POA Chapter 5

[kaskait.livejournal.com]

The Dementor


*Tom, the hotel keep, wakes up Harry and serves him tea in bed. Tom has no teeth. I guess the WW can't be bothered to waste time fighting dental caries. Hence there is no equivalent of St. Mungos for dental care. I don't know about anyone else but that "stitches" speech by the ever wonderful Ginnyjosue has taken on a darker tone.

*Maybe that is how Tom pulls in the DE crowd. He promises them good dental and health care plans.

*For heavens sake WW, use the non-magical fluoride toothpaste at least!

*Maybe THAT is why Hermione's parents are dentists. Hermione is planning to subjugate the WW with toothbrushes. Watch out Tom, there is a new sheriff in town and she fights cavities!

*Ron comes into Harry's room complaining about Percy. Of course, Percy is the cause of all the Weasely troubles. Arthur can't get a better job? Obviously its due to Percy breathing.

*Ron has ruined Percy's photo of Penelope. Which reminds me, Percy is the only Weasely who has a normal relationship. He keeps her picture, talks to her and doesn't fight with her, treats her as an equal, and defends her to his family. Good man, Percy. I hope you have a better family with Penelope then the one you originated from. I think the jury is still out on Bill. I haven't noticed him defending Fleur to them.

*Molly is giving GinnyJoSue and Hermione love potion ideas. But it will take two books before they try them out. Arthur is getting very angry about the chatter. Hmmmmm, I wonder why?

*I wonder if the Twins used Molly's old love potion recipes when they started their wonderwitch line?

*The Ron vs Hermione pet war has begun. Remember, this is love. Hermione loves Ron to no end and to show it she purchased an animal that tries to eat his rat.

*They all drive to the train station in swanky, very normal looking cars. However the driver is dressed in Emerald Velvet. I think he kind of ruins the low profile approach.

*Maybe the WW is hoping that old saw about dogs being colorblind is true.

*Arthur shows what a cool guy he was before Molly got her hands on him. He teaches Harry to lean on the barrier instead of running at it. I wonder why he never taught his own children to do that? Or maybe he enjoyed laughing at Molly's crazy ideas and how foolish they all looked.

*Arthur and Harry slip thru the barrier like international spies of cool. However Molly wasn't going to have Arthur show her up. She sends Percy and Ginny through in the regular sprint. They come out like a bunch of yokels and ruin Arthur and Harry's scene.

*Arthur gives Harry the scoop on Sirius Black. Which is a good thing considering everyone else was perfectly willing to let him go on in blissful ignorance.

*They all enter the train and Ron utters my favorite line in the whole series.

"Go Away, Ginny," said Ron.

*I notice that Ginny's love, Harry, and her best friend, Hermione, don't naysay Ron's order.

"Go Away, Ginny," said Ron. Sigh. I'll never tire of it.

*The only compartment available contains a sleeping vagrant with torn robes and a pale face.

*The kids decide to sit with him anyway.

*Hermione discovers his name on his own suitcase, Prof. R.J. Lupin. They spend some time gossiping about him and the DADA job.

*Harry's sneakoscope goes wild.

*Ron admits to Harry that he gave him a cheap gift.

*Hermione and Ron wax poetic on Hogsmeade. Dammit, Harry can't go to Hogsmeade! Ron tells him that he can ask for the Twins help. Hermione puts the stop sign on that idea.

*Harry shouldn't be out and about when there are two psychopaths after him. Wait, make that three psychopaths. We can't forget GinnyJoSue of the flaming hair.

"Go Away, Ginny," said Ron. Its like music to the ears.

*Hermione lets out Crookshanks. Crookshanks decides to eat Scabbers. Ahhh, now thats amore.

*The kids buy sweets from the sweet cart and try to wake up Lupin. They can't and they all wonder if he is dead. But no, he breathes. Probably dreaming about that perfect woman who likes to hang around with teens, thinks turning her nose into a pig snout is a wonderful way to impress a guy, wears pink hair at funerals and causes scenes in hospital rooms. Run, Lupin, run far away before Dumpeydope decides to turn your life into a living hell.

*Malfoy comes to the compartment to heckle the trio. He utters what we are all thinking, did Molly die of the shock of getting all that gold? Good one, Draco. Well played.

*Of course, Lupin's presence scares away Malfoy and any possibility of more good humor.

*The train stops and the lights go out. Unfortunately, the writer has decided to randomly throw Ginny into the mix.

"Go Away, Ginny," said Ron. Oh, how I wish.

Ginny reminds me of that Simpsons episode in which Homer decides to be Ned Flanders friend. Ned spent the whole episode finding Homer following him around and appearing in unlikely places. Like in his bushes. Or she could be Spongebob Squarepants in that episode in which he was worshipping his favorite idol. He spent that episode screaming, "I'm your biggest FAN!"

*Oh, Neville is there too. Still trying to make an impression.

*The Dementor (or Nazgul appearing courtesy of LOTR) comes into the compartment and tries to suck Harry's face off. Lupin stops it but unfortunately for us, he wasn't around in book 6.

*Lupin gives Harry chocolate to eat. Lupin seems to carry a lot of it. Hmmmm, vagranty looking man with big bars of chocolate in his pockets. Maybe that is the key to picking up women with pig snouts for noses. But this isn't about FAT. Not at all.

*Of course Neville blabs to Draco that Harry has Dementor fainting spells. Lupin ruins the funny once again.

*Prof McGonagall calls Harry and Hermione for a special meeting. Thereby reminding Ron how unspecial he is and he watches them walk off together.

*Plot point scene as it were. Harry goes through the "I'm not a weakling but the chosen one" act. Mcgonagall sends him away but asks him to wait for Hermione. Hint!

*Ron begs Harry for a few breadcrumbs of knowledge but is interrupted by Dumbledore. Dumbledore states that the Dementors will be hanging around all year, can't be fooled by magic and like to suck people's faces off. But never mind that! Welcome Lupin! and Hagrid! whoo hoo.

*The school breaks out into thunderous applause for Hagrid. Applause that they will all live to regret. Oh yes, they will.

*Run, Lupin, run before the pig snouted woman gets a hold of you. There is still time. Noone will think less of you for it.

*Harry notices Snape giving Lupin evil looks. But of course Snape is acting all evil for Harry's benefit. How will Dopeydumps get the Chosen one to do anything crazy without Snape to egg him on?

*As usual Neville will never remember this year's password.

*Yes and one last time:

"Go Away, Ginny," said Ron.

Comments

[ellecain.livejournal.com]

Maybe that is how Tom pulls in the DE crowd. He promises them good dental and health care plans.

Ha! Voldemort gives more benefits, huh? Take that Albus, your teeth are probably rotten from all those sherbet lemons eaten over the course of 150 years! Of course, this does not explain Snape's lack of dental hygiene. (OMG, he's Dumbledore's Man! The yellow teeth prove it!)

The school breaks out into thunderous applause for Hagrid. Applause that they will all live to regret. Oh yes, they will.

*Nods* I bet they were glad when DD kicked the bucket. Now they could get a Headmaster who is actually concerned about the kids' education. I don't see McG giving out teaching posts to those she wants personal loyalty from. ('course HP & DH might prove me wrong...)

[kaskait.livejournal.com]

(OMG, he's Dumbledore's Man! The yellow teeth prove it!)

LOL. Yes he convinced half-normal Snape about the ebils of dental floss.