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deathtocapslockhttps://twitter.com/jk_rowling/status/475975334597492736
I'm mostly numb to JKR more questionable interview / pottermore / whatever HP cannon "explanations".
And I understand that she might have done this one just to show how much attention she pays to fandom. What with tweeting answers to fans and following HP tag on Thumblr.
But this still annoyed me.
Even if you are tying to be funny and don't really like the character you've written: this still shows a incredible disdain and lack of understanding of Draco and people who like him or find him sympathetic.
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Date: 2014-06-16 06:38 pm (UTC)I'm not sure why this would be such a pivotal moment for him that it would warrant a title, even you're going for parody. Sure, it was a bummer that Harry didn't want to be his friend, but Draco still had friends. It's not like he spent first year utterly alone, thus making Harry's rejection much more significant. Sure, one could argue that this moment jump-started their enmity, but I'm not sure if it would be that important to him. As a matter of fact, since Draco was involved with the whole Norbert/Norberta incident, wouldn't that make for a better comedic title?
/"Draco Malfoy and the Better-than-Potter's Broomstick"/
Because the Heir of Slytherin wasn't important at all to Draco? Even though he shouted, "You'll be next, Mudbloods!" and told Crabbe and Goyle that he hoped that the Heir attacked Hermione next? But, to be fair, this was the book where Draco finally joined the Quidditch Team, which was a big deal to him.
/"Draco Malfoy and Hagrid's Bloody Chicken"/
Okay, despite the fact that Draco's injury was serious, that's actually kind of funny. XD But I agree with Hwyla, Draco probably would've been more likely to refer to Buckbeak as a hippogriff since injury by hippogriff sounds much more serious than injury by chicken.
Also, is it me or...did Draco actually never say this in the book? I think that he called Buckbeak a "bloody chicken" in the movie, but I don't think that he said it in the book. He called Buckbeak a "big ugly brute."
/"Draco Malfoy and the Year His Father Would Hear About"/
Umm, doesn't his father hear about every year? Didn't Draco write to his father in second year and that's why they laughed over Arthur Weasley together? Didn't he write to his father in third year and that's why there was a trial for Buckbeak? Isn't this kid's catchphrase, "You wait until my father hears about this!"? So, why is this year special? Unless JKR is alluding to Mad-Eye Moody?
/"Draco Malfoy and the Inquisitorial Squad"/
Wait, this...this is an actually serious title! And one that's accurate, no less. In fact, if Draco really was the protagonist of the series, I could easily buy this as an official title for the fifth book. I wonder why JKR switched the tone all of a sudden.
/"Draco Malfoy and the Vanishing Cabinet"/
Again, a serious and accurate title and an even better one if Draco were the actual protagonist. Is there this tone shift because the books were supposed to be darker after the fourth one and JKR's trying to reflect that here?
/"Draco Malfoy and the Year He Realized He Had Been a Douchebag"/
...Never mind.
Besides, Draco didn't realize that last year? You know, when he was eaten up by the pressure of trying to kill Dumbledore in order to save his parents? And it's not like he got noticeably nicer in the last book either.
But yeah, that's weird. For the fifth book and sixth book, JKR presents reasonable titles for an actual series starring Draco and then abruptly switches back to the parodic tone.
Huh. Now I wonder how JKR would write the titles of the series from Snape and Voldemort's perspectives.
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Date: 2014-06-16 07:28 pm (UTC)Someone must have written something where Draco joins the IS in the first place because after the ferret incident, he was convinced his enemies really were out to destroy him utterly in as painful a matter as possible ("I had no idea just how right Father was until I saw how the Mudblood and her Muggle-loving friends laughed at my torture and near-death!") and he wanted to get them before they got him.
The first title is one where JKR actually named a driving plot element, so it could probably equally well be Severus Snape and the Philosopher's Stone or Voldemort and the Philosopher's Stone. Though Severus Snape: Back in the Game and Voldemort and the Year of the Deathly Boring View of Quirrell's Turban could work too...
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Date: 2014-06-16 09:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-06-17 03:06 am (UTC)But--but--he develops a serious crush on the Prince and is driven by his disillusionment with the other boy to embrace lifelong heterosexualtiy (not thinking he could emulate Albus's celibacy....). That's certainly important to Molly and Ginny!
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Date: 2014-06-18 01:07 am (UTC)Well. I suppose you could still make a case for Harry Potter and the Horcrux Revelation or something cheesy like that. Given how obsessed he is with finding out what Draco's up to, maybe it should have been Harry Potter and the Vanishing Cabinet, for that matter. ("Is he hiding the plot in there? I must find out!")
I like Severus Snape and the Unbreakable Vow. That's what a lot of the actual plot was about!
I know someone once said the series could be Harry Potter and the Seven Riddles, and it belatedly occurs to me that that could have worked as a title for this book or for DH, given the Horcrux reveal. Just make Voldemort hide his Horcruxes behind riddle-password protections like the Ravenclaw common room or something (why can't he steal ideas from other Houses?) and let the little kids feel clever for spotting the pun.
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Date: 2014-06-18 01:59 am (UTC)Severus Snape and the brats that attacked the classroom.
Severus Snape and the return of the Marauders.
Severus Snape and the darkening Mark.
Severus Snape and the lazy Occlumency student.
Severus Snape and the Unbreakable Vow
Severus Snape - Headmaster, Protector and Servant
Please suggest improvements.
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Date: 2014-06-18 03:15 am (UTC)Blanking on anything better than "the brats that attacked the classroom," unless he wants to be harsher and call them delinquents. Severus Snape and the Bottle-Blond Coworker? Severus Snape and the Glory Hound?
Severus Snape and the Return of the Marauders -- yes, that year must have been like a recurring nightmare! I suppose there's "...and the Shrieking Shack" or "...and the Grim" (hey, he did die there in the end), but neither of those encapsulates as much as "...the Return of the Marauders." (Except maybe The Marauders Strike Back, if you go the joke title route.)
I really like Severus Snape and the Darkening Mark. That's the real plot of the book behind the Triwizard distraction, the growing threat of Voldemort's return. Heck, even the real book could more accurately have been called Harry Potter and the Dark Mark! (I mean, the goblet? The Tournament, sure, that took up page space, but the goblet was a cameo appearance and barely relevant!)
Severus Snape and the Lazy Occlumency student is sadly all too accurate, and also names the problem that leads to the book's climax. Um. Maybe Severus Snape and the Subverted Mind?
Unbreakable Vow is great, as I think everyone recognizes.
Severus Snape and the Headmaster of Hogwarts could work. You'd start off thinking it meant Dumbledore, and maybe he would too, but by the end it's all about him and his role. JKR would probably go for Severus Snape and the Silver Doe, I would guess.
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Date: 2014-06-18 05:07 am (UTC)In the first 2 books I have a hard time deciding how much of his attention was on Harry vs the Voldemort incarnation of the year.
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Date: 2014-06-19 01:06 am (UTC)If we could nail that down, that might at least help us guess about his focus for the year. (Though it would neat if it were Option C: Something Else Related to the Voldemort Plot.)
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Date: 2014-06-18 06:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-06-19 01:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-06-19 08:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-06-19 10:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-06-20 03:01 am (UTC)"Harry Potter and the Seven Riddles" is one that's been going around in various contexts, and might work for the Big Horcrux Reveal book.
"Harry Potter and the Unbreakable Vow" was another possibility, since we see it being made in Chapter 2 and a lot of the actual plot hinges on it. You'd probably have to add in more ominous hints over what it might be about so that Harry can worry over it; there's a bit in Snape's scene with Draco during the party, but that's about it.
It would probably work just as well to re-write the book and give it some focus so that "...the Half-Blood Prince" is actually relevant. Here's what I said back then:
"Maybe Harry could have started discovering that Snape and Lily used to be friends in this book (maybe Slughorn tells him), and then the revelation that the potions book had a Draco-eviscerating hex and Snape killing Dumbledore would feel doubly like betrayals - he wouldn't just be freaked that Snape was the one who gave Voldemort the prophecy, but that he betrayed his best friend Lily and created dangerous magic while still in school and fooled Dumbledore for years to finish the betrayal. (This would also require Harry worrying about the hexes from the book which he used and what that means about him.) He'd probably decide Snape was never a real friend, of course, being Harry. So then the Prince's tale in the next book would be not information from nowhere, but the revelation that yes, they really were friends, Snape really did want to protect Lily from the Marauders, and that he's been working essentially for Lily's memory all along. And, um, maybe playing up the Snape-as-Draco's-mentor (whom Draco is now resisting) role in all that for generational parallels and connecting subplots."
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Date: 2014-06-20 03:02 am (UTC)