CoS Chapter Eighteen

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

*Why do I not think it’s the reward I’d like to give him?

*Boy, the adults have never looked worse than in this scene, have they? Please tell us, oh 7th grader who’s not too bright, how you managed to get the girl out of the secret chamber in the cellar while we were all sitting around with our thumbs up our asses?

*Did Harry really break school rules doing all of this? Which ones? Don’t talk to the taps? Don’t hold your teachers at wand point? Oh, probably it’s cause he went into the girl’s room and he’s a boy.

*Very few people know that Voldemort was once called Tom Riddle. Partly because I, Dumbledore, keep it a secret for some reason.

*There will be no punishment for Ginny. Oh, let’s go better than that. No punishment and no discussion of how maybe she should have told the adults what was going on when she knew she was the one practically killing people. Let’s just declare it Ginny is Awesome Day.

*No lasting harm done—where will Dumbledore say that again? Oh right, to the second would-be student murderer doing Lord Voldemort’s bidding.

*What—how dare I compare the two at all when Ginny is so pure and true and Malfoy is so none of those things? If I were a house elf I’d iron my hands!

*Okay, they’re not exactly alike. That’s why Malfoy ought to think about what might have happened to other people while Ginny should just have hot chocolate.

*Funny how Malfoy seems to be so much more tormented by his own almost-murderous guilt than Ginny ever is. Only cowards are guilty.

*Dumbledore makes a joke about Lockhart impaling himself on his own sword. Thus implying he knows what he’s been doing all this time. And not telling anybody about it. And letting him teach. No wonder the Board of Governors love him.

*Now it’s time for the book’s lesson. Why did Harry get the bird of healing to save him? Because he was personally loyal to Dumbledore. Wouldn’t want you to think you could survive without being loyal to Dumbledore.

*Dumbledore tells Harry he has some qualities Slytherin prized in his hand-picked students. Determination, resourcefulness, a certain disregard for the rules. Parseltongue. He’s just humoring Harry of course. Slytherin only chose people for being Pure-bloods.

*So Dumbledore asks why the hat put Harry in Gryffindor. Harry says only because he asked to be. Dumbledore says yes. Um, that would be no, Dumbledore. It did not only put him in Gryffindor because he asked not to be put in Slytherin—at least not as far as we know. It might have put him in Gryffindor regardless.

*You know, many people have tried to explain to be how this scene *isn’t* Dumbledore totally agreeing with Harry’s impression that being in Slytherin proves you’re a bad person and that choosing against Slytherin is choosing to be a good person, but I’m not seeing it. The whole point really is "Don’t worry, Harry. Just look at what a Gryffindor you are—be insecure no longer in your Gryffindor-ness!"

*Only a true Gryffindor could have pulled out that sword. So to review, Harry may very well have been saved because he was a) loyal to Dumbledore and b) a true Gryffindor. If Luna had gone down there she would have been toast.

*I mean, really. Could he at least hint that, like, if he’d have been a Ravenclaw, Slytherin or Hufflepuff he would have pulled out a different but equally impressive and effective weapon? Like Helga’s battle axe, Rowena’s wand or Slytherin’s Silver Blow Dart?

*I guess they have no Gryffindors on the Board of Governors if they all agreed to suspend Dumbledore because Lucius threatened to curse their families.

*Because it’s not like everybody doesn’t really totally love Dumbledore except for those awful Slytherins.

*But more importantly—ooh, threatening to curse their families? What goes around comes around, eh Lucius?

*Luckily Lucius, as a Slytherin, sucks at lying. Dumbledore can be all smooth all the time, but when he hits Lucius with sticking Ginny with the diary the man turns into a five year old covered in jam pretending he didn’t go into the jam jar.

*Um, Lucius did not give Dobby a sock. He just threw a sock. I can’t believe that if all Dobby had to do was wait for Lucius to toss an article of clothing—in this case one which doesn’t even belong to him—he hasn’t had the chance yet. Do the Malfoys never leave clothes lying anywhere? No wonder Hermione thinks her nonsense in OotP will work.

*Of course Harry couldn’t have been a Slytherin. He doesn’t bounce on concrete.

*Dobby bids adieu, but not without reminding us how incredibly tedious he is by explaining why he supposedly didn’t just tell Harry about Voldemort before. Oh, shut up Dobby.

*So who do people think was the Heir, exactly? Am I supposed to believe that everybody knew it was Ginny all this time and nobody held it against her? This crowd? I don’t believe it.

*Exams are cancelled as a school treat. That’s not a school treat, McGonagall, that’s cancelling school. Have you never heard of a pizza party?

*The teachers (who remember don’t even know about Lockhart’s dastardly deeds) cheer that Lockhart can’t come back because he’s been injured. Hurray!

*And now DADA is cancelled as well. No use finding somebody to substitute so the kids wouldn’t lose an entire year. Was Grubbly-Plank not available?

*Draco looks resentful and sulky. Ginny looks perfectly happy, since it’s not like she’s got any reason to feel the least bit guilty for covering up for the Heir once she knew perfectly well she was the one putting people in danger and might kill someone any moment. It’s great to be one of the Chosen Ones who only have to take responsibility for your better moments. She just made a mistake. It makes her human and so even better than she’d have been if she’d done the right thing!

*And what’s the one DADA thing the kids actually did learn this year? Disarming each other through magic. You know, the thing SNAPE taught them.

*And then Ginny tells on Percy. See, Percy, why would you trust her to keep your secret? You’re not a twin.

*I won’t ask why Ginny was walking into empty classrooms herself.

*I hope everybody appreciates Percy kissing in one, though. We’ve got him to thank for the fanon trope!

*Btw, I love the way Ginny says "It’s that Ravenclaw Prefect, Penelope Clearwater. You know, the one that got—attacked." Nice switch to the passive tense, their Ginny. Attacked by whom, exactly? And why? Oh right, wasn’t she attacked right after you hunted the diary back even after you knew it would make you start attacking people?





Designated Hero
Harry Potter freed Dobby. And Dobby helpfully refused to pick up an article of clothing at the Malfoy house even when he was doing the laundry until now just so’s he could.

Hero’s Death Battle Exemption
That’s the one the Dursleys will be lamenting this summer, according to Harry.

IITS
And now we’re going to cancel all exams and DADA classes and—wait, we’re going to what? Why? Oh, iits.

Idiot World
Good thing that kid was here, or none of us brilliant Wizards would ever have found that room in the cellar.

Ken and Andrew’s Rule of Plot Holes
Little known fact, but it’s KaARoPH that is the spell that keeps House Elves enslaved against their will.

Final score: 5

Signs of things to come: Malfoys bounce. It’s in the genes. Dobby is, sadly, never going away. Ginny cares about nobody but herself. Everything about Percy is open to ridicule. Any reason to cancel school or tests is a good one. Dobby’s repulsive fawning over Harry for freeing him launches a thousand fantasies in Hermione’s head where a whole race of House Elves bows to her as their liberator.

Comments

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

I stubbed my mental toe on this part even as a brand new, uncritical HP reader. That Dumbledore's personal pet only protects DD himself or his friends is one thing. But the text, with that emphasis on how the magic fairytale bird healed Harry because he was deserving, rather conflated loyalty to DD with virtue in general. And DD's wet mouth about said loyalty was disturbing.

It's really one of those things it's hard to get past.

I remembered this as Ginny being prodded into betraying his confidence, but nope, she just blurts it out. In front of the twins. Because they weren't making Percy's life miserable enough yet. The kindest interpretation is that she's unbelievably gullible. I realize that she's wearing the exposition hat, but couldn't she have told Harry in private?

Yes, when she tells she's basically saying that of course she wasn't thinking of keeping that a secret because who would care?