PS Chapter Seven
Nov. 24th, 2006 04:22 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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deathtocapslock*McGonagall's in green-emerald green. ESE!
*The front hall of the school is so big you could fit all of the Dursleys' house in it. Fuck you, Dursleys and your tiny place! Harry's in the big house now!
*McGonagall explains that the Sorting is a very important ceremony, as it will label you for the rest of your life and show how people should treat you forever based on your state of mind this day when you're eleven.
*Your house will become something like a family while you're at Hogwarts. Except if you're a Slytherin, in which case you'll become part of a menagerie of low lifes.
*Or you're a Gryffindor where, if you're Harry at least, you'll barely recognize half the house and barely speak to those you know but aren't in your group. Just like family!
*Honestly, even having classes with your house…the whole Sorting really is kind of hilarious. Were they worried war would go away and so took steps to ensure more fighting?
*Any rule breaking will earn a loss of house points. Bwahahaha! Just kidding, Gryffindors. You know I only mean some rule-breaking!
*I love that McGonagall leaves the kids by advising them to worry about what they look like-after all they're going out in front of the entire school to be judged. No Neville, you don't have time to lose weight before the Sorting.
*The ghosts appear. Several people scream. That high pitched girlie shriek was totally not Draco. Not at all.
*Harry stands behind a boy with sandy hair to go into the Sorting. Had this sandy haired boy not turned out to insult Harry's mother later and join his personal army, Harry would still being calling him sandy hair boy seven years later.
*Gold plates and goblets on the tables. Again-Fuck you, Dursleys!
*Btw, I'm sure this is the real reason Malfoy went to Hogwarts and not Durmstrang. Eastern Europe hasn't discovered gold yet. He might have gotten splinters from the wooden goblets.
*The faces looking at Harry look like pale lanterns in the torchlight. Wow, thinks Harry. My school is really white.
*Aunt Petunia wouldn't have let the Sorting Hat in the house it was so dirty. I guess that's supposed to reflect badly on Petunia's priorities instead of Wizard's hygiene.
*The Sorting Hat sings about all the four houses making most of them sound pretty positive. I guess that's kinder to the first years than singing something like:
You might belong in Gryffindor,
The one most like a frat,
With pantsing, puking pranking jocks
And mean girls into that.
You might belong in Hufflepuff,
No need to wail and sob
Pick up your torch and pitchfork
And join the red shirt mob.
Then there's the House of Ravenclaw,
Most think it's second best
The kids are mostly bland but cute
The house of "all the rest."
Or you'll be in Slytherin
If you're racist and uncouth
They're ugly, stupid racist chaps
The blueblood Hitler Youth.
*Not having come to fully hate Slytherin yet, Harry kindly suggests it's merely all he's heard about Slytherin that makes them look unpleasant and not the fact they're ugly.
*He even refrains from revealing Millicent's looks when she goes up to the hat. Maybe her troll blood wasn't clear until she got sorted.
*Harry's very nervous remembering how he used to not be picked for teams at school. But not so nervous that he neglects to remember his not being picked wasn't because he wasn't any good but because nobody wanted Dudley to think they liked Harry, which they would have if Dudley hadn't been so omnipotent. Why, the last kid who liked Harry Potter was turned into a codfish! Muggles can't stand up to bullies like Wizards can!
*Sandy haired Seamus takes a long time to be Sorted. Well, that explains why he's so untrustworthy in book 5, questioning Harry, sticking up for his mother and not joining the DA immediately. The hat knew all the time.
*I'm kind of impressed Neville's able to jog to the Gryffindor table with a hat over his face. That Neville, always impressing when you least expect it!
*If there was anything wrong with Harry's Slyther-vision, his Malfoy vision is working just fine. Draco swaggers to the hat and looks pleased with himself just for being Sorted. I think I saw him checking himself out in the golden spoons too.
*So why does the house not take its time with everyone? It seems like obviously a bad sign that Malfoy's immediately put in Slytherin, like the more complex people need to have time taken over them, even though Harry's just as much a Gryffindor as Draco is a Slytherin.
*Though of course, Harry might just be seeing Draco as Sorted quickly because he's envious-remember, he's worried he won't be chosen. Dudley might have sent a letter ahead.
*The Sorting Hat teases Harry for a while and does not try to put him in Slytherin but simply replies to Harry's own demand to not be in Slytherin, then puts him in Gryffindor.
*If Harry thought Malfoy swaggered and looked pleased with himself, how do you think Harry looked to Malfoy when he got the biggest cheer and the twins started chanting how they got Potter?
*Percy congratulates Ron. Pompously. Percy, just go over and sit at the Slytherin table now, why don't you?
*Zabini, Blaise is made a Slytherin. He'll have to wait another decade to be also made black, male and smokin' hot.
*Dumbledore gets up to say a few words, and they're all nonsense or funny words! Why, that's the genius who likes ten pin bowling, isn't it? How delightful! How many books until he dies again?
*Aww, Percy's all pro-Dumbledore at 16. Damn him for being all Muggle-like and rebelling later on.
*Hogwarts menu hasn't changed since the very first opening feast, btw. Only back then they slaughtered their own lambs.
*Nearly Headless Nick gets his nicknamed explained: his head isn't completely cut off, and more importantly, a silly upper class name joke like Mimsy-Torpington gets old really fast.
*Nick says Gryffindor's never gone so long without winning the house cup. I think we're all a little shocked at that, Nick. Must be part of Dumbledore's plan to make Harry love him.
*However they did it, remember it's proof that Gryffindor are actually the Underdogs, and that Dumbledore's stunt at the end of the year is completely fair.
*Even the Slytherin ghost is ugly. But at least he brings joy to Harry by making Malfoy unhappy. (There's something I wish fandom would draw-Harry's view of Malfoy next to the Bloody Baron at that first feast.)
*Of course, it's possible that Malfoy looks unhappy because the Baron's telling him, "That Potter kid hasn't stopped staring at you all evening."
*Wow, Harry really fastens in on Malfoy early, doesn't he? You tend to remember the books as Malfoy being the one who always starts everything, but he bothers Harry just by existing from day 1.
*Seamus gives the first example of Wizard/Muggle marriages being unfair and unbalanced by explaining his mother didn't tell his father she was a witch until after they were married. You'd think the father would be relieved-he must have previously thought she was insane or mentally challenged given how Wizards handle Muggle stuff generally.
*Neville oddly says his family thought he was all Muggle, given that he's a total Pureblood. They thought you were a Squib, dear, not a Muggle.
*Neville goes on to regale the table with his years of child abuse. Nev, do you think your Gran might have been crying at all because you weren't dead when your uncle dropped you out of the window and not just because you were magic?
*I miss the Percy/Hermione friendship. It's the most believable one she had.
*Harry glances up at the high table and sees Hagrid's drinking. What a shock.
*The banquet will pause for a moment for our first close-up of Snape. Because he's just that badass. Or will be.
*Dumbledore announces the forest is off limits to younger students. Guess Hagrid missed that part because he was passed out drunk. Not that that reflects badly at him. It's only Slytherin students who must be punished for missing instructions, preferably by grievous injury. That'll learn them.
*Percy says it's odd that Dumbledore gives a reason for one of his rules. Funny, I thought "because I say so and my whims are law" was Dumbledore's usual position.
*JKR sticks in another song here that was really unnecessary. Don't let it happen again, please, Ms. Rowling.
*The Weasley Twins remind us again, painfully, that they're the funny ones by singing longer than anyone else.
*Dumbledore joins in, conducting them. The older Slytherins begin instructing the younger ones about Dumbledore's Gryffindor bias, using the twins as an example.
*I really hope something comes of the Baron being the only one who can handle Peeves. It's the only cooperation with Slytherin we ever see.
*Pudgy Neville can't get through the portrait hole. This in no way reflects badly on the pudgy.
*Harry falls asleep his first night at Hogwarts and has his first Malfoy dream. Hurray!
*He also easily links Malfoy to Snape and Voldemort and Quirrel, and with the idea of being forced into Slytherin. If the seventh book parallels the first, I hope this dream somehow shows Harry's not wanting to join with Slytherin is hurting him.
*Actually, Harry does seem to be kind of prophetic here. I suppose he may just be linking Snape to Malfoy because he associates dislike with them both already, but he doesn't yet know Snape's association with Slytherin.
Idiot World
And that's Slytherin, where the Dark Lord's followers will be. We find it's easy to spot them if they're all in the same tie.
Informed Attributes
I'm sorry, did you say Gryffindors were chivalrous? Oh, you mean the antiquated sexist attitudes. Okay.
Misdirected Answering
No really, the Baron/Peeves thing ought to come to something because Peeves is mentioned over and over in this chapter.
"Watermelon, watermelon, cantaloupe, cantaloupe"
"Watermelon, watermelon, Peeves, cantaloupe, cantaloupe, ghosts talking, watermelon, oh, hullo first years, cantaloupe…"
Final score: 4
H/D cliché count: Look at Malfoy swaggering. I'm going to stare at him all through dinner just to remind myself how much I hate him.
Signs of things to come: Hagrid's still drinking, Percy's already pompous and don't be surprised if the Slytherins really do turn out to be unpleasant looking.
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Date: 2006-11-24 10:10 pm (UTC)*Seamus gives the first example of Wizard/Muggle marriages being unfair and unbalanced by explaining his mother didn't tell his father she was a witch until after they were married. You'd think the father would be relieved-he must have previously thought she was insane or mentally challenged given how Wizards handle Muggle stuff generally.
*Neville oddly says his family thought he was all Muggle, given that he's a total Pureblood. They thought you were a Squib, dear, not a Muggle.
I love how the first thing the Gryffindor first years talk about is to compare their wizarding pedigree. But its only the Slytherins who care about blood purity, you know.
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Date: 2006-11-25 01:29 am (UTC)But it's our choices that make us who we are, not our natures!...or something.
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Date: 2006-11-25 08:17 am (UTC)Considering the extent to which Harry and friends have matured over the series, this might actually be a pretty accurate estimate.
*However they did it, remember it's proof that Gryffindor are actually the Underdogs, and that Dumbledore's stunt at the end of the year is completely fair.
However, this isn't because Gryffindor is weak or anything, it's just because the Slytherins are a cunning lot of cheaters. In fact, Griffindor has been losing simply because they haven't had the fortune of having the youngest Seeker in a century! (Indeed, there must have been no decent Seekers in Griffindor since Charlie's time...)
*Actually, Harry does seem to be kind of prophetic here. I suppose he may just be linking Snape to Malfoy because he associates dislike with them both already, but he doesn't yet know Snape's association with Slytherin.
But Snape's "hook-nosed", and Harry knows by now that only Slytherins are so unpleasant.
-G, who returns to lurking.
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Date: 2006-11-25 05:31 pm (UTC)Yeah, like how it was right about Harry being good for Slytherin. I mean, what evidence do we actually have of Harry being like a Slytherin at all? Weaker minds would argue the fact that he sneaks around, but all that is patented by Marauders Inc. and it’s for the greater cause of good. A smarter mind would point out that he used Sectumsempra and used the book to further educational pursuits and get revenge on enemies, but OMG! He didn’t know it was going to nearly kill Draco and so therefore he can completely ignore the fact that he killed someone and not visit the hospital wing or even send an “I’m sorry I had you eviscerated” note. Shit happens, but damn it if I’m going to give up the book or doubt the author of it because he’s cool and makes me look good in class. Flaming Gryffindor and don’t let the pun hit you on the way out.
Dumbledore gets up to say a few words, and they're all nonsense or funny words! Why, that's the genius who likes ten pin bowling, isn't it? How delightful! How many books until he dies again?
T minus five books, promise. I do have to give JK credit for one thing, however. We know for damn sure that he died in book 6, unlike the iffy death of Sirius in book 5. I can sleep at night knowing that house cups will be awarded to the deserving house, professors like drunk ass Hagrid and Slughorn won’t maim/molest students for much longer under the reign of “Is that a student?!” McGonagall, and that I might never have to stay in suspense about a prophecy for two books just for Dumbledore to finally get around and just tell Harry that it’s his ability to love that will save him. This reminds me of Draco talking to Dumbledore from Maya’s ‘Draco Malfoy, Ruler of the Universe‘: "This whole mysterious, things will unfold the way they will unfold, walk into darkness and you shall find a light rubbish!" Draco snapped, glaring. "Where is my magic mystery super weapon of doom?"
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Date: 2006-11-26 03:36 am (UTC)I'm kind of impressed Neville's able to jog to the Gryffindor table with a hat over his face. That Neville, always impressing when you least expect it!
I'm surprised he's able to jog, too, but more because I'd expect Rowling to spend half a paragraph describing how the fat kid huffed and puffed his way there. Could it be restraint I see?
Also, that is one A++ song, SM.
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Date: 2006-11-26 04:47 pm (UTC)I love how the first thing the Gryffindor first years talk about is to compare their wizarding pedigree. But its only the Slytherins who care about blood purity, you know.
I noticed that too! Though of course it's the more friendly version of "so how magic are you?" The type of thing that would have been rude coming from a Slytherin.
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Date: 2006-11-26 04:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-26 04:49 pm (UTC)Exactly. Just as clearly the points they earned this way were cheating too, which is why it's totally right for Dumbledore to make thngs right in the end.
But Snape's "hook-nosed", and Harry knows by now that only Slytherins are so unpleasant.
Good point. That kind of face could only be Sorted into Slytherin.
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Date: 2006-11-26 04:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-26 04:52 pm (UTC)Also, that is one A++ song, SM.
The censored version.:-)
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Date: 2006-11-26 09:10 pm (UTC)Brilliant song, Sister M, can we recruit you for book 7?
You know Draco did check himself out in those gold spoons: after all, it's six more years until any Slytherin but him gets to be described in non-negative terms. Of course, there never really was any doubt which house Bellatrix belonged to... but she could've gone to Durmstrang for all we know, I guess.
I am sorry about the Percy/Hermione friendship, too. I hope that Clearwater is sticking by him! I hope she really really loves him and wouldn't look at his family in the street!
It's totally true that Harry is just as fastened on Malfoy: I mean, half the time he is distracted by life-threatening stuff, but as soon as life-threatening stuff starts happening to Malfoy Malfoy is just as distracted. All those people who think it was all Draco all along need to rethink the boys' schedules.
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Date: 2006-11-26 10:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-27 03:55 am (UTC)The Gryffs haven't won the Quidditich Cup since Charlie was what, 2nd year? Had to be his first year on the team.
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Date: 2006-11-27 01:30 pm (UTC)*Or you're a Gryffindor where, if you're Harry at least, you'll barely recognize half the house and barely speak to those you know but aren't in your group. Just like family!
And just like the Weasley family, you'll be ostracized if you happen to screw up or fall out of line.
Thumbs up for the song, btw.
*Nick says Gryffindor's never gone so long without winning the house cup. I think we're all a little shocked at that, Nick. Must be part of Dumbledore's plan to make Harry love him.
Obviously this doesn't indicate in any form that the Quidditch team isn't the best anyway. Sadly they had to wait for Harry or Ginny to come, they probably didn't bother getting a new Seeker after Charlie left.
*I miss the Percy/Hermione friendship. It's the most believable one she had.
But Percy wouldn't let her look like the only smart person in the world, having had 12 OWLs himself, learning day and night and obviously doing his own homework. Besides, how was she supposed to be the moral center with Percy when he actually cares more about rules than her?
*Harry falls asleep his first night at Hogwarts and has his first Malfoy dream. Hurray!
As much as I squee about any H/D moment, why bother having Harry have a dream when he will not remember it anyway?
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Date: 2006-11-27 01:31 pm (UTC)I think you've just figured out that pesky "gay" thing! You should run for office!
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Date: 2006-11-27 03:03 pm (UTC)LOL. Of course! Everyone's personality is fully formed when they are 11.
We're all just a bunch of 11 year olds running around and pretending to be adults.
Harry stands behind a boy with sandy hair to go into the Sorting. Had this sandy haired boy not turned out to insult Harry's mother later and join his personal army, Harry would still being calling him sandy hair boy seven years later.
He still is the sandy haired boy. Harry didn't give him any further characteristics than a name.
Harry's very nervous remembering how he used to not be picked for teams at school. But not so nervous that he neglects to remember his not being picked wasn't because he wasn't any good but because nobody wanted Dudley to think they liked Harry, which they would have if Dudley hadn't been so omnipotent. Why, the last kid who liked Harry Potter was turned into a codfish! Muggles can't stand up to bullies like Wizards can!
Of course Dudley was the source of Harry's anti-social behavior. Even when he wasn't around, his horrible presence hovered around Harry and prevented him from making friends. Gee, Harry really exults in being a sob story.
The Sorting Hat teases Harry for a while and does not try to put him in Slytherin but simply replies to Harry's own demand to not be in Slytherin, then puts him in Gryffindor.
He had to go to Gryffindor, Hufflepuff already had Cedric. Remember Cedric Diggory!
I miss the Percy/Hermione friendship. It's the most believable one she had.
Yes it was, but since she takes her social cues from Ginny, Harry and Ron, Percy was thrown out like old garbage.
I really hope something comes of the Baron being the only one who can handle Peeves. It's the only cooperation with Slytherin we ever see.
Well, when your house is labeled totally evil, you have appearances to keep up. Ergo, the Baron's evilness is only thing that Peeves is nervous about.
And that's Slytherin, where the Dark Lord's followers will be. We find it's easy to spot them if they're all in the same tie.
They still wear their Slytherin ties during DE hootenannys. Its the only thing they wear under their DE robes. XD Ahhh, yes, reliving the glory days. Every wizard peaks during their Hogwarts years.
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Date: 2009-04-03 01:36 pm (UTC)*Seamus gives the first example of Wizard/Muggle marriages being unfair and unbalanced by explaining his mother didn't tell his father she was a witch until after they were married. You'd think the father would be relieved-he must have previously thought she was insane or mentally challenged given how Wizards handle Muggle stuff generally.
actually, his mother probably raped his father with a LOVE potion!! Giggles!
Wasn't the opening song idiotic? I like to think that the Slytherins refuse to sing it, merely watching as the H, G, R's all stumble over it like animals, singing their own tunes.
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Date: 2009-04-04 02:46 pm (UTC)The school song
Date: 2010-04-27 09:22 pm (UTC)Re: The school song
Date: 2010-04-28 12:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-07-24 02:05 pm (UTC)*McGonagall's in green-emerald green. ESE!
Ridiculous JKR actually wrote an article where she basically said green is an evil colour! I love green. It reminds me of forests.
*McGonagall explains that the Sorting is a very important ceremony, as it will label you for the rest of your life and show how people should treat you forever based on your state of mind this day when you're eleven.
I'm pretty sure children are sorted wherever they want to go. Otherwise its impossible for all Weasleys to have been sorted to Gryffindor.
*Your house will become something like a family while you're at Hogwarts. Except if you're a Slytherin, in which case you'll become part of a menagerie of low lifes.
Nope, evil. EVIL. With a capital E, because they are just that Evil. Lol. It's ridiculous.
*Or you're a Gryffindor where, if you're Harry at least, you'll barely recognize half the house and barely speak to those you know but aren't in your group. Just like family!
I'm pretty bad at remembering names, too.
*Honestly, even having classes with your house…the whole Sorting really is kind of hilarious. Were they worried war would go away and so took steps to ensure more fighting?
I love it though, it makes for lots of Drama. If it was irl they should abolish the House System.
*Any rule breaking will earn a loss of house points. Bwahahaha! Just kidding, Gryffindors. You know I only mean some rule-breaking!
Same is true for Slytherin and the other Houses. Snape is just as unfairly biased as McGonagall and Dumbledore. My sympathy still goes to the Slytherins though since they are the total underdog.
*I love that McGonagall leaves the kids by advising them to worry about what they look like-after all they're going out in front of the entire school to be judged. No Neville, you don't have time to lose weight before the Sorting.
It is not unreasonable to tell them to freshen up. I would expect the same irl.
*The ghosts appear. Several people scream. That high pitched girlie shriek was totally not Draco. Not at all.
Totally was. I think its cute.
*Harry stands behind a boy with sandy hair to go into the Sorting. Had this sandy haired boy not turned out to insult Harry's mother later and join his personal army, Harry would still being calling him sandy hair boy seven years later.
I'm like that, too. On the other hand I don't bother with gossip.
*Gold plates and goblets on the tables. Again-Fuck you, Dursleys!
Yes, fuck them! I really hate them. Don't get why you are so mad Harry is happy to be away from his abuse relatives! The nerve of Harry! They always treated him so well after all.
*Btw, I'm sure this is the real reason Malfoy went to Hogwarts and not Durmstrang. Eastern Europe hasn't discovered gold yet. He might have gotten splinters from the wooden goblets.
??? Where do you hail from stranger?
*Aunt Petunia wouldn't have let the Sorting Hat in the house it was so dirty. I guess that's supposed to reflect badly on Petunia's priorities instead of Wizard's hygiene.
I give you that one. On the other hand I think shabby stuff can be kind of charming, like ruins.
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Date: 2015-07-24 02:08 pm (UTC)You might belong in Gryffindor,
The one most like a frat,
With pantsing, puking pranking jocks
And mean girls into that.
You might belong in Hufflepuff,
No need to wail and sob
Pick up your torch and pitchfork
And join the red shirt mob.
Then there's the House of Ravenclaw,
Most think it's second best
The kids are mostly bland but cute
The house of "all the rest."
Or you'll be in Slytherin
If you're racist and uncouth
They're ugly, stupid racist chaps
The blueblood Hitler Youth.
I think Slytherin was really described negatively, especially compared to Gryffindor. No surprise to know that the hat belonged to Gryffindor originally.
Another thing, Slytherin is always listed last and Gryffindor first, but the tables on the Great Hall have Slytherin left and Gryffindor right. I wonder why this is? Certainly not because its symbolic for the righteousness of the Gryffindors and the evilness of the Slytherins.
*Harry's very nervous remembering how he used to not be picked for teams at school. But not so nervous that he neglects to remember his not being picked wasn't because he wasn't any good but because nobody wanted Dudley to think they liked Harry, which they would have if Dudley hadn't been so omnipotent. Why, the last kid who liked Harry Potter was turned into a codfish! Muggles can't stand up to bullies like Wizards can!
Harry has practice running from Dudley. You defending the Dursleys even when they are in the wrong is seriously annoying. And attacking Harry at every turn, no matter what. I get that you hate Harry, but no need to be unreasonable about it. I don't think Draco is all sunshine and daisies either, but at least I cut him some slack.