PS Chapter Eleven

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

*With that kind of chapter title, who wouldn't keep reading?

*Part of Hagrid's job is going out and defrosting broomsticks on the Pitch for the kids to ride. How could anyone call this man a servant?

*Just in case you didn't get that Hagrid's love of animals is all about what they do for him, the man's dressed head to toe in the skins of different animals.

*Harry realizes he's really lucky to have Hermione as a friend. Because friends do your homework for you. Really. That's what Harry told her.

*Honestly, what a sad comment on that chemistry. No wonder people thought it might make more sense if they were attracted to each other.

*Hermione's lent Harry Quidditch through the Ages. She lent it to him? Why does she own a copy? And if she does, why does she make a fool of herself when she tries to talk about Quidditch?

*So Seekers being the smallest and fastest is actually canon. Yay.

*I guess I won't ask why Seekers aren't replaced after their growth spurt, or why they aren't all women.

*Harry thinks Hermione's become a lot nicer since it turned out all her beliefs about right and wrong were a sham and she'll let you do anything as long as she thinks it's a good idea.

*Snape takes 5 points for Harry's bringing a library book outside, which sounds like a semi-possible rule, but is actually a terrible example of abuse. (Though I guess that shows Hermione lent Harry a library book.)

*The narrator says Hermione won't ever let Harry and Ron copy because they wouldn't learn that way. The narrator neglects to mention she will happily do stuff for them-then it's not copying.

*Harry opens the door to the staffroom and a horrible sight meets his eyes. Snape and Filch are inside alone. Snape's got his robes pulled up. Fill in the rest. I'll cue the wocka wocka porn music.

*Hee! I wonder if Snape was super mad at Harry because he saw his bare legs and he had a flashback to his pantsing back in fifth year.

*Seamus informs Harry Seekers are always the ones to get nobbled by the other team. Once again life singles Harry out for abuse and martyrdom!

*Dean's just "The West Ham fan."

*They've made a banner that says Potter for President. What the hell that's supposed to mean is anyone's guess.

*Meanwhile, in the changing rooms, the team was putting on its robes and various members were eyeing each other and planning their after-game wanks.

*Harry thinks Flint might have some troll blood in him. Because a bad bloodline would explain his flaws.

*I've heard people defend Ginny's trashing of Zach by saying that while Lee's commentary was, uh, well, not biased but maybe contained a little editorializing, it was totally different because he kept his commentary strictly on the game and never said anything personal. Which he proves by starting off the game by announcing that Angelina is attractive.

*In the chaos of the Quidditch game, the narrator falls off Harry's shoulder and lands randomly in the stands with Hagrid, Hermione and Ron.

*Apparently it's part of Harry and Wood's plan for Harry to do the obvious thing any Seeker would do. Reverse psychology.

*One of the Twins' wristwatches flashes so much gold Harry mistakes it for the Snitch. That's some bling, there. Ever-tasteful, those Weasleys.

*Funny how people who have been playing Quidditch for years are suddenly transfixed by a normal part of the game now that Harry's doing it. He's just that good.

*Marcus Flint blocked Harry on purpose! Imagine blocking another player on purpose from winning the game! Luckily it's a Slytherin doing it so it's a foul.

*Ron reminds Dean this isn't football so Flint can't be sent off. Though Dean seemed to remember it wasn't football enough to think that blocking another player was a shocking thing to do in a team sport with goals.

*Hagrid, of course, thinks they should change the rules now that Harry might be knocked out of the air. This while other players are intentionally smacking iron balls at the Chasers.

*Lee goes on about how awful it is that Flint had put someone at risk for falling off their broom. Meanwhile, Harry is almost knocked off his broom by a Bludger and it's business as usual.

*Flint is hit hard in the face with an iron ball which actually would knock him off his broom, and Lee-still not keeping it personal-says he hopes it hurt him. Well, that's understandable. Remember that time the other team was going to get that thing that would win the game and he got in their way?

*Seamus also suggests that Harry's broom being possessed has something to do with Flint blocking him. WHY IS A PLAYER BLOCKING ANOTHER PLAYER SUCH A BIG DEAL?

*Btw, interfering with a broom is powerful Dark Magic. In case there was any doubt that the term Dark Magic was defined by Gryffindors.

*Hermione goes straight for Snape to see if he's trying to kill Harry. Because she thinks all teachers are saints.

*Flint scores five times without anyone noticing, which is presumably supposed to reflect badly on Flint but really just shows that the referees are brain dead.

*True to her style, JKR did show Hermione's fire spell before she used it on Snape. That's nice.

*Neville's been sobbing for five minutes. Um, wow. Are we sure he's not the one we should be calling Snivellus?

*Sure Harry wasn't able to actually play the Quidditch game, but as he was in the air, on the Pitch and not unconscious he caught the Snitch and they won.

*The narrator, still dazed from the fall from mid air, stumbles back to Harry again as they leave for Hagrid's hut.

*The kids wonder what to tell Hagrid and Harry, being still young and slightly innocent, decides on the truth.

*Hagrid says something dopey. And…scene.





Atomic Grenade
The Gryffindor team's new Seeker is an 11-year-old who's never played a game in his life, but seems to have a knack for flying and catching things in the air. Wood calls him a secret weapon-he must be an atomic grenade.

Hero's Death Battle Exemption
If he hadn't been chosen as Seeker, Harry would have had quite a career in the air rodeo.

Idiot Picture
Hagrid's very handy to have around when you can't come up with any other way to give everyone a clue.

Idiot World
The fact that Hagrid is part of the inner circle of power in the WW, of course, does not bode well.

Informed Attributes
That Flint is a dirty cheater. Let the other team score, you bastard!

POV Shots
All over the place.

Final score: 6

Signs of things to come: If Gryffindor wins the match, they'll be second for the house cup. Because I just decided they would be. Harry's really lucky to have Hermione as a friend, because she thinks you do your friends' homework. So we can trace Harry's loss of interest in all things academic to Quidditch. Ron accuses Hermione of thinking all teachers are saints, which is the first of those Ron lines where he talks like Hermione's a better person than she is (the best being his accusation that she's so noble she thinks everyone else is too). Harry has a whole scene of not even paying attention to the game or being able to play, so the Snitch helpfully just jumps into his mouth. Once Hermione's your friend, she'll totally break or bend the rules for you-the girl was born to be a Weasley. Hagrid: still an idiot.

Comments

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

I dare someone to submit a story featuring this to a Brit-picking community.

Perhaps they're saying that if they don't win the game and Harry isn't declared the best they're going to break away to form their own colony and declare Harry their leader so they can put his face on all the money.

Isn’t this the hardened coach who screeches that she’s never seen such tactics at Malfoy holding a broom, and restrains herself to a fairly sedate ‘That will do!’ when Fred throws his bat at Flint’s face?)

Isn't it interesting the way we hear all this stuff about how rough Quidditch is and yet it seems like the slightest, most obvious thing any Slytherin player does to keep someone from scoring is always so off the chart it's never been seen before? Wouldn't people grab brooms and block all the time?

And don't forget Flitwick beaming over Harry's broom a few chapters ago.

Oh, right, it disappears when it’s one of their own who gets harmed instead of doing the harming.)

And yet a few years from now Harry will be knocked unconscious by his own Keeper with little fuss.

PS. the whole crowd were worried? Really? Even the three-quarters of them presumably rooting for slimy Slytherin? What, the rest of his team weren’t at least taking the opportunity to throw Bludgers at Fred’s heads, or looking for the Snitch? Man, no wonder they sacked this Seeker.)

Only Malfoy even found it funny he caught the Snitch in his mouth. Everyone else could see his amazing staying-on power was no laughing matter.

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

the slightest, most obvious thing any Slytherin player does to keep someone from scoring is always so off the chart it's never been seen before? Wouldn't people grab brooms and block all the time?

Not if they had any sportsmanship about them! They'd be too busy doing totally regular, everyday fair stuff like ramming the commentators, threatening the referees, hexing the team and clubbing people in the face. Oh, and using cunning tactics like insulting the other Seeker, which is tricky - it has to be bad in CoS, but then clever and witty in HBP.
(Didn't we work out once in the OotP reread that basically any kind of defensive action in Quidditch is a foul, since the Gryffindors are usually the ones going for the goal?)

And yet a few years from now Harry will be knocked unconscious by his own Keeper with little fuss.

I guess right now everyone still knows Harry as The Saviour of the WW and TBWL. After six years of living with him, the idea of him getting hurt probably isn't that offputting anymore.

Everyone else could see his amazing staying-on power was no laughing matter.

Oh, I remember that! Isn't Draco making fun of Harry's catch (apparently he took the place of poor lone Flint, as the only person in the whole of Hogwarts not impressed/concerned with THE NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE!1!!) and obviously failing to recognise how much talent it must take to lie there and accidentally catch a tiny ball in your mouth, and not like, choke to death? You need the author to make it so and everything! Dude, fluke wins are srs business!
(Except sadly the narrator just switches the focus again, to Harry's staying on his broom, which I'm sure is amazing, and yet less amazing than when he stayed on it in CoS after the Bludgers, or PoA when he stayed on it after the Dementors, or GoF after the dragon.
I, like Draco, am clearly so emotionally crippled that I'm unable to be impressed with Harry's ever more amazing stunts. How sad. :( Pray for me.)