superior way.

Her blushing at Ron's 'I love you' (for doing my work for me) is as pathetic as anything Lavender does in this storyline, really. Lavender makes out with boys to earn their affection (I'm forced to conclude this, since obviously being a woman in the Potterverse means she dreams only of marriage and babies and has no sexual desires of her own.); whereas Hermione just has to do favours for them for them to like her. Romantic!

He’s also dressed simply in a dark, probably designer, suit perfectly cut…Oops! Forgot Wizards wear robes again!

Very Prada.

Next show us a scene where Harry tells us how Draco’s up to something and must be stopped and then tell us Draco was eviscerated two days later and see what conclusions we draw.

I kind of want this on an icon.

It says so right here in the script: Demonstrate Liquid Luck before final battle.

This somehow differs from the 90285935 other situations in the Potterverse that were reliant on Harry's unusually good luck.

Btw, Harry’s sympathy towards SPEW does not lead to him to be uncomfortable with his own slave. Luckily.

Just because you approve of sentient creatures being forced to do your bidding doesn't mean you can't also pity them and their inferiority.

elanor: a question

[(Anonymous)]

" I so wish Maya’s Draco was in this scene. "

You made me really intrigued.Where can I find her lj and fan-fiction?

Re: elanor: a question

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

You can find her right here, happily!:-) Maya is mistful. She's done two fabulous post-HBP fics, "If You've A Ready Mind," which is an AU where Draco was put in Ravenclaw, and the wip "Quality of Mercy." They're on her lj.