POA - Chapter 8

[kaskait.livejournal.com]

Flight of the Fat Lady

*Lets take a moment to ponder the title of this chapter and the conundrum it posits. Is the Gryffindor fat lady evil or just really silly? So far we don't have very positive role models of people who possess fuller figures. Hmmmm, what to think?

*Lupin has everyone loving DADA. He even seems to be teaching something of value. If you consider fighting sea monkeys a valuable asset on your C.V./resume.

*Of course Draco has to be the ANTI Kid and hate on Lupin. Simply because Lupin's clothes are a little raggedy.

*Whats the matter Draco? You don't like to watch Lupin's threadbare robes whirling around his sarcastic person like Harry does?

*True to form, Neville is now being really tortured in potions class because of Lupin. Thank you Remus, you're the gift that keeps on giving, complete with monthly wolfen PMS fur attacks. Maybe you deserve pink headed ladies.

*Harry hates Snape's class. He also hates Trelawney's class. I wonder why he bothers to show up to class considering he isn't learning anything. Or maybe he is and just isn't telling us about it. Which is strange because this is his story.

*Parvati and Lavender stay true to their bubble headed personas and spend quality time with Trelawney. Poor Lavender, well on her way to "Won-Won" crucifixion of her character. Couldn't Rowling make up another character to humiliate like she did for Harry? I'm sure Romilda could have had a sister named Brunhilda.

*Hagrid's class is really boring now because he lost his confidence after the Buckbeak incident. Thanks be to all things good. If he is quiet that means he will instigate no tedious subplots.

*Quidditch. Another boring sub-plot because Harry is just so naturally wonderful, I wonder why any of the team bothers to practice at all. Harry wins it all the time.

*Poor Oliver Wood has only one character trait...Obsession. I'm now imagining a Quidditch scenes as a drippy CK perfume commercial with Lee Jordan inexplicably sighing "Obsession" in breathy tones.

*Of course, the GinsterSu will have to have a lead on that commercial. She is the life of the team,dammit! Even if she isn't on it in year 3. I think someone dropped the ball in not recruiting her now.

*Harry can't go to Hogsmeade Dammit!!!!!!! He deserves to go because he is Harry. Who needs a permission slip? Lets get the priorities straight here. McGonagall you can't let the kid go on a trip but you can push him past the Quidditch game rules and buy him a broom?

*Crookshanks attacks Ron's lap searching for a Scabbers treat.

*Understandably, Ron freaks the hell out. Hermione sobs that its in Crookshanks nature to attack rodents.

*Okay, give me a bone here. Hermione loves Ron. Hermione loves Ron so much, she adopts a pet that wants to eat his pet. Then to show her love is true she allows said pet to attack Ron's pet because she can't change her pet's nature. WTF! She couldn't keep Crookshanks out of the Common Room when she knew Ron would be present with Scabbers in tow? COME ON!

*Of course this is all exonerated retroactively by the end of the book. So what does this mean? Sub-Theme of "Getting what you deserve", if something attacks you, your pet or possession, you or it deserves it. Its all for the best even if at the time it is really crappy. Grin and bear it and don't be wussy. Let that Cat eat your Rat. Your RAT deserves it, no matter how much you love it.

*Ron screeches that Crookshanks can understand English and states that he listened to him announcing that Scabbers was hiding in his pocket. Hermione, in an understanding fashion, tells him he is just talking rubbish. Thank you Hermione. That is a successful courting move. And you will actually wonder why Ron goes for Lavender?

*Ron and Hermione stop speaking which means...nothing. They hardly ever speak at all during most books. Its a well worn subplot.

*Hermione is on a hit parade and insults Lavender about her dead bunny. Yes, Hermione you are being logical about it all but can you do it away from a grieving pet owner?

*Alas, when it comes bending rules, if it doesn't involve Quidditch, Mcgonagall won't do it. She is a pillar of integrity I tell you.

*But no worries, Harry can spend quality time with Lupin. Harry, ever in search of a father figure, glomps on to Lupin like a burr. We shall see in the future, that Lupin takes that clingly burr and flicks it away.

*Ooooh, Lupin says "Voldemort"! Oh Brave. Or maybe not. This puts him in Dumpeydope's calculating, arrogant league. It doesn't make me trust him more. Gee...I wonder if Lupin is going around and telling Doofeydope everything Harry tells him? Yep, he probably is.

*Harry tells Lupin that he is afraid of Dementors not Voldemort. Lupin calls him wise.

*Okay pull back it back a little Lupin. That is just a bit too, too much ass kissing there. Who is going to believe that?

*Severus arrives to give Lupin a steaming cup of mystery potion.

*Lupin ignores Harry's concerned questions while he drinks the strange brew. Then he throws the tedious brat out of his sight.

*Ron and Hermione return from a fantastic trip to Hogsmeade. They are talking again. Because they would have to, wouldn't they? They have no other friends but each other since they spend most of their time sucking up to Harry "The Chosen One" Potter. Taking care of Harry is serious business!

*After the Halloween feast they return to an uproar in front of the Gryffindor entrance. Percy is shouting to let him through to the front.

*And GinnySue says the most important, hintful phrase in the whole series, "What's going on?" Hold on Rowling I think you are giving away to many Sunny day hints there.

*Hey, you know what? I think GinnySue stole Seamus' line.

*The FAT lady is gone and her portrait is torn apart. woah.

*You know, in this moment of distress, you would think everyone would call this portrait person by her proper name. But no, she is still called "FAT Lady". Even Doofeydoof doesn't know her name. I mean, there you are, in distress and people are screaming "FAT LADY! FAT LADY Where are you?" Honestly, would you answer?

*Peeves gives it away and tells all to Dumbledore. I'm surprised he didn't try to insert some fat jokes in there. But apparently Peeves doesn't stoop that low unlike the rest of the school, who don't even remember this poor woman's name.

*P.S. Peeves says Sirius Black is in the House! Woo Hoo. Partay.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

*Lupin has everyone loving DADA. He even seems to be teaching something of value. If you consider fighting sea monkeys a valuable asset on your C.V./resume.

Considering these are evil sea monkeys that you apparantly have some likelihood of running into, ll give Lupin that one. Although this class sounds more like Defense Against Dangerous Animals than Defense Against the Dark Arts. MAybe they can put this to use in Hagrid's class.

*Okay, give me a bone here. Hermione loves Ron. Hermione loves Ron so much, she adopts a pet that wants to eat his pet. Then to show her love is true she allows said pet to attack Ron's pet because she can't change her pet's nature. WTF! She couldn't keep Crookshanks out of the Common Room when she knew Ron would be present with Scabbers in tow? COME ON!
Oddly enough, this made me think of Molly and her passive-aggressive behaviour to Ron. If the Oedipal undertones weren't bad enough, both the mother and the love interest treat him poorly.

*You know, in this moment of distress, you would think everyone would call this portrait person by her proper name. But no, she is still called "FAT Lady". Even Doofeydoof doesn't know her name. I mean, there you are, in distress and people are screaming "FAT LADY! FAT LADY Where are you?" Honestly, would you answer?

Good call. I wondered about that too.

[saylee.livejournal.com]

That was me forgetting to log in. Oops.

[kaskait.livejournal.com]

Oddly enough, this made me think of Molly and her passive-aggressive behaviour to Ron. If the Oedipal undertones weren't bad enough, both the mother and the love interest treat him poorly.

But we all want to marry our parents don't we? I get the feeling that Rowling decided to vomit Freud all over this couple. Its straight out of his studies.

Although this class sounds more like Defense Against Dangerous Animals than Defense Against the Dark Arts.

Lupin knew he probably wasn't going to stay past a year anyway. He basically sleepwalks through the year.