Chapter Thirty

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I'm posting this early (hey, it's Friday over here, now that's it's past midnight) because I'll probably be too lazy to do it tomorrow. I'm kind of nervous posting this here, but I already said I would, so here we go. Beware, it's not too terribly enlightening-I loathe this chapter so much.


*Due to Hogwarts not being safe because Dumbledore’s gone, kids are getting pulled out of Hogwarts left and right. Except for the good ones-look, undesirables Zacharias and the girly Patil twins have already left. Pfft, cowards.

*You know, I feel bad for Lavender here. She was upset from her break up with Ron and now her best friend Parvati has left the school too. Times like these make me really feel the minor character love. Oh wait, she deserves it for having a friendship that doesn’t revolve around getting guys. I’m assuming Lavender is still there because her parents are probably Muggles-they don’t need to know anything. Bless their little Muggle socks.

*Zacharias Smith’s father looks haughty, which I guess is supposed to make us think “like father, like son”. Remember kids, blood doesn’t mean anything! It’s all about our choices!

*Wow, can you believe Mrs. Finnigan? First, she worries about Seamus in OotP, now she’s trying to take him home after a Hogwarts death? What kind of pinko commie world does she think this is?

*Seamus, of course, has to fight with her in the entrance hall in pure Gryffindor fashion (bet their voices carried, being in a hall and all). See how brave they are? Wussy Slytherins probably meekly followed their evil concerned parents home. Geez, leaving Hogwarts doesn’t mean they can’t come back for the funeral. Are the people who stayed back so noble or something?

*Madame Maxime throws herself into Hagrid’s waiting arms, which basically sums up every major romance in this book in a nutshell.

*Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny are spending all their time together. Neville and Luna, despite pathetically watching their coins all year so they could risk their lives for TBWL, are out of sight, out of mind. Somehow knocking out a mountain troll means the Trio are destined to be friends for life, while risking your life for Harry twice means you get a pity date to a lame Christmas party.

*To be honest, I’m glad the sextet didn’t happen here. Look what happened to Ginny in order for Harry to notice her for more than five seconds. I’ll vomit if Neville and Luna need to be “spunkified” to fight in book seven. Well, it would beat the pathetic “We’re not worthy of your great friendship, O Chosen One!”

*LOL, even the beautiful weather is mocking Harry, reminding him of all the good times he’d be having if Dumbledore were still alive. It probably all comes back to Snape again-damn you, Snape, for depriving Harry of even more sunlit days!

*Ginny is Harry’s greatest source of comfort, and it’s supposed to be cute, despite them never having had a serious conversation. You know, marijuana is the greatest source of comfort for plenty of people-doesn’t mean it’s good.

*Bill resembles Mad-Eye Moody, yet is still the same in personality. Wait…personality? I wasn’t aware he had one, aside from bad 80s rocker wannabe.

*Ginny’s just going to have to accept that Bill is marrying Fleur. Wow, that’s big of her. She’s so compassionate! Surely such a wretch as Fleur does not deserve the redheaded one’s benediction! *weeps*

*I love how Harry has to “hastily” add that Fleur is ugly (yeah, right, who’s going to believe that?) because ZOMG Ginny raised her *eyebrows*! The boy who will defeat the Dark Lord, ladies and gentlemen!

*Wasn’t Harry reassuring Ginny that Fleur was ugly such a lovely moment in romance? All girls need is for their ideal man to slag off other girls and call them ugly! Well, I guess that’s how we know Ginny’s “the right girl” by her scorn for other “silly females”. Tee-hee!

*I love how when the conversation gets serious, Ginny yawns and heads of to bed. She probably sensed that her role wasn’t required to do anything else but sit at Harry’s feet.

*Eileen Prince was teh ugly! Just like Merope! Good thing Lily’s so gorgeous and redheaded, isn’t it? Guess that’s what sets Harry apart-his mother was quite a catch!

*Geez, Harry, so Snape gave himself a lame nickname. Big deal. I don’t think Snape actually ran around Hogwarts still calling himself that.

*Eileen Prince gave birth to a murderer! Yup, the second Snape was born; she looked down and said “Damn, I gave birth to a killer”.

*Yeah, Harry, you so should have shown Dumbledore the book. Because it’s not like DD ever brushed him off before.

*I love how Harry says DD showed him proof that Voldemort was evil in school. Good lesson, Dumbledore. Choices only work for certain people. Served Riddle right for having an ugly momma.

*I found the image of Crabbe and Goyle looking lonely without Malfoy rather cute. I like to think they’re actually friends (what, you mean friendships outside the purity of the Trio and MWPP exist?) and that Crabbe and Goyle are not looking lost because Draco isn’t there to think for them or whatever people like to think.

*Where does Draco’s infatuation with the Dark Arts come from? Wow, childish hexes-yep, that’s an unhealthy fixation right there.

*Filch and Pince are standing next to each other, which is apparently an anvil. Geez, does everybody in here have to get paired up? Although that couple does seem cute to me-cantankerous love!

*It’s a beautiful summer day for DD’s funeral. Damn it, weather, stop mocking Harry!

*Tonks’s hair is pink again, I see. I know it’s also plausible that DD would have wanted it, but I felt like it was put in there for the reader to see that R/T was confirmed. Her powers are back into full swing now that she’s got her man! It’s a miracle!

*Harry feels a great rush of affection for Neville and Luna. Note that this doesn’t motivate him to treat them like they’re his equals or anything. And they were checking their coins constantly-man, the nerds really can’t be given some dignity, can they? Now, I like Neville and Luna, but their portrayal as sad saps begging for scraps from the Harry and Co. is definitely off-putting.

*As if this funeral wasn’t cheesy enough, we get all the creatures of the forest to pay homage. They had to check their schedules, though, just to make sure they didn’t have an appointment for Ginny-admiring.

*Tears are falling fast in Hermione and Ginny’s laps-of course. Tough, manly men don’t cry, that’s girly! Only when Hermione and Ginny do it, they’re being compassionate, but Cho Chang is an evil bitch for crying over her dead boyfriend.

*Harry doesn’t find any of the words in the eulogy to mean very much about the Dumbledore he knew. Yeah, Harry, me neither-where was “manipulative elitist with a serious case of hubris”?

*I laughed at Harry thinking in regards to DD “there was so much he should have said”-they could have had years!

*Ginny is no longer crying (unlike the pansy Cho!) and has a hard, blazing look on her face-omg what a badass! And of course she wouldn’t say “don’t do it”-only cowards worry about the welfare of other people when they’re about to embark on something dangerous! Good for Harry he picked a dittohead instead of someone who might actually have a personality beyond snagging the TBWL.

*Ginny speaks “fiercely”! Do you like her yet, guys? She's spunky with a heart of gold! Look at the feminist line “I never gave up on you”-either Ginny’s really sad or Harry’s just that irrisetable. I’m voting with the former. And what’s with Hermione playing matchmaker? Ugh-it’s just like with Molly goading Lupin to go with Tonks. Just butt out already.

*Oh, and breaking up at a funeral, Harry? Not cool-remember to go for the nice guy, ladies!

*It warms the cockles of my soul to see that even with Dumbledore dead, Ron can still find the time to wish he could beat up Percy. Looks like the only love DD would want more in the world only applies to love-struck Aurors and their asexual werewolf crushes.

*I know I’m supposed to find Harry’s desire to undertake the journey alone ever-so-noble, but it just seems really stupid. Bravery or no, Harry just got owned by Snape two chapters back-doubtless we’ll see another duel in book seven, in which Harry will pwn both Snape and Draco because he’s not allowed to look bad.

*There’s still one day left to enjoy with Ron, Hermione…and not Ginny. And so on an incredibly clichéd note (dark and twisting path ahead-WOE), HBP is over. Well, aside from certain cring-worthy chapters (Felix Felices-die!) and characters being annoying all over place, I'd have to say this book could have been a lot worse. And kudos to everyone for writing up some great recaps and inspiring new people such as myself. *fangirls*