deathtocapslock | HBP Chapter Fifteen: "The Unbreakable Vow"

* It seems that everywhere Harry goes, girls congregate under sprigs of mistletoe in such numbers that they block the corridors off. Ahh, such a burden it is, being the Boy Who Lived.

* Ron’s still got scratches from Hermione’s bird-attack a few days later. Remember though all you fanficcers, Ron’s clearly going to be the abusive one in this relationship.

* Actually, Ron’s right: Hermione is being kind of hypocritical here. Better not let her hear it, though, or she might get out the attack canaries again.

* Neither Harry nor Hermione seem particularly shocked to discover that a gang of girls are essentially going to try and date-rape him. Once again, I throw my hands up at the bizarre system of ethics the wizarding world seems to have.

* Of course, if you can sneak love potions into school disguised as cough medicine, you could probably sneak poison in the same way. Perhaps Malfoy came to the same conclusion, hence his poison!mead plot later in the year.

* Not that Harry or Hermione will ever think of pointing out this security loophole to Dumbledore, of course.

* Incidentally, a really sensible junior Death Eater could just smuggle in a muggle weapon like a gun. No magic detector would be able to pick it up.

* Madam Pince’s reaction to seeing the Prince’s book seems a bit OTT, especially since there must be a spell to remove the writing. Maybe she’s an ex-Slytherin, and still likes to go into big theatrics every now and again.

* Harry and Hermione return to the common room arguing over whether or not Pince and Filch have something going on, which is clearly a more interesting and worthy topic of discussion that the attempted murder last week.

* “Luna was demonstrating her usual knack of speaking uncomfortable truths,” whilst JK Rowling was demonstrating her usual flaw of telling rather than showing.

* Incidentally, I don’t think Ron’s actually that unkind by wizarding standards, and certainly not compared to Hermione or even Harry. Lazy, whiney and irritating, sure, but he’s never disfigured anybody’s face or (as far as we know) fantasised about torturing his teachers. Maybe Luna’s been hearing a lot from Hermione recently about how upset she is by Ron, and this has affected her views of him.

* Harry asks Luna to the party, and hastily adds that he just wants to go as friends. As if there was ever any danger of the Chosen One deigning to go out with an inexperienced wimp like her. Come back when you’ve bat-bogied a few people and snogged some other boy a few times, then you might be worthy of Harry’s attentions.

* A gaggle of girls is standing excitedly next to the vampire, because the girls in Hogwarts are all stupid and air-headed and just the sort of people to go out with a blood-sucking monster. It’s all part of the books’ arguments against bigotry, no doubt.

* Man, what’s with all the Zach Smith hatred going around? Harry’s “revolted” that Hermione thought of asking him to the party, so much so that he even starts speaking in italics. What, is questioning Harry’s judgement really such an unforgivable crime?

* Frankly, I wouldn’t put it past Hermione to tell Ron how he really made the quidditch team.

* I wish JKR didn’t try and make Luna seem funnier by having Harry think how funny she is. If Luna says anything funny, we readers can see that for ourselves; if not, having Harry laugh doesn’t make it more funny, it just makes Harry look slightly weird.

* I’m surprised Malfoy doesn’t have more admirers, with that consumptive Romantic poet look he’s got going on.

* So Harry overhears Snape and Malfoy talking, and discovers that Snape suspects Draco of having had a hand in the Katie Bell affair, that Draco’s been in contact with a known Death Eater, that his “master” has set him some task the completion of which will bring great glory to Malfoy, and that he doesn’t think he’s in any danger from practitioners of the Dark Arts. Surely now somebody will take Harry seriously and help him investigate, right? Right?