GoF Chapter Two

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

*RiP Frank, but more importantly HARRY’S SCAR HURTS AND HE CAN’T SLEEP! >:-o

*Harry’s a skinny boy of 14—-new readers are thus alerted that he’s possibly not evil, since he’s skinny.

*Whose pov was Harry in during the dream? He doesn’t know who Frank is, so the whole chapter one probably isn’t his dream. He seems to have been in Frank’s pov because he was horrified when Voldemort turned around, but he also knows there was an old man there, so he wasn’t Frank himself. Doesn’t Harry usually have some specific eyes to look through when he sees Voldemort?

*OMG, Voldemort is trying to kill Harry! That’s a shock. But not as shocking as the idea that he and Harry are tied together in some way and Harry will have to kill him. That would really be shocking.

*Harry’s book is described as showing a spectacular goal made by someone putting the ball through a 50 foot hoop. Is it really that spectacular given that the person is flying level with the hoop? I just don’t think Quidditch goals are all that exciting.

*Harry was no stranger to pain and injury, so pain doesn’t bother him. Yeah right. Doesn’t bother him at all. To illustrate, here is a list of all the bad ass injuries Harry has suffered. We may be reminded of Harry's being no stranger to pain and injury again sometime. Just a hunch. *winces manfully*

*Why does Voldemort showing up in Privet Drive seem so bizarre to Harry? There’s really nothing separating the two worlds. I think I’d have been demanding to know why I was left at the Dursleys the second I found out people were out to get me. The Dursleys showing up at Hogwarts would be crazy, but there’s nothing stopping Voldemort from hopping a bus to Privet Drive. Well, except for his having no legs, but Wormtail could hop the bus for him.

*The Dursleys’ dreams are untroubled and painless. What could normal people ever have to have bad dreams about? Especially normal people who’ve had family members blasted away by wizards and are currently against their will being forced to harbor a kid who’s the target of a maniac?

*It’s not like the Dursleys are any help to Harry awake, according to the text. Except for the way they’ve apparently been protecting him his entire life just by living in a house with him. Perhaps Dumbledore should charm them into comas so Harry could get the protection without their having to ever be awake?

*We pause now for a bit of: "Previously, on Harry Potter"

*Voldemort was the most powerful Dark Wizard for a century? Wasn’t Grindenwald incredibly powerful so that only Dumbledore could fight him in 1945? Who’s the one in the previous century who was as good as Voldemort?

*Oh, and also "most powerful Dark Wizard of the century?" The guy who can’t kill a 14-year-old boy in the suburbs?

*Yes, that would be Hermione’s advice: ask an adult who might know how to help you and in the meantime consult a book. It’s really insulting the way Hermione suggests Harry’s problems can be handled like those of mere mortals. And what’s with Ron thinking he could ask his father, who is not an expert in anything curses? Only the greatest grand master of curses—the absolute Yoda of curses—could possibly be qualified to offer an opinion here.

*Can’t you just see Harry taking the same attitude if he got poison ivy or something? Like, deciding that he had some sort of super-magical plague and doubting very much that a book could help him while he lay awake angsting and itching?

*And Hedwig could never possibly find Dumbledore during the summer because why? Does Dumbledore go underground during the summer? Take on a new identity? Vacation on Mars? It’s a magic postal system, Harry. I think they can find one headmaster in the off-month. Harry seems to have never grown out of that second grade astonishment that the teacher has a life outside of school.

*Which, btw: http://www.theonion.com/content/news/teachers_leave_of_absence_shrouded??utm_source=EMTF_Onion

*Seriously, isn’t it great the way Harry’s able to so neatly come up with ways nobody can help him because his problem is just that serious? It’s a bad dream and a headache, Harry. You’re not radioactive.

*The real reason he can’t ask for help is, of course, that he can’t let anyone know he worried for a second. Sure sharing this situation with others might be the responsible thing to do and help them deal with Voldemort and so save lives, but only cowards care about stuff like that. Would you want your life saved if it made Harry look like a sissy in front of the Weasleys? Of course not. It’s really the Weasleys fault Harry can’t tell. He’s just protecting them from anxiety.

*What Harry really needs is someone like a parent. Um, Harry? Remember the way you worried that Mrs. Weasley would fuss and anxiously ask about your scar? That would be "someone like a parent."

*Okay, granted, Harry’s right in that he possibly wouldn’t feel as stupid going to a parent. But that’s not because parents care about you and have experience in Dark Magic. It’s because you have no dignity to lose around your parents. These are the people who changed your diapers.

*Sirius! He’s just like a parent. Meaning that he’s going to die soon so Harry’s got to sound deeply dependent on him really fast.

*We still haven’t finished with the "Previously, on Harry Potter…"

*Only Dumbledore believes the story about Sirius, and curiously, he’s not doing anything to get the word out. I guess because in the wizarding world nobody believes anything just because it’s coming from a source they trust. The wizarding world is driven by the search for evidence and a healthy skepti…BWAHAHAHA! Sorry, couldn’t get through that with a straight face.

*The Dursleys now let Harry have his stuff in his room because they were scared by Sirius. Two years later the Order will have supposedly put the Dursleys in their place by scaring them at a train station. It’s hard making sure the Dursleys are completely triumphed over at the end of the book while standing with their metaphoric boot on Harry’s neck at the beginning of the next. It would be so much easier if only they were Slytherins and we could just hex them and never mention it again.

*Sirius has been sending tropical birds with letters during the summer. Somehow they managed to find Surrey, yet Hedwig couldn’t find Dumbledore if he was at the beach.

*Sirius sounds cheerful. Well, Dumbledore will soon take care of that.

*It’s okay this summer, says Harry, as the Dursleys live in a constant state of fear that Sirius will show up and turn them into bats. Except when they’re asleep and their dreams are untroubled and painless.

*Good job Harry, for telling an adult about your problem. But leaving out the important bits, like the part where your scar hurt right after you got to listen in on Voldemort’s private conversation in your dream? Kind of undermines the whole idea. Dr. House is right. People lie at the strangest times.



Idiot Picture
Here’s a quick run-down of all the intelligent things I should do right now, and how I’m not going to do any of them.

Idiot World
Most powerful Dark Wizard in a century? Really?

Informed Attributes
Yes, most powerful Dark Wizard in a century.

IITS
Look, Harry has to keep this dream quiet, okay? He can’t start doing research or asking adults who can help him. Besides, we’ve got to start pushing this Sirius-as-parent thing fast. The guy doesn’t have long to live and he has to share the stage with a cast of thousands.

Misdirected Answering
It’s pointless wasting space in a letter to tell Sirius about my glimpse of Voldemort’s secret planning session, but I must be sure to tell him about the window of time between my writing the letter and sending it, due to the fact that Hedwig is out hunting. Can’t have Sirius thinking I sent the letter immediately. That would be dishonest.

POV Shots
Notable for Harry not telling us exactly whose pov we were in.

Final score: 6