PS Chapter Thirteen

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

*Ron cheerfully points out that Dumbledore was apparently right and the Mirror of Erised has driven Harry mad. How can you not love Ron?

*How does Hermione get back to school after Christmas? The kids never take the train back at Christmas, and she doesn’t have access to floos and Portkeys, does she?

*Harry’s almost given up hope of finding Nicolas Flamel in a library book. Which is really hilarious. A Muggle kid would have found out about three minutes after he wanted to know. No wonder Wizards don’t seem to do fiction—reference books are hard enough for them until someone invents an index spell.

*If Gryffindor can beat Hufflepuff they’ll overtake Slytherin for the first time in seven years. Those must have been the same seven years that Percy Weasley was being born over and over in a time loop, years now completely lost to the continuum and so impossible to fit into the canon we have.

* Gryffindor is angry at Snape refereeing, presuming he’s unfair, and yet Oliver also trusts that if they play a clean game he won’t be able to take points. Quite different from the position of Slytherin, who could have played the fairest game ever for the House Cup and still don’t have a chance. (Though people have explained to me that since they are Slytherin they *must* have cheated, and so it’s automatically fair to make sure they lose.)

*Hermione always loses at chess, which Harry and Ron think is very good for her. I, however, can’t help but be unsurprised that the thing that Ron’s randomly good at and Hermione is randomly bad it is something with no meaning outside the game. In real life it’s actually Hermione who treats people like chess pieces, not Ron.

*Harry tells them about Snape’s sudden, sinister desire to be referee. LOL! Snape—the villain who wants to be umpire! Im in ur Quidditch game, callin ur foulz!

*I’m going to assume that Ron’s suggestion that Harry really break his leg to avoid playing Quidditch is proof of Ron’s Seer abilities—omg Ron breaks his leg two books from now!

*Harry, of course, can’t do that because there’s no reserve Seeker. There’s no other person who could possibly perform this most straightforward task on the Quidditch field until Ginny Weasley II comes to town.

*Neville hops into the room explaining that he ran into Malfoy outside the library and he said he’d been looking for someone to practice the leg-locker on. This is a totally horrible type of thing for Malfoy to do at 11 (though I’m sure his delivery of the line was funny). It is, of course, a completely fine thing for Harry to be doing at 16 with toenail growing curses and such.

*Though of course the leg-locker would have been funny if Fred had done it. Especially if he’d done it to Malfoy himself.

*Interesting that when Ron says that Neville’s got to stand up to Malfoy, he means he should report him to McGonagall.

*If I were Neville, I’d probably be wanting the Trio to just piss off, myself. He doesn’t really care about what the Slytherins think of him, but he works hard to do whatever he has to do to be a Gryffindor and it really doesn’t work.

*Regardless, make sure to note this example of Malfoy bullying Neville—blink and you’ll miss it. Or worse file it with all those other times when Gryffindors hex people and it’s funny, since the Gryffindors thought it was funny.

*Nice example of house bias here, in that Malfoy has apparently insulted Neville (or made Neville feel insecure) by suggesting he doesn’t have enough courage to be in Gryffindor—as if Gryffindor is too good for Neville. Harry counters by pointing out that even if Neville isn’t quite as Gryffindor as Harry, he has still been Sorted into the superior house. I think it’s only in fanfic where the Slytherins have bias against Gryffindor to match the Gryffindor’s bias against Slytherins. In canon they insult individuals of the House, but respect the house just fine. Nobody within canon seems to see the standard Gryffindor flaws.

*Neville opens a chocolate frog that Harry gives him. The chocolate frog jumps out and beats Harry over the head with the Dumbledore/Nicolas Flamel card. He’s been sitting in the wrapper for weeks thinking the idiot child would never figure out who the guy was even with a whole library at his disposal.

*Not that this keeps Harry from announcing that he’s found Flamel as if Flamel wasn’t just dropped into his lap.

*Anyway, now that Harry’s got the card Hermione can suddenly open up a book she’s been reading that also talks about Flamel that she just, uh, never thought of checking.

*Ron and Harry look mystified at mention of the Philosopher’s Stone. If I were reading the American version I would here point out that they had every reason to be confused by what Hermione said, because there’s no such thing as a Sorcerer’s Stone.

*Ron says it’s no wonder they didn’t find Flamel in books about recent history because he’s really old. Which sounds like it makes sense, until you remember that "recent" doesn’t mean "young," so as long as Flamel’s alive you’d think you’d hear about him—if only with regards to younger Wizards also studying Philosopher Stone-related things.

*First reference to werewolf bites, with different ways of treating them. Are any of these ways supposed to keep you from being a werewolf, I wonder?

*Btw, interesting thing for an 11-year-old to be studying. Harry doesn’t seem to have any first aid skills whatsoever, yet here he is in first year studying how to treat werewolf bites?

*Harry and Ron continue discussing the Stone while they copy down these methods in DADA. Which I guess means that if Harry ever gets bitten by a werewolf he’ll deserve it for talking in class that day when they studied them.

*Nope, sorry. Not buying it. After six books of "And then Gryffindor won despite the snow and Slytherin lost. And then Gryffindor won despite Harry having no legs and Slytherin lost. And then Gryffindor won despite the entire team having diphtheria and Slytherin wasn’t even in the running…" I’m not buying this, "Oh my, could somebody really challenge Slytherin? They never have for seven whole years—and the referee's biased!" Babies born next week can already see Gryffindor's going to win.

*Ooh. Harry sometimes has the horrible feeling that Snape can read minds. And it ends the little section of text and everything. Mwahahaha! He can!

*Harry knew, when Ron and Hermione wished him good luck before his school sports game, that they were wondering if they’d ever see him alive again. Because that’s what life is like when you’re a Gryffindor. In Saxon times Gryffindors bid farewell by saying, "Weladauþe, saz þat brytz. Uþarba spa," or "May one or both of us die heroically before we get a chance to run into each other again."

* Ron and Hermione have taken Malfoy’s idea about the leg-locker curse and want to use it on Snape if he looks like he might be thinking about hurting Harry. Thanks, Malfoy!

*Ron’s already telling Hermione not to nag. That marriage will be fun.

*Wood’s now on Harry’s side, though I don’t know exactly what the sides are or why everyone’s taken them. Surely it’s a given all the Gryffindors want to win and hate Snape?

*Everyone’s shocked Dumbledore’s at a Quidditch game. Sure the guy doesn’t usually take an interest in students but it’s Harry’s big game against Slytherin!

*Malfoy pokes Ron in the back of the head and says he didn’t see him. Malfoy’s actually funnier than I remember him. Not funny meaning witty, just a regular that kind of kid.

*Snape takes a point from Gryffindor for smacking a bludger at the referee. Remember it’s Snape who's the one that’s outrageously biased.

*Now Snape’s awarding Hufflepuff a point for no reason at all. Though in this game I don’t know how anyone could say that for sure.

*Malfoy is already bored with having to sit in the stands and not be the center of attention, so begins needling Ron incessantly.

*Neville tells Malfoy he’s worth twelve of him and Malfoy and his friends crack up, probably because it sounds like something incredibly pompous only Harry would say.

*Of course, even Harry didn’t mean Neville was valuable. He’d just rather have 12 Nevilles than one Malfoy, because Malfoy’s so annoying.

*This re-read of PS is really amazing, actually. The Slytherins keep coming across as better than I remember them, and I don’t think it’s just a case of their getting worse in later books so they seem harmless now.

*When Ron wrestles Malfoy to the ground, Neville hesitates, then joins in. He hesitated because he had to silence the part of him that said that two-against-one might be unnecessary by reminding himself that in order to be accepted he’d better fling himself into fights.

*Harry’s broken another record by catching the Snitch quickly. Yes, in the entire history of Quidditch there has never been a time when the little ball thingie happened to pop out early and be caught by one of the people waiting to catch it.

*It’s a good thing Quidditch is over now, because JKR is really stretching it to find ways that Harry does something amazing nobody’s ever done before. If we had a game in the next book she’d been down to, "No one had ever caught the Snitch when the pollen count was this high! Never!"

*I’ll bet in many of the later books JKR was wishing she hadn’t already used that "and Harry caught the Snitch and the game ended fast" already.

*Obviously this game took place back when you just had to beat people instead of the later, more complicated, idea that you had to earn lots of points or else you could win the game and lose the cup.

*I’m really embarrassed for Hermione now. Jumping up and down over Gryffindor winning the game. Why must she embarrass herself trying to talk about Quidditch?

*Dumbledore comes down to personally congratulate Harry. Snape spits on the ground. Along with the entire rest of the student body, especially those not in Gryffindor.

*That "We probably won’t see you alive again" scene was a bit anti-climactic, wasn’t it? It must have been awkward when they were all walking back to school ten minutes later, right as rain.

*Harry keeps his broom in the broom shed? Not in his room?

*Harry’s really done something to be proud of now. Caught a gold ball out of the air in the most forgettable school Quidditch match in history.

*Ron’s cheering through a heavy nosebleed—which proves that Malfoy can’t fight.

*I love that Harry is living a fictional drama in his mind where Snape is obsessed with destroying his Quidditch career.

*Snape’s got a prowling walk. And people wonder why people think he’s teh sex? The man ought to have a man with a synthesizer walking behind him providing his theme music.

*Damn, that’s a good sinister conversation Harry half-overhears between Snape and Quirrel.

*It’s a victory all around, because not only did Harry catch the Snitch but Ron and Neville both randomly leapt on some annoying Slytherins and tried to beat them up. Ron got a bloody nose and Neville’s unconscious. You said it Ron—that’s showing Slytherin! I’m sure Malfoy will think about you as he sends his robes to the dry-cleaners to get your blood out of them.

*Too bad by the time Neville wakes up he’ll be forgotten again.





Designated Hero
So you think Snape’s trying to bully Quirrel into giving up the Stone, Harry? Don’t suppose you’d consider alerting Dumbledore to that fact? No, probably better to guard that secret and assume this is a job for the sixth graders.

Idiot World
The Trio is wrong about Snape and Quirrel, of course, but how sad that they live in a world where the Philosopher’s Stone really could conceivably be guarded by a single nervous teacher.

Informed Attributes
Slytherin’s hard to beat, Gryffindor’s the underdog and Harry broke some sort of record by doing something he does regularly in practice.

Nut o’ Fun
Snape asked Quirrel to meet him out in the forest? I think he was just hoping for some nuts o’fun out there to spice things up. I mean, you live in a castle full of secret places and closed offices. Do you really need to rendezvous under the sinister sycamore in the misty murky forest?

Final score: 4

Signs of things to come: Harry realizes he has fewer nightmares when he’s tired out from Quidditch training: physical exertion>mental. The Gryffindors and Slytherins get bad ideas from each other to use in the ongoing battle. Angered by Slytherin needling, the Gryffindors go at it heroically two-against-one. Neville endangers himself with no rewards.

Comments

[papier.livejournal.com]

Ron and Harry look mystified at mention of the Philosopher’s Stone. If I were reading the American version I would here point out that they had every reason to be confused by what Hermione said, because there’s no such thing as a Sorcerer’s Stone.

Poor dumb American kids who are certain to have no idea what a Philosopher's stone is. The fact that I, as a thirteen-year old English girl, had no idea what a Philosopher's stone was on my first read, means nothing of course.
I guess the idea is that 'Philosopher's' didn't sound as sparkly and marketable as 'Sorcerer's'.

Malfoy is already bored with having to sit in the stands and not be the center of attention, so begins needling Ron incessantly.

R/D OTP!!

I’m really embarrassed for Hermione now. Jumping up and down over Gryffindor winning the game. Why must she embarrass herself trying to talk about Quidditch?

I think it's pretty funny that she's actually cheering like it was a big surprise they won the game. Surely at the end of book 6 even the Gryffinjocks would grow bored of the continuous mindless victories?

I love that Harry is living a fictional drama in his mind where Snape is obsessed with destroying his Quidditch career.

I'd forgotten how strong his paranoia issues were even in the first book. Kid needs therapy.

[saylee.livejournal.com]

I'd forgotten how strong his paranoia issues were even in the first book. Kid needs therapy.

First thing I'd do if I was in charge of that world: recruit some mental health professionals. It would do wonders.

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

R/D OTP!!

'Ron was on top of him' is pretty strong evidence already, but count in that this is like the second time in as many chapters that he's leapt on Malfoy, and I'm thinking you have a rock solid case.

I think it's pretty funny that she's actually cheering like it was a big surprise they won the game. Surely at the end of book 6 even the Gryffinjocks would grow bored of the continuous mindless victories?

The Gryffindors would be like, ten times more likeable (what, 10x0 is still O! Naw, I kid, Percy, Lavender and Parvati save the house for me.) if they didn't combine their Sue/Stu style Most Popular/Smartest/Talented/Prettiest Kids in School OMG!1!! with an inexplicable martyr complex.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

I guess the idea is that 'Philosopher's' didn't sound as sparkly and marketable as 'Sorcerer's'.

Well, we all know American kids hate Spinoza, so they didn't want to take the chance of having Philosopher in the title.