And forward with the HBP snark

[biichan.livejournal.com]

-- Reason number ninety-a-hundred why Death Eaters are Evol: killing poor defenseless foxes. As opposed to poor defenseless Aurors, I suspect.

-- Cissy. Hah. Pwned.

-- Is this supposed to be some sort of meta-commentary on Snape, that the ugliness of his home reflects the ugliness inside him? Because, um.

-- Still, it's gotta suck to live in the polluted ass-end of nowhere. No wonder the man's so grouchy all the time. At least the fox didn't have two heads.

-- But seriously, you've got to like Cissy in this. She's pretty damned determined, after all, and how can you not respect a prissy society lady that would travel to the polluted ass-end of nowhere in order to save her son.

-- On that subject, Spinner's End has now been renamed Spinner's Polluted Ass-End of Nowhere. Because I say so.

-- Snape's living room resembles a padded cell. JKR's way of saying he's nuts?

-- What Peter really reminds me of in this scene is an Igor. Except Igors enjoy being Igors. Peter is the sort that would bring Snape the Criminally Inthane Insane brain just to spite him.

-- Also, Bella reminds me of the Spirited Designated Heroine of a trashy romance novel throwing the Byronic Antihero's misdeeds in his face. Luckily, our denouement should happen offstage.

-- Can't you just see the Azkaban escapees lying around with their Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome? No wonder Voldie's so crucio-happy.

-- Ahem. PHILOSOPHER's Stone. Thank you.

-- Remember back when OotP hit and three years of Snape heroically hiding out from the Dark Lord he scorned were wiped out in a day? Just like all the Harry's seventh year fics have just been invalidated? If she does this again I vote we rename the verb 'joss' to 'JKR.' As in 'Man, she sure JKR'd that fic.'

-- Also, has anyone thought about Voldie's speech at the end of book four? If Snape was the most faithful servant--which he very well might have been--who in the bloody fuck is the Fourth Man? Okay, end legit canon speculation.

-- Snape, darling, I wouldn't use the beaten by teenagers as an insult if I were you. Those were quite uneven odds. Those teenagers had the Author behind them after all.

-- You know, he's being almost logical. Amazing. No wonder he's a bad guy.

-- Am I the only one who LOVES how he describes Our Hero? Mediocre... gets out of tight corners by sheer luck... all we're missing is the bit about people making special excuses for him. Oh, and the being God Author-Touched bit.

-- Ew. Am I the only one who wants to puke because Dumbledore's greatest weakness is thinking the best of people? Talk about the most nauseating of Mary Sue Non-Flaws.

-- Cissy as the self-sacrificing mother. Very Victorian. Also showing that she is selfless enough to be allowed to breed, even if she is evil.

-- Bellatrix, however, is just too bitchy to be anything but barren.

-- Dude. Am I the only one thinking that the next thing Cissy is gonna offer Snape is sexual favours? Bad, pervy JKR.


The Cricket Rule and Day-for-Night: Self-explanatory

POV Shots: Damned if we know who it is, but it sure ain't Harry.

also Chekhov's Gun on the Mantlepiece Rule: The Unbreakable Vow

Comments

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

Though it's Ginny who has the ultimate Mary Sue fault: she has a fiery temper.

Don't forget that Harry has his saving people complex!

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

There's a Mary Sue meme for people! Find out what your Mary Sue flaw is. Mine is that I'm not patient enough with people who are not as smart as I am. Yours can be that you care too much about others, to the point of letting them take advantage of you. Unless you have your eye on another flattering flaw...

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

Hey, hon! I owe you a bunch of comments, esp. at your GOF chapter, I was just away this weekend.

I think I want mine to be the ultra-irritating Gryffindor-esque 'I'm too brave and reckless when rushing off to defend underdogs'. Although since I'm a girl (you know what it's like) and this is Potterverse we're talking about, it should probably be that everyone's jealous of me because I'm beautiful (except not in the way that Hermione and Ginny are jealous of Fleur, though.)

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Ah! Yes, of course that is totally you. The "too nice" thing really didn't fit. You're such a hero!