HBP Chapter Twenty-Six

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

*Harry and Dumbledore seem to have Apparated themselves into an entirely different book. Suddenly we’ve got cliffs and the sea and salty air. It’s so not the kind of place Harry usually goes. I feel like there should be tourists.

*Harry can’t believe the orphanage brought the kids to this place for a day trip because it looks dangerous. How Muggle of him. A wizard would probably be thinking, "Well, the jagged cliffs and the steep drop into the sea is all right, but isn’t there a sea monster that could eat them?"

*Tom’s a pretty badass magician at ten, getting two children and himself down a cliff face. Harry doesn’t seem to have much idea how to do it magically at 17.

*Dumbledore’s tale of how Tom brought the children this way just to scare them because he’s a psychopath makes you wonder why Dumbledore’s brought Harry the same way.

*I’ll bet Harry’s water-logged clothes billowed around him. Swimming in a robe must be really unpleasant.

*I honestly can’t remember where Harry stands on the swimming question at this point. I seem to remember being told he wasn’t allowed to take lessons with Dudley when he had to face the Second Task, but he seems pretty handy at it now. Did the mermaids just give him that kind of confidence that’s a synonym for skill?

*Maybe this is because I just saw the movie Talk to Her, which features a version of this, but damn, Harry and Dumbledore appear to be entering a big rock vagina. No wonder it’s so cold and unwelcoming. Isn’t there a nice pillar Harry could climb instead?

*How can Dumbledore tell this is the place? It has known magic. In that way that lots of fantasy series can have things know magic but has never really been suggested in this one. Luckily I’ve read it enough in fanfic that it’s not too jarring. They’ll be breaking through webs of wards in no time.

*Once Harry hears that he can totally feel the magic too. Mm-hmm. Very sensitive to enchantment, is Harry. Not.

*Dumbledore and Harry are still in the ante-chamber, and must penetrate the inner place, where the real danger lies. It’s like the Cave of H/G metaphor!

*Honestly, this is the second scary, cold, cave full of monsters that Harry’s been in while being connected to his ideal girl in some way. How many more signs from the universe does the boy need? A rain of Judy Garland records?

*Of course, both caves were made scary by the presence of handsome Tom Riddle. He’s the one that makes all this seem cold and barren! Once he’s vanquished all these dark slits and tunnels and inner places will seem cozy and warm! These are Voldemort’s obstacles, not nature-made!

*Harry’s never seen anyone work things out like Dumbledore does here, by running fingers over things and not saying anything. Harry explains this by saying bangs and smoke are really a sign of ineptitude, but that’s not really the point, is it? We’ve seen plenty of people work magic smoothly and quietly before. What we’ve never seen is any hint of being able to work out Braille spell codes or whatever Dumbledore’s doing here. If I were Harry I’d be demanding to know exactly what discipline this was and why it wasn’t taught at Hogwarts, the only school there is.

*Dumbledore apologizes for forgetting the Power the Dark Lord Knows Not that Harry has in spades does not include elementary comfort spells, so he can’t dry himself off after swimming.

*Dumbledore’s all disdainful about Tom’s password protection on his cave. "Oh, blood magic. So crude." This from a guy whose office is open to anyone with half a brain and a sweet tooth.

*Good thing Tom didn’t use the Slytherin method, huh? Stare at the rock and say "Genocide."

*The darkness in the cave is somehow denser than normal darkness. I believe the technical term for this is "scary dark."

*Hold the phone. Harry just asked a logical question about summoning charms.

*Dumbledore wears buckled shoes? Like Ben Franklin style buckle shoes?

*Magic always leaves traces, Dumbledore says again. Also he knows the style of the kids I taught—back when I was forced to deal with non Chosen Ones at Hogwarts. Look Harry, I’ve got like one more chapter to be alive in this series and I’ve got to reveal all my highly advanced wizard powers and magical genius you’ve only heard about before I kick the bucket, so expect a lot of this.

*Harry makes another logical deduction, this time about weight. Apparently any time Harry says something halfway smart he’s going to be wrong.

*Which is probably why Harry doesn’t ask Dumbledore if there’s not some way they can fly over the water.

*Harry’s powers won’t register compared to Dumbledore’s? That sounds like a diss on the Chosen One to me. I think a fight is in order!

*Voldemort’s mistake, says Dumbledore, is that age is foolish and forgetful when it underestimates youth. It’s Voldemort’s mistake because Dumbledore would never make such a mistake. Or…would he? Mwahahaha!

*Dumbledore totally gets off on Harry being freaked out by things that he can then be calm about: Yup, knew that was there. Never occurs to him to just warn Harry. Not that I can fault him too much for that. Dramatically it’s the only choice. But still, it fits his character too, and if Draco Malfoy were the Chosen One (heaven forbid) he’d be making sarcastic comments at him about it.

*Dumbledore continues to drop just enough hints at the dangers they’ll be facing to freak Harry out without calming him down. Again, I know this is dramatically good for the author, but it still says a whole lot about Dumbledore’s style. He’s all about nobody else knowing anything and letting him take care of it. Oh, you don’t have to know about the bodies under the water because I don’t think they’ll be a problem yet. So I won’t tell you what they are and what to do if I’m wrong and one jumps out at you.

*Dumbledore explains there’s nothing to fear in a body or in darkness. Common sense, really. It’s not like the body could be a zombie attacking you in a magical darkness with powers all its own…oh wait, YES IT COULD!

*Harry clicks into his "Woe is me I shall never see the warmth of Hogwarts and my friends again!" At least there’s the small comfort that he didn’t have a good-bye scene with Ginny.

*Harry can’t pretend now that he isn’t scared. Well, given that he’s traveling with the Crypt Keeper, you can hardly blame him. Anyway, they finally arrive at the bird bath of doom, which appears to be filled with radioactive goo.

*The Horcrux is guarded by magic so mysterious it can only be broken through by a super genius powerful wizard mumbling and waving his hands in ways we could never understand. Too bad they didn’t use Voldemort’s Security Firm when they were trying to keep people from that Philosopher’s Stone that was protected by a series of puzzles tailored to the talents of three 11-year-olds.

*Nice little mention of Dumbledore’s "insane" need to see the good in Snape everyone when he says Voldemort wouldn’t make the Potion immediately fatal.

*Dumbledore’s concluded he’s got to drink the Potion. Doesn’t even try getting rid of it in some other way, like pouring it out, spitting it out or vomiting it back up. Wouldn’t it be funny if Dumbledore was sort of killed by his own confidence that he couldn’t be wrong? Oh wait; he kind of was killed by that anyway.

*Ooh. Listening to Dumbledore explain how Voldemort would want to keep someone alive for a while after they penetrated their defenses makes me really look forward to the Regulus story! How on earth did he manage to leave a note? He’s the best wizard ever!

*Harry wonders: was this why he was brought along? So he could force feed Dumbledore a Potion that would cause him unendurable pain? Well, that’s what the readers are hoping Harry, because it’s the best thing you do on this trip.

*Harry and Snape could have such good bitch sessions about Dumbledore if they didn’t hate each other.

*Harry asks if he couldn’t drink the Potion, which sounds all sacrificial and brave but you know, if I were in Harry’s place I’d want to be the one to drink it because I’d think Dumbledore had a far better chance of getting me out and fixing me than I had of getting out alive once Dumbledore was Potioned.

*Hating himself, repulsed by what he was doing…blah blah, like Snape on the Tower, right? Right.

*Yes, this’ll make it stop lied Harry (as he should). But it doesn’t count cause remember how he told the truth about not having an Apparition license?

*It’s lucky that for all Dumbledore’s horrors as a result of the Potion, he’s quite willing to drink it. What would Harry have done if he’d actually fought him?

*Kill me! Kill me! Kill me! Foreshadowing of the Tower more? You decide.

*Zombies appear and Harry goes for…Sectumsempra? So I guess that bloody scene in the bathroom was just a try-out that got a little out of hand? He goes for the Dark Magic? He seems to have taken to that spell really well.

*Dumbledore comes through with a fire spell. I don’t blame Harry for forgetting what Dumbledore said about fire. Given the way it was delivered, it’s not surprising Harry wouldn’t remember it (note that I’m not claiming Harry deserves to be eaten by zombies for not retaining carelessly given instructions about them. I’M LOOKING AT YOU, HAGRID!).

*Anyway, given that Harry has forgotten fire it’s interesting to see where his own instincts take him. I’m surprised he’s not Crucio-ing, to be honest.

*The zombies, unfortunately, have no blood to spill. Unlike Malfoy. Mmmm. Beautiful pure blood spilling in scarlet rivers over the cracked stone floor. Totally worth a mild twinge of conscience…

*Dumbledore says he is not worried, as he is with Harry. A bit of empty flattery given that Dumbledore just saved Harry’s arse with the Inferi after Harry panicked. If he wasn’t such a consistently smarmy git when it comes to Harry I’d think Dumbledore was being sarcastic.

*Which in turn makes me think how funny this trip would have been if it had been Snape and Harry.





The Cricket Rule

Day-for-Night
Oh, you know these got a big workout.

IITS
Is there a reason we’ve Apparated halfway down a cliff? It looks cool? Okay, that’ll have to do. Mis-en-scene.

Informed Attributes
I am not worried, Harry. I am with you. But more importantly, the danger has passed.

James Bond Exposition Rule
You see, Harry, the green goo can’t be immediately fatal, because Voldemort would need the person to stay alive long enough so he could track him down and meticulously reveal his master plan before leaving him to die alone.

Ken and Andrew’s Rule of Plot Holes
And then Dumbledore found the entrance to the cave by moving his fingers around mysteriously and being an old man with a white beard. Make up your own magical physics to explain what the hell he’s doing.

Final score: 4

Slytherin Liquid count: Swimming, boats, a dark lake, glowing green goo, wet and shivering!Harry, Potion of Bad Dreams and finally, nasty lake zombies driven away by good clean fire!

Comments

[mary-j-59.livejournal.com]

You say:

*Dumbledore says he is not worried, as he is with Harry. A bit of empty flattery given that Dumbledore just saved Harry’s arse with the Inferi after Harry panicked. If he wasn’t such a consistently smarmy git when it comes to Harry I’d think Dumbledore was being sarcastic.

*Which in turn makes me think how funny this trip would have been if it had been Snape and Harry.

Go <a=href"http://professor-mum.livejournal.com/">here for an interesting elucidation of just that theory! Far fetched, but brilliant; her linguistic analysis almost convinces me. The ones to look at are "Severus Stands in, Parts One and Two".

[mary-j-59.livejournal.com]

Sorry for messing up the html - just go to professor mum's livejournal, if you're interested.

[jodel-from-aol.livejournal.com]

Also here:

http://wkad-staff.livejournal.com/

Same author, same theory, different Lj.