CoS Chapter Ten

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

*Lockhart’s now just acting out his adventures in class. Harry has had to play a simple Transylvanian villager, a yeti and a vampire. Now Rowling’s just being cruel by not showing us the Slytherin classes where Malfoy is volunteering for all these parts. For all of Harry’s good qualities, you know he’d be a terrible actor. Draco’s probably got costumes and funny accents and everything. ::sulks::

*Today’s essay question: Explain how it’s a good to create a charm that turns a werewolf back into a man knowing Lupin is coming.

*I’ll bet Lockhart signs Hermione’s note with his joined-up writing. ::sigh:: Poor Lockhart. In this universe annoying Harry is far more dangerous than teasing a werewolf.

*Lockhart was Seeker too? I’d forgotten that. Guess it is the position for show-offs, after all.

*Ron says Lockhart will sign anything that stands still long enough. Hee! Ron’s got it going on in CoS.

*Some Potions in Hermione’s book are almost too gruesome to think about. Those are the ones Hermione copies to use on those who cross her later. I’d hate to think how gruesome a Potion would be for Hermione to think it too gruesome for her enemies.

*So, I think some people believe that Hermione’s pink cheeks and shining eyes when she tells the boys they’re chickening out is due to her really worrying about being a Muggleborn. To me it seems like she’s just excited over the prospect of making the Potion.

*Ron suggests Harry should just knock Malfoy off his broom—omg, Ron’s totally telling Harry to murder Malfoy!!

*Harry wakes up thinking about how fast the Slytherin brooms are trying to convince us there’s any possibility of Gryffindor losing, and that their brooms are somehow totally more unfair than his own special broom.

*Apparently Malfoy’s buying his way onto the team has become canon as far as the Gryffindors are concerned. Though you’d think they’d appreciate that. If the Slytherins have a Seeker who isn’t up to snuff, shouldn’t they be easy to beat?

*Oh and also, they want it more badly than Slytherin. Because good people always want to win more than bad people. Which is why there’s really no point in showing any more Quidditch at Hogwarts.

*Everybody’s anxious to see Slytherin beaten. Funny how at Hogwarts it’s such a given this would be so, while in fandom Slytherin attracts this loyal fanbase of Muggles.

*The fuss being made about the Slytherin’s speedy brooms is truly ridiculous. Harry’s on a Nimbus 2000. How much faster is Malfoy supposed to be? The difference must be miniscule compared to the difference between the 2001s and Harry’s professional Firebolt.

*George hits the Bludger towards Malfoy, which is just part of the game, unlike it would be if dirty Slytherin hit one towards Harry.

*Good luck finding that Snitch with rain on your glasses, Harry.

*Slytherin’s winning, which means their superior brooms are doing their jobs and not that they’ve done anything themselves at all. Seriously, they might as well not even be on the brooms.

*Harry tells Fred and George that with them flying around him the only way he’ll catch the Snitch is if it flies up his sleeve. Which I’m sure it would do, if necessary, to make sure Harry won.

*As hard as it would be to pinpoint the greatest example of Gryffindor or Harry dumbassness, the moment where Harry wants to play with the rogue Bludger instead of just having it replaced with a regular one has to be in the top 5.

*Oh no, if Harry’s playing with a rogue Bludger surely Malfoy will be the one to catch the Snitch. There’s no hope for Harry now surely.

*Malfoy hasn’t seen the Snitch because he’s "laughing at Harry." Yup, totally down to Malfoy doing something wrong. It’s not like the Snitch is in his blind spot and Harry himself only saw it because he turned around to glare at Malfoy instead of look for the Snitch himself.

*The Bludger breaks Harry’s arm but somehow doesn’t knock him off his broom. Harry wins the game with a broken arm and then faints in a manly way. I’m literally embarrassed for the Gary-Stu-ness of it. It’s like the only difference between Lockhart and Harry is that poor Lockhart is his own Gary Stu.

*As much as I enjoy Harry’s arm waving pointlessly, don’t think this makes the last sequence any less shameless, JKR.

*Hermione wants to know how Malfoy fixed the Bludger. I’d totally be asking why on earth Harry didn’t have it replaced.

*Honestly, all the little digs at Crabbe and Goyle being stupid just don’t hold up when you see these guys play Quidditch. It’s a point of honor to win when the Slytherins have jinxed the Bludger!

*And Malfoy gets yelled at…though, oddly, yelled at in a way that makes him seem like an actual member of the team and not someone who bought his way on. Shouldn’t there be some other player mentioned here, who should really have the job or something?

*Dobby’s hands are still bandaged from ironing his hands months ago?

*Oh Harry, please kill Dobby. It’s like the British illustrator put him on the cover of the last book just to spite me.

*Harry’s anger ebbs away in spite of himself. That’s a bit shocking. If there’s one thing about Harry’s anger, it’s that it’s quick to rise, slow to ebb.

*Dobby sets up passing someone a sock as giving them freedom. Must make doing the laundry a bit complicated.

*Dobby then claims that Harry Potter means so much to the "lowly, the enslaved, the dregs of the Magical World!" Who exactly is Dobby talking about here? Because House-Elves don’t consider themselves any of those things. Nor do they care so much about Harry.

*Dobby then goes on to give Harry what seems to be a false impression of what it’s like to be a House-Elf, as if he’s representing his kind in some way in the way he fawns disgustingly over Harry.

*It’s like if Colin Creevey considered himself a mouthpiece for Muggleborns.

*Dobby cracks himself over the head with a water jar, but unfortunately remains conscious.

*Harry learns it was Dobby who both didn’t want him at Hogwarts and fixed the Bludger. Could he perhaps be wrongly accusing Malfoy of anything else? Ha ha. Just kidding. Of course he doesn’t.

*Colin Creevey is found with a bunch of grapes on his way to visit Harry. No doubt hoping to climb into bed with him in the soft darkness of the Hospital Wing and let Harry nibble them from his fingers.

*The grapes remind me of that Jack the Ripper theory where William Gull did it. Grapes figured prominently into that. Poisoned grapes.

*Dumbledore takes Colin’s camera, hoping he got a picture of his attacker. Clearly Dumbledore doesn’t know Colin’s camera isn’t supposed to work at Hogwarts!

*McGonagall asks who opened the Chamber. Dumbledore corrects her that the question is how. I don’t know, Albus. Isn’t the "who" the answer to the "how"?





IITS
Why don’t they just get a different Bludger?

Selling Wood
Lo, I am an illiterate Transylvanian villager. (points to chest and stiffly indicates mountains) Won’t you please help me with my illness, sir?

Final score: 2

Signs of things to come: Don’t think Slytherin’s ever going to get any closer to winning than this, ever. And Harry will keep assuming he was right about Malfoy even when he wasn’t.

Comments

[jodel-from-aol.livejournal.com]

I'm beginning to wonder why, *why* we think so poorly of Ginny 2 for never (in our hearing, anyway) saying anything nice to or about anyone but Harry.

I mean it's not like she's the only one. About the only person Hermione has ever said anything *nice* about other than Harry was Eloise Midgin, for all that she defends Percy, and any teacher she's ever met. (Apart from Umbridge.)

Maybe at the end of the whole series it *will* turn out to all be the fantasy of an autistic kid shut up in a closet.

[kaskait.livejournal.com]

I've been thinking the same.

Will the Chosen One enter the veil and end up back in that cobwebbed closet?