Harry Potter Abridged! OotP Chapter 12
Dec. 18th, 2013 03:27 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
sweettalkeress.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
deathtocapslock[The next morning, Seamus wakes up early and leaves before anyone else has gotten out of bed.]
Harry: WAAAAAH! Why is Seamus so scared to be around meeeeee?!
Dean: You…you really have to ask…? [Leaves]
Ron: Don’t worry, Harry—soon he’ll see how right you are about everything!
Harry: Yeah, you’re right about that.
[They go out to meet Hermione]
Hermione: Harry, Ron! Come quick! Fred and George are making trouble again!
Ron: How so?
Hermione: They’re offering galleons to people. That can only mean one thing: human experimentation.
Ron: Yeah, so?
Hermione: You have to ask that?!
Ron: But experimenting on people is awesome as long as nobody gets hurt! Besides, Fred and George can always experiment on bad people. It’ll be their contribution to the cause!
Hermione: Even so, it’s our job to stop them. [to Harry] Anyway, you don’t look so good.
Ron: It’s because that big meanie Seamus won’t believe Harry’s side of the story about what happened with You-Know-Who last year!
Hermione: Yeah, it’s the same with Lavender Brown.
Harry: What?! Hermione, how dare you take her side?!
Hermione: I didn’t do it! Honest! I told her how wrong she was about you and everything! Honestly, you really think I would ever mistrust you about this?!
Harry: Oh, okay. I feel better now.
Hermione: By the way, I’d just like to give you a drive-by Dumbledore quote.
Harry: …DUMBLEDORE?! WHERE?! [Melts into puddle of goo]
Hermione: …As I was saying, last year Dumbledore distinctly said that “I'd just like to close by saying that dark and difficult times lie ahead, and soon we must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy.”
Ron: Wow. That’s amazing. However did you remember that?
Hermione: I was listening to him, that’s how!
Ron: That’s supposed to explain how you can quote him word for word?*
Hermione: …Ehehehe…. Ahem, anyway, I agree with the Sorting Hat when it says to stand together and stuff. Yeah.
Ron: But…but…that means we have to work with the slimy Slytherins!
Hermione: There are worse things in life.
[They exit the Gryffindor common room and see a group of young Ravenclaws, who hurry away when they see Harry]
Harry: Worse than being friendly with people who are scared of me and hate me for no reason at all?!
Hermione: Not this shit again….
Harry: Well…hey, isn’t it strange that Hagrid’s gone missing? And that Dumbledore didn’t even say anything about it?
Hermione: Maybe…Dumbledore hoped we wouldn’t notice if he kept quiet?
Ron: But how could we expect to not notice? Does he think we’re complete morons?
Harry: How dare you! My angel loves every single one of us from the bottom of his heart and only thinks the best of us!
[They run into Angelina in the Great Hall]
Angelina: Did you know I’ve been made captain of the Quidditch team? And also that I’m black?
Harry: Sure….
Angelina: I’d just like to drop a bit of foreshadowing and say that we’re going to need a new keeper now that Wood’s gone. I wonder who it will be….
[When mail arrives, Hermione gets a Daily Prophet]
Harry: How dare you! That newspaper says mean things about me!
Hermione: Yes, but it’s useful to know exactly WHAT it’s saying.
Ron: Oh, look—our first class with Doris Rumbridge is today! After we take lessons with Snape!
Fred: Do you want some cheap candy we made that gives people nosebleeds?
Ron: Why is it so cheap?
George: Because there’s no cure yet!
Ron: Aah! No thanks—I choose life!
Hermione: By the way, is that why you put that sign on the notice board?
George: Why yes. Why?
Hermione: Because it’s against the rules.
George: So what?
Hermione: What do you mean so what? I’m a prefect—I have the right to enforce school rules. As does Ron—right, Ron?
Ron: No fair—you can’t turn me against my family!
George: But seriously, if our snacks don’t make you sick OWL exams will.
Fred: I’m so glad we no longer have to worry about exams, because we’ve already got it made. Hint hint.
Harry: Hey! Leave me out of this!
Hermione: What’s all that about?
Fred: We’re going to be opening a joke shop soon!
Hermione: But where ever did you get the money?
Fred: It’s super top secret! But don’t worry, we’ll be churning out plot devices like there’s no tomorrow soon enough. Even you’ll be impressed.
Hermione: Hmph—I’ll believe that when I see it!
[Fred and George leave]
Ron: By the way, don’t we have career advice this year? I think I’d like to be an Auror. I don’t know if I’m good enough, though.
Harry: You know, if you have to ask….
Ron: Oh shut your mouth!
[They go to History of Magic…]
Hermione: What if I refused to allow you to copy my notes this year?
Ron: You wouldn’t.
Hermione: Oh, yes I would! Do your own work!
Ron: It’s not our fault you’re smarter than we are!
Hermione: Oooh, yes, stroke my ego moooo—I mean, that’s no excuse not to at least try!
Ron: If you don’t let me copy your notes I won’t marry you!
Hermione: The things I have to put up with….
[On the way to Potions, they come across Cho Chang!]
Harry: Hello Cho! You’re looking lovely this morning!
Cho: And you’re looking slightly less dorky than the last time I saw you!
Harry: Aww, you’re too kind! So…how was your summer?
Cho: Remember that this was the summer after my boyfriend died?
Harry: Oh, yeah! How tactless of me! Durrhurr! …Wait…you don’t…actually think his death affected you more than me, do you?
Cho: So what if it did? He was my boyfriend.
Harry: But…but…I’m—
Ron: Cho! You have a Tornadoes badge on your chest! How dare you! As a life-long Chudley Cannons supporter, I accuse you of jumping on the bandwagon now that they’re winning!
Cho: But I’ve always been a fan of the Tornadoes! Honest! Ever since I was six!
Ron: I don’t believe you!
Cho: …Whatever, I have to get to class…. [Departs]
Hermione: You just had to, didn’t you…?
Ron: Hey, I made Harry look like less of an insensitive jerk. You both ought to be grateful.
Harry: My friends make me look like such an idiot in front of a hot chick! WAAAAAAH! How dare you when she’s one of the only people besides you who doesn’t think I’m an insane murderer who was directly responsible for Cedric’s death!
[They go to Potions…]
Snape: So, just for your information, you all have an exam to complete this spring, and if you can’t do it well enough I will be very…very…very…annoyed. Navel.
Neville: Why does he keep picking on me again? Also my name is Neville….
Harry: Maybe if my grades continue to be less-than-spectacular I’ll get to stop taking Snape’s class once and for all?
Snape: I heard that! Anyway, today you will be making the Draught of Peace. Proceed.
[They make their potions…]
Harry: WAAAAAH! This potion is haaaaard and isn’t doing what I tell it to!
Snape: By the way, Harry, your potion is missing something.
Harry: Why do you have to be so mean about it?!
Snape: Do you even know what your potion is missing?
Harry: It’s missing Hellebore, okay! Now go be a jerk to Navel or someone else who deserves it more than I do!
Neville: I heard that!
Snape: I don’t think so. [Vanishes potion] If you want to get a bad grade so you don’t have to take classes with me anymore you’re on the right track.
[After class…]
Harry: Snape is so MEAN to me!
Hermione: Yes, he’s very very mean to you. Makes you wonder why, since he’s in the Order and everything.
Ron: I still say he’s a bad person at heart.
Hermione: You don’t know that. Dumbledore trusts him, after all.
Ron: Maybe Dumbledore made a mistake?
Harry: How dare you argue about whether or not Dumbledore made a mistake in my presence! The only thing you should be arguing about in my presence is how oppressed I am! I’m leaving! [Walks out]
[Harry eventually catches up to Ron in Divination]
Ron: So, I’ve stopped arguing with Hermione, but you realize you’ve been taking out your temper on us a lot lately.
Harry: I’ll take out my temper on whomever I damn well please because I suffer more than anyone else!
Ron: This will get you in trouble one day….
Trelawney: So today we’re going to be practicing dream interpretation.
[They divide into pairs]
Neville: So the other night, I had a dream that I was being chased by a pair of scissors with a vagina and my grandmother’s hat. And then they cut through a giant snake and a phallic-looking cactus.
Dean: You poor, poor bastard.
Ron: Oddly enough, I had a dream I was playing Quidditch.
Harry: It probably means you’re going to die. That’s what all dreams mean, after all.
[And last but not least, they go to Umbridge’s class!]
Umbridge: So, today I’m going to demonstrate how unrepentantly evil—I mean, tough but fair I am by telling you to put away your precious wands and write something.
Students: Booooooooo!
Umbridge: This class is approved by the Ministry, so you know it’s bad.
Students: Waaaaaaaaah!
Umbridge: And just to top off how evil I am, we’re going to spend the first lesson reading Chapter 1 of your textbook! Bwahahahaha!
Students: Nooooooooo!
Umbridge: Wait until next week when I ask you to solve…a practice problem!
Students: Aaaaaaaaaaaah!
Umbridge: But for now, read. Teenagers should be seen and not heard, I always say.
[They try to read, but nobody can]
Harry: Hey, look! Hermione isn’t reading!
Hermione: [Waves hand in air] Professor Umbridge! Professor Umbridge!
Umbridge: Oh, it’s you. What do you want, brat girl?
Hermione: Do you actually intend for us to use defensive spells at any point in this class?
Umbridge: Eh…no.
Ron: BWAH?! You can’t be serious!
Umbridge: Oh, but I am.
Hermione: But I don’t understand—isn’t self-defense the entire point of this class?
Umbridge: No. The entire point of this class is to give me a vehicle for acting out my sadistic desires—ah, I mean, the entire point of this class is to learn according to Ministry standards, which don’t cover practicing the spells themselves.
Harry: But what good are Ministry standards if we’re going to be attacked?
Umbridge: And may I ask what makes you think you WILL be attacked?
Dean: We could.
Umbridge: Well, it seems to me that the way this class was run previously, your teachers were far more dangerous than anything you’d be likely to encounter day to day anywhere else. I mean, one of them was a werewolf. And did I mention I’m racist against werewolves?
Dean: I’ll say you are, considering he was the best professor we ever had!
Umbridge: Does it not faze you that someone performed dark spells on you when you were just fourteen years old? And that this just happened last year?
Dean: Yes, well, that professor was insane. But he was awesome too so it’s okay.
Umbridge: Yes, but cavorting with werewolves and insane people won’t get you good grades on your exam.
Parvati: But there’s a practical part of the exam too! Where will we be if we can’t do the practical stuff?
Umbridge: We can always just change the rules so there will be no practical!
Harry: You want us to be completely defenseless against the evil dark forces that would devour us?!
Umbridge: As a matter of fact—that is to say, what evil dark forces are you talking about?
Harry: Lord Voldemort, of course! He’s back, or haven’t you noticed!
Umbridge: No he’s not.
Harry: Yes he is!
Umbridge: Is not!
Harry: Is too!
Umbridge: Lalalalalalalala I’m not listening! The return of Voldemort is a stupid lie!
Harry: It is not a lie! I saw him!
Umbridge: It’s a lie, it’s a lie, it’s a lie, it’s a lie, it’s a lie!
Harry: IT IS NOT! YOU’RE THE ONE WHO’S LYING!
Umbridge: How dare you capslock at me! Just for that, I’m putting you in detention every night until I’ve broken your spirit with my evil torture devices—I mean, made you my obedient little—I mean…oh, no! He’s forced my hand! Now everyone will know what an evil monster I am!
Harry: Damn right you’re an evil monster! You’re insulting the good memory of Cedric Diggory by implying that he was killed by anyone less than the Dark Lord himself!
Umbridge: Harry, come here.
Harry: Oh! OH! You want a piece of me? You just come and get it, you evil disgusting monster!
Umbridge: [Writes something on pink paper] Take this to Professor McGonagall.
[Harry complies]
Harry: Professor McGonagall will save me.
Professor McGonagall: This is completely out of nowhere, but have some cookies.
Harry: Thank you, but why?
Professor McGonagall: Just in case they’re the last goodies you ever have.
Harry: …What?
Professor McGonagall: Professor Umbridge is an evil maniac with the Ministry behind her. You’re in big trouble now, and the more fights you start with her the worse things are going to get.
Harry: Can’t you help me?
Professor McGonagall: Unfortunately I can’t do anything about your detentions. I suggest you find yourself a supportive girlfriend who loves broken men with scars.
Harry: Oh no….
*Before anyone asks, yes this was in the text of the book itself!
Harry: WAAAAAH! Why is Seamus so scared to be around meeeeee?!
Dean: You…you really have to ask…? [Leaves]
Ron: Don’t worry, Harry—soon he’ll see how right you are about everything!
Harry: Yeah, you’re right about that.
[They go out to meet Hermione]
Hermione: Harry, Ron! Come quick! Fred and George are making trouble again!
Ron: How so?
Hermione: They’re offering galleons to people. That can only mean one thing: human experimentation.
Ron: Yeah, so?
Hermione: You have to ask that?!
Ron: But experimenting on people is awesome as long as nobody gets hurt! Besides, Fred and George can always experiment on bad people. It’ll be their contribution to the cause!
Hermione: Even so, it’s our job to stop them. [to Harry] Anyway, you don’t look so good.
Ron: It’s because that big meanie Seamus won’t believe Harry’s side of the story about what happened with You-Know-Who last year!
Hermione: Yeah, it’s the same with Lavender Brown.
Harry: What?! Hermione, how dare you take her side?!
Hermione: I didn’t do it! Honest! I told her how wrong she was about you and everything! Honestly, you really think I would ever mistrust you about this?!
Harry: Oh, okay. I feel better now.
Hermione: By the way, I’d just like to give you a drive-by Dumbledore quote.
Harry: …DUMBLEDORE?! WHERE?! [Melts into puddle of goo]
Hermione: …As I was saying, last year Dumbledore distinctly said that “I'd just like to close by saying that dark and difficult times lie ahead, and soon we must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy.”
Ron: Wow. That’s amazing. However did you remember that?
Hermione: I was listening to him, that’s how!
Ron: That’s supposed to explain how you can quote him word for word?*
Hermione: …Ehehehe…. Ahem, anyway, I agree with the Sorting Hat when it says to stand together and stuff. Yeah.
Ron: But…but…that means we have to work with the slimy Slytherins!
Hermione: There are worse things in life.
[They exit the Gryffindor common room and see a group of young Ravenclaws, who hurry away when they see Harry]
Harry: Worse than being friendly with people who are scared of me and hate me for no reason at all?!
Hermione: Not this shit again….
Harry: Well…hey, isn’t it strange that Hagrid’s gone missing? And that Dumbledore didn’t even say anything about it?
Hermione: Maybe…Dumbledore hoped we wouldn’t notice if he kept quiet?
Ron: But how could we expect to not notice? Does he think we’re complete morons?
Harry: How dare you! My angel loves every single one of us from the bottom of his heart and only thinks the best of us!
[They run into Angelina in the Great Hall]
Angelina: Did you know I’ve been made captain of the Quidditch team? And also that I’m black?
Harry: Sure….
Angelina: I’d just like to drop a bit of foreshadowing and say that we’re going to need a new keeper now that Wood’s gone. I wonder who it will be….
[When mail arrives, Hermione gets a Daily Prophet]
Harry: How dare you! That newspaper says mean things about me!
Hermione: Yes, but it’s useful to know exactly WHAT it’s saying.
Ron: Oh, look—our first class with Doris Rumbridge is today! After we take lessons with Snape!
Fred: Do you want some cheap candy we made that gives people nosebleeds?
Ron: Why is it so cheap?
George: Because there’s no cure yet!
Ron: Aah! No thanks—I choose life!
Hermione: By the way, is that why you put that sign on the notice board?
George: Why yes. Why?
Hermione: Because it’s against the rules.
George: So what?
Hermione: What do you mean so what? I’m a prefect—I have the right to enforce school rules. As does Ron—right, Ron?
Ron: No fair—you can’t turn me against my family!
George: But seriously, if our snacks don’t make you sick OWL exams will.
Fred: I’m so glad we no longer have to worry about exams, because we’ve already got it made. Hint hint.
Harry: Hey! Leave me out of this!
Hermione: What’s all that about?
Fred: We’re going to be opening a joke shop soon!
Hermione: But where ever did you get the money?
Fred: It’s super top secret! But don’t worry, we’ll be churning out plot devices like there’s no tomorrow soon enough. Even you’ll be impressed.
Hermione: Hmph—I’ll believe that when I see it!
[Fred and George leave]
Ron: By the way, don’t we have career advice this year? I think I’d like to be an Auror. I don’t know if I’m good enough, though.
Harry: You know, if you have to ask….
Ron: Oh shut your mouth!
[They go to History of Magic…]
Hermione: What if I refused to allow you to copy my notes this year?
Ron: You wouldn’t.
Hermione: Oh, yes I would! Do your own work!
Ron: It’s not our fault you’re smarter than we are!
Hermione: Oooh, yes, stroke my ego moooo—I mean, that’s no excuse not to at least try!
Ron: If you don’t let me copy your notes I won’t marry you!
Hermione: The things I have to put up with….
[On the way to Potions, they come across Cho Chang!]
Harry: Hello Cho! You’re looking lovely this morning!
Cho: And you’re looking slightly less dorky than the last time I saw you!
Harry: Aww, you’re too kind! So…how was your summer?
Cho: Remember that this was the summer after my boyfriend died?
Harry: Oh, yeah! How tactless of me! Durrhurr! …Wait…you don’t…actually think his death affected you more than me, do you?
Cho: So what if it did? He was my boyfriend.
Harry: But…but…I’m—
Ron: Cho! You have a Tornadoes badge on your chest! How dare you! As a life-long Chudley Cannons supporter, I accuse you of jumping on the bandwagon now that they’re winning!
Cho: But I’ve always been a fan of the Tornadoes! Honest! Ever since I was six!
Ron: I don’t believe you!
Cho: …Whatever, I have to get to class…. [Departs]
Hermione: You just had to, didn’t you…?
Ron: Hey, I made Harry look like less of an insensitive jerk. You both ought to be grateful.
Harry: My friends make me look like such an idiot in front of a hot chick! WAAAAAAH! How dare you when she’s one of the only people besides you who doesn’t think I’m an insane murderer who was directly responsible for Cedric’s death!
[They go to Potions…]
Snape: So, just for your information, you all have an exam to complete this spring, and if you can’t do it well enough I will be very…very…very…annoyed. Navel.
Neville: Why does he keep picking on me again? Also my name is Neville….
Harry: Maybe if my grades continue to be less-than-spectacular I’ll get to stop taking Snape’s class once and for all?
Snape: I heard that! Anyway, today you will be making the Draught of Peace. Proceed.
[They make their potions…]
Harry: WAAAAAH! This potion is haaaaard and isn’t doing what I tell it to!
Snape: By the way, Harry, your potion is missing something.
Harry: Why do you have to be so mean about it?!
Snape: Do you even know what your potion is missing?
Harry: It’s missing Hellebore, okay! Now go be a jerk to Navel or someone else who deserves it more than I do!
Neville: I heard that!
Snape: I don’t think so. [Vanishes potion] If you want to get a bad grade so you don’t have to take classes with me anymore you’re on the right track.
[After class…]
Harry: Snape is so MEAN to me!
Hermione: Yes, he’s very very mean to you. Makes you wonder why, since he’s in the Order and everything.
Ron: I still say he’s a bad person at heart.
Hermione: You don’t know that. Dumbledore trusts him, after all.
Ron: Maybe Dumbledore made a mistake?
Harry: How dare you argue about whether or not Dumbledore made a mistake in my presence! The only thing you should be arguing about in my presence is how oppressed I am! I’m leaving! [Walks out]
[Harry eventually catches up to Ron in Divination]
Ron: So, I’ve stopped arguing with Hermione, but you realize you’ve been taking out your temper on us a lot lately.
Harry: I’ll take out my temper on whomever I damn well please because I suffer more than anyone else!
Ron: This will get you in trouble one day….
Trelawney: So today we’re going to be practicing dream interpretation.
[They divide into pairs]
Neville: So the other night, I had a dream that I was being chased by a pair of scissors with a vagina and my grandmother’s hat. And then they cut through a giant snake and a phallic-looking cactus.
Dean: You poor, poor bastard.
Ron: Oddly enough, I had a dream I was playing Quidditch.
Harry: It probably means you’re going to die. That’s what all dreams mean, after all.
[And last but not least, they go to Umbridge’s class!]
Umbridge: So, today I’m going to demonstrate how unrepentantly evil—I mean, tough but fair I am by telling you to put away your precious wands and write something.
Students: Booooooooo!
Umbridge: This class is approved by the Ministry, so you know it’s bad.
Students: Waaaaaaaaah!
Umbridge: And just to top off how evil I am, we’re going to spend the first lesson reading Chapter 1 of your textbook! Bwahahahaha!
Students: Nooooooooo!
Umbridge: Wait until next week when I ask you to solve…a practice problem!
Students: Aaaaaaaaaaaah!
Umbridge: But for now, read. Teenagers should be seen and not heard, I always say.
[They try to read, but nobody can]
Harry: Hey, look! Hermione isn’t reading!
Hermione: [Waves hand in air] Professor Umbridge! Professor Umbridge!
Umbridge: Oh, it’s you. What do you want, brat girl?
Hermione: Do you actually intend for us to use defensive spells at any point in this class?
Umbridge: Eh…no.
Ron: BWAH?! You can’t be serious!
Umbridge: Oh, but I am.
Hermione: But I don’t understand—isn’t self-defense the entire point of this class?
Umbridge: No. The entire point of this class is to give me a vehicle for acting out my sadistic desires—ah, I mean, the entire point of this class is to learn according to Ministry standards, which don’t cover practicing the spells themselves.
Harry: But what good are Ministry standards if we’re going to be attacked?
Umbridge: And may I ask what makes you think you WILL be attacked?
Dean: We could.
Umbridge: Well, it seems to me that the way this class was run previously, your teachers were far more dangerous than anything you’d be likely to encounter day to day anywhere else. I mean, one of them was a werewolf. And did I mention I’m racist against werewolves?
Dean: I’ll say you are, considering he was the best professor we ever had!
Umbridge: Does it not faze you that someone performed dark spells on you when you were just fourteen years old? And that this just happened last year?
Dean: Yes, well, that professor was insane. But he was awesome too so it’s okay.
Umbridge: Yes, but cavorting with werewolves and insane people won’t get you good grades on your exam.
Parvati: But there’s a practical part of the exam too! Where will we be if we can’t do the practical stuff?
Umbridge: We can always just change the rules so there will be no practical!
Harry: You want us to be completely defenseless against the evil dark forces that would devour us?!
Umbridge: As a matter of fact—that is to say, what evil dark forces are you talking about?
Harry: Lord Voldemort, of course! He’s back, or haven’t you noticed!
Umbridge: No he’s not.
Harry: Yes he is!
Umbridge: Is not!
Harry: Is too!
Umbridge: Lalalalalalalala I’m not listening! The return of Voldemort is a stupid lie!
Harry: It is not a lie! I saw him!
Umbridge: It’s a lie, it’s a lie, it’s a lie, it’s a lie, it’s a lie!
Harry: IT IS NOT! YOU’RE THE ONE WHO’S LYING!
Umbridge: How dare you capslock at me! Just for that, I’m putting you in detention every night until I’ve broken your spirit with my evil torture devices—I mean, made you my obedient little—I mean…oh, no! He’s forced my hand! Now everyone will know what an evil monster I am!
Harry: Damn right you’re an evil monster! You’re insulting the good memory of Cedric Diggory by implying that he was killed by anyone less than the Dark Lord himself!
Umbridge: Harry, come here.
Harry: Oh! OH! You want a piece of me? You just come and get it, you evil disgusting monster!
Umbridge: [Writes something on pink paper] Take this to Professor McGonagall.
[Harry complies]
Harry: Professor McGonagall will save me.
Professor McGonagall: This is completely out of nowhere, but have some cookies.
Harry: Thank you, but why?
Professor McGonagall: Just in case they’re the last goodies you ever have.
Harry: …What?
Professor McGonagall: Professor Umbridge is an evil maniac with the Ministry behind her. You’re in big trouble now, and the more fights you start with her the worse things are going to get.
Harry: Can’t you help me?
Professor McGonagall: Unfortunately I can’t do anything about your detentions. I suggest you find yourself a supportive girlfriend who loves broken men with scars.
Harry: Oh no….
*Before anyone asks, yes this was in the text of the book itself!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2013-12-21 01:15 am (UTC)I guess you could argue that she didn't have much of a personality going in, but yeah. It really does seem like Rowling just doesn't know how else to write anyone as enthusiastic about sports as these people. Or else she just wrote Angelina being mean to Harry to give him more of an excuse to angst.