15 HP Chamber of Secrets

[chantaldormand]

Ch15 Aragog

>”‘We’re taking no more chances,’ Madam Pomfrey told them severely through a crack in the hospital door. ‘No, I’m sorry, there’s every chance the attacker might come back to finish these people off …’”So what, if I’m bleeding out Pomfrey will still refuse to let me in? Can’t you place petrified victims in more secure location and open the wing to general populous? It’s not like students can catch anything from hospital wing’s residents. +1 to LOL

>Also does it means she suspects that those two are behind the attacks? Considering how shifty they act, I suppose this isn’t that unreasonable assumption...

>Due to Albus not being at the school students now are more scared... Are we still talking about the same man that did nothing visible to catch the culprit or lessen chances of any further attacks? +1 to LOL

>”Snape swept past Harry, making no comment about Hermione’s empty seat and cauldron” That dastardly Snape! Daring to ignore our hero’s woe!

>Aww, Draco is cute here!

>”Snape smirked as he swept off around the dungeon, fortunately not spotting Seamus Finnigan, who was pretending to vomit into his cauldron” and thus contaminating his potion. It’s wonder that any Gryffindor survives long enough to graduate.

>With seven years and 4 houses, how teachers manage to take students to classes? +1 to LOL

>”I know you’d never attack Hermione Granger, and I apologise for all the stuff I said.” I don’t know Ernie, If I were the person responsible for the attacks I would consider convincing one of my friends to take one for the team. Especially since Hermione is relatively unharmed; sure she will lose a month or so of education, but otherwise she is safe. +1 to LOL

>”‘Oh, yeah,’ said Ron, trying, and failing, to look pleased. ‘But we can’t follow them now …’
Ernie and Hannah were listening curiously.“ Way to raise your credibility guys! Your behaviour in no way makes you look crazy or suspicious! 

>Now, since Hermione is out of the game, we are back to half cooked suicidal and stupid plans. It’s not much of improvement, but at least I won’t get a headache from over analyzing them.

>Woah, by Lockhart’s standards that is quite venom. What exactly Hagrid did to earn it? The only thing that comes to my mind is admitting that he doesn’t care for Lockhart’s books or autographs, but still...

>So our brave heroes once again decide to run off during crisis situation to solve problems outside of their jurisdiction +1 to CC

>Oh boy, another romp through forest full of hungry beasts in middle of the night. You would think that after PS Harry would know that going through Forbidden Forest during night to look for something is monumentally stupid, but then again Harry isn't the brain of this group.

>Guys you know that since the grounds are moonlighted, anyone who looks out of the window could potentially spot you? All it takes is a weary teacher taking a break during patrol and looking out of the window. +1 to LOL

>Also, just because you spotted spiders going towards the forest in the afternoon, it doesn’t mean that they will still be there. +1 to LOL

>Wait, so Hogwarts' staff kept the poor dog locked up in Hagrid's shack? Did they even feed him?

>”Worried he might wake everyone at the castle with his deep, booming barks, they hastily fed him treacle fudge from a tin on the mantelpiece, which glued his teeth together.” You poor, poor dog. You don't deserve this :( +1 to CC

>So in act of utter stupidity, boys leave the Invisibility Cloak in Hagrid’s shack. It’s not like they could use it to hide from hungry/angry magical creatures... +1 to LOL +1 to DC

>+1 to SP for Harry’s Lumos

>”‘Good thinking,’ said Ron. ‘I’d light mine too, but you know – it’d probably blow up or something …’” JKR decided to show us just how absolutely stupid those two are, just in case we forgot... Two untrained teenage wizards going into forest full of magical creatures with only one working wand. What could go wrong? +3 to LOL

>Sooo I have to ask: why boys have to follow spiders? I mean obviously that was Jo’s way of leading them to Aragog, but why normal spiders would run to acromantulas? Somehow I doubt that young acromantulas would have anything against eating other species of spiders...

>Harry and Ron decide to leave the path and follow spiders further into the forest. In middle of the night. In magical forest. Without marking the way they come ... Jo are you sure you are writing about two 12 year old boys? I think that 6 year old would be smarter than that... +3 to LOL +1 to DC

>”‘Harry, it’s our car!’” Your car? A) if anything it's your father's car B) at this point the car is free sentient being and as such I don't think you can claim ownership over it.

>And then our hero was run over by sentient car. The End +1 to DC

>I was kinda hoping that Ford Anglia was conspiring with spiders to get rid of those morons. Sadly that isn't the case.

>”Ron didn’t speak. He didn’t move. His eyes were fixed on a point some ten feet above the Forest floor, right behind Harry.” And then our hero was eaten by huge man eating spiders. The End... Wait, wait, wait! 10 feet? That is over 3 meters! How the heck a whole colony of spiders this big can live off the Forbidden Forest? Does that mean that pre-Hagrid Forbidden Forest was this lush, full of animals paradise? +1 to DC

>”but Harry couldn’t have yelled even if he had wanted to; he seemed to have left his voice back with the car in the clearing.” Well then, I hope that Ford Anglia makes a good use of it.

>”And from the middle of the misty domed web, a spider the size of a small elephant emerged, very slowly” African elephants grow up to 3,3 meters and Indian elephants up to 2,7 meters...So in other words Aragog is only little smaller than the spiders who carried our heroic duo. Good job Jo.

>Harry is lucky he managed to get a good roll for both initiative and charisma check otherwise Aragog’s brood would eat him. +1 to DC

>”‘But why has he sent you?’” If this book was written by different author the answer obviously would be: to feed you.

>Apparently Hagrid not only released one man eating spider, but also found a partner for it! That man is walking ecological disaster.

>”I never saw any part of the castle but the cupboard in which I grew up.”...it’s like Hagrid wanted to be caught... Not to mention that any unsuspecting student or teacher could open the cupboard and get bitten by dangerous spider... +1 to LOL +1 to CC

>”‘is an ancient creature we spiders fear above all others.” Hey, hey Jo? Ya know how some snakes eat spiders? Well the thing is that some spiders eat snakes. Shocking, I know!

>Now I want to see Godzilla style battle between the Basilisk and Acromantula!

>I tried to find source of the whole spiders-are-afraid-of-the-Basilisk thing, but as far as I can tell it’s Jo’s idea. Not very smart one, but still hers.

>”‘We do not name it! I never even told Hagrid the name of that dread creature, though he asked me, many times.’” Good move on your part. Knowing Hagrid he would either replace you with the Basilisk or force you to crossbreed with it.

Artist’s rendition of Hagrid’s brand new specie

>Curious thing: there are some species of spiders that live in colonies. Now I'm stuck wondering if Jo accidentally managed to write something that is somewhat biologically correct or if she did some research. That being said Social Spiders cooperate on individual level not hive level and Aragog spawn seems to act bit more like hive than group of individuals.

>Remember how in PS Harry was surprisingly good at recognising trees? Well now he can add recognition of dog species to his resume. Still, out of the two, this one is more believable thanks to PoA.

>”They sped up the slope, out of the hollow, and they were soon crashing through the Forest, branches whipping the windows as the car wound its way cleverly through the widest gaps, following a path it obviously knew.” Are we still talking about ancient magical forest? Fuck, in forest near my home I can't drive off the patch without crashing into tree. Either residents of Hogwarts helped themselves with wood from Forbidden Forest or the forest is not as old as we are lead to believe.

>Poor Ron, he just lived through his worst nightmare and the only thing his best friend does is asking him if he is ok... :(

>Also if Rowling was better author, this event would cause serious mental scarring that would have later consequences.

>”‘What was the point of sending us in there? What have we found out, I’d like to know?’” Oi Jo, your characters desperately want to inform you, that you should make appointment with your editor. Preferably ASAP.

>”Ron gave a loud snort. Evidently, hatching Aragog out in a cupboard wasn’t his idea of being innocent.” Well Harry, last I checked Acromantulas are highly dangerous magical creatures that common Joe is forbidden from breeding. As it is, Hagrid not only broke that law, but also endangered fellow students by keeping it in cupboard and then most probably caused irreparable damage to ecosystem of Forbidden Forest’s. I'm not sure about Azkaban per say, but he sure as hell should be kept away from both children and animals.+3 to CC

>”even other monsters didn’t want to name it.” This is so convoluted. Aragog could have said that he doesn't know what Basilisks are called in human languages and offer Harry series of clicks as a name. But then again in this series names seem to have some kind of power and in this case even a name of species... 

>”‘You don’t think – not Moaning Myrtle?’” DUN DUN DUN! A good cliff hanger AND a good plot twist? Did we just transition into alternate reality where JKR is actually competent writer? We shall see.

Crime Count: 6

Death Count: 5

Freud Would Be Proud: 0

Leap of Logic: 14

Uncovered: 0

Spell Count: Harry: 1

Comments

[sunnyskywalker]

Well, I was thinking he should have decided against (allegedly) threatening the other Governors in CoS and campaigning for more teachers instead, because it's entirely reasonable and wouldn't get him fired but might have long-term benefits. (He could still get Hagrid arrested. There is a monster on the loose, and Hagrid's raised more than one monster, so probably not many people would disagree with at least questioning him.) Then he could stay on the board for several books to cause trouble! Lucius could even use the revolving DADA position to argue that they have a staff retention problem and he's trying to help solve it. I mean, what's Dumbledore going to do, say he doesn't want them to give the school more money so they can offer better education and maybe more electives and student clubs? He might even hope to get all the new teachers under his thumb and agree to it. He has a track record of (a) letting enemies into the castle so he can keep an eye on them and (b) overestimating his influence, like when he's surprised Fudge doesn't just take orders from him without evidence for all time while getting nothing in return. So he might make that mistake.

The teaching load is a nightmare, and no, it doesn't make sense. How can they possibly make a schedule every year that lets all students attend the classes they want and need without an impossible clash somewhere? And then also have remedial tutoring, office hours, some kind of supervision, patrolling the halls... No way. Are the teachers using Time-Turners? But no, because they all seem to have one classroom apiece. Unless they assign different cohorts to different ones and Harry just never realizes that "the" Charms classroom is actually "a" Charms classroom. Hard to believe Rowling was a teacher.

[gingerbred.livejournal.com]

You know, now that you put it that way, I simply can't believe Lucius *actually* threatened them. Lucius? The quintessential Slytherin? Seriously? At worst, what I can see him doing is *forcing them* to do their jobs (which, sure, they'll take as a threat, and even more happily frame it as one after the fact when the other governors can (mis)use Lucius as a scapegoat). [I can't believe I'm defending Lucius for anything, and yet there it is. Nothing else makes sense, and we don't actually *see* anything else take place. It's anecdotal.]

So, mid-year, CoS, people are being petrified, they have no idea how or why. They don't even know for sure that the Mandrake Restorative Draught they're waiting on will work, as they don't know the cause of the petrification... They do know that in the past, an attack along these lines resulted in the death of a student, and at *that* time, they had been prepared to close the school. But at present? No, at present they're *dithering*. How many more need to be injured before Dumbles gets off his backside and *does* something?

So I picture it like this, Lucius goes the path of righteous indignation, and makes the lazy, timid chicken-shitters on the Board of Governors actually stand up to Albus and take *action*. In this case, demand he step down. Keep in mind that as far as anyone knows, Albus is the man who gave the student responsible for another's death a job at the castle. (And as further proof of his suitability, will promote him to teaching staff next year despite his lack of qualifications, and what he will demonstrate to be general incompetence. Skrewts *are* illegal, and *aren't* on their OWLs, after all... Oh, and dangerous.)

As for the teachers and their hours, I believe that's an example of author error, and thus *can't* be addressed by any of the characters. Not once in the books is their work schedule presented as problematic. Not even Snape snarks, so I guess we're meant to think it's cool. Somehow.

[sunnyskywalker]

It's so un-Slytherin! Now, Fred and George, sure, they would outright threaten people like that, as Zacharias can attest. But why would Lucius threaten eleven other people as a first resort without even giving himself plausible deniability? It's hard to believe he's that inept and yet not in prison. (Even if he had made a deal with Crouch, did it involve letting him off for all future crimes? And Crouch might have already been transferred to Cooperation by this point anyway, making it null and void.)

So... yeah, the "threats" may have been less threatening than we're led to believe. Also, I think Terri was the one who looked at Dumbledore's statement that if any more of Voldemort's old school things turned up, he'd make sure they were traced back to Lucius, and asked, er, does that mean you'll make sure he takes the fall whether he's guilty or not, Albus? Hoping this gives him incentive to keep his former colleagues in line or something? Who were we saying was threatening people again? And while we're at it, what's our only source for the allegation that Lucius threatened anyone in the first place? Maybe Albus was actually saying, "Look, I can get the other Governors to frame you if I tell them to. You won't win this power struggle. Back down."

Trying to force Dumbledore out in CoS probably seemed like a good idea at the time, given the risk of immanent deaths and all, but Lucius didn't have a follow-up plan (or it fell through, or didn't come off in time). All things considered, he probably shouldn't have tipped his hand so early. Let Dumbledore think he was too intimidated to try anything directly while introducing proposals for educational reforms it's hard to argue with, like more staff (even if we pretend the schedule is possible, they must still be stretched pretty thin). Or better yet, use the time-honored method of getting a senior board member to introduce it for him. Surely there's one who thinks it sounds like a good idea, especially if it's pitched as something to support the Great and Wonderful Dumbledore, or at least not draw his ire? (Poor man, he hardly has time for his political posts with all the school admin he's surely doing! We should get a secretary and an accountant and more teachers for him!) And if not, well, it's not like Lucius has any moral qualms about using the Imperius Curse, and who's going to suspect Imperius if old Whatshisname thinks it would be great if teachers had more time for one-on-one student advisory and more thorough comments on essays?