PS Chapter Three
Oct. 27th, 2006 04:01 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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deathtocapslock*After the boa constrictor incident, Harry’s locked in the cupboard until after summer starts. Err…did he not have to go to school?
*Dudley’s broken all of his new things and run down Mrs Figg on his racing bike—well, at least now we see why Dudley wanted one.
*If Mrs Figg was a regular old lady instead of a Squib secret agent, can you imagine how much she’d hate both these boys?
*Harry’s glad school is over, so I guess he was really just grounded, not locked in a cupboard. Still, remember—even though Harry hates being at home school sucks just as much. Only Magic school is a proper escape from this house.
*More big stupid bullies who come over every day. I’m going to guess that friends like these are no friends at all. Vernon’s probably paying them to be friends with Dudley. Either that or they’re just angling for a job at the drill factory.
* Harry spends most of his time wandering out of the house, far from any blood protection the house might provide, and once again making Dumbledore’s plan a bit questionable.
*Also making it a bit more suspicious he has no friends.
*This chapter gives us our first taste of Harry’s devastating wit, which Dudley is too stupid to work out. Just as well. If he could work it out he’d have to be struck speechless by it.
*Mrs Figg redeems herself slightly before Harry’s escape to Hogwarts. She lays off on the cat love a bit and gives him cake. Though it’s not good cake. Tastes stale. Go make Harry a chicken pot pie, bitch!
*Dudley tries on his new, ridiculous Smeltings uniform. God, there’s nothing more embarrassing than people with pretensions to upper class tradition when their names aren’t even down for Hogwarts.
*Harry can’t speak, it’s so hard to keep from laughing at Dudley’s knickerbockers and boater. Harry ought to get all the laughs about uniforms he can now before he slips into his Hogwarts dress and squashed elf hat ensemble.
*At least he didn’t have to wear those horrid grey clothes Aunt Petunia dyed for him. That might have looked silly!
*Vernon tells Harry to get the mail, and Harry says to "Make Dudley get it." Poor thing, so cowed and downtrodden.
*Harry receives his first ever letter. It’s addressed to the cupboard under the stairs, in case you wondered if Dumbledore wasn’t aware of how Harry was treated. Too bad it wasn’t addressed to "The Child Nobody Loves at 4 Privet Drive."
*Harry rather stupidly takes the letter to the table, thus dooming the audience to pages and pages of tedious letter hijinx. This is the section of the book that made me almost put it down on my first read.
*Wonder why Petunia and Vernon are surprised at Harry’s letter. Surely Petunia had no illusions about Harry not going to Hogwarts? I’d imagine she’d have been on the lookout for letters for weeks.
*Dudley and Harry squabble like actual brothers in this scene. ♥
*Petunia can’t believe there’s Wizards watching the house—apparently for all her anti-Wizard prejudice Petunia gives the bastards too much credit. They are watching the house!
*She was probably lulled into a false sense of security by thinking if the house was being watched they wouldn’t let her abuse the small child inside it. But no, they just need the kid alive. Peripheral abuse is fine.
*You know, the spiders in Harry’s cupboard are a nice touch but kind of indicate nobody lives there.
*To review, a friendly letter from Hogwarts simply calling Harry to attend is enough to get Vernon to give him a bedroom. So much for all the claims that Wizards couldn’t possibly step in to help Harry for fear it would cause the abuse to escalate.
*I have a hard time believing that Petunia allows Dudley to have a second bedroom full of broken things. She doesn’t exactly seem like the "broken televisions kept around for years" type.
*The shelves are also full of untouched books. Because Dudley’s stupid. Not like Harry, who reads one book.
*One might think a boy in Harry’s position might have become a big reader for the imaginative escape, but remember he’s only got access to Muggle books, and they must suck.
*Dudley’s thrown his tortoise through the greenhouse roof in anger. It’s really a shame he’s not magical. He’s got such the talent for animal abuse.
*In case you were ready to stop feeling sorry for Harry, btw, he’s been given the smallest bedroom, which sucks. I, too, suffered the pain of having the smallest bedroom in the house growing up. You don’t get over that sort of thing easily.
*Dudley goes down in my estimation by once again announcing the arrival of the arrival of the Hogwarts letter instead of just reading the damn thing.
*And then Harry attacked Vernon…wait, what? Harry’s got Vernon in a headlock! That’s our boy!
*…"in which everyone got hit a lot by the Smelting stick" still makes me laugh.
*Harry’s got a plan to make sure the next letter gets through. Uh-oh. We might never get this letter.
*And Vernon heads off Harry’s master plan. Which is funny, but not quite as funny as it would have been if Harry had snuck downstairs to find Snape leaning against the door with a sarcastic remark.
*Harry gets up at six, gets yelled at for a half an hour, makes a cup of tea, and the mail’s arrived. Wow. British Post comes early! What time does the Cable Guy show up, midnight?
*Fruitcake joke alert! Just had to note it.
*On Saturday things started to get out of hand. The audience started to shuffle impatiently and yell things like, "Get on with it!" and "Just open the damn letter—the only one who doesn’t know what’s in it is Harry!" and "You’d think with the ability to do magic and all they’d be able to deliver a letter!"
*Dudley’s reaction to all this is funnier than Harry’s.
*Forty letters blow out of the chimney. And not a single one of them will be opened. Is this some sort of literary torture?
*Dudley sniffles after being cuffed for odd packing methods. See, I’m already screwed, because I’m loving Dudley. Even though he’s one of those horrible children who like technology instead of longing for the horse and buggy glory days of Empire.
*Btw, I’m getting a sense that someone is trying to send letters to Harry and Vernon doesn’t want him to receive them. Perhaps the letters are from those people back in Chapter One. It’s just a theory.
*They go to a sucky Muggle motel. Just kidding! All Muggle hotels are sucky, of course. A Wizard hotel would have palatial rooms with roaring fires and edible candy wallpaper!
*And we know it’s not fanfic because Dudley and Harry are in twin beds.
*The food at the hotel consists of stale cornflakes and cold tinned tomatoes on toast. I’m sorry, is the hotel food still being rationed?
*"Daddy’s gone mad, hasn’t he?" asks Dudley—if we could vote on which one of these two were going to be our hero for the next seven books, I think that might win it for sniveling Dudley.
*Harry makes another snide remark about Dudley’s television-watching habits being the reason he knows the days of the week, though since Harry himself didn’t know what day of the week it was, it’s kind of a double-edged comment.
*Okay, Harry’s thinking "you weren’t eleven everyday" pulls him out in front again for the hero vote.
*The Dursleys’ trip out to the island is like a brief detour into A Series of Unfortunate Events.
*The inside of the shack was horrible, for a change of pace. Too bad The Wizard of Oz already took the idea of using black and white to show how dull the mundane world is or the HP movies could have used it to drive that point home.
*Everybody thinks they’ve gotten somewhere nobody could ever send a letter. Everybody except the audience who figures Magical letters can go anywhere they damn well please.
*Harry gets the thinnest, most ragged blanket! The nerve, while the rest of the family is luxuriating under merely moldy blankets!
*Harry considers waking Dudley up on his birthday just to annoy him. Because if there’s one fun way to spend a birthday it’s annoying a bully who beats you up when you annoy him.
*Someone knocks on the door, signaling that the plot can finally now continue.
*This whole letter thing is like being on a crowded subway where they can’t shut the door, and until they get the doors shut they can’t pull out of the station.
Exploitation Filmmakers’ Credo
It’s like someone bet the author she couldn’t stop the plot dead for an entire chapter by having everyone run needlessly in circles.
Foley Work
Who’s making the scary footsteps outside in the rain? I hope it’s Leatherface!
IITS
Dear God, why do both Dudley and Harry, when they both know their parents are determined to keep them from reading these letters or just having anything fun, not just secretly grab one of the dozens of letters and read it in private?
Idiot Picture
I’m sure this road trip is going to stop those letters. Mm-hmm.
Ken and Andrew’s Rule of Plot Holes
So how does this blood protection work? Couldn’t Harry have been killed on any one of the days he was wandering around by himself? It wouldn’t even have had to be a Wizard doing it.
Final score: 5
Signs of things to come: Harry has a plan. This won’t go well.
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Date: 2006-10-27 04:52 pm (UTC)Yeah, well, otherwise how will Harry ever love and appreciate the magical world enough to save it? Not that that's manipulation or anything. I love that Dumbledore shows up in book 6 all iron fist of justice when really, he's just as guilty for Harry's mistreatment for standing by and doing nothing while it happened when he could have just started up with the muggle-baiting back in the day. Sort of like the way he stood by and watched another little orphaned boy...
*She was probably lulled into a false sense of security by thinking if the house was being watched they wouldn’t let her abuse the small child inside it. But no, they just need the kid alive. Peripheral abuse is fine.
Sounds like Gryffindor to me more than anything. If it had been Draco under Snape's charge, the Dursleys would have been in a world of hurt by now. You know, if not dead. :D
*One might think a boy in Harry’s position might have become a big reader for the imaginative escape, but remember he’s only got access to Muggle books, and they must suck.
Also, imagination is evil and only for those Slytherin scum like Snape and Draco. Plotting and scheming's all it's good for, remember?
*And we know it’s not fanfic because Dudley and Harry are in twin beds.
HA, win!
*The inside of the shack was horrible, for a change of pace. Too bad The Wizard of Oz already took the idea of using black and white to show how dull the mundane world is or the HP movies could have used it to drive that point home.
Hey, that never stopped the makers of The O.C.
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Date: 2006-10-27 07:15 pm (UTC)That's something that will never sit well with me. Dumbledore willfully neglected Harry, just as he did Tom. Doing nothing to stop abuse can cause as much damage as actively abusing someone.
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Date: 2006-10-27 09:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-29 03:15 pm (UTC)That is the kookiest thing--he was really taking a chance there trusting Harry not to point out that the Dursleys were all his idea and he tacitly approved their treatment for years, so maybe he's not the right person to scold them.
Sounds like Gryffindor to me more than anything. If it had been Draco under Snape's charge, the Dursleys would have been in a world of hurt by now. You know, if not dead. :D
Though the Gryffindors do enjoy threatening the Dursley at times in the future (or in the next chapter). They must be kicking themselves at neglecting these juicy targets for self-righteous bullying!
Also, imagination is evil and only for those Slytherin scum like Snape and Draco. Plotting and scheming's all it's good for, remember?
Sure do--and if I didn't I believe Draco will be telling long make-believe stories in a later chapter.
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Date: 2006-10-27 05:29 pm (UTC)Darn right, she knew what was coming. Which is why she let Vernon destroy them all. There was Harry all safely hidden from crazed psychopath and might even be a psycho himself. It had something to do with magic and Petunia was going to stop it. But, alas, she was foiled by big footsteps in the rain.
I always wondered where Vernon pulled up the money to buy/rent a lighthouse on a personal island. Hmmmmm.
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Date: 2006-10-29 03:16 pm (UTC)One wonders if they won't send the bill to Harry once he becomes rich...
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Date: 2006-10-27 08:13 pm (UTC)The first time I got a bedroom of my own, it was shaped like a misshapen T. Ha! Clearly my misery beats yours.
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Date: 2006-10-29 03:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-29 05:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-27 10:15 pm (UTC)Sadly, this is probably Harry's funniest line in canon. It's all downhill from here.
Harry can’t speak, it’s so hard to keep from laughing at Dudley’s knickerbockers and boater. Harry ought to get all the laughs about uniforms he can now before he slips into his Hogwarts dress and squashed elf hat ensemble.
Bwahaha! Yes indeed. With his natural good taste Harry landed on his feet among the WW fashionistas.
Dudley and Harry squabble like actual brothers in this scene. ♥
I love the rare moments where Harry relates to the Dursleys like fellow human beings, instead of like he's a visitor from Planet Elitist who happens to be lodging with the lowly natives (as the WW sees it, and I hope to God JKR herself disagrees). It's not that the Dursleys are better than that, it's that Harry really needs to grow past his notion that anyone he dislikes is less than a person.
-L
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Date: 2006-10-29 03:18 pm (UTC)It's true.
It's not that the Dursleys are better than that, it's that Harry really needs to grow past his notion that anyone he dislikes is less than a person.
Yes, though unfortunately Hagrid's about to show up and explain how Harry's going to live with his own kind from now on.
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Date: 2006-10-27 11:11 pm (UTC)What a shame Harry doesn't have some sort of special talent for catching fast-moving flying objects.
If Mrs Figg was a regular old lady instead of a Squib secret agent, can you imagine how much she’d hate both these boys?
Thankfully, from OotP she seems the kind of Squib who's inevitable jealousy of the Truly Worthy has turned into admiration for wizards and contempt for Muggles, rather than bitterness from knowing she'll never be as cool.
More big stupid bullies who come over every day.
They're only defering to Dudley because he's big and stupid (because fat, near retarded pre-pubescents are always popular!), remember. Unlike Harry's friends the Weasleys, who instantly know to defer to him since he's famous.
Though it’s not good cake. Tastes stale. Go make Harry a chicken pot pie, bitch!
LOL. Reminds me of the previous chapter, where he notes that his lemon lollypop is 'cheap'. It's no three course meal, but I suppose it'll do...
God, there’s nothing more embarrassing than people with pretensions to upper class tradition when their names aren’t even down for Hogwarts.
But Harry would have gone to Stonewall, the *ugh* public school, so clearly in spirit, he's a working class hero. Or something. (Sadly, the Dursleys, blinded by their hatred of the common people, have no idea that Hogwarts, like Stonewall, is also exactly the kind of place where it would be considered a hilarious joke to flush someone's head down a toilet.)
Harry can’t speak, it’s so hard to keep from laughing at Dudley’s knickerbockers and boater.
Also note Dudley 'parading' around. Like Draco the fashion critic, the unworthy are always marked by being a little less than manly. (Vernon once again, has the right priorities in hating nancy boys.) Showing off is for the legions of useless girls out there!
Although of course, Harry, while being too butch to care about clothes or hairbrushing or you know, washing and hygiene; doesn't hesitate to wring some emo over being forced to wear GREY
Dudley sniffles after being cuffed for odd packing methods.
The Dursleys are looking more and more like Our Kind of People, looking aside that whole icky fat/dirty blood thing.
Harry receives his first ever letter.
He's never even had a 'rude' letter from the library asking for books back. (I know it's a minor point, but it's not terribly surprising that of course the narrator views even the tiniest signs of bureaucracy as bad manners.
I’m sorry, is the hotel food still being rationed?
Would you expect more? The owner’s accent was working-class for goodness sake! No gold plates here.
To review, a friendly letter from Hogwarts simply calling Harry to attend is enough to get Vernon to give him a bedroom. So much for all the claims that Wizards couldn’t possibly step in to help Harry for fear it would cause the abuse to escalate.
I can’t imagine any wizards stepping in to help the abused when it’s much more fun to punish the wicked. Doling out pigs tails and choking sweets will surely win over the Dursleys to Harry’s need to be loved!
(I’ve gotta say, I kinda find the parts where Vernon’s being nicer to Harry post-letter to be a little touching. He might hate the boy, but he doesn’t want him to leave and be lost to those dodgy wizarding sorts!)
It’s really a shame he’s not magical. He’s got such the talent for animal abuse.
Perhaps if he had been, he and the tortoise could have shared the same kind of non-passive aggressive relationship Harry and Hedwig end up kindling.
Wow. British Post comes early!
Oh, if only.
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Date: 2006-10-28 07:26 am (UTC)What a shame Harry doesn't have some sort of special talent for catching fast-moving flying objects.
Yep, just goes to show that some people get on their House Quidditch team on the basis of pure talent.
Harry, while being too butch to care about clothes or hairbrushing or you know, washing and hygiene; doesn't hesitate to wring some emo over being forced to wear GREY
Ha! Only double Agent DE's can wear grey, everyone knows that! It's a sign of untrustworthiness
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Date: 2006-10-29 03:23 pm (UTC)He wouldn't waste that on Muggles, I guess.
Thankfully, from OotP she seems the kind of Squib who's inevitable jealousy of the Truly Worthy has turned into admiration for wizards and contempt for Muggles, rather than bitterness from knowing she'll never be as cool.
Yup--just like Neville and Luna, who are grateful when the cool kids spend time with them, knowing how superior they are.
But Harry would have gone to Stonewall, the *ugh* public school, so clearly in spirit, he's a working class hero.
Yes, it's a little odd, isn't it, that Dudley's meant to go to some private school? It seems like a given that nobody would want to go to a public school. *wonders about the Harry that would have gone there and maybe become a truly regular kid* Don't all three places place importance on beating up smaller kids?
He's never even had a 'rude' letter from the library asking for books back. (I know it's a minor point, but it's not terribly surprising that of course the narrator views even the tiniest signs of bureaucracy as bad manners.
Look, if Harry has a book out from the library he's got good reason for it and he'll give it back when he's ready, bitch!
I can’t imagine any wizards stepping in to help the abused when it’s much more fun to punish the wicked. Doling out pigs tails and choking sweets will surely win over the Dursleys to Harry’s need to be loved!
LOL--I know. They're always so flummoxed at actually trying to make someone's life better. Couldn't I just beat someone up for you?
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Date: 2006-10-28 12:39 am (UTC)I'm so glad someone brought this up. How big is this house anyway? There's the master bedroom, which should rightly go to Vernon and Petunia. Then there's Dudley's room, who is their rightful son. Then there's likely the guest room for when Aunt Marge or whomever comes to visit that Harry likely got.
What were they expecting? That Dudley move into the smallest room? Or maybe they should've given Harry the master bedroom! He's so more worthy of it than the silly Muggles.
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Date: 2006-10-28 09:27 am (UTC)I think they have four rooms? Vernon and Petunia's, Dudley's, guest, and toy room.
Heh, I kinda wanted to see letters for the rest of the family, for accuracy, addressed in the same way. 'Mr Dudley Dursley, Third Smallest Bedroom.' (And I imagine that if the Dursleys had given Harry the guest or something, the letters would still have had some emo label: 'Mr Harry Potter, Room with the Shabbiest Velvet Curtains and an Insufficiently Warm Chocolate Fountain.')
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Date: 2006-10-28 05:08 pm (UTC)Or else have a label that would say how great he is. Middle ground? What middle ground? He's our Chosen one, dammit!
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Date: 2006-10-28 05:23 pm (UTC)Maybe because he knew some people that would help him pull some strings to do it? Of course, this means that he is a jerk that uses influence to help him out! Not like our heroes who have never used influence, nope.
What a shame Harry doesn't have some sort of special talent for catching fast-moving flying objects.
I’m now shocked that Rowling would skip a chance to foreshadow more of Harry’s super awesome abilities!
*Someone knocks on the door, signaling that the plot can finally now continue.
Little did most of the readers know that behind that door was someone whom be the birth of many little subplots throughout each book and would eventually would learn to dispise.
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Date: 2006-10-29 03:25 pm (UTC)I know--worse knock than the Jehovah's Witnesses!
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Date: 2006-10-29 04:11 am (UTC)*The shelves are also full of untouched books. Because Dudley’s stupid. Not like Harry, who reads one book.
I remember ordering Quidditch Through the Ages from Amazon.com and getting it in the mail and thinking, "This is the book Harry seems to have spent several years reading?"
Sistermagpie:
*In case you were ready to stop feeling sorry for Harry, btw, he’s been given the smallest bedroom, which sucks. I, too, suffered the pain of having the smallest bedroom in the house growing up. You don’t get over that sort of thing easily.
Not to mention that studies have shown that most children actually prefer smaller spaces for their bedrooms.
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Date: 2006-10-29 03:26 pm (UTC)If only the Dursleys had known they'd no doubt have given Harry the whole living room!
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Date: 2006-10-29 09:40 am (UTC)It really is a shame. He’s got a talent for bullying younger kids too, so he would have fit in just fine at Hogwarts.
*In case you were ready to stop feeling sorry for Harry, btw, he’s been given the smallest bedroom, which sucks.
Those monstrous Dursleys - is there no end to their cruelty?!?
*Someone knocks on the door, signaling that the plot can finally now continue.
This whole “wizards send Harry a million letters but he just can’t grab one and read it in private” thing was so annoying that I’m almost glad to see Hagrid.
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Date: 2006-10-29 03:26 pm (UTC)I know! Luckily Hagrid will handily destroy all that good will soon enough.
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Date: 2006-10-29 11:16 am (UTC)Lucky we are soon to meet Draco Malfoy, beaten up by Bigger Kids Ron Weasley, George Weasley and Harry Potter, and Secret Hero of the Series!
You know, I slept in the smallest bedroom and I was the oldest child. Generally the older kid (i.e. Dudley) does get the bigger room. Besides, you know, I hear (vaguely, from somewhere, I could be mistaken) that Dudley needs a lot of room. Eh? Eh? Get it?
I bet Dudley has totally got one of the letters and read it, and is hugging the secret to himself. Because that would be hilarious.
Dudley threw his tortoise through the roof? I care not! Prepare to be astounded! Just wait until we get to book three and see Our Schoolyard Nemesis giving lip to a Special Magical Creature. Oh you'll see, you'll all see.
Hagrid is coming. Oh my God. Hagrid. I'm just going to close my eyes and wait for Draco. I'm doing it all for you, baby.
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Date: 2006-10-29 11:33 am (UTC)Out of curiosity, do you remember when you did start to feel that the narrator might not be entirely objective? For me, it was the Quidditch World Cup, the Veelas, and "That's why you shouldn't go for looks alone." I don't know why that line disturbed me so much, but for whatever reason, that was when my every instinct started screaming "danger! Beware! Take heed! This book is being written by a Dursley!" =]
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Date: 2006-10-29 06:47 pm (UTC)-L
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Date: 2006-10-29 03:29 pm (UTC)It kind of saddened me too.
Harry's shiniest moment for me in this chapter is "It's not every day you're eleven."
Besides, you know, I hear (vaguely, from somewhere, I could be mistaken) that Dudley needs a lot of room. Eh? Eh? Get it?
So you're saying Dudley's...tall? *is confused*
Dudley threw his tortoise through the roof? I care not! Prepare to be astounded! Just wait until we get to book three and see Our Schoolyard Nemesis giving lip to a Special Magical Creature. Oh you'll see, you'll all see.
Oh, we'll see. We'll see.
Hagrid is coming. Oh my God. Hagrid. I'm just going to close my eyes and wait for Draco. I'm doing it all for you, baby.
You might want a stiff drink. Hagrid's in amazing form in the next chapter.
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Date: 2006-10-29 05:38 pm (UTC)They kind of indicate Harry is a slob, who cleans only when his aunt orders him so, but will better live with the spiders than clean his tiny cupboard.
* I, too, suffered the pain of having the smallest bedroom in the house growing up. You don’t get over that sort of thing easily.
I have only got my own bedroom at 18.
It’s like someone bet the author she couldn’t stop the plot dead for an entire chapter by having everyone run needlessly in circles.
LOL.
So how does this blood protection work?
As long as he calls Dursleys' house his home, he is protected everywhere he goes. Only this makes sense.
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Date: 2015-07-23 05:57 pm (UTC)I agree with many of your points, but I found it spiteful how you make fun of Harry "only getting the smallest bedroom". The point is not that it is small, but that there were enough bedrooms (two in fact) for Harry and he had to sleep in a cupboard for all these years. Like he's too worthless to even get his own room, while Dudley had two.
All this sympathizing with the Dursleys is driving me up the wall. Were the wizards right to treat the Dursleys like the way they did? No. It was deplorable of them and makes them no better than the Dursleys.
But Harry is being ABUSED by his family! Regardless how you feel about the portrayal of non-magical humans, weight and looks by JKR or how older Harry turns out, Harry did not deserve this. Way to go to blame the victim.