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deathtocapslockhttps://twitter.com/jk_rowling/status/475975334597492736
I'm mostly numb to JKR more questionable interview / pottermore / whatever HP cannon "explanations".
And I understand that she might have done this one just to show how much attention she pays to fandom. What with tweeting answers to fans and following HP tag on Thumblr.
But this still annoyed me.
Even if you are tying to be funny and don't really like the character you've written: this still shows a incredible disdain and lack of understanding of Draco and people who like him or find him sympathetic.
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Date: 2014-06-15 09:29 pm (UTC)Well, yes. That self-centeredness, lack of empathy, and contempt for other people's interpretations (which are perfectly reasonable, given the text) are hallmarks of narcissists. Those are among many reasons I've referred to Rowling as probably being a narcissist. I will continue to do so, whether other people on this forum like it or not. Calling someone a narcissist when all indications are that they are one is not insulting them. It is stating a fact.
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Date: 2014-06-16 06:08 am (UTC)But what makes the whole thing screamingly funny is that Jo and her avatar Harry ARE presented as thousand-proof narcissists. Which makes the situation of THEM imagining (and criticizing) DRACO for being one....
Well.
Pot, Kettle, anyone?
Or, if you dare imagine the universe does not revolve around me (as it does, and anyone reasonable must acknowledge this!), it must be because you've fallen into the complementary thought-error of imagining that the universe revolves around YOU!
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Date: 2014-06-16 08:12 am (UTC)"The Year of the Rejected Handshake"? Really?
That would be the most important things for Draco in that year? I'd go with "Stolen House Cup". But even if the desire is to be more about Harry there are still a lot of (much better) options.
Second year; again all about Potter. And it something that puts Draco in worst possible light. And again there are better Harry-centered things to chose from.
In the fourth year it could have been something about a "bug". Still about Harry.
And the last book's "name" is just horrible. And deeply insensitive. Yeah, Draco was a jerk. Personally, I don't even like him much. But hand-waving the two years the kid spent as a prisoner, living in fear for himself and his family like this? That name is not even in keeping with the rest of imaginary Draco's POV book names nor with the actual books.
It just outright cruel and demeaning.
But what makes the whole thing screamingly funny is that Jo and her avatar Harry ARE presented as thousand-proof narcissists. Which makes the situation of THEM imagining (and criticizing) DRACO for being one....
Well.
Pot, Kettle, anyone?
Or, if you dare imagine the universe does not revolve around me (as it does, and anyone reasonable must acknowledge this!), it must be because you've fallen into the complementary thought-error of imagining that the universe revolves around YOU!
*snort*
That is funny.
Can you imagine the name of the books if they were from Dumbledore's POV?
I don't even want to imagine more then possible names. Reading (or imagining reading) DD's POV would be too much for me.
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Date: 2014-06-16 08:20 am (UTC)Not agreeing with the other people's interpretations (or even finding them outright wrong or funny) is one thing. But loudly fighting all those things you see as "incorrect"?
Give it a rest already.
The more I read JKR's interviews (and I even tried reading her new "Cormoran Strike" book) the more I agree with you about Rowling probably being a narcissist.
The Harry's narcissism I could have chalked under him being a kid and later a teen. But in this new book Jo writes from two adult POVs. And guess what? Both of them read as utterly narcissistic.
Well, they do say "write what you know".
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Date: 2014-06-16 08:47 am (UTC)So even if one thinks Draco wasn't really hurt and was faking it entirely (despite Madam Pomphrey needing to tend to the injury and keeping him in the infirmary), would one think that he would lessen the sound of the attack upon his person?
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Date: 2014-06-16 04:23 pm (UTC)"...a great detective novel: sharp, immensely readable, warmhearted but cool-headed, with a solution worthy of the immaculately plotted Harry Potter series....The writer she most resembles to me is Charles Dickens: Like him, she has prodigious, otherworldly gifts of invention, and like him, she has a fierce satirical instinct....reading [JKR's pen name author has been] pure joy....The last line of Silkworm, which will lift the hearts of readers who have come to love its deeply sympathetic characters, offers the prospect of more of that joy both for her and for us."
I'll let the readers of this insert their own exclamations of hilarity or outrage.
I am sorry to say that reviews of big name authors and musicians in major publications can no longer be trusted. No matter how bad their work, it will always get rave reviews because publications don't want to alienate them. You're almost better off reading the reviews on Amazon.
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Date: 2014-06-16 05:19 pm (UTC)Not to mention that, if Draco did realize he'd been a jerk, that would still make him morally superior to almost all of the "good guys." The Hs, Scummywhore, MWPP, Lily, and most of the Weasleys are jerks, too, but they never realize it. They go on narcissistically justifying their bad behavior to their dying days.
Ooh, Scummy's POV. Now you've got me imagining that... :D
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Date: 2014-06-16 06:38 pm (UTC)I'm not sure why this would be such a pivotal moment for him that it would warrant a title, even you're going for parody. Sure, it was a bummer that Harry didn't want to be his friend, but Draco still had friends. It's not like he spent first year utterly alone, thus making Harry's rejection much more significant. Sure, one could argue that this moment jump-started their enmity, but I'm not sure if it would be that important to him. As a matter of fact, since Draco was involved with the whole Norbert/Norberta incident, wouldn't that make for a better comedic title?
/"Draco Malfoy and the Better-than-Potter's Broomstick"/
Because the Heir of Slytherin wasn't important at all to Draco? Even though he shouted, "You'll be next, Mudbloods!" and told Crabbe and Goyle that he hoped that the Heir attacked Hermione next? But, to be fair, this was the book where Draco finally joined the Quidditch Team, which was a big deal to him.
/"Draco Malfoy and Hagrid's Bloody Chicken"/
Okay, despite the fact that Draco's injury was serious, that's actually kind of funny. XD But I agree with Hwyla, Draco probably would've been more likely to refer to Buckbeak as a hippogriff since injury by hippogriff sounds much more serious than injury by chicken.
Also, is it me or...did Draco actually never say this in the book? I think that he called Buckbeak a "bloody chicken" in the movie, but I don't think that he said it in the book. He called Buckbeak a "big ugly brute."
/"Draco Malfoy and the Year His Father Would Hear About"/
Umm, doesn't his father hear about every year? Didn't Draco write to his father in second year and that's why they laughed over Arthur Weasley together? Didn't he write to his father in third year and that's why there was a trial for Buckbeak? Isn't this kid's catchphrase, "You wait until my father hears about this!"? So, why is this year special? Unless JKR is alluding to Mad-Eye Moody?
/"Draco Malfoy and the Inquisitorial Squad"/
Wait, this...this is an actually serious title! And one that's accurate, no less. In fact, if Draco really was the protagonist of the series, I could easily buy this as an official title for the fifth book. I wonder why JKR switched the tone all of a sudden.
/"Draco Malfoy and the Vanishing Cabinet"/
Again, a serious and accurate title and an even better one if Draco were the actual protagonist. Is there this tone shift because the books were supposed to be darker after the fourth one and JKR's trying to reflect that here?
/"Draco Malfoy and the Year He Realized He Had Been a Douchebag"/
...Never mind.
Besides, Draco didn't realize that last year? You know, when he was eaten up by the pressure of trying to kill Dumbledore in order to save his parents? And it's not like he got noticeably nicer in the last book either.
But yeah, that's weird. For the fifth book and sixth book, JKR presents reasonable titles for an actual series starring Draco and then abruptly switches back to the parodic tone.
Huh. Now I wonder how JKR would write the titles of the series from Snape and Voldemort's perspectives.
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Date: 2014-06-16 07:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-06-16 07:28 pm (UTC)Someone must have written something where Draco joins the IS in the first place because after the ferret incident, he was convinced his enemies really were out to destroy him utterly in as painful a matter as possible ("I had no idea just how right Father was until I saw how the Mudblood and her Muggle-loving friends laughed at my torture and near-death!") and he wanted to get them before they got him.
The first title is one where JKR actually named a driving plot element, so it could probably equally well be Severus Snape and the Philosopher's Stone or Voldemort and the Philosopher's Stone. Though Severus Snape: Back in the Game and Voldemort and the Year of the Deathly Boring View of Quirrell's Turban could work too...
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Date: 2014-06-16 08:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-06-16 09:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-06-16 09:29 pm (UTC)Albus Dumbledore and the Brilliant Master Plan Where a Magic Mirror and a Kid Do My Job For Me
Albus Dumbledore and the Brilliant Master Plan Where a Hat, a Bird, and a Kid Do My Job For Me
Albus Dumbledore and the Brilliant Master Plan Where a Magic Doohickey, a Hippogryff, and Two Kids Do My Job For Me
...
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Date: 2014-06-17 03:06 am (UTC)But--but--he develops a serious crush on the Prince and is driven by his disillusionment with the other boy to embrace lifelong heterosexualtiy (not thinking he could emulate Albus's celibacy....). That's certainly important to Molly and Ginny!
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Date: 2014-06-18 01:07 am (UTC)Well. I suppose you could still make a case for Harry Potter and the Horcrux Revelation or something cheesy like that. Given how obsessed he is with finding out what Draco's up to, maybe it should have been Harry Potter and the Vanishing Cabinet, for that matter. ("Is he hiding the plot in there? I must find out!")
I like Severus Snape and the Unbreakable Vow. That's what a lot of the actual plot was about!
I know someone once said the series could be Harry Potter and the Seven Riddles, and it belatedly occurs to me that that could have worked as a title for this book or for DH, given the Horcrux reveal. Just make Voldemort hide his Horcruxes behind riddle-password protections like the Ravenclaw common room or something (why can't he steal ideas from other Houses?) and let the little kids feel clever for spotting the pun.
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Date: 2014-06-18 01:59 am (UTC)Severus Snape and the brats that attacked the classroom.
Severus Snape and the return of the Marauders.
Severus Snape and the darkening Mark.
Severus Snape and the lazy Occlumency student.
Severus Snape and the Unbreakable Vow
Severus Snape - Headmaster, Protector and Servant
Please suggest improvements.
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Date: 2014-06-18 03:15 am (UTC)Blanking on anything better than "the brats that attacked the classroom," unless he wants to be harsher and call them delinquents. Severus Snape and the Bottle-Blond Coworker? Severus Snape and the Glory Hound?
Severus Snape and the Return of the Marauders -- yes, that year must have been like a recurring nightmare! I suppose there's "...and the Shrieking Shack" or "...and the Grim" (hey, he did die there in the end), but neither of those encapsulates as much as "...the Return of the Marauders." (Except maybe The Marauders Strike Back, if you go the joke title route.)
I really like Severus Snape and the Darkening Mark. That's the real plot of the book behind the Triwizard distraction, the growing threat of Voldemort's return. Heck, even the real book could more accurately have been called Harry Potter and the Dark Mark! (I mean, the goblet? The Tournament, sure, that took up page space, but the goblet was a cameo appearance and barely relevant!)
Severus Snape and the Lazy Occlumency student is sadly all too accurate, and also names the problem that leads to the book's climax. Um. Maybe Severus Snape and the Subverted Mind?
Unbreakable Vow is great, as I think everyone recognizes.
Severus Snape and the Headmaster of Hogwarts could work. You'd start off thinking it meant Dumbledore, and maybe he would too, but by the end it's all about him and his role. JKR would probably go for Severus Snape and the Silver Doe, I would guess.
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Date: 2014-06-18 05:07 am (UTC)In the first 2 books I have a hard time deciding how much of his attention was on Harry vs the Voldemort incarnation of the year.
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Date: 2014-06-18 06:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-06-18 06:06 pm (UTC)Draco Malfoy and the year Dumbledore stole the House Cup
Draco Malfoy and the year Potter assaulted Grabbe and Goyle
Draco Malfoy and the year he was injured because of a third-grade drop out who'd been hired to teach, for some reason
Draco Malfoy and the year he was assaulted by an escaped convict at large at Hogwarts, under Dumbledore's very nose
Draco Malfoy and the year he was beaten up by Potter and cronies for making a bad joke
Draco Malfoy and the year he was dealing with a dark adult storyline while Potter was fighting the chest monster
Draco Malfoy and the year he was held hostage in his own home while Potter went camping
These aren't as funny, but I think they describe what Draco was going to better than the above. It never ceases to amaze me how some of her fans have a better understanding of some characters and their motivations than Rowling herself. How did she even manage to write these books if she so clearly hates some of the characters.
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Date: 2014-06-18 06:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-06-19 12:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-06-19 01:06 am (UTC)If we could nail that down, that might at least help us guess about his focus for the year. (Though it would neat if it were Option C: Something Else Related to the Voldemort Plot.)
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Date: 2014-06-19 01:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-06-19 01:13 am (UTC)That's probably the defining moment of the year for a lot of the Slytherins, for sure! As the capstone of a year of favoritism in which Potter gets to break all the rules concerning first years and brooms and Quidditch while Dumbledore twinkles and McGonagall brags.
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Date: 2014-06-19 01:14 pm (UTC)Neville Longbottom and the Heir of Slytherin
Neville Longbottom and the Boggart in the Wardrobe
Neville Longbottom and the Cruciatus Curse
Neville Longbottom and the Return of the Lestranges
????
Neville Longbottom and Dumbledore's Army (or ... and the Room of Requirement)
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Date: 2014-06-19 01:52 pm (UTC)Neville Longbottom and the Charmed Coin. (He and Luna were checking it all year until finally it alerted them the night of the invasion.)
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Date: 2014-06-19 01:57 pm (UTC)Hermione Granger and the Polyjuice Potion (or ... and the Heir of Slytherin)
Hermione Granger and the Time Turner
Hermione Granger and the Nosy Beetle
Hermione Granger and the Cursed Parchment
Hermione Granger and the Half-Blood Prince
Hermione Granger and the Despodent Boy
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Date: 2014-06-19 03:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-06-19 08:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-06-19 10:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-06-20 03:01 am (UTC)"Harry Potter and the Seven Riddles" is one that's been going around in various contexts, and might work for the Big Horcrux Reveal book.
"Harry Potter and the Unbreakable Vow" was another possibility, since we see it being made in Chapter 2 and a lot of the actual plot hinges on it. You'd probably have to add in more ominous hints over what it might be about so that Harry can worry over it; there's a bit in Snape's scene with Draco during the party, but that's about it.
It would probably work just as well to re-write the book and give it some focus so that "...the Half-Blood Prince" is actually relevant. Here's what I said back then:
"Maybe Harry could have started discovering that Snape and Lily used to be friends in this book (maybe Slughorn tells him), and then the revelation that the potions book had a Draco-eviscerating hex and Snape killing Dumbledore would feel doubly like betrayals - he wouldn't just be freaked that Snape was the one who gave Voldemort the prophecy, but that he betrayed his best friend Lily and created dangerous magic while still in school and fooled Dumbledore for years to finish the betrayal. (This would also require Harry worrying about the hexes from the book which he used and what that means about him.) He'd probably decide Snape was never a real friend, of course, being Harry. So then the Prince's tale in the next book would be not information from nowhere, but the revelation that yes, they really were friends, Snape really did want to protect Lily from the Marauders, and that he's been working essentially for Lily's memory all along. And, um, maybe playing up the Snape-as-Draco's-mentor (whom Draco is now resisting) role in all that for generational parallels and connecting subplots."
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Date: 2014-06-20 03:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-06-20 03:05 am (UTC)Y7 could also be Neville Longbottom and the Hogwarts Resistance. Hey, we can wish he got over the idea that he could only act in the name of some great Chosen figure...
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Date: 2014-06-20 03:14 am (UTC)Hermione doesn't seem to have felt the cursed parchment was that big a deal, unfortunately... Maybe one of these for Y5?
Hermione Granger and the NEWT-Level Charmed Coins
Hermione Granger and Dumbledore's Army
Hermione Granger and the "Secret Weapon"
Hermione Granger and the Capslocking Friend
Hermione Granger and the Hogwarts Inquisition
I uncharitably want to call Y7 "Hermione Granger and the Importance of Packing Clean Underwear for Your Slob Guy Friends Who Would Forget" or "Hermione Granger and the Beaded Handbag."
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Date: 2014-06-20 05:46 am (UTC)As for the guys not packing undies - to be fair - they didn't pack anything else either.
Hermione has nagged them for years to get their homework done. Why in the world didn't she mention that it would be a good idea to have their own 'bags of holding' prepared and either shrunk to fit in their pockets or an easy accio distance away?
As for not telling Dumbledore about an illegal animagus? Supposedly, Hermione is in good company there if we consider JKRs opinion of Remus who never bothered to mention that a believed mass-murder might look like a black dog. Comparing snoop to mass-murderer, I think Remus not telling Albus about Sirius is much worse. But then, no one has ever called Remus the 'brightest wizard of his age' either. Hermione has more to live up to. Then again, it is Remus (or was it Sirius?) that gives her that title - so perhaps a grain of salt?
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Date: 2014-06-20 04:17 pm (UTC)Ronald Weasley and the Broken Wand
Hermione Granger and the Time Turner
Cedric Diggory and the Tri-Wizard Tournament
Neville Longbottom and the Prisoners of Azkaban
Draco Malfoy and the Vanishing Cabinet
Severus Snape and the Final Atonement
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Date: 2014-06-21 04:17 am (UTC)I think Lupin was just trying to re-assure himself that his secret was more secure than it really was. In a world in which werewolves are known to exist, you don’t have to be extraordinarily intelligent to figure out what’s wrong with a man who gets “sick” on a regular 28-day cycle.
Of course, if the DADA prof that year had been “Remora” Lupin instead of Remus, she could have claimed pathological PMS. Sometimes I like to imagine that the real reason Hermione caught on is that Remus’s and her “times-of-the-month” happened to coincide, so that she needed no more than a single broad hint from Severus to make the connection. “Why do I always seem to have Professor Snape for Defense just when I’m having my worst cramps… ohhhh!” *light bulb goes on*
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Date: 2014-06-21 04:23 pm (UTC)Hermione Granger and the High Inquisitor.
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Date: 2014-06-22 02:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-06-22 02:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-06-22 02:34 am (UTC)I love it!
Thought now I am finding it interesting that there aren't more Rema Lupins out there. You'd think the werewolf conceit would be a natural fit for having lots of female werewolves, but I think I've heard ot maybe two out of a field of a zillion and one male werewolves?
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Date: 2014-06-22 01:50 pm (UTC)The Malfoys Strike Back
Draco and the Monster-Teachers
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Date: 2014-06-23 08:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-06-23 09:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-06-25 01:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-06-27 11:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-06-28 09:30 pm (UTC)That also describes Albus Dumbledore who she calles the "epitome of goodness"
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Date: 2014-07-01 06:35 pm (UTC)Since some of the characters in the strip were raising kids, Potter humor would show up every once in a while. There was a little boy who was transsexual and insisted on being called "Hermione" when playing Potter-games with Stewart, the large man who was required to take the role of Hagrid.