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deathtocapslockHarry takes some of that new, super-strength DH Polyjuice that lasts for several hours. He now looks like a Weasley cousin, even though Fred stole the hair from a local non-magical boy. This makes me wonder if, besides the accountant cousin, there are other non-magical Weasley relatives the family doesn’t know about, or at least acknowledge.
Harry, Ron, Fred, and George act as ushers for the wedding, which also has a purple and gold theme. Delusions of grandeur, Weasleys? Fred says that when he marries, he’ll put his mother in a full Body-Bind Curse until it’s over so she can’t take over the festivities. A Gryffindor? Wanting to curse? His mother? But--but--I thought only Slytherins and other baddies did curses, which, according to JKR’s own website, are always Dark magic. Even the Slytherins we’ve seen don’t curse their own mothers.
Of course, this nit-picking is just my attempt to put off the inevitable, which is the acknowledgment that--that--poor Fred isn’t going to have a wedding! He’s going to die in the Battle of Hogwarts! Boo hoo hoo!
Tonks and Lupin arrive, and Lupin looks miserable again. No doubt he can’t attend anybody’s wedding without thinking of (1) the one he was forced into, and (2) the lost love he really wanted to marry.
The Lovegoods arrive in matching bright yellow outfits. We’re supposed to believe their costumes are outlandishly garish, but given the description of the over-the-top decorations, I thought they fit right in.
The Weasleys’ patented Eccentric Relative arrives in the person of 107-year-old Auntie Muriel. I know she’s a plot-dumping stereotype, but I liked her anyway because she says the things we snarky readers are thinking. She’s what Snape would probably be like if he lived that long. She says the Weasleys “breed like gnomes,” and that Harry looks gormless in his press photos.
Hermione arrives in a lavender dress, which is an interesting choice, given that she wants Ron to forget about Lavender Brown. (I’m now wondering if Lavender’s name was ripped off from “Amber Brown,” the title character in another children’s book series.) No doubt she was trying to match the decor, but she could have done that in other colors.
Ron says Muriel is “a nightmare,” which I guess she is if you don’t like the plain speaking of truth to power. George says he wishes their Uncle Bilius was still around because he was so much fun at weddings, although he did go “a bit odd toward the end.” Fred agrees, cheerfully adding that before Bilius lost his mind, he would drink an entire bottle of firewhisky, then head for the dance floor, yank up his robes, and start pulling bunches of flowers out of his [ass]. Harry also thinks this is hilarious.
Bilius was obviously a severe alcoholic: His behavior is characteristic of a drunk who has completely lost control. Rather than losing his mind, his mental problems must have been the result of brain damage caused by his addiction. This is an ugly, heartbreaking story, yet we are supposed to regard it as hysterically funny. The only good thing I can see about it is that, as a wizard, Bilius probably wouldn’t have driven drunk.
Of course, the twins, Ron, and Harry are all teenagers, and not particularly sensitive or compassionate ones at that, so this kind of attitude can be expected from them. But what’s Rowling’s excuse? She is not only an adult; she’s writing a book for children that she knows is going to be highly influential on her young audience. This is one of many things (Harry’s Cruciatus, Hermione’s mind-rape, Albus’s setting Harry and Severus up to die) that should not have been put in DH because of the negative impact its inclusion could be expected to have on impressionable readers. It is flat-out inexcusable for Rowling to have her role-model protagonists either engaging in or approving of such callous behaviors. No one with either empathy or the ability to gauge the consequences of her actions on her public would have even written such things, let alone allowed them to be included in her published book.
Joanne Rowling, meet Laurie King. She is another best-selling, overrated hack who regards alcoholism and its worst effects, including blackouts and multi-day drinking binges, as the height of hilarity. You heartless, shallow teenagers can go sit in the corner and amuse yourselves with your sick humor. We adults will continue the conversation elsewhere.
Viktor Krum show up and inserts some foreshadowing about the Deathly Hallows symbol and its association with Dark magic. He also shows an interest in Hermione, which Harry discourages with a lie about her big bruiser of a boyfriend. Um, even if this were true, why would it matter? Physical size has nothing to do with magical power.
After the wedding, Harry notices Elphias Stooge Doge and sits down at his table. They start talking about their mutual obsession, Dumbledore. Doge says he knew Albus longer than anyone, “if you don’t count Aberforth--and somehow, people never do seem to count Aberforth.” Well, of course not, Elphi. You can be damned sure Albus made certain his brother “never counted,” not at school, in society, or in the family. Such greatness as his cannot be allowed to have competition. Doge is assuring Harry that Rita Skeeter is full of it when Muriel shows up and starts spilling the [magic] beans regarding The Truth about Dumbledore. Dum dum dum!!!
She cheerfully informs Harry about the juiciest gossip regarding the Family Dumbledore: Albus murdered his Squib sister, Ariana. She was hidden away in the cellar and never mentioned because the family was ashamed of her. Mom Kendra was a battle axe who would have been humiliated by a Squib child. Doge tries to defend his friend, insisting Ariana was kept at home because she was “too delicate” to mix in society, but Muriel rides roughshod over his feeble protests. She asserts her cousin was a healer at St. Mungo’s, but he never heard of Ariana’s being treated there,
To his credit, Harry realizes how closely Ariana’s alleged story parallels his. He’s so upset he goes numb as he imagines St. Albus abandoning his sister to a life of abuse and neglect while Albus skipped merrily off to Hogwarts and His Brilliant Career.
Why does this surprise you, Harry? That’s what he did to you.
Muriel continues cheerily on, suggesting Ariana may have murdered Kendra while trying to escape her prison. Then she recounts the story of the brotherly brawl at Ariana’s funeral in which Aberforth broke Albus’s nose while Albus refused to defend himself. She finishes with the revelation that famed historian Bathilda Bagshot was a friend of the family and still lives in Godric’s Hollow.
This causes Harry to start angsting again, this time about the geographic connection between his family and Dumbledore’s that his idol never mentioned. He concludes, rightly, that he was lied to by omission. He’s still obsessing over that when Kingsley’s Patronus arrives and tells everyone the DEs have taken over the Ministry, killed the Minister of Magic, and are heading for the wedding.
Sorry, Harry, your shock and disappointment will have to wait awhile. Survival comes first.
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Date: 2013-03-25 01:55 am (UTC)Uncle Bilius may not have driven drunk, but he easily could have flown or Apparated drunk. And did anyone ever say how he actually died? He "saw the Grim" a week beforehand, but then what? Apparated into a wall, maybe? Crashed his broom into a tree? Or passed out and chocked on vomit, or... well, there's a lot of possibilities. Which Molly may not have ever accurately recounted to the kids, for that matter.
Wasn't the color scheme at the Quidditch World Cup purple and gold also? Maybe that's just the default British WW color scheme for "major celebration." Though it could have become popular back in the day as a sign that "we all live like royalty because we're so awesome and magical," maybe.
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Date: 2013-03-26 01:37 pm (UTC)Well, it WAS the same color scheme that they used for Harry's birthday in just the last chapter or so.....I would guess they were reusing the decorations if not for the fact that they could presumably change the colors if they wanted.
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Date: 2013-03-26 01:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-03-25 02:58 am (UTC)I like Aunt Muriel. She's the most realistic part of the chapter. She says what she's thinking and criticizes the Chosen One. Go her.
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Date: 2013-03-25 04:00 am (UTC)I guess. That's the only one I've ever heard of.
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Date: 2013-03-26 11:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-03-25 03:53 pm (UTC)Because Arthur found Muggle women so fascinating? Did he have to check if all their parts can work without magic?
Ron says Muriel is “a nightmare,” which I guess she is if you don’t like the plain speaking of truth to power.
He once called Hermione a nightmare too. Is this going anywhere?
She cheerfully informs Harry about the juiciest gossip regarding the Family Dumbledore: Albus murdered his Squib sister, Ariana.
Since in this canon the less sympathetic a character is meant to be the more likely it is to be saying the truth, I'll go with this. It was Albus' curse that killed Ariana, not-entirely-quite accidentally. He only had two witnesses to shut up, not so hard to do.
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Date: 2013-03-26 12:48 am (UTC)Interesting that it seems to work that way.
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Date: 2013-03-28 01:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-03-26 01:44 am (UTC)Well, no, Hermione did put Neville in a full Body-Bind Curse in first-year. Or is this another sign of curses not being taken seriously anymore in this book?
/Tonks and Lupin arrive, and Lupin looks miserable again./
Again, *what* is JKR trying to say here? That Remus, no matter how fortunate he is to be in a relationship with someone who loves him despite the fact that he’s a werewolf, is still miserable? If you want to show that Remus loves Tonks, why don’t you have him actually be happy with her for once?
/which Harry discourages with a lie about her big bruiser of a boyfriend. Um, even if this were true, why would it matter? Physical size has nothing to do with magical power./
If you were to take Hogwarts literally as a magical school, rather than an allegory of boarding schools in general, then the whole social order doesn’t make much sense. This is a school that teaches magic, something that allegedly requires careful study and memorization and has nothing to do with physical prowess. Yet Crabbe and Goyle are supposed to be Draco’s bodyguards, despite the fact that they were regarded as stupid before DH, because of their size. Athletes are treated the same way as they are in Muggle schools. If magic has nothing to do with physical strength and the most proficient at magic are considered the most brilliant students, then theoretically, the *nerds* would be in charge. They would be the kings and queens of the status quo.
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Date: 2013-03-26 02:56 am (UTC)Viktor? A big bruiser? I wonder when he bulked up: when his character appears at the Quidditch World Cup he's described as thin.
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Date: 2013-03-26 05:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-03-26 11:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-03-27 01:08 am (UTC)It's not that I think it would be right to use Krum like that but "noble and self sacrificing" Harry was supposedly trying to keep his beloved safe.
But I suppose he and his chest monster would consider it better for Ginny to be kidnapped by DE then to see her dance with another boy.
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Date: 2013-03-27 09:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-03-27 10:12 pm (UTC)IIRC, when Viktor express interest in Ginny, Harry (as a random Weasley cousin) tells him that Ginny is in a relationships with a "big bruiser". He said it to scare Viktor off.
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Date: 2013-03-30 02:04 am (UTC)I remember that moment so clearly. After wading through everything up to that point, and being quite nauseated by all, especially all the obnoxious wedding stuff, I was screaming, "Yes! Yes! Hurry up and kill them all! Please!"