GoF Chapter Two

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

*RiP Frank, but more importantly HARRY’S SCAR HURTS AND HE CAN’T SLEEP! >:-o

*Harry’s a skinny boy of 14—-new readers are thus alerted that he’s possibly not evil, since he’s skinny.

*Whose pov was Harry in during the dream? He doesn’t know who Frank is, so the whole chapter one probably isn’t his dream. He seems to have been in Frank’s pov because he was horrified when Voldemort turned around, but he also knows there was an old man there, so he wasn’t Frank himself. Doesn’t Harry usually have some specific eyes to look through when he sees Voldemort?

*OMG, Voldemort is trying to kill Harry! That’s a shock. But not as shocking as the idea that he and Harry are tied together in some way and Harry will have to kill him. That would really be shocking.

*Harry’s book is described as showing a spectacular goal made by someone putting the ball through a 50 foot hoop. Is it really that spectacular given that the person is flying level with the hoop? I just don’t think Quidditch goals are all that exciting.

*Harry was no stranger to pain and injury, so pain doesn’t bother him. Yeah right. Doesn’t bother him at all. To illustrate, here is a list of all the bad ass injuries Harry has suffered. We may be reminded of Harry's being no stranger to pain and injury again sometime. Just a hunch. *winces manfully*

*Why does Voldemort showing up in Privet Drive seem so bizarre to Harry? There’s really nothing separating the two worlds. I think I’d have been demanding to know why I was left at the Dursleys the second I found out people were out to get me. The Dursleys showing up at Hogwarts would be crazy, but there’s nothing stopping Voldemort from hopping a bus to Privet Drive. Well, except for his having no legs, but Wormtail could hop the bus for him.

*The Dursleys’ dreams are untroubled and painless. What could normal people ever have to have bad dreams about? Especially normal people who’ve had family members blasted away by wizards and are currently against their will being forced to harbor a kid who’s the target of a maniac?

*It’s not like the Dursleys are any help to Harry awake, according to the text. Except for the way they’ve apparently been protecting him his entire life just by living in a house with him. Perhaps Dumbledore should charm them into comas so Harry could get the protection without their having to ever be awake?

*We pause now for a bit of: "Previously, on Harry Potter"

*Voldemort was the most powerful Dark Wizard for a century? Wasn’t Grindenwald incredibly powerful so that only Dumbledore could fight him in 1945? Who’s the one in the previous century who was as good as Voldemort?

*Oh, and also "most powerful Dark Wizard of the century?" The guy who can’t kill a 14-year-old boy in the suburbs?

*Yes, that would be Hermione’s advice: ask an adult who might know how to help you and in the meantime consult a book. It’s really insulting the way Hermione suggests Harry’s problems can be handled like those of mere mortals. And what’s with Ron thinking he could ask his father, who is not an expert in anything curses? Only the greatest grand master of curses—the absolute Yoda of curses—could possibly be qualified to offer an opinion here.

*Can’t you just see Harry taking the same attitude if he got poison ivy or something? Like, deciding that he had some sort of super-magical plague and doubting very much that a book could help him while he lay awake angsting and itching?

*And Hedwig could never possibly find Dumbledore during the summer because why? Does Dumbledore go underground during the summer? Take on a new identity? Vacation on Mars? It’s a magic postal system, Harry. I think they can find one headmaster in the off-month. Harry seems to have never grown out of that second grade astonishment that the teacher has a life outside of school.

*Which, btw: http://www.theonion.com/content/news/teachers_leave_of_absence_shrouded??utm_source=EMTF_Onion

*Seriously, isn’t it great the way Harry’s able to so neatly come up with ways nobody can help him because his problem is just that serious? It’s a bad dream and a headache, Harry. You’re not radioactive.

*The real reason he can’t ask for help is, of course, that he can’t let anyone know he worried for a second. Sure sharing this situation with others might be the responsible thing to do and help them deal with Voldemort and so save lives, but only cowards care about stuff like that. Would you want your life saved if it made Harry look like a sissy in front of the Weasleys? Of course not. It’s really the Weasleys fault Harry can’t tell. He’s just protecting them from anxiety.

*What Harry really needs is someone like a parent. Um, Harry? Remember the way you worried that Mrs. Weasley would fuss and anxiously ask about your scar? That would be "someone like a parent."

*Okay, granted, Harry’s right in that he possibly wouldn’t feel as stupid going to a parent. But that’s not because parents care about you and have experience in Dark Magic. It’s because you have no dignity to lose around your parents. These are the people who changed your diapers.

*Sirius! He’s just like a parent. Meaning that he’s going to die soon so Harry’s got to sound deeply dependent on him really fast.

*We still haven’t finished with the "Previously, on Harry Potter…"

*Only Dumbledore believes the story about Sirius, and curiously, he’s not doing anything to get the word out. I guess because in the wizarding world nobody believes anything just because it’s coming from a source they trust. The wizarding world is driven by the search for evidence and a healthy skepti…BWAHAHAHA! Sorry, couldn’t get through that with a straight face.

*The Dursleys now let Harry have his stuff in his room because they were scared by Sirius. Two years later the Order will have supposedly put the Dursleys in their place by scaring them at a train station. It’s hard making sure the Dursleys are completely triumphed over at the end of the book while standing with their metaphoric boot on Harry’s neck at the beginning of the next. It would be so much easier if only they were Slytherins and we could just hex them and never mention it again.

*Sirius has been sending tropical birds with letters during the summer. Somehow they managed to find Surrey, yet Hedwig couldn’t find Dumbledore if he was at the beach.

*Sirius sounds cheerful. Well, Dumbledore will soon take care of that.

*It’s okay this summer, says Harry, as the Dursleys live in a constant state of fear that Sirius will show up and turn them into bats. Except when they’re asleep and their dreams are untroubled and painless.

*Good job Harry, for telling an adult about your problem. But leaving out the important bits, like the part where your scar hurt right after you got to listen in on Voldemort’s private conversation in your dream? Kind of undermines the whole idea. Dr. House is right. People lie at the strangest times.



Idiot Picture
Here’s a quick run-down of all the intelligent things I should do right now, and how I’m not going to do any of them.

Idiot World
Most powerful Dark Wizard in a century? Really?

Informed Attributes
Yes, most powerful Dark Wizard in a century.

IITS
Look, Harry has to keep this dream quiet, okay? He can’t start doing research or asking adults who can help him. Besides, we’ve got to start pushing this Sirius-as-parent thing fast. The guy doesn’t have long to live and he has to share the stage with a cast of thousands.

Misdirected Answering
It’s pointless wasting space in a letter to tell Sirius about my glimpse of Voldemort’s secret planning session, but I must be sure to tell him about the window of time between my writing the letter and sending it, due to the fact that Hedwig is out hunting. Can’t have Sirius thinking I sent the letter immediately. That would be dishonest.

POV Shots
Notable for Harry not telling us exactly whose pov we were in.

Final score: 6

Comments

[papier.livejournal.com]

Whose pov was Harry in during the dream? He doesn’t know who Frank is, so the whole chapter one probably isn’t his dream. He seems to have been in Frank’s pov because he was horrified when Voldemort turned around, but he also knows there was an old man there, so he wasn’t Frank himself. Doesn’t Harry usually have some specific eyes to look through when he sees Voldemort?

Did he remember seeing Nagini? Maybe he saw it through her eyes again.

The Dursleys showing up at Hogwarts would be crazy, but there’s nothing stopping Voldemort from hopping a bus to Privet Drive. Well, except for his having no legs, but Wormtail could hop the bus for him.

I don't think anyone on a typical London bus would raise an eyebrow at a rat-like man with incredibly ugly baby monster getting on. On the croydon routes, anyway. We've seen stranger things...

Can’t you just see Harry taking the same attitude if he got poison ivy or something?

Ahh, who would Harry let pee on his poison ivy wound? or am I thinking of jellyfish stings? That's a podcast topic if any.
Personally I think Harry would probably just lie there until someone came along to sort it out for him. Harry has no real initiative whatsoever. If ever he does have a sudden spark of action he usually fucks things up royally.

And Hedwig could never possibly find Dumbledore during the summer because why? Does Dumbledore go underground during the summer? Take on a new identity? Vacation on Mars? It’s a magic postal system, Harry. I think they can find one headmaster in the off-month. Harry seems to have never grown out of that second grade astonishment that the teacher has a life outside of school.

Harry should've gone to my school, where the history teacher had the science teacher's baby. Though didn't JKR say that the spouses of the teachers would come into it somehow? Hopefully Lupin shacking up with Tonks will have given him some preperation.

It’s a bad dream and a headache, Harry. You’re not radioactive.

LOL! I wish Lily would've been that kind of stfu mother. Too bad she probably would've given him cake and read stories about beautiful Gryffindor girls and their unicorns.

Sirius! He’s just like a parent. Meaning that he’s going to die soon so Harry’s got to sound deeply dependent on him really fast.

Never mind that he seemed quite prepared to kill everyone as long as he could kill Peter too.

Sirius has been sending tropical birds with letters during the summer. Somehow they managed to find Surrey, yet Hedwig couldn’t find Dumbledore if he was at the beach.

That's just another way to inform us that Harry is hard done by because his owl probably can't find Dumbledore down in Eastbourne but the Tropical birds can come all the way to Surrey from the bahamas. No doubt Hedwig will die in TDH and someone will anonymously send Harry a McCaw. It can talk, too!

Here’s a quick run-down of all the intelligent things I should do right now, and how I’m not going to do any of them.

JKR's gotta keep to that page count...

[static-pixie.livejournal.com]

Only the greatest grand master of curses—the absolute Yoda of curses—could possibly be qualified to offer an opinion here.
Kinda sucks for Harry that this particular Yoda hates him with every fiber of his being.

*Harry’s book is described as showing a spectacular goal made by someone putting the ball through a 50 foot hoop. Is it really that spectacular given that the person is flying level with the hoop? I just don’t think Quidditch goals are all that exciting.
I haven't read this in forever so I can't remember; was the book open? Was Harry actually reading?

Perhaps Dumbledore should charm them into comas so Harry could get the protection without their having to ever be awake?
It's a testiment to how little time Harry spends thinking of others that this option has actually never been considered.

*Sirius has been sending tropical birds with letters during the summer.
Because that's what you do when you're a convicted felon on the run. Send large, colorful birds to the same address over and over again.

[sunnyskywalker]

You've just given me an image of Snape grabbing the potions book and saying, "Mine, or I will help you not!" (That, and Harry saying, "I'm not afraid!" and Snape replying, "You will be. You will be.) Made my day.

[indongcho.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Harry did read in earlier books. He actually read a history book in PoA, and even enjoyed it. Strange how times have changed...

[kaskait.livejournal.com]

*Why does Voldemort showing up in Privet Drive seem so bizarre to Harry? There’s really nothing separating the two worlds. I think I’d have been demanding to know why I was left at the Dursleys the second I found out people were out to get me. The Dursleys showing up at Hogwarts would be crazy, but there’s nothing stopping Voldemort from hopping a bus to Privet Drive. Well, except for his having no legs, but Wormtail could hop the bus for him.

LOL. I'm having visions of Wormtail carrying his beastly Voldie baby around the London suburban transit system and pushing his baby pram on Privet Drive.

*Oh, and also "most powerful Dark Wizard of the century?" The guy who can’t kill a 14-year-old boy in the suburbs?

I guess Wormtail Pram ploy was thrown out as a viable option.

*Only Dumbledore believes the story about Sirius, and curiously, he’s not doing anything to get the word out. I guess because in the wizarding world nobody believes anything just because it’s coming from a source they trust. The wizarding world is driven by the search for evidence and a healthy skepti…BWAHAHAHA! Sorry, couldn’t get through that with a straight face.

Logic, investigation and a fair legal system is EBIL! Feeling your amorality, elitism and racism without restraint and from your heart is living free! The WW living at the cutting edge of 21st century society. *smirk*

[teratologist.livejournal.com]

I guess Wormtail Pram ploy was thrown out as a viable option.

Possibly Voldemort rented Batman Returns for movie night and now he's afraid that the 'origins of the Penguin' scene gave Peter ideas?

Although a baby!Voldemort who was being raised by penguins instead of a snake and a rat might be a mellower guy.

[kaskait.livejournal.com]

LOL, Voldemort with an army of Penguins would be beyond fantastic.

[mmmarcusz.livejournal.com]

"Fly my pretties! Fly!"

And why does he associate with rats and snakes, and call his followers Death Eaters? It's like he knows he's evil, which makes no sense. Reminds me of the Mitchell and Webb sketch: one SS man notes the skull motif on his helmet and asks his friend, "does this mean we're the baddies?"