15 HP Chamber of Secrets
Jun. 21st, 2019 08:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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deathtocapslockCh15 Aragog
>”‘We’re taking no more chances,’ Madam Pomfrey told them severely through a crack in the hospital door. ‘No, I’m sorry, there’s every chance the attacker might come back to finish these people off …’”So what, if I’m bleeding out Pomfrey will still refuse to let me in? Can’t you place petrified victims in more secure location and open the wing to general populous? It’s not like students can catch anything from hospital wing’s residents. +1 to LOL
>Also does it means she suspects that those two are behind the attacks? Considering how shifty they act, I suppose this isn’t that unreasonable assumption...
>Due to Albus not being at the school students now are more scared... Are we still talking about the same man that did nothing visible to catch the culprit or lessen chances of any further attacks? +1 to LOL
>”Snape swept past Harry, making no comment about Hermione’s empty seat and cauldron” That dastardly Snape! Daring to ignore our hero’s woe!
>Aww, Draco is cute here!
>”Snape smirked as he swept off around the dungeon, fortunately not spotting Seamus Finnigan, who was pretending to vomit into his cauldron” and thus contaminating his potion. It’s wonder that any Gryffindor survives long enough to graduate.
>With seven years and 4 houses, how teachers manage to take students to classes? +1 to LOL
>”I know you’d never attack Hermione Granger, and I apologise for all the stuff I said.” I don’t know Ernie, If I were the person responsible for the attacks I would consider convincing one of my friends to take one for the team. Especially since Hermione is relatively unharmed; sure she will lose a month or so of education, but otherwise she is safe. +1 to LOL
>”‘Oh, yeah,’ said Ron, trying, and failing, to look pleased. ‘But we can’t follow them now …’
Ernie and Hannah were listening curiously.“ Way to raise your credibility guys! Your behaviour in no way makes you look crazy or suspicious!
>Now, since Hermione is out of the game, we are back to half cooked suicidal and stupid plans. It’s not much of improvement, but at least I won’t get a headache from over analyzing them.
>Woah, by Lockhart’s standards that is quite venom. What exactly Hagrid did to earn it? The only thing that comes to my mind is admitting that he doesn’t care for Lockhart’s books or autographs, but still...
>So our brave heroes once again decide to run off during crisis situation to solve problems outside of their jurisdiction +1 to CC
>Oh boy, another romp through forest full of hungry beasts in middle of the night. You would think that after PS Harry would know that going through Forbidden Forest during night to look for something is monumentally stupid, but then again Harry isn't the brain of this group.
>Guys you know that since the grounds are moonlighted, anyone who looks out of the window could potentially spot you? All it takes is a weary teacher taking a break during patrol and looking out of the window. +1 to LOL
>Also, just because you spotted spiders going towards the forest in the afternoon, it doesn’t mean that they will still be there. +1 to LOL
>Wait, so Hogwarts' staff kept the poor dog locked up in Hagrid's shack? Did they even feed him?
>”Worried he might wake everyone at the castle with his deep, booming barks, they hastily fed him treacle fudge from a tin on the mantelpiece, which glued his teeth together.” You poor, poor dog. You don't deserve this :( +1 to CC
>So in act of utter stupidity, boys leave the Invisibility Cloak in Hagrid’s shack. It’s not like they could use it to hide from hungry/angry magical creatures... +1 to LOL +1 to DC
>+1 to SP for Harry’s Lumos
>”‘Good thinking,’ said Ron. ‘I’d light mine too, but you know – it’d probably blow up or something …’” JKR decided to show us just how absolutely stupid those two are, just in case we forgot... Two untrained teenage wizards going into forest full of magical creatures with only one working wand. What could go wrong? +3 to LOL
>Sooo I have to ask: why boys have to follow spiders? I mean obviously that was Jo’s way of leading them to Aragog, but why normal spiders would run to acromantulas? Somehow I doubt that young acromantulas would have anything against eating other species of spiders...
>Harry and Ron decide to leave the path and follow spiders further into the forest. In middle of the night. In magical forest. Without marking the way they come ... Jo are you sure you are writing about two 12 year old boys? I think that 6 year old would be smarter than that... +3 to LOL +1 to DC
>”‘Harry, it’s our car!’” Your car? A) if anything it's your father's car B) at this point the car is free sentient being and as such I don't think you can claim ownership over it.
>And then our hero was run over by sentient car. The End +1 to DC
>I was kinda hoping that Ford Anglia was conspiring with spiders to get rid of those morons. Sadly that isn't the case.
>”Ron didn’t speak. He didn’t move. His eyes were fixed on a point some ten feet above the Forest floor, right behind Harry.” And then our hero was eaten by huge man eating spiders. The End... Wait, wait, wait! 10 feet? That is over 3 meters! How the heck a whole colony of spiders this big can live off the Forbidden Forest? Does that mean that pre-Hagrid Forbidden Forest was this lush, full of animals paradise? +1 to DC
>”but Harry couldn’t have yelled even if he had wanted to; he seemed to have left his voice back with the car in the clearing.” Well then, I hope that Ford Anglia makes a good use of it.
>”And from the middle of the misty domed web, a spider the size of a small elephant emerged, very slowly” African elephants grow up to 3,3 meters and Indian elephants up to 2,7 meters...So in other words Aragog is only little smaller than the spiders who carried our heroic duo. Good job Jo.
>Harry is lucky he managed to get a good roll for both initiative and charisma check otherwise Aragog’s brood would eat him. +1 to DC
>”‘But why has he sent you?’” If this book was written by different author the answer obviously would be: to feed you.
>Apparently Hagrid not only released one man eating spider, but also found a partner for it! That man is walking ecological disaster.
>”I never saw any part of the castle but the cupboard in which I grew up.”...it’s like Hagrid wanted to be caught... Not to mention that any unsuspecting student or teacher could open the cupboard and get bitten by dangerous spider... +1 to LOL +1 to CC
>”‘is an ancient creature we spiders fear above all others.” Hey, hey Jo? Ya know how some snakes eat spiders? Well the thing is that some spiders eat snakes. Shocking, I know!
>Now I want to see Godzilla style battle between the Basilisk and Acromantula!
>I tried to find source of the whole spiders-are-afraid-of-the-Basilisk thing, but as far as I can tell it’s Jo’s idea. Not very smart one, but still hers.
>”‘We do not name it! I never even told Hagrid the name of that dread creature, though he asked me, many times.’” Good move on your part. Knowing Hagrid he would either replace you with the Basilisk or force you to crossbreed with it.
>Curious thing: there are some species of spiders that live in colonies. Now I'm stuck wondering if Jo accidentally managed to write something that is somewhat biologically correct or if she did some research. That being said Social Spiders cooperate on individual level not hive level and Aragog spawn seems to act bit more like hive than group of individuals.
>Remember how in PS Harry was surprisingly good at recognising trees? Well now he can add recognition of dog species to his resume. Still, out of the two, this one is more believable thanks to PoA.
>”They sped up the slope, out of the hollow, and they were soon crashing through the Forest, branches whipping the windows as the car wound its way cleverly through the widest gaps, following a path it obviously knew.” Are we still talking about ancient magical forest? Fuck, in forest near my home I can't drive off the patch without crashing into tree. Either residents of Hogwarts helped themselves with wood from Forbidden Forest or the forest is not as old as we are lead to believe.
>Poor Ron, he just lived through his worst nightmare and the only thing his best friend does is asking him if he is ok... :(
>Also if Rowling was better author, this event would cause serious mental scarring that would have later consequences.
>”‘What was the point of sending us in there? What have we found out, I’d like to know?’” Oi Jo, your characters desperately want to inform you, that you should make appointment with your editor. Preferably ASAP.
>”Ron gave a loud snort. Evidently, hatching Aragog out in a cupboard wasn’t his idea of being innocent.” Well Harry, last I checked Acromantulas are highly dangerous magical creatures that common Joe is forbidden from breeding. As it is, Hagrid not only broke that law, but also endangered fellow students by keeping it in cupboard and then most probably caused irreparable damage to ecosystem of Forbidden Forest’s. I'm not sure about Azkaban per say, but he sure as hell should be kept away from both children and animals.+3 to CC
>”even other monsters didn’t want to name it.” This is so convoluted. Aragog could have said that he doesn't know what Basilisks are called in human languages and offer Harry series of clicks as a name. But then again in this series names seem to have some kind of power and in this case even a name of species...
>”‘You don’t think – not Moaning Myrtle?’” DUN DUN DUN! A good cliff hanger AND a good plot twist? Did we just transition into alternate reality where JKR is actually competent writer? We shall see.
Crime Count: 6
Death Count: 5
Freud Would Be Proud: 0
Leap of Logic: 14
Uncovered: 0
Spell Count: Harry: 1
no subject
Date: 2019-07-26 02:41 am (UTC)Extracurricular clubs I can see, though. We know there's a "Charms Club" which interferes with scheduling Quidditch practice once, and there's a Gobstones club or team or something, so there is evidence for clubs. Some of them could be art and choir, and the Trio would have ignored them for the reasons you said.
It would be fascinating to read the underground zines the more creative students probably produce every odd year. Draco probably writes poetry under a ridiculously obvious pen name. No one's sure whether Luna's written submissions are meant to be fact or fiction, but they're certainly creative, and her artwork is always a welcome page-filler. Colin is getting better at composition now that he's getting the hang of developing moving photos. Dean draws exotic Muggle things like footballs and televisions which always get some interest.
I like to think that there are guild-run apprenticeships. Some students start them after NEWTs, with the exams acting as partial credit or something so they aren't in for another full seven years. We know that's about how the Healer Apprentice program works, so, precedent! Others leave after OWLs (ditto, with less transferable credit). And probably some do just outside vocational training and never go to Hogwarts; there are little fly-by-night tutoring groups and "not-technically-schools" to give them just enough instruction in other subjects to pass some exams and qualify for unrestricted wand use.
But it takes an awful lot of inventing and creative interpretation to make things even halfway work. The wizarding world is just so impossible. It's a great example of why, "Because... er... magic!" is not good enough if you want a fictional society to look even impressionistically real (as opposed to being pure satire like Animal Farm or something, and even that probably holds together better).