Chapter Three

[sassafras-root.livejournal.com]

*I'm guessing Harry still had to go school here, seeing as how we get a mention about him being glad that it was over. So I'm guessing that outside of school hours he was shoved back into the cupboard? In that case, I'd be very glad to go to school.

*Dudley is of course the leader due to being the biggest (more fat!) and stupidest. He has no leadership qualities at all, it’s just because he and his friends are supposedly morons. Harry’s the only born leader here, but it’s all Dudley’s fault Harry has no friends, don’t forget!

*Dudley’s gang love to play Harry Hunting-but Harry’s too fast for them in order to showcase his inherent superiority. However, it’s there for the angst-give Harry a break for being a jerk; he’s had it rougher than anyone else!

*Harry’s as witty with the insults as ever, I see.

*Harry notes that Mrs. Figg wasn’t as bad as usual-again, Harry sounds like an ungrateful brat here. She’s the only one who treats him decently, but we can’t have Harry getting fond of her, now can we? She’s like Neville that way, too uncool to be appreciated, really. Harry’s clearly been perfecting the ability to tell who’s not good enough since childhood.

*I’m guessing we’re supposed to be outraged at the fact that Dudley is going to an evil school where they allow kids to hit each other in order for training in life. Hah, this faux- conservative mocking really cracks me up-as if the WW doesn’t think the same way? Let these kids break all the rules and nearly get themselves killed, it’s good training for later life! Wouldn’t want them to grow into cowards.

*Harry’s almost!new uniform is seriously ugly, but we all know Harry’s not going to go to boring old Muggle school (no, he’s off to learn useful stuff like turning beetles into buttons! Sign me up!). Please, like Harry would ever have to look bad unless it’s an attempt to make him an underdog (and even then it fails). Ron’s more likely to be the one getting his Hogwarts robes dyed due to him not being allowed to look better than Harry, ever.

*Aw, Harry’s first capslock in canon and it’s a childish “I WANT MY LETTER!”.

*I wonder if wizards have a device that lets them know where anyone they want to send a letter is at any given time. That sounds rather creepy to me-or maybe Harry’s just special and is being watched 24/7. DD did say in OotP he watched Harry more closely than anyone. ;)

*Seriously, though, it’s odd how Harry’s resentment at DD never really stretched that much to being left on Privet Drive in a cupboard for ten years. In OotP he was mainly angry at DD keeping important information from him, but in HBP they’re BFF again. It’s just strange to me-Harry’s not above blaming other people, has DD gotten Harry that loyal to him? Because the fact that DD knows Harry’s address is the cupboard under the stairs and doesn’t do shit is seriously screwy-was he that certain Harry wouldn’t grow up like Tom. Wait, my mistake, Harry’s mother was Lily Evans! It’s his mother’s Mary-Sue genes coming out of him again!

*Books are the only thins that hasn’t been touched in Dudley’s room-do you get that he’s a dumbass yet, guys? DO YOU? Loathe him, dammit! We all know how well-read Harry is, after all, don’t we?

*Harry thinking about how he’d rather been in the cupboard with that letter makes me wish that the letter was junk mail or something. Yup, I’m in a crappy little cupboard, but at least I’ve still got my only letter evar!

*“Who on earth wants to talk to you this badly?”-Dudley, I concur.

*I wonder if they’d go to this much trouble for any kid or is it just because it’s Harry? If there was a Muggleborn who did not want to attend Hogwarts (I know, that’s probably unheard of-who wouldn’t want to be a l337 wizard and all??), would they make them go? The theory about them obliviating Muggleborn parents is seriously creepy yet I can see it happening.

*Vernon is spreading marmalade on his newspapers-isn’t it amusing, watching people going nuts? I can’t wait for the alcoholism so funny jokes we’ll get with Hagrid.

*Dudley is missing television and the computer. Remember, technology=evil. Learn to trade some Chocolate Frog cards, Dudley, geez. Who’d want to blow up aliens on their computer when they can watch wizarding pictures blink at them?

*You can always count on Dudley knowing the days of the week thanks to television, thinks Harry. All right, thank you, narrative voice, I get that we’re supposed to find Dudley a spoiled brat and the fact that he loves television is the evol (Mike Teevee, anyone?). The WW has no televisions or any such substitute, probably a sign of their inherent superiority. Just look at their society and how safe it is (but whatever do they blame violence on?)!

*Harry gets useless stuff like coat hangers for his birthday. Quick, let’s discuss the reference to Harry’s odd present and socks and their impact on the septology! Vernon’s socks=missing Horcrux! LOL, anyone else remember the Galadriel Waters theories or is it just me?

*I am sad that this is the last chapter before knowing Hagrid. How less hatey my feelings for these chapter were. Man, is he ever a pain in his debut chapter.

Comments

[ladymauv.livejournal.com]

The irony of "They also carried knobbly sticks, used for hitting each other while the teachers weren't looking" just slays me. Yeah, unlike Harry's school where they carry magical sticks used for jinxing each other while the teachers aren't looking.

Mike Teevee, anyone?
Hah, I was actually watching "Willy Wonka" the other day, and I couldn't help but notice how much Willy Wonka reminds me of Dumbledore, oddly enough. They both dress in purple velvet and spout these eccentric phrases, and meanwhile they have a sort of laissez-faire attitude towards the kids they're in charge of except for the one favored kid who is the epitome of all good. Like sistermagpie points out, it's the whole "you took real good care of that August kid!" thing.

And Draco is totally Veruca Salt.

[kaskait.livejournal.com]

*“Who on earth wants to talk to you this badly?”-Dudley, I concur.

Dudley is the ONLY sensible person in the Dursley/Evans/Potter household.

[anehan]

*Dudley is missing television and the computer. Remember, technology=evil.

'Course it is! It makes you waste your time reading LJ when you could be doing something more productive, like reading tea leaves.

[(Anonymous)]

Harry sounds like an ungrateful brat here. She’s the only one who treats him decently, but we can’t have Harry getting fond of her, now can we?

Hmm. Did I blink and miss something, or are there no positive descriptions of Harry in the book so far? Rowling's spent two chapters telling us why we should feel sorry for the kid. But how about telling us why we'd want to read a whole novel about this surly, emotionally constipated boy who thinks everyone else is beneath him? Like, show us that Harry's imaginative, or smart, or driven, or kind to animals (on purpose, that is) – just one or two positive qualities to suggest why he deserves to be the hero.

Because the fact that DD knows Harry’s address is the cupboard under the stairs and doesn’t do shit is seriously screwy-was he that certain Harry wouldn’t grow up like Tom.

OotP cemented my Dumbledore hate with the scene where he tells Harry why he had to live with the Dursleys. Sure, those were "ten dark and difficult years", but hey, at least you weren't spoiled. That would have been really terrible. Moderate abuse builds character! Lemon drop?

The only justification (not an excuse) I can think of for DD's majorly screwed-up notions of childrearing would be if he was worried that a "spoiled" Harry might turn out like James. If he'd told Harry, "You weren't a pampered little prince like that royal pain in the arse, your father", I could almost forgive him. But somehow it's hard to imagine DD not having a soft spot for his Gryffindor bullies.

-L

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

in order for training in life.

How useless. Not like the lessons offered at Hogwarts by Hagrid, Lockhart, Trelawney and Umbridge!

LOL, anyone else remember the Galadriel Waters theories or is it just me?

Not me, and now I’m kinda curious…

Harry gets useless stuff like coat hangers for his birthday.

I’m sure they’re intended as insults or else something the Dursleys are forced to do, but I’ve always found the presents oddly touching. They don’t really like Harry, but they can’t just give nothing. (Heh, I suppose it’s still a cruel comparison compared to the no doubt luxurious and expensive gifts Harry lavishes upon them on their birthdays.)

Harry thinking about how he’d rather been in the cupboard with that letter makes me wish that the letter was junk mail or something.

LOL. All I can say is, thank goodness Harry wasn’t happy or grateful about something for even a single second.

Who’d want to blow up aliens on their computer when they can watch wizarding pictures blink at them?

Or you could just participate in the one other hobby of the entire WW, and watch people try to throw metal balls at each other’s heads in Quidditch.

You can always count on Dudley knowing the days of the week thanks to television, thinks Harry.

I’m impressed Dudley has the memory retention to recall week-long television schedules, considering he couldn’t add 2 in the earlier chapter.

All right, thank you, narrative voice, I get that we’re supposed to find Dudley a spoiled brat and the fact that he loves television is the evol (Mike Teevee, anyone?)

Someone write that cross-over. I will pay many Internet dollars.
My favourite part of the technology hate is the part in GoF where Dudley’s playing the subtly named ‘Mega Mutilation 3’. Funnily enough, there’s a licensed HP video game (as well as a Charlie and the Chocolate Factory one!) and it doesn’t featured building pacifist ideals.

I wonder if wizards have a device that lets them know where anyone they want to send a letter is at any given time.

I wonder if they magically know the letters aren’t being received by Harry, or whether they’re just assuming that of course once he knows he’s one of the elite, he’ll jump at the chance and RVSP immediately.

I’m guessing we’re supposed to be outraged at the fact that Dudley is going to an evil school where they allow kids to hit each other in order for training in life.

I imagine Smeltings at least would hold the same policies on DADA as Moody and Dumbledore, if they taught it.
And yeah, no-one’s ever gotten away with hurting another student at Hogwarts. Remember how outraged everyone was over the Sectumsempra?
And how awful that the pretentious Dursleys are trying to attain the dizzy heights set by true legacies like the Potters. For a second there, I was really scared that poor Harry would have to go to the grim public school threatened, and not a private school even richer and older than Smeltings!

[baeraad.livejournal.com]

*Dudley is of course the leader due to being the biggest (more fat!) and stupidest.

It does seem like Dudley's quite athletic even at this point. How did that happen, if all he ever does is loaf about in front of the TV? I would say "good genes," but look at his parents. =]

Maybe it's all that healthy Harry-chasing he's doing. See, never say that Harry doesn't give anything back to his adopted family - Dudley's physique and social life would both suffer if he hadn't had a mobile exersise machine around all his life. =]

I’m guessing we’re supposed to be outraged at the fact that Dudley is going to an evil school where they allow kids to hit each other in order for training in life.

Makes a lot more sense than inflicting upon Dudley a school where he isn't allowed to hit people, and inflicting Dudley upon a school where the students aren't already used to the likes of him and might reasonably have learned to defend themselves by now... =]

I wonder if wizards have a device that lets them know where anyone they want to send a letter is at any given time.

I always took it as some kind of magical computer thing - it automatically finds everyone who's due to start their first year and sends them a letter. If they don't open it, the magical computer thing senses that and sends even more letters. Only if that goes on for quite a while and the letters stay unopened do actual, living people get called in.

Now, the question "why the piles and piles of letters?" comes to mind, but it might suit the wizard mentality. If you have a problem, the proper way to solve it is through trying brute force first. ;)

Who’d want to blow up aliens on their computer when they can watch wizarding pictures blink at them?

Rowling wouldn't think computer games were so uncreative if she got to watch one good World of Warcraft roleplaying session, methinks. :)

Or not. Given her track record, I suspect Rowling holds to the "roleplayer = sad loser very likely to end up as a serial killer" view of things. =]