HBP Chapter Eighteen: "Birthday Surprises"

[for-diddled.livejournal.com]

* Hermione’s still refusing to stay with Ron “for longer than it took to give him a contemptuous look”. For Heaven’s sake, Hermione, get the flip over it. You’re almost an adult now – in fact in a lot of societies you would be considered a fully-fledged adult – and if that isn’t enough to make you show some maturity, you’re currently in the middle of a war against the most powerful dark wizard in a century. Get a bit of perspective, you stupid girl.

* Also I’m surprised she hasn’t just slipped Ron some love potion. A girl who’s capable of mind-wiping her parents and sending them to the other side of the world would be perfectly capable of slipping some amortentia into her intended’s pumpkin juice… for his own good, of course.

* Although I’m even more surprised she actually wants to go out with Ron in the first place. The two don’t seem to have any real shared interests or hobbies, they never seem to get on with each other or enjoy each other’s company, and Ron is never described as being particularly attractive, so we can’t even go with the “shallow girl wants to go out with school hottie” explanation.

* Harry remembers what a bezoar is because Snape mentioned it in their first Potions lesson. I know I’ve mentioned it before, but things like this really bug me. In the books, bezoars were last mentioned in Harry’s first Potions lesson; IRL, they’d have surely come up more recently than that, and Harry wouldn’t have to go back six years to know what they are, even if he could remember what happened so long ago. Bringing up the stuff in PS just makes it look as if the world or characters have no existence outside of what we’re shown directly, which is the last effect any writer should want to produce.

* Harry wouldn’t have dared try his bezoar trick on Snape, because Snape’s an evil meanie who makes his students’ lives a misery by expecting them to actually learn stuff and do the work he sets, rather than cutting corners and cheating all the time.

* Eh, I don’t think knowing that a bezoar will cure poisons shows “individual spirit” or an “intuitive grasp of potion-making”, any more than knowing that aspirin cures headaches shows an intuitive grasp of medicine or human biology.

* So Slughorn’s not even going to look at Hermione’s fifty-two ingredient potion then? Poor Hermione. No wonder she’s so annoyed.

* Harry “remind[s] himself irresistibly of Voldemort” when he asks Slughorn for information. I’m not sure why the resemblance hits him now, and not when he crucioes a man in DH. Or when a girl gets permanently disfigured for telling a teacher about Harry’s study group. Or when he fantasises about Snape getting tortured.

* Although knowing how attracted Harry is to the dark arts, he’s probably enjoying the comparison.

* Harry asks Slughorn about horcruxes, and Slughorn completely freaks out, like he’s wracked with guilt for something terrible he’s done. Not that he’s actually done anything terrible, of course, that’d be far too interesting.

* Although I’m not sure why horcruxes are seen as such a terrible subject. C’mon, can you think of a society which seems like it would be less blasé about splitting up your soul than the wizarding world?

* Ron’s still wincing on hearing the name “Voldemort”. Kind of like how sixteen-year-old muggles wince on hearing the name “Hitler”. Or not.

* Seriously, what is up with the He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named rubbish? Especially since Ron grew up after Voldemort had been defeated, when he was no longer a threat.

* “Look, I had to try and soften him up so I could ask him about Voldemort, didn’t I?” Yes, Harry, I’m sure your cheating was entirely for the greater good, and nothing at all about maintaining your underserved reputation as a great Potions whizz.

* “I’ve been right through the restricted section and even in the most horrible books, where they tell you how to brew the most gruesome potions.” Don’t try and fool us, Hermione, it’s obvious you secretly enjoyed reading about them. Incidentally, was it really necessary to take out Magick Moste Evile and carry it around with you? (Well, I suppose it might be if it’s not just horcruxes you’re interested in…)

* Harry wonders whether the instructor’s whispy build is due to him apparating so much. Maybe, Harry. Or maybe he just happens to be really skinny and frail-looking. Some people are, you know.

* So the kids aren’t really taught, just given some vague instructions and left to struggle for an hour. That seems… kind of inefficient, really. No wonder everybody apparently has trouble learning, if this is the way they’re taught.

* So Harry spends all his spare time wondering what Malfoy’s doing, looking for Malfoy on his map, going into the toilets to think about Malfoy… the slash fiction jokes pretty much write themselves, don’t they? :p

* Harry doesn’t bother telling Lavender that Ron’s been drugged, because that would be far too sensible.

* Love potions can become stronger the longer you leave them. Yeah, I’m sure that couldn’t cause any problems at all.

* Ron gets poisoned, and Slughorn, like all adults in this series, stand around and does nothing while Harry saves the day. Colour me surprised.

Comments

[sunnyskywalker]

If his alarms had indicated real DEs, he probably would have just Apparated away to a pre-planned safe spot - part of the drill. The Dark Mark bit is one of those JKR fuzzy spots: we're introduced to it as special dark magic only the DEs learn, and never once hear about it being faked... but apparently any decently talented wizard should be able to fake it, at least well enough to pass a cursory inspection? Or was Dumbledore actually saying that Slughorn's little scene would never fool anyone because he couldn't have faked a Dark Mark, and Slughorn was not saying he'd actually forgotten to cast a fake at that moment, but more like "oh rats, you caught the flaw in my plan"?

We do seem him dueling in DH - after taking some time to regroup and prepare, though. And we see him giving assignments to NEWT classes like "make me something interesting," which sounds like it ought to have produced dangerous results at least once in the last seventy-ish years, from accidental poisoning (or poisonous fumes) to explosions. Though maybe only lets the advanced students do anything that dangerous and so it doesn't happen as often. And being in class is still a situation he could have prepared in advance for.

So maybe just the setting threw him - he's in his quarters, at night, serving up something he bought, and poison hadn't crossed his mind. As long as it's a situation he's had time to prepare for, he's fine. If Ron had been poisoned in class, it might have triggered Slughorn's "help student who's ingested/inhaled some dangerous potion" programs, as it were, and he would have gone straight for the bezoar.