PS Chapter Fifteen

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

*Those lovable scamp kids must set off to the Forbidden Forest on their own, since Dumbledore warned everyone how dangerous is was. God knows no one from the school would allow them anywhere near it! It’s right there in the name!

*Things couldn’t be worse. Hermione’s trembling and they’re going to get detention. This is so unfair. Why can’t they get the kind of detention that’s funny, like Malfoy gets?

*The tallest Astronomy Tower is out of bounds except for classes and underage sex.

*I guess the fact that I wish Harry would tell McGonagall he was only trying to solve a problem Hagrid the Idiot created makes me a Slytherin.

*You have to love McGonagall for thinking Harry tried to trick Malfoy (using Malfoy’s curiosity etc.) and giving him detention for it. Several teachers would have given him a wink and a smile. Or award him the House Cup in a way particularly galling to Malfoy. Which I’m not ruling out for future.

*Why is Neville looking hurt at Harry? Even if Harry had fed Malfoy the story he obviously didn’t do it to trick Neville. It’s not his fault Neville is afraid of being out of bed in the dark. Nobody’s giving Malfoy points for courage for doing the same thing.

*Four students out of bed! McGonagall’s never heard of such a thing before! How long has McGonagall been teaching? Because the most commonplace things regularly bowl her over.

*Is there some reason why it’s especially dangerous to walk around Hogwarts at night "these days"? (As opposed to the year when Voldemort’s back and there’s a curfew and Dumbledore’s giving Harry special assignments that require it?)

*Harry loses 50 points—the same ones he won during the Quidditch match! Why even pretend this competition isn’t all about him?

*Well, they’ve ruined any chance of Gryffindor winning the House Cup. Really. I can’t see any way they’d catch up now. None at all.

*Snevillus is sobbing again.

*From being one of the most popular and admired people in the school, Harry went to being the most hated. Which pretty much goes with the territory of being the most popular and admired. Not that this makes Harry popular. He’s kind of an outcast. A very popular, admired outcast.

*Ron stands by him, apparently being the only kid in school who’s realized the House Cup really doesn’t matter. Make that the only Gryffindor. It’s hard to believe Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw still care. Or at least Ravenclaw.

*If they gave points for being petty and childish, the Gryffindor Quidditch team alone would win the House the Cup.

*Nobody will speak to Neville and Hermione. Which is shocking, because it suggests people other than Harry and Ron spoke to them at one time.

*A week later, Harry’s resolution to not meddle in things is put to the test. Go Harry! That’s my boy!

*Without the Goblins it appears Wizards would have not only no banking but no history classes.

*Harry sees Quirrel leave a room crying and tying his turban, which all but proves Snape must have just been in the empty room with him. It’s a shame Harry can’t produce theories for his own fandom. He’d fit right in!

*Harry finds Hermione quizzing Ron on Astronomy. This is one of the weirdest things about Ron. Everything about him indicates that he’s a boy who would probably hang out with other boys a lot, yet instead he’s been sentenced to 6 years in school with no hint that he’s ever spent the afternoon in a pickup game, or just spent the day with boys his age. When he’s not with Harry he’s always sitting with a humorless nagging girl doing homework. Don’t buy it. Hermione’s been established as having a reason to not have other friends. Ron should realistically have more.

*Ron reckons Snape’s figured out how to get past Fluffy without asking Hagrid. Hagrid…Hagrid…where have I heard that name? Oh yeah! That’s the guy who’s caused all the misery we’ve been hearing about this chapter! Funny we haven’t heard him mentioned until now, like perhaps in a description of the scene where he apologizes to Harry, or one where he goes to McGonagall and admits it was his fault.

*Hermione suggests Harry go to Dumbledore with his ideas about Quirrel, and Harry says they can’t as they have no proof. Harry doesn’t know much about Wizarding justice if he thinks proof is important.

*Just kidding. I know Harry doesn’t care about proof either. He’s just not letting anybody make him go to an adult with important information. You don’t get to be The Chosen One doing reasonable things like that!

*Harry further explains DD will never believe him about Snape, as it’s no secret Harry hates him, so he might think Harry made stuff up to validate his own hatred. Which Harry would never do. A lot. Or make a hobby of.

*Harry then goes on to smear more reputations in his Quest to Grab The Glory For Protecting the Philosopher’s Stone himself. Filch is too much in league with the evil guy to do the right thing, and also getting random kids expelled is a personal goal of his.

*Still, that’s better than just calling him a sneakin’ Squib.

*Whoa. Minor case of whiplash at the end of the scene. Harry says they should poke around themselves. Hermione says they should go to Dumbledore instead. Harry gives a passionate speech about why they can’t go to Dumbledore. Ron reasonably suggests they poke around just enough so that they can go to Dumbledore. Harry nixes poking around entirely. *shakes head with cartoon noises indicating confusion*

*Harry and Hermione feel they deserve what they got with their detention. Whoa—what? Harry actually thinking he deserves detention (as opposed to fandom just describing him as thinking he deserves detention)? Does someone have a camera to capture this? It’s like a sighting of the Loch Ness Monster.

*Harry had forgotten Malfoy got detention too. But he has remembered Malfoy’s name—or one of them—which is something.

*Well, now that the kids are all in detention together I supposed they’ll bond. Bwahahaha! Just kidding. I meant all except the Slytherin, of course.

*Wait, Hagrid is GIVING the detention? What, is this his reward for so efficiently making other people pay for his dumb and dangerous actions? It’s a good thing Ron was in the infirmary for this caper. I feel sure Ron would have spoken up on this one. ("When Filch leaves, we’ll all have some tea in your hut and when you get back you tell everyone we had our detention. Otherwise you’ll be getting reported to Magical Animal Control, capice?")

*Although Hagrid won’t actually own up to his responsibility for all this and apologize, he will at least show that out of this group he favors Harry and Hermione. That makes it all worth it, I’m sure.

*Oh, and he’ll also put down Filch, accusing him of being late because he was lecturing him. Gee Hagrid, maybe he was late because he was skiving off his job to take care of a new kitten or something.

*Filch will be back at …dawn??

*Sorry, I must have hallucinated for a moment. I thought Hagrid just told Malfoy, the 11-year-old who displayed panic about going into the forest established as dangerous, that Malfoy had "done wrong" and now "had to pay for it." Either I hallucinated that exchange or I hallucinated the entire storyline about Hagrid’s lawbreaking dragon breeding. Which would at least explain how none of the characters involved in that storyline seem to remember it.

*Hagrid then goes on to lecture the rich boy about doing things that are useful, which would be much more effective if a) he didn’t seem to be suddenly channeling some other character; and b) the "useful" stuff they’re going to be doing wasn’t insane.

*Hagrid doesn’t want anyone taking risks. You mean like the risk Harry and Hermione took to save your sorry—I’m sensing a pattern, here.

*I love the way Malfoy and Ron are two characters constantly running afoul of Hagrid because they’ve been cursed with reason when it comes to this sort of danger. A unicorn’s been ripped apart by some unknown beast roaming the forest. Forgive me if I doubt that whatever that beast is, being with you or Fang gives me impenetrable protection against it.

*Seriously, Malfoy’s the only person in this group asking relative questions (as will be the case in CoMC). Lucius would be proud.

*Harry and Hermione have curiously faded away for a large part of this opening. They have no thoughts about this ridiculous situation.

*Hagrid says they’re going to have to split up. Because the situation wasn’t quite dangerous enough already.

*Hagrid offers himself and Fang as guides. Malfoy picks the one with more brains.

*Hagrid warns Malfoy Fang’s a coward…wtf? So now Fang isn’t protection against the wild animals? Why exactly is Hagrid saying that? Is he resentful that Malfoy didn’t pick him? Does he just automatically tease Malfoy because he’s Malfoy? Has he been instructed that part of the detention is scaring everybody?

*Green sparks=found a unicorn. Red sparks=have had throat ripped out by wild beast. Got it.

*Who here wouldn’t trust Hagrid to remember his own color code? *Raises hand*

*Now that Harry, Hermione and Hagrid are alone surely Hagrid’s going to apologize for getting them into this mess. Surely. Any minute now.

*Okay, he doesn’t apologize, but he does basically admit that he has no idea what they’re facing and there’s a good chance Neville and Malfoy especially will be dead by morning.

*When you see Hagrid heroically picking Harry and Hermione up and throwing them behind a tree to protect them, be sure to remember that Neville and Malfoy are bumbling along somewhere on their own.

*Harry meets a centaur, but it’s pretty boring. No hint yet of their violent natures.

*Harry’s Malfoy hatred is wonderfully consistent. They see red sparks and Harry makes sure to mention he doesn’t care if Malfoy has gotten hurt.

*Malfoy sneaked up on Neville as a joke. Exactly as the Twins or the Marauders would have done. But when Malfoy does it it’s incredibly evil (so I’ve heard). After all, he must have done something really dreadful to make Neville send up sparks. It’s not like Neville’s super jumpy and prone to having his wand go off half-cocked. (And people wonder why Neville gets relatively little play in fanfic.)

*Must be hallucinating again. Hagrid just called somebody an idiot.

*Hagrid also complains about the two 11-year-olds dragged into the dangerous forest in the middle of the night making a racket. Because it’s endearing for a 60-year-old man to act like a six-year-old, but 11-year-olds acting their age is right out. (This goes double for 13-year-olds.)

*Hagrid does manage to apologize to Harry for sticking him with Malfoy, because Hagrid not only acts like a child, he acts like a Harry Potter suck-up child.

*Harry and Malfoy walk together for half an hour, doing perfectly well. I’m going to pathetically file this away under Proof That They And Their Houses Can Work Together Fine. Malfoy’s not trying to scare Harry. Come on, the Gryffindors all seem to have admitted to themselves that Neville sends some sort of pheromone that compels people to pick on him.

*Malfoy is actually pretty fine through this whole detention. Neville shooting up panicky sparks was inevitable no matter who he was with, and he shows strange restraint walking along with Harry for a half hour without speaking. Malfoy’s apparently forgotten the whole dragon storyline too. I call Memory Charm!

*Proving just how good the idea of bringing children in to do this job, Harry and Malfoy run into Voldemort. I suppose Hagrid won’t be admitting he was wrong about this one either.

*Malfoy and Fang run away—oh, I guess this was why Hagrid stuck in the word "coward" to describe Fang. All part of trying make reasonable behavior something to be ashamed of. To paraphrase a wiser wizard than Dumbledore he’s saying that simply because they run away from danger, they have no courage. He’s is confusing courage with wisdom.

*Capslock!Malfoy. Much rarer than the Potter version. Reserved for moments like this.

*Harry’s left alone. Somebody walks out of the woods and tells him he’s special. Centaurs only focus on big things. Like Mars and Harry Potter.

*Only when one has nothing to lose and everything to gain would one slay a unicorn. So people do it a lot then? Because I could imagine a lot of Wizards getting to that stage. Perhaps in detention, for instance.

*So when you kill a unicorn you’ve killed something pure and defenseless to save yourself and will have a half life and a cursed life. Any description of how that kind of life differs from a non-unicorn eating life? Because you just described Sirius Black.

*Hermione and Hagrid come running up to see if Harry’s all right. So that’s Hagrid, Hermione and Harry accounted for…um…anybody know what happened to Neville and Malfoy? Particularly Malfoy, last seen running blindly through the forest with the dog? Perhaps he’ll turn up in the toilet in a few days like Montague.

*On the upside, Harry gets to go all emo to Ron describing what the stars say about him and how all the centaurs are against him.

*True to form, he doesn’t think of questioning Hagrid’s judgment just because someone might have died.

*Dumbledore gives Harry back his invisibility cloak, seeing that he used it to such good purpose before. And I guess because he’s seen how well Harry looks after it.





The Cricket Rule

Day-for-Night
Naturally.

Designated Hero
Hagrid’s getting designated up the arse in this chapter.

Foley Work
Slither. Clip Clop. Swish. Suck.

IITS
The official IITS example is "Why is she wandering around when there’s a killer on the loose?" But it might as well have been, "If you see a trail of blood in a forest full of wild animals, why would you follow it—or send two children to do so?"

Idiot World
Yes we need Harry Potter to be alive to defeat the Dark Lord one day, but if he’s found wandering a corridor after midnight what other kind of punishment could we come up with than a potentially deadly one?

Misdirected Answering
Err…what happened to Neville and Malfoy? Did they get sucked into another dimension?


Final score: 7

Signs of things to come: Things that are funny when they happen to a Slytherin are tragic beyond all words to tell it when they happen to Gryffindor. The kids are studying goblin rebellions, as they will be for the next 7 years. Hagrid undermines the anti-Voldemort protections, gets Harry and Hermione into trouble and then screws them over, and comes out as the symbol of innocence and friendship. Everything revolves around Harry. Supporting characters, even when they were important a second ago, can disappear in a puff of smoke if something more important comes along. Foreshadowing of Hermione’s disdain for fortune-telling.

Comments

[sarahtales.livejournal.com]

I know, it soothes me. The Leglocker curse did happen, so I was always a little scared that Draco was Bullying Neville Somewhere Offstage, and much cheered by OotP where Draco was like 'And you, suddenly-frothing-at-the-mouth-boy, WOULD BE?'