HBP Chapter Twenty-Five

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

*The fact that Harry is going out with Ginny Weasley is the talk of the school. Two stuck-up jocks choosing to date each other is far more interesting than the school’s golden boy almost killing someone in the boy’s room.

*Oh, excuse me. Far more interesting than Harry being "involved in scenes of horrific Dark Magic." As an innocent by-stander. Damn that Malfoy and his obsession with the stuff.

*Unless, of course, the gossip goes something like, "Harry Potter must be seriously closeted. First he tries to kill Malfoy after some kind of spat in the boy’s bathroom, and then he grabs himself the nearest girlfriend to cover."

*Oh my god, Harry and Ginny are such a nightmare as a couple. How many hours a day do you have to hear them do the popular couple shtick? And how much are Ron and Hermione getting paid to pretend to roll around laughing at their lame jokes?

*So Ginny doesn’t take crap from Ron and she doesn’t let anybody tell her who she can snog in public. I think we get it. Enough, please.

*And by the way Ron, I’m really sorry you’ve been given this completely fake dialogue out of a 1950s educational film to recite to your sister in the 1990s.

*And then Hermione gets in on the act, "The truth is you don’t think a girl could be clever enough to be the Half-Blood Prince!" Jesus, Hermione. Of course a girl could be clever enough. It's just that the Half-blood Prince is obviously far too interesting and important to the storyline to be a girl. Keep up, would you?

*Hermione has, of course, been researching who the Half-blood Prince is. She must be so thrilled to finally have something to investigate this year. Nothing but boring questions like "Who killed Ron or Katie?" all year. Finally she can sink her teeth into the Potions Whiz Identity Caper!

*Harry wants to know if Ron thinks he’s mad wanting the book back. Mad? No. Worried for his well-being would be more like it. I think he’s accepted years ago that Harry’s a stone-cold bastard.

*Please let Ron’s and Harry’s quick protestations of how the spell Harry used on Malfoy "wasn’t great" be a set up for something in Book VII. Sure I’m probably fooling myself, but the Montague scenes that played out and now I’m hopelessly hopeful.

*Ron happens to mention Malfoy healed all right and was back on his feet in no time. So Malfoy’s return to class and the first time he saw Harry since he was staring up at him through a film of blood wasn’t worthy of a mention?

*Harry agrees Malfoy’s fine, but his conscience gives a little squirm thinking about almost killing him. A little squirm. As opposed to the way his conscience ached at something really important in the last chapter. What was it? Oh yes, he wanted to ask out Ron’s sister.

*Well, enough of that talk of Malfoy—back to complaining about those dreadful detentions.

*Honestly, I’m tempted to give JKR the benefit of the doubt here. I do think it’s quite possible that everyone not talking about what happened to Malfoy could be on purpose, that they just can’t deal with it and won’t until something forces them to in the next book.

*Harry thinks Snape might be purposefully keeping him from Ginny. You go, Snape! He can’t stand the H/G either!

*Not to mention Snape gives the author an easy way to tell us how great it would be if Harry was spending time with Ginny without actually having to write it. You think that’s telling not showing? Do I need to type out the forced, lame banter of the beginning of the chapter again to remind us of the bullet we’re dodging with the telling not showing?

*Harry’s walking by the RoR to get to Dumbledore’s office. This seems to imply it’s not quite as strange for Tonks to be in that vicinity when she found Dumbledore wasn’t in his office earlier.

*Trelawney didn’t know students knew about the RoR? How drunk was she all last year?

*I’m sorry; I’m having a hard time following what Trelawney’s saying here. The subplot where she sinks into alcoholism just cracks me up so much! Apparently people are starting to make accusations about it!

*Trelawney hazards a guest that the whooping she heard in the room was male. Malfoy would like me to point out here that whooping is often done in the falsetto, and that his voice changed somewhere around third or fourth year and could in no way be mistaken for a female voice normally.

*Good of Trelawney to call out "Who’s there?" and get thrown out of the room. Many alcoholics would have just hidden their own bottles and snuck out of the room again without being scene. Most, probably.

*I love that Harry’s so obviously critical of the way Trelawney handled herself here so that she didn’t find out exactly what was going on in the room. Because his own year-long investigation has gone so much better.

*You’d think Trelawney and Harry would do a little bonding over the fact they’ve both been warning DD of the same thing all year and he’s been ignoring them. Not that this will keep everyone at the end of the book from thinking they’re all lost since DD knows all and has been keeping everyone completely safe for years and trusting him to take care of everything was the only thing standing between the world and total ruin.

*Firenze’s been laughing at Trelawney’s predictions too. Firenze being a ground-breaking character in that he is both literally and metaphorically a horse’s arse.

*I’ve got to stop here for a second and be amazed that Wizards haven’t come up with a magical cure for bed bugs.

*Harry suddenly begins to pay attention to Trelawney. Wait, let me guess, is she talking about something directly important to him? I’m a Seer too!

*Snape! Snape! Snape! I’m sorry, but Snape the Eavesdropper is one of those moments you expect but it doesn’t make it any less cool that it happened.

*I was recently reading this conversation with people who honestly do not see the importance of Harry/Snape in canon. I’ve no idea how you can question that when a piece of information about Snape being the eavesdropper causes Harry to have waves and waves of raging emotion roll over him. The same kid who almost killed Malfoy and seconds later was worried about his science grade.

*As much as I don’t like Dumbledore much, I kind of love wondering what it must be like to be him and have Harry come bursting into the room. His whole life in his office is probably punctuated by Harry and Snape making just these kinds of furious entrances. The door’s probably got cushioning charms on it.

*LOL! I also love Dumbledore’s, "Harry, you were never a good Occlumens" given the fact that Harry’s probably standing there with steam coming out of his ears that float up over his head to spell out SNAPE.

*Makes a bit more interesting to me on this read, btw. Early on we always got scenes of Draco clearly trying to keep his emotions in check with tell-tale signs like spots on his cheeks. But even then I suspect, given this now canon bit of his personality, that he may have been disconnected from the emotion itself, not knowing how it was coming out physically. Now he may be crossing that hurdle into actually be unreadable at times. Which JKR probably thinks is a sign of evil along with the rest of the fandom, but I like a lot. And it’s not fanon.

*Harry puts up a violent struggle against the CAPSLOCK OF DOOM, and fails.

*Harry wants to tell DD he’s a foolish old man for trusting Snape. My Seer powers tell me somebody else is going to tell Dumbledore that later…

*Harry’s worried DD won’t take him along if he doesn’t master his anger, despite the fact that DD earlier made a big speech about how hate made Harry strong. And Harry told us how he wasn’t afraid because of his anger at Snape.

*Dumbledore explains how Snape couldn’t have known the people Voldemort would kill were Lily and James, Gryffindors with actual worth They might have been Slytherins, and that would have been good for us!

*Harry asks DD if he hasn’t noticed people Snape hates tend to end up dead. As a reader I tend to notice how Snape keeps alive the people he hates. Some of them die despite his help. Harry keeps on ticking just to annoy him.

*"I trust Severus Snape completely" says DD. I just had to type that since I hang out in areas of HP fandom where "I trust Snape completely" means anything from "I trust Snape to be unable to find a way to kill Harry while under a Life Debt and not beyond that" to "I wouldn’t trust my life to Snape."

*Dumbledore shames Harry for suggesting he doesn’t take the lives of his students seriously. Except for Katie and Ron, whose lives had to be risked. And those people I mentioned in the last book where I said something about not caring about faceless people dying if I could bring you a little happiness.

*Actually, when Dumbledore says, "Please don’t suggest I don’t take the safety of my students seriously" in my head I hear Harry responding with that line from Violet’s father when Willy Wonka claims he takes good care of his guests: "Yeah, you took real good care of that August kid!"

*Dumbledore tells Harry he’s to obey his every command without question. So it’s business as usual, then.

*Hermione has the courtesy to look terrified at what Harry is telling her to do even as she’s supposed to think Harry’s crazy and nothing important could come from Malfoy.

*Harry gives the FF to Ron and Hermione and tells them to share it with Ginny. Does Ginny really need a bottle of golden liquid luck? Doesn’t she pee the stuff?

*Harry will be fine, he’s with Dumbledore. That’s it, Harry. You don’t want to grow past the childish trust in Grandpa. That’s how you go evil.

*Hermione and Ron really know the drill don’t they? They’re piling on the stunned, the awestruck, and the horror for Harry before he goes off into the sunset, literally.

*Dumbledore says how he often goes into town for a drink…or he appears to. Dumbledore, you badass sneaky super spy you!

*Harry reveals he hasn’t got an Apparating license, because he feels it’s best to be honest. Because Harry always feels it’s best to be honest when it really doesn’t matter. That way you rack up honesty points and your important lies don’t count. Having grown up Catholic, I know how this works.

*In this case it’s an especially good time to be honest because this entire journey started with Harry being born less than 17 years ago, making him ineligible for a license.

*I’m still a little confused about Harry’s big honesty moment until Harry reveals that "I don’t have a license" is code for "I am bad at Apparating and don’t know that I’m up to this journey." Luckily Dumbledore seems to understand. Well, that proves he’s really a Gryffindor. Of course he understands that in Gryffindor culture you would never admit you can’t do anything physical like Apparating in this kind of situation. So what you do is suggest you’re worried about doing something illegal. Obviously nobody would really care about doing something illegal, so the other person is clued in that you’re really speaking in code for inadequacy.





The Cricket Rule / Day-for-Night
Working hard on that atmosphere as Dumbledore and Harry leave. The night’s got to be as pleasant as possible for us to destroy!

Designated Hero
The kid whose conscience is more bothered by asking out a girl related to his best friend than almost killing someone.

IITS
If you’ve snuck into a room to hide something so that you won’t be seen, and find someone else in the room, why would you call out to them?

Idiot Picture
How many people have been warning Dumbledore there’s something he’s missing that’s going on this year? "He’s probably got a pile of "Bin Laden Determined To Attack Inside The United States" briefs stuffed in his desk too.

Informed Attributes
That Dumbledore takes care of everybody!

Ken and Andrew’s Rule of Plot Holes
Wait, so Snape only heard the first part of the Prophecy? Then how did Trelawney see him get thrown out?

McGuffin
Used to good use here with Harry and Dumbledore leaving just as Malfoy gets the Cabinet working.

Misdirected Answering
Well, sure Snape told Voldemort there was a baby out there he ought to kill—but the important thing was he didn’t know it was you!

"Watermelon, watermelon, cantaloupe, cantaloupe"
"And stay out!" Oh, hello Dumbledore. I just wanted to remind the readers that I exist tending my bar full of murmuring patrons as the saucy bar maid I am before I get mentioned in the chapter after next. Have a nice night!

Final score: 10

Slytherin liquid count: Drunk Trelawney, Liquid Luck, Dumbledore pretending to go out for a drink whenever he’s being cunning.

Comments

more tomorrow

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

"I trust Snape completely" means anything from "I trust Snape to be unable to find a way to kill Harry while under a Life Debt and not beyond that" to "I wouldn’t trust my life to Snape."

Be fair. The line is from a guy who also says he'd entrust his life to Hagrid.

Harry asks DD if he hasn’t noticed people Snape hates tend to end up dead.

As opposed to people Harry hates, who just end up flayed or disfigured.

Apparently people are starting to make accusations about it!

Who? Because presumably Dumbledore already knows and has smiled with tired amusement over it. I can't think of anyone else who'd care - it's not like professionalism or student endangerment are high on the other teachers' priority lists.

Malfoy would like me to point out here that whooping is often done in the falsetto, and that his voice...could in no way be mistaken for a female voice normally.

Slytherins are always girly! That's how you know they're evil.

LOL! I also love Dumbledore’s, "Harry, you were never a good Occlumens"

This chapter's pretty groundbreaking itself - twice people tell Harry that he's not talented at skills (even useless ones like Divination or ones that his failure just demonstrates his superiority, like Occlumency), without even the obligatory 'boiling rage'. Harry's learning to prioritise! Of course it's always two steps back for every one forward, since the capslock makes an appearance again.

Dumbledore shames Harry for suggesting he doesn’t take the lives of his students seriously. Except for Katie and Ron, whose lives had to be risked. And those people I mentioned where I said something about not caring about faceless people dying if I could bring you a little happiness.

And Montague. And everyone who went to school with Lupin the werewolf. Or got taught under Hagrid, Moody, Lockhart or Quirrell.

Harry reveals he hasn’t got an Apparating license, because he feels it’s best to be honest.

Well, this situation is really important. Unlike when Snape asked him about the book where he learnt the spell that nearly killed someone. Because then issues that were as equally important as a human life, like Harry’s reputation in Potions!

Does Ginny really need a bottle of golden liquid luck? Doesn’t she pee the stuff?

And Harry still has to save her from a Death Eater later. Presumably just for The Romance1!! since everyone is already protected.

Harry wants to tell DD he’s a foolish old man for trusting Snape. My Seer powers tell me somebody else is going to tell Dumbledore that later…

LOL, Dumbledore has BOTH sides fooled that he’s a nice, sweet old man who just loves too much. Nice work!

Firenze’s been laughing at Trelawney’s predictions too. Firenze being a ground-breaking character in that he is both literally and metaphorically a horse’s arse.

Ironically, Firenze is like a typical wizard here – no, I don’t have a better prediction. In fact, I find all your mortal worries a waste of time, except the ones that concern important people like Harry, Dumbledore and Hagrid. But I’m still connected enough to sneer at rivals like Trelawney, even though she’s totally right. He kinda reminds me of Arthur bitching out Lucius for his evil donations – put your own money where your mouth is, then.