Harry Potter Abridged! POA Chapter 20
Jan. 10th, 2012 01:51 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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deathtocapslockThis is a really short chapter, so this abridged chapter may be quite short as well.
[The group all leaves to take Peter to the castle.]
Sirius: Oh, by the way, Harry, I’m your godfather.
Harry: My dogfather?
Sirius: No- your godfather.
Harry: Oooooh, I get it now.
Sirius: So, if you really want to, I suppose I could allow you to move in with me once I’m free and this whole business blows over. If you don’t mind leaving your Muggle family terribly.
Harry: Oh, hell no I don’t mind! I’ll move in with you at once! My Muggle family abuses me so much- you don’t need to worry about them. Did I ever tell you about the time Aunt Petunia held me down while Uncle Vernon and Dudley teamed up and-?
Sirius: I’ll pass, thanks....
Harry: Wow! This is a dream come true! I get to live with a cool wizard after all and leave my psychotically-abusive Muggle relatives behind for good!
[But just as they leave the tunnel, Lupin starts to turn into a Werewolf!]
Sirius: Oh, snap! He forgot to take his potion, didn’t he! [Turns to Harry] Harry, run away- now!
Harry: But Ron’s still attached to the Werewolf!
Sirius: Leave that to me- just go!
[Harry and Hermione start to run as Sirius attacks Lupin to distract him.]
Peter: Aha! I knew something like this would happen! [Turns into a rat and runs for his life.]
Harry: Oh teh noes! Peter Pettigrew’s getting away!
[Eventually, the Werewolf runs away- but now Sirius and Harry are surrounded by Dementors!]
Harry: Oh, no! Quick, think of Sirius naked- Expecto Patronum!
Hermione: What ever shall I do? I will have no inkling of how to fend off Dementors until the fifth book!
Harry: Oh, no! They’re getting closer! Come on, naked Sirius, naked Sirius, naked Sirius... Expecto Patronum! Expecto Patronum!
Dementor: Your pitiful masturbation attempts will get you nowhere. Try taking counseling.
[But just then, a giant silver deer appears out of nowhere and charges at the Dementors, frightening them away!]
Harry: I... I just jizzed myself. [Falls asleep]
[The group all leaves to take Peter to the castle.]
Sirius: Oh, by the way, Harry, I’m your godfather.
Harry: My dogfather?
Sirius: No- your godfather.
Harry: Oooooh, I get it now.
Sirius: So, if you really want to, I suppose I could allow you to move in with me once I’m free and this whole business blows over. If you don’t mind leaving your Muggle family terribly.
Harry: Oh, hell no I don’t mind! I’ll move in with you at once! My Muggle family abuses me so much- you don’t need to worry about them. Did I ever tell you about the time Aunt Petunia held me down while Uncle Vernon and Dudley teamed up and-?
Sirius: I’ll pass, thanks....
Harry: Wow! This is a dream come true! I get to live with a cool wizard after all and leave my psychotically-abusive Muggle relatives behind for good!
[But just as they leave the tunnel, Lupin starts to turn into a Werewolf!]
Sirius: Oh, snap! He forgot to take his potion, didn’t he! [Turns to Harry] Harry, run away- now!
Harry: But Ron’s still attached to the Werewolf!
Sirius: Leave that to me- just go!
[Harry and Hermione start to run as Sirius attacks Lupin to distract him.]
Peter: Aha! I knew something like this would happen! [Turns into a rat and runs for his life.]
Harry: Oh teh noes! Peter Pettigrew’s getting away!
[Eventually, the Werewolf runs away- but now Sirius and Harry are surrounded by Dementors!]
Harry: Oh, no! Quick, think of Sirius naked- Expecto Patronum!
Hermione: What ever shall I do? I will have no inkling of how to fend off Dementors until the fifth book!
Harry: Oh, no! They’re getting closer! Come on, naked Sirius, naked Sirius, naked Sirius... Expecto Patronum! Expecto Patronum!
Dementor: Your pitiful masturbation attempts will get you nowhere. Try taking counseling.
[But just then, a giant silver deer appears out of nowhere and charges at the Dementors, frightening them away!]
Harry: I... I just jizzed myself. [Falls asleep]
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