PS Chapter Eleven

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

*With that kind of chapter title, who wouldn't keep reading?

*Part of Hagrid's job is going out and defrosting broomsticks on the Pitch for the kids to ride. How could anyone call this man a servant?

*Just in case you didn't get that Hagrid's love of animals is all about what they do for him, the man's dressed head to toe in the skins of different animals.

*Harry realizes he's really lucky to have Hermione as a friend. Because friends do your homework for you. Really. That's what Harry told her.

*Honestly, what a sad comment on that chemistry. No wonder people thought it might make more sense if they were attracted to each other.

*Hermione's lent Harry Quidditch through the Ages. She lent it to him? Why does she own a copy? And if she does, why does she make a fool of herself when she tries to talk about Quidditch?

*So Seekers being the smallest and fastest is actually canon. Yay.

*I guess I won't ask why Seekers aren't replaced after their growth spurt, or why they aren't all women.

*Harry thinks Hermione's become a lot nicer since it turned out all her beliefs about right and wrong were a sham and she'll let you do anything as long as she thinks it's a good idea.

*Snape takes 5 points for Harry's bringing a library book outside, which sounds like a semi-possible rule, but is actually a terrible example of abuse. (Though I guess that shows Hermione lent Harry a library book.)

*The narrator says Hermione won't ever let Harry and Ron copy because they wouldn't learn that way. The narrator neglects to mention she will happily do stuff for them-then it's not copying.

*Harry opens the door to the staffroom and a horrible sight meets his eyes. Snape and Filch are inside alone. Snape's got his robes pulled up. Fill in the rest. I'll cue the wocka wocka porn music.

*Hee! I wonder if Snape was super mad at Harry because he saw his bare legs and he had a flashback to his pantsing back in fifth year.

*Seamus informs Harry Seekers are always the ones to get nobbled by the other team. Once again life singles Harry out for abuse and martyrdom!

*Dean's just "The West Ham fan."

*They've made a banner that says Potter for President. What the hell that's supposed to mean is anyone's guess.

*Meanwhile, in the changing rooms, the team was putting on its robes and various members were eyeing each other and planning their after-game wanks.

*Harry thinks Flint might have some troll blood in him. Because a bad bloodline would explain his flaws.

*I've heard people defend Ginny's trashing of Zach by saying that while Lee's commentary was, uh, well, not biased but maybe contained a little editorializing, it was totally different because he kept his commentary strictly on the game and never said anything personal. Which he proves by starting off the game by announcing that Angelina is attractive.

*In the chaos of the Quidditch game, the narrator falls off Harry's shoulder and lands randomly in the stands with Hagrid, Hermione and Ron.

*Apparently it's part of Harry and Wood's plan for Harry to do the obvious thing any Seeker would do. Reverse psychology.

*One of the Twins' wristwatches flashes so much gold Harry mistakes it for the Snitch. That's some bling, there. Ever-tasteful, those Weasleys.

*Funny how people who have been playing Quidditch for years are suddenly transfixed by a normal part of the game now that Harry's doing it. He's just that good.

*Marcus Flint blocked Harry on purpose! Imagine blocking another player on purpose from winning the game! Luckily it's a Slytherin doing it so it's a foul.

*Ron reminds Dean this isn't football so Flint can't be sent off. Though Dean seemed to remember it wasn't football enough to think that blocking another player was a shocking thing to do in a team sport with goals.

*Hagrid, of course, thinks they should change the rules now that Harry might be knocked out of the air. This while other players are intentionally smacking iron balls at the Chasers.

*Lee goes on about how awful it is that Flint had put someone at risk for falling off their broom. Meanwhile, Harry is almost knocked off his broom by a Bludger and it's business as usual.

*Flint is hit hard in the face with an iron ball which actually would knock him off his broom, and Lee-still not keeping it personal-says he hopes it hurt him. Well, that's understandable. Remember that time the other team was going to get that thing that would win the game and he got in their way?

*Seamus also suggests that Harry's broom being possessed has something to do with Flint blocking him. WHY IS A PLAYER BLOCKING ANOTHER PLAYER SUCH A BIG DEAL?

*Btw, interfering with a broom is powerful Dark Magic. In case there was any doubt that the term Dark Magic was defined by Gryffindors.

*Hermione goes straight for Snape to see if he's trying to kill Harry. Because she thinks all teachers are saints.

*Flint scores five times without anyone noticing, which is presumably supposed to reflect badly on Flint but really just shows that the referees are brain dead.

*True to her style, JKR did show Hermione's fire spell before she used it on Snape. That's nice.

*Neville's been sobbing for five minutes. Um, wow. Are we sure he's not the one we should be calling Snivellus?

*Sure Harry wasn't able to actually play the Quidditch game, but as he was in the air, on the Pitch and not unconscious he caught the Snitch and they won.

*The narrator, still dazed from the fall from mid air, stumbles back to Harry again as they leave for Hagrid's hut.

*The kids wonder what to tell Hagrid and Harry, being still young and slightly innocent, decides on the truth.

*Hagrid says something dopey. And…scene.





Atomic Grenade
The Gryffindor team's new Seeker is an 11-year-old who's never played a game in his life, but seems to have a knack for flying and catching things in the air. Wood calls him a secret weapon-he must be an atomic grenade.

Hero's Death Battle Exemption
If he hadn't been chosen as Seeker, Harry would have had quite a career in the air rodeo.

Idiot Picture
Hagrid's very handy to have around when you can't come up with any other way to give everyone a clue.

Idiot World
The fact that Hagrid is part of the inner circle of power in the WW, of course, does not bode well.

Informed Attributes
That Flint is a dirty cheater. Let the other team score, you bastard!

POV Shots
All over the place.

Final score: 6

Signs of things to come: If Gryffindor wins the match, they'll be second for the house cup. Because I just decided they would be. Harry's really lucky to have Hermione as a friend, because she thinks you do your friends' homework. So we can trace Harry's loss of interest in all things academic to Quidditch. Ron accuses Hermione of thinking all teachers are saints, which is the first of those Ron lines where he talks like Hermione's a better person than she is (the best being his accusation that she's so noble she thinks everyone else is too). Harry has a whole scene of not even paying attention to the game or being able to play, so the Snitch helpfully just jumps into his mouth. Once Hermione's your friend, she'll totally break or bend the rules for you-the girl was born to be a Weasley. Hagrid: still an idiot.

Comments

[sarahtales.livejournal.com]

Magpie, the Seekers can't be women! The Seekers are the most important players on a team, for God's sake. Women can't deal with the pressure. Look at Cho Chang, all sad because her boyfriend died, the whiner, and such a good sport about people having better brooms than she does. Clearly not winner material.

Women, honestly. (I'm a woman, I know what we're like.)

Augh, Lee's commentary, and how it was just the same as Zacharias'. Wow, why did nobody ever bang into his Quidditch commentators' stand? Oh, right. Because the other teams are all composed of better sports than Ginny, who dumped a man for being a bad loser.

Oh, the hypocrisy, it hurts my brain.

Wasn't Draco in this chapter somewhere? I remember him! He was starting on his long glorious career of getting punched on the Quidditch pitch for talking.

... If I was on that faculty, I would test all those Gryffindors for steroids. They are good and noble, you know! It's just the roid rage!

[papier.livejournal.com]

Hermione's lent Harry Quidditch through the Ages. She lent it to him? Why does she own a copy? And if she does, why does she make a fool of herself when she tries to talk about Quidditch?

Academics, renowned for knowing a lot more about things than the average joes, must hold their silence when it comes to sport, because anything that doesn't involve writing is clearly not something they will understand. That is the gospel according to Ginny Weasley. Besides, Quidditch is the only thing Gin-Gin has in common with Harry, and she doesn't want that bitch mustling in on her turf.

The narrator says Hermione won't ever let Harry and Ron copy because they wouldn't learn that way. The narrator neglects to mention she will happily do stuff for them-then it's not copying.

So basically not only does she not want them figuring stuff out for themselves, she doesn't even trust them to write it out on their own. What, does she think they're in special ed or something?

One of the Twins' wristwatches flashes so much gold Harry mistakes it for the Snitch. That's some bling, there. Ever-tasteful, those Weasleys.

Trinny and Susannah could make a series out of them.

Hagrid says something dopey. And…scene.

Business as usual then.

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

One of the Twins' wristwatches flashes so much gold Harry mistakes it for the Snitch. That's some bling, there.

I think Pansy Parkinson has one, too, in GoF - a Niffler nearly bit it off her? Of course, that was her own fault for being ostentatious enough to have nice things without a tragic and/or disadvantaged upbringing.
Plus, it was Hagrid’s class, and everyone knows how the Slytherins are always mucking up his awesome lesson plans.

Snape and Filch are inside alone. Snape's got his robes pulled up. Fill in the rest.

I’m sorry, but this scene is totally cute! Filch is handing him bandages! And Snape blabbing all about the Sooper Sekrit guard to the Stone. (And, oh, gee, there’s another classist Slytherin cooperating with the lowly almost-Muggle Filch while the egalitarian, liberal Gryffindors hex them.)
I also like Harry getting all brave in the common room – why should he be afraid of Snape? He won’t refuse me in front of other teachers who love me! I’ll just have to steal it back from his office! Then he runs away (omg only because he’s afraid of losing points for his house) at Snape’s capslock.

Meanwhile, in the changing rooms, the team was putting on its robes and various members were eyeing each other and planning their after-game wanks.

I kinda like Angelina here (I’m sure it’ll stop soon, so I’ll enjoy it while it lasts) for the baby feminist (someone train that out of her, already, it has no place in this series) ‘And women!’ ala Monty Python.

Lee kept his commentary strictly on the game and never said anything personal.

You’d think Zacharias called Ginny’s mom a whore. Wasn’t all he said was that they were on the team because of their ties with Harry? (Oh, and that one of the players is small. Like how Lee says the team in POA have been selected for ‘size, not skill’, except less rude.) Which is true, in Ron’s case.

I guess I won't ask why Seekers aren't replaced after their growth spurt, or why they aren't all women.

Geez, let’s not get any crazy ideas. Girls are fine if you can’t find anyone better at short notice, but no self-respecting Captain (who are naturally all guys) would take on one if you could have a guy Seeker. Can you think of any girls worthy of the acclaim and adulation? Even the amazing Ginny is a pale replacement for Harry, and maths (oh dear) would dictate that the terrible (and yet at the same time, totally threatening!) Draco must pwn Cho with some regularity.
I can’t remember if it’s in the books or fandom that someone made a Significant Point about the Slytherin team having TA-DUM no girls, but it’s pretty hilarious either way. I guess their males just aren’t the feminists Gryffindor are. Or all their girls are too ugly to be macked on like Lee does so charmingly here.

Signs of things to come: Hermione feeding the boys? She hasn't quite graduated to wiping their mouths yet, though.

Just in case you didn't get that Hagrid's love of animals is all about what they do for him, the man's dressed head to toe in skins.

Well, jeez, what use are moles, rabbits and beavers, apart from as clothing? It’s not like they can sic your enemies or anything!

Hermione's lent Harry Quidditch through the Ages. Why does she own a copy?

Operation: Assimilate.

And if she does, why does she make a fool of herself when she tries to talk about Quidditch?

‘Wonky Faints’ aside, Hermione has never seemed like she doesn’t grasp the basics (OMG, that opposing team member just totally tried to get the ball, FOUL1!!! Harry is the best player, ever ever ever!)
I presume the others look down on her more because she doesn’t place the game itself in it’s proper place (above lives).
Sadly, they take the wrong tack in criticising her for this, instead of making her understand by using a comparison she’d understand – it’s as important as house points, or revenge, or it can be used as a punishment for the houses not properly aligning behind Gryffindor.
Or maybe Ginny’s just a vindictive little cunt.

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

Snape takes points for Harry's bringing a library book outside, which sounds like a possible rule, but is actually a terrible example of abuse.

Heh, I thought the teachers could award points for whatever they liked, within reason. Otherwise this is just going to make the end of PS, the end of OotP, and Harry’s 20 points for passing a watering canon seem totally unfair!
I did LOL when the kids think they’re breaking the rules, so attempt to hide it, while the narrator goes to massive lengths to convey that Snape is totally unfair for ‘looking for a reason to tell them off’ even though they’ve already given him one.

announcing Angelina is attractive.

I already knew she was from the emblem on her robes.

a banner says Potter for President. What the hell that's supposed to mean is anyone's guess.

I dare someone to submit a story featuring this to a Brit-picking community.
Apparently the Gryffindor/Slytherin rivalry, although heated; isn’t quite as strong as the dislike between Gryffindor and those upstart Hufflepuffs, since Dean hasn’t yet utilised his artistic gifts to draw the opposing teams heads on fire yet, like he does in GoF.

Harry thinks Flint might have some troll blood in him. Because a bad bloodline would explain his flaws.

Doesn’t he do this again with Millicent in CoS? He really needs to just make his own Ministry statue, already.
I was having this incredibly long discussion recently about whether the other Hogwarts teachers, beside the obvious Dumbledore, Hagrid, Snape and McGonagall, are biased for Gryffindor or against Slytherin, which never really got settled one way or another (in that both sides remained convinced we were totally in the right) but I’ll note here that Hooch is apparently directing the ‘play fair!’ warnings to Slytherin specifically. (Isn’t this the hardened coach who screeches that she’s never seen such tactics at Malfoy holding a broom, and restrains herself to a fairly sedate ‘That will do!’ when Fred throws his bat at Flint’s face?)

Hagrid, of course, thinks they should change the rules now that Harry might be knocked out of the air.

Watch out, if he gets a hangnail, they may have to cancel the whole game. (Love Lee describing it as a near killing. Where’s that Gryffindor bravery and fighting spirit? Oh, right, it disappears when it’s one of their own who gets harmed instead of doing the harming.)

Neville's been sobbing for five minutes. Um, wow.

And onto Hagrid, who he presumably automatically trusts (just like he’s being brought to tears by Harry’s danger, because they’re BFFs) even though their interaction until this point has been ‘you there!’

Sure Harry wasn't able to actually play the Quidditch game, but as he was in the air, on the Pitch and not unconscious he caught the Snitch.

I’m with Flint here on that being totally unfair, but at least it is an accident here, not an example of Harry’s Awesome Talent (just his Incredibly Contrived Luck!)
Or maybe it just looks better in comparison to CoS, where he catches with a broken arm! While being pelted with cursed bludgers! While it’s raining! On an inferior broom! And just one day away from retirement!

Flint scores without anyone noticing, which is presumably supposed to reflect badly on Flint but really just shows that the referees are brain dead.

To be honest, I wouldn’t put it past JKR to have Flint as transfixed with love and anxiety about Harry’s wellbeing as the other, what, 800 people, all of whom are usually bloodthirsty animals who laugh and cheer at injuries and endangered players, but who naturally all already value Harry’s pure heart too much to be able to concentrate on a petty game while he's at risk.
(PS. the whole crowd were worried? Really? Even the three-quarters of them presumably rooting for slimy Slytherin? What, the rest of his team weren’t at least taking the opportunity to throw Bludgers at Fred’s heads, or looking for the Snitch? Man, no wonder they sacked this Seeker.)
But I’m kinda getting to like the dude, already. Go Flint!

Btw, interfering with a broom is powerful Dark Magic.

Silly Quirrell, shoulda taken Hermione’s example and hexed the player himself.

[kaskait.livejournal.com]

*Part of Hagrid's job is going out and defrosting broomsticks on the Pitch for the kids to ride. How could anyone call this man a servant?

That is just his day job. At night, when everyone is asleep, Hagrid begins his alternate life as a super sleuth. He has been searching for Riddle clues in the castle all these years.

*Harry realizes he's really lucky to have Hermione as a friend. Because friends do your homework for you. Really. That's what Harry told her.

Why do homework when you can have a smart, charity case friend doing it for you? I wonder if that gives Hermione pause now and then. Knowing that Harry and Ron really just like that their homework is done by someone smarter.

*Hermione's lent Harry Quidditch through the Ages. She lent it to him? Why does she own a copy? And if she does, why does she make a fool of herself when she tries to talk about Quidditch?

The narrator explained that she had the book because she was trying to get hints on flying. Maybe also to impress the great Potty to be her friend as well.

[saylee.livejournal.com]

*One of the Twins' wristwatches flashes so much gold Harry mistakes it for the Snitch. That's some bling, there. Ever-tasteful, those Weasleys.
And yet they can't even afford robes that fit properly for Ron.

*Flint scores five times without anyone noticing, which is presumably supposed to reflect badly on Flint but really just shows that the referees are brain dead.
And I've now officially decided I like Flint.

*Neville's been sobbing for five minutes. Um, wow. Are we sure he's not the one we should be calling Snivellus?
It's not even that big of a stretch to get Snivellus out of Neville.

[mmoa.livejournal.com]

Snape and Filch are inside alone. Snape's got his robes pulled up. Fill in the rest. I'll cue the wocka wocka porn music.

Goodness, a premonition of the powers of slutty temptress handwriting already...

*Btw, interfering with a broom is powerful Dark Magic. In case there was any doubt that the term Dark Magic was defined by Gryffindors.

OK, guys, there's paranoia and then there's paranoia (though considering we all love lit. criticism, one could read so much - or not- about the destruction/tampering with of phallic objects being classified as Dark Magic. Explains a lot about those Death Eaters too).