CoS Chapter Thirteen

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

*Day 56: I am frozen by a basilisk. Stupid basilisk.

*Hermione’s in the hospital wing for several week? That seems a bit excessive.

*I think her time there is what inspired her to create her SNEAK hex. She thought: Hmm, if I’m so upset at having hair on my face for a few weeks, wouldn’t it be great if I could smite my enemies with a worse facial deformity that was permanent?

*Hermione asks the boys if they’ve got any new leads. By which she means, have they fastened on some other person they can imagine being the Heir of Slytherin with no real evidence?

*Snape’s given Harry so much homework he thinks he’ll be in sixth year before he finishes. That’s because Snape’s pissed off his Half-Blood Prince storyline has been moved to sixth year.

*Ron wishes he’d asked Hermione how many rat tails he’s supposed to add to a Potion. It’s so much easier to go to the Infirmary for your information. Now he’ll have to open his book.

*Even the candles have been extinguished by that Slytherin flood. Yay!

*Ron stops Harry from just picking up the abandoned diary because it might be dangerous. Remember when Ron was the smart one with Wizard experience?

*Why does it seem so fitting that Wizards are naturally wary of books?

*Harry listens to all the dangerous things the book might be, and then dodges round Ron and picks it up. Listen, somebody’s got to keep the plot moving here.

*The book’s just been soaked in a flood but Tom Riddle’s name is just smudged. I may have not given Wizard ink enough credit.

*Harry’s got the weirdest curiosity reflex I’ve ever seen. He can’t be bothered to ask about his parents but damn, he wishes he knew why somebody threw this diary away and WHAT DID T.M. RIDDLE DO TO EARN A SPECIAL SERVICES TO THE SCHOOL AWARD??!

*Ron suggests he got the award for murdering Myrtle. Dum Dum Dummmmmm!

*I really love that Ron’s right about the award really being for murdering Myrtle, because it bugs me how Hermione and Harry are so smug in their own conclusion, which is just as randomly circumstantial as Ron’s. If Harry and Hermione were in fandom they’d totally be all over those elaborate theories based on nothing more than two characters having similar hair color or something.

*Why would the person who caught the Heir of Slytherin have the information for opening the Chamber in his own diary? Wouldn’t the Heir be the one with that information?

*Harry’s had, what, three books that have interested him in his life? One’s the Quidditch book. The other two are the diaries of Slytherin boys he thinks of as his best friends before he realizes they are actually his mortal enemy.

*Draco’s the only one of the three Slytherin antagonists whose diary Harry doesn’t get to read, which is a crying shame because you KNOW that thing would be crazy.

*Harry feels like Riddle was an old friend, which is absurd because he never had any friends. But only because Dudley had made sure of that, even when they were three. Harry’s a naturally popular young fellow!

*Ron says Riddle sounds like Percy—and he’s totally right. Because kids who are good students are all pretty evil, unless they work extra hard at also being Avengers of Truth and Justice like Hermione.

*Hee. The Mandrakes are becoming moody and secretive, which means they’re becoming adolescent. Some are SPEAKING ALL IN CAPSLOCK and others are going pale and wan and crying in the bathroom.

*Perhaps the Heir has lost his/her nerve, Harry thinks. Heaven forefend! Ginny is a Gryffindor! She’ll be back endangering others in no time, once she remembers what’s really important.

*Ernie’s still convinced Harry is the guilty party, yet somehow manages to refrain from knocking Ron and Hermione out to spy on him using their bodies. See, this is why Hufflepuff is the Duffer house.

*I don’t see why Peeves is considered such a funderful figure of chaos when his songs are even worse than Draco’s.

*Harry loses sleep due to a late-running Quidditch practice. What, they practice in the middle of the night? And why isn’t Quidditch over yet? Do we not even have the relief of a Quidditch season? That’s the trouble with having only one sport in the entire world.

*Lockhart’s wearing pink. How did I forget that? We know he really sucks now!

*Sometimes I’m surprised Slytherin’s colors don’t include pink. Or maybe Ravenclaws. They seem okay, but aside from Luna their devotion to Harry is disturbingly shallow.

*Errr…my school did the delivering Valentine’s thing on Valentine’s Day. Junior class fundraiser. They delivered carnations with notes. At Christmas the senior class did candy canes.

*Nice of Ginny to include the reason she wants Harry in her Valentine, that he’s the hero who conquered the Dark Lord. No celebrity fucking here, thank you very much.

*Ginny II has never sent a Valentine in her life, of course. Only stupid girls do that. If she did send one it would go something like:

I’m better at Quidditch, I’m better at spells
I look, talk and smell better too
I had use for you briefly, but now I have none
So I’m breaking up with you

*Honestly, Draco. As if Harry would ever write in a diary with all the heroic stuff he’s got to do.

*Harry quickly loses his temper over nothing. I think underneath he already suspects Tom is incredibly handsome and he doesn’t want Malfoy’s white little hands touching his diary.

*I kind of love that Malfoy knows Ginny sent the Valentine.

*Ron pulls out his wand to hex him for speaking spitefully to Ginny, which is ironic because Malfoy’s acting totally like Ginny II here, only her target would be Ron.

*All Harry’s books except the diary are covered in scarlet ink. Yeah, this quill and ink thing is totally efficient.

*Ron’s wand: still obviously broken. Staff: still couldn’t care less.

*As usual, while Malfoy is marked as the mean one when it comes to the Valentine, it’s the twins who keep mocking Harry with it, which must be upsetting to Ginny. Which is why she decides to become the bullies who used to upset her.

*Tom even SOUNDS handsome!!!

*Harry eagerly starts conversing with the nice man in the diary. I think the Dursleys kept him away from the computer because they knew that if Harry got on the Internet, a week later he’d be last seen meeting his new special friend NAMBLA225 at the bus depot in Swindon.

*Harry thinks: how could you be taken into someone else’s memory? Little does he know this will soon become a hobby!

*The sky outside the window in the memory is ruby red. Harry has dropped into Hogwarts in the middle of a Martian attack.

*Harry realizes this is Hogwarts as Riddle knew it, when this unknown wizard was headmaster and not Dumbledore. So what the hell’s the point in it even existing, if Dumbledore’s not the headmaster?

*The boy enters, wearing his pointy hat. Funny how Harry never has to remove his own pointy hat when he enters an office. JKR forgetting the hats again, or does Harry’s lack of manners take care of that? There’s no way Malfoy wouldn’t have taken off his pointy hat when he came into Snape’s office in OotP.

*The whole story gets a little more bizarre when you mentally put pointy witch hats on everyone, doesn’t it?

*The boy has jet black hair. Harry has not yet hit puberty, so is not yet struck by how absolutely DELICIOUS he is.

*Riddle sure knows the memory to show Harry, huh? The one about staying at school for the holidays.

*Dippet mistakes Riddle for a Muggleborn. Surprised he lives to the end of this interview.

*Dippet refers to Myrtle as a "poor little girl." Is she that little? The chick peeps at male Prefects when they bathe, you know.

*Harry mistakenly takes Tom for a kid who pointlessly conceals helpful information from the authorities, like himself. Tom’s actually a kid with good reason for concealing information from the authorities.

*Riddle runs into a shameless hippy on the stairs—oh, it’s Dumbledore!

*I love that all the Slytherins all seem to sneak around and gather information on other students. This is why Malfoy can casually deduce Percy’s trying to catch the Heir and Ginny sent Harry the Valentine, while Harry can’t even remember the names of the other houses after Quidditch ends.

*Weird that Hagrid asks Tom what he’s doing down in the dungeons when Tom’s the Slytherin.

*Hagrid claims Aragog would never hurt anyone. Yeah, I totally take Hagrid’s word on that. It’s not like Aragog’s going to be endangering anyone by the time the book’s over.

*I’m torn between cheering on anyone who disses Hagrid, and wondering if Tom hadn’t gotten Hagrid expelled, if he might have had some other job so I never had to deal with him at all? Probably not. I won’t blame Tom for it.

*You can sure tell Dumbledore isn’t headmaster. Imagine expelling a kid just for endangering other kids and getting one killed!





IITS
Harry wasn’t sure why he was so curious about Tom Riddle. It was almost as if he was compelled to think about him. Or as if IITS.

Spring-Loaded Cat
Err…spider.

Final score: 2

Signs of things to come: Harry’s curiosity falls amazingly close along the lines of the plot. Is this the first book where Ron’s Not!Seer powers come out? Hagrid just assumes his monster pet would never kill anyone because…just because. Harry’s uncanny ability to sense good people from bad is as amazing as ever. Harry+Tom 4-EVA!

Slytherin Liquid Count: Duh-should have been doing these. Once again there’s water flooding the hallway! To review, we’ve also got Polyjuice Potion, sleeping Potion, Myrtle sloshing around in her bathroom and crying, and an earlier puddle of water.

Comments

[sarahtales.livejournal.com]

OMG SISTER M WOULD YOU WRITE DRACO'S DIARY? IT WOULDN'T REALLY BE FANFICTION, HONEST. LOOK, I BEG YOU IN CAPSLOCK.

Ahem. It's true, Ginny II just in no way resembles Ginny I. I sometimes try and slide them onto each other, or give myself reasoms to like Ginny II, and then I remember that they are just not the same person. That sassbucket wouldn't have sent that poem. (I like the poem! Avaunt, sassbucket!)

Tom's incredible handsomeness shines through paper, ink and years.

The Swindon bus stop line made me laugh and laugh like a crazed person, out loud. Shame on you, it's very late, I'll wake Penelope if you continue with this witty reign of terror!

Really, we know that Snape and Draco aren't evil because it's never mentioned that they wear pink. I totally wouldn't put it past Lucius to have some pink-lined cloaks, though.