A bit early this time.

[jollityfarm.livejournal.com]

But hey, I'm in the mood to work off some excess aggression. Here's Harry Potter and his manky old book.

*Harry can't have a proper conversation with people because everyone's talking about him and listening in. Mind you, he only wants to spread gossip about Draco himself, and he only got that through listening in on other people's conversations. So yes. Is that karma or not? I daresay someone could tell me.

*Hermione says that the free periods are for studying! Studying, do you understand? Shut up Hermione. I personally have found, over the years, that most people don't care that much about what your actual grades from your exams were, as long as you passed something at least vaguely relevant to the job you're going for. So yeah, it's good to do well, but not actually worth pestering people and stressing yourself out for.

*Lavender Brown thinks Ron is funny. How nice. She will later be regarded by the narrative as equal to something one might be forced to scoop up and drop in the swing-bin, even though she's done little except be a bit silly on occasion. She's probably not as pretty as Hermione either, the tart.

*On the subject of Hagrid's utter lack of talent for teaching, it seems that nobody is about to take CoMC. This despite the fact that Harry would throw a shit fit if anyone so much as contemplated criticising Hagrid. Oh, but it's not Hagrid-as-teacher they disliked, oh no. It's the actual subject! Yeah, because nobody would care about magical creatures normally.

*Aw, Neville got "Outstanding" for Herbology. As an aside, I suspect Neville will be the person in Harry's year to come back as a teacher. Which might mean that Professor Sprout has to die next book. It's an outside chance, but I'll keep an eye on it.

*Come to think of it, Neville seems to have done pretty well. Good on him, I guess :)

*Ron is doing the same subjects as Harry, which is convenient.

*I wonder why Katie Bell isn't captain? I guess that's because she might not let her mates on the team or something. Or maybe the school board considered it fairly and decided Harry had more in the way of leadership qualities, what with his teaching of DADA to a straggly bunch of sycophants.

*Professor Snape makes the room gloomy and depressing. Of course he does. Pictures of people in pain and such. Of course there are. Can't you get some nice cushions to put on the chairs or something, Severus? I hate to see you turning into a 2D cliche like this :(

*Harry reacts as if he thinks it's Professor Snape's fault that all the other DADA teachers left. It's Voldemort's fault, Harry. Read the rest of the book.

*Professor Snape is now speaking about the Dark Arts "with a loving caress in his voice". Oh dear me, Harry, could you not be biased? At all? I mean, you're actually not the Occlumens people were hoping and yet you reckon you can accurately read Professor Snape's mind and work out that he's a bad, bad man. Well, shit, nobody would ever have thought that before you came along and showed us the light.

*Well fair enough - if you want people to get a better idea of what dark magic can do to people, there's no point in sugar-coating it just because it makes the room look depressing otherwise. Pictures certainly help some people.

*Hahahahaha - Hermione memorises her answers from textbooks. She so smrt.

*"There's no need to call me "sir", Professor" Very funny, Harry. Quite a lot of teachers would have given you detention for that, I reckon.

*And then Hermione makes me dislike her a bit less by saying to Harry that he and Professor Snape sound similar. And Harry, surprised that anyone would commit his own words to heart - really! - does not disagree.

*Even now, Hermione is doing their homework for them. Dear me. I suppose she likes to play the mummy to these useless boys. Tch, boys, eh? What are they like?

*Obligatory mention of the Sluggy belly there. I think Rowling must have set herself a goal to mention it at least once every time it appears. And the moustache.

*Harry sniffs what will later be revealed as the love potion. It reminds him of treacle tart, broomstick handles and something at The Burrow. Harry/broom/treacle tart/Pigwidgeon OT4! Honest, guv.

*Oh yes, the love potion - Amortentia - smells differently according to what attracts us. As I said once before, it sounds a bit like those old stories about putting a bit of wedding cake under your pillow to dream of your true love. After all, all evidence suggests that the stuff smells like the person you ought to be fancying, since Harry hasn't quite started mooning over Ginny yet and yet the thing at The Burrow is obviously meant to be her. Hermione, meanwhile, smells freshly mown grass, new parchment and probably Ron's sweaty jockstrap or something.

*Hermione reveals she's Muggle-born and Slughorn doesn't mind. And Draco looks like he apparently did when Hermione punched him in the face. In the movie. Yeah.

*Liquid luck - so very exciting! A plot hole, to be sure, what with Voldemort never making any to get lucky and slaughter Harry first time around. Maybe it only works on people with proper souls (or pure hearts, like Harry).

*Oh, Draco. Don't you realise you don't deserve to be regarded highly by Slughorn or anyone else? No preferential treatment for you, you'll just have to suck it up and deal. Of course, Harry gets special regard, but he is special.

*I am confused at the potion turning out best when Harry follows the scribbled instructions. It seems to be suggesting that the printed instructions are actually wrong, which would surely be silly.

*Anyway, Harry wins his Felix Felicis and Sluggy says something about Lily and how ace she was, yawn. Meanwhile, once he tells Hermione and Ron about it, Hermione reckons he may have cheated and gets all snotty. Hmm.

*The flowery smell from the Amortentia arrives, and brings Ginny along with it. She's all worried in case Harry's going to get posessed by Voldemort's soul in an evil book, like her. But, Hermione does the special spell-revealing spell on the thing, and it's just a book. Written on it are the words "This Book is the Property of the Half-Blood Prince". Causing shippers everywhere to ship HP/HBP, based on nothing but a name. Well done there :)

Comments

[teratologist.livejournal.com]

I wonder why Katie Bell isn't captain? I guess that's because she might not let her mates on the team or something. Or maybe the school board considered it fairly and decided Harry had more in the way of leadership qualities, what with his teaching of DADA to a straggly bunch of sycophants.

You know, I really have trouble believing in Harry as a good coach. He's just too naturally talented *gag* at what he does. If he's never struggled with the game, it doesn't seem likely that he'll have the patience or the ability to articulate helpful advice to someone who is struggling - unless he's suddenly blessed with a far more preternatural degree of empathy with other people than he's shown up to now.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Oh, but it's not Hagrid-as-teacher they disliked, oh no. It's the actual subject! Yeah, because nobody would care about magical creatures normally.

Yeah, because animals are never a popular subject. I notice Herbology isn't suffering from lack of students, but what kind of kid would be interested in dragons and griffons and such? How could that ever be an attractive subject? Face it, if Hagrid ran a candy store people would suddenly go off the stuff while Snape's brocolli stand continue to do a brisk business.

Harry sniffs what will later be revealed as the love potion. It reminds him of treacle tart, broomstick handles and something at The Burrow. Harry/broom/treacle tart/Pigwidgeon OT4! Honest, guv.

I love the fact that Harry knows it's from The Burrow, because what Harry wants is a place in the Weasley house more than the girl. (Whereas the broomstick handle reminds him of Draco.:-D)

Lucky thing Ginny apparently reeks of flowers, suddenly. Probably comes from peeing perfume.

And yeah, I'm really happy not to know what reminds Hermione of Ron. Just his general ginger manliness, I guess. But what do you do if you're not in love with somebody yet? Obviously we're supposed to assume Hermione loves Eau-de-Ron because it's Eau-de-Ron. Would the Potion make Dean Thomas smell of Ron if he gave it to her? (Now I wonder what it smells like to Ginny: bat bogeys, chocolate and 5 days without a shower adolescent boy. Mmmm!)

Hermione reveals she's Muggle-born and Slughorn doesn't mind. And Draco looks like he apparently did when Hermione punched him in the face. In the movie. Yeah.

Having seen the clip I wonder if it startled everyone when Draco fell violently out of his chair and began to cry.

But, Hermione does the special spell-revealing spell on the thing, and it's just a book.

I guess we'll just not ask why she didn't do that back in CoS.

[q-spade.livejournal.com]

So Hogwarts sixth-years get to make drugs in class! Score!

"...it's a funny little potion, Felix Felicis", said Slughorn. "Desperately tricky to make, and disastrous to get wrong. However, if brewed correctly, as this has been, you will find that all your endeavors tend to succeed...at least until the effects wear off."

"Why don't people drink it all the time, sir?" said Terry Boot eagerly.

"Because if taken in excess, it causes giddiness, recklessness, and dangerous overconfidence," said Slughorn. Too much of a good thing, you know...highly toxic in large quantities. But taken sparingly, and very occasionally..." – pg 187

A bit like Cocaine, eh? (http://www.erowid.org/chemicals/cocaine/cocaine_effects.shtml) Yes, I mentioned this earlier but it really does bear repeating. :D

At least Slughorn mentions the negative aspects of FF, however briefly. He also notes that FF is a banned substance (although not as outright illegal as blow is in the real world).

As for Snape, I cracked up reading about his gloomy, doomy re-decorating of the DADA classroom with posters of people writhing in pain or suffering from serious magically-induced injuries. FFS, break out the Skinny Puppy and Coil albums while you're at it, Severus! ;D (Wonder if JKR is being influenced by having a go at all those Trent Reznor=Severus Snape fangirls...)

Dark Wave humour aside, Snape's likening of the Dark Arts to the Hydra (http://www.theoi.com/Ther/DrakonHydra.html) is deeply interesting. The Hydra was a water-dwelling serpent – which fits nicely with the watery symbolism of HPB, and its emphasis on Slytherin House – and one of its numerous heads was immortal. It was finally killed by the use of fire, as well as the bludgeoning/decapitation of the aforementioned immortal head. I'm wondering if there's meant to be a comparison of the Hydra to Voldemort and the DEs – if so, Snape is being all too generous. Voldy and his peeps seem more akin to the Keystone Cops than the "unfixed, mutating, indestructible" creature of myth. Although...perhaps it's a foreshadowing of their inevitable end?

(Hydra is also a constellation. (http://www.astro.wisc.edu/~dolan/constellations/constellations/Hydra.html) I was amused by the mention of a pseudo-constellation within Hydra known as...Felis! Merely a coincidence, but a neat one nevertheless.)

Snape's suggestion that one must be as "flexible and inventive" as that which one is fighting against – as well as the further commentary about concentration and mind power – is incredibly useful advice for Harry. Yet Harry perceives it as a blow to his ego, and retorts with the "There's no need to call me 'Sir' " bullshit. :(

Last thoughts: How come it's okay for Hermione to do Harry's homework, but if he follows the HPB's instructions that's "cheating"??? Shut. Up. Hermione.

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

Mind you, he only wants to spread gossip about Draco himself, and he only got that through listening in on other people's conversations.

That's different. Because it's Harry.

I personally have found that most people don't care that much about what your actual grades were, as long as you passed something at least vaguely relevant to the job you're going for.

JKR has a bizarre approach to this, anyway, where Hermione and Harry can both succeed while one works and one doesn't. So does studying pay off, or what?
But yeah, I too have found no-one IRL could care less about whether you were milk monitor or gained an A in tap class or whatever at school.

On the subject of Hagrid's utter lack of talent for teaching, it seems that nobody is about to take CoMC. This despite the fact that Harry would throw a shit fit if anyone so much as contemplated criticising Hagrid.

Really. Way to put your money where your mouth is, after all the 'Aren't you impressed by the Trio's loyalty to Hagrid?' anvils.

Neville seems to have done pretty well. Good on him, I guess :)

His stupidity was just down to a lack of confidence, since he's a Gryffindor and likes Harry. Whereas apparently Crabbe and Goyle's is just down to Evil Genes. Not that blood matters.

I wonder why Katie Bell isn't captain? I guess that's because she might not let her mates on the team or something.

Like a girl could lead the team (except Ginny, of course. Who doesn't want to do anything as attention-grabbing as Captain or Seeker, merely being content to remain in thrall to Her Man.) She'd probably cry like Cho when she lost. Or maybe she's like Ginny/Grubbly-Plank/McGonagall/Hermione and would just rather have a guy in authority.

Harry reacts as if he thinks it's Professor Snape's fault that all the other DADA teachers left.

As if he loved them anyway - like, have some respect for Quirrell's memory, Snape!

Quite a lot of teachers would have given you detention for that, I reckon.

Love his outrage - I just had to cheek him! He was cursing me! Really? In a lesson where you learn about curses? Surely not! Gawd, imagine if Zacharias Smith had done the same thing in DA.

Hermione makes me dislike her a bit less by saying to Harry that he and Professor Snape sound similar.

But it's such a major insult to Professor Snape!

And Harry, surprised that anyone would commit his own words to heart - really! - does not disagree.

Harry's so modest.

Obligatory mention of the Sluggy belly there. I think Rowling must have set herself a goal to mention it at least once every time it appears.

If we weren't reminded when people are ugly, and thus unworthy; we might actually mistake them for ordinary folk, which is of course, unthinkable.

After all, all evidence suggests that the stuff smells like the person you ought to be fancying.

I wonder if the smell changes for different people - ie. when Harry fancied Cho, would it not have smelt of the Burrow; or is there only One True Smell for your One True Love?

Draco looks like he apparently did when Hermione punched him in the face. In the movie. Yeah.

Thank goodness Rowling so carefully explained before this book that fangirls shouldn't get confused between Tom Felton and Draco Malfoy. Leading by example, huh, Jo?

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

A plot hole, to be sure, what with Voldemort never making any to get lucky and slaughter Harry first time around. Maybe it only works on people with proper souls (or pure hearts, like Harry).

Yes, it seems like there must be limits to it's powers somewhere...
Plus it's an old Red Dwarf episode rip-off (and god knows who they stole it from originally!)

Of course, Harry gets special regard, but he is special.

Poor Draco. He never gets a lucky day, I was totally rooting for him to win. Against all logic, of course - I'm stupidly optimistic like that.
But yeah, I think we all learned a valuable lesson about how evil his 'It's not what you know, it's who you know' theories were, huh? What's that? The whole 'Anti-elitism' message is completely undermined by Harry benefitting from favouritism with such frequency? Oh, well.

It seems to be suggesting that the printed instructions are actually wrong, which would surely be silly.

But you get more benefits from taking risks, blah blah, intuition over intellect, heart over head (or just, um, copying from notes rather than from a book, but that's not quite so romantic), theory is useless, practice is everything. Why does JKR even base this series in a school, when she kind of spits on brains in every chapter?

Harry wins his Felix Felicis and Sluggy says something about Lily and how ace she was, yawn.

I'm so glad Harry won. Of all the people, he's surely the one who needs everything to go his own way for once. *rolls eyes* It's also a total shock, since Harry never wins anything.
And it's also a total relevation that St. Lily was good at anything! She's gotta be, hasn't she? Couldn't have a subject that a Slytherin was better at, unless it was Dark Arts.

She's all worried in case Harry's going to get posessed by Voldemort's soul in an evil book, like her.

I was surprised she remembered something that happened to the old version of her at all.

[go-back-chief.livejournal.com]

I suspect Neville will be the person in Harry's year to come back as a teacher. Which might mean that Professor Sprout has to die next book.

Yeah, I'm keeping my money on either Neville or Draco. JKR said it wouldn't be the person you'd expect, and I think she'd think no one would expect either Neville or Draco. Unless, of course, the person returning as a teacher is someone within the triop, in which case it's Ron, no doubt.

I wonder why Katie Bell isn't captain?

I suppose that's because JKR knew this would be Harry's last chance to become the captain, and she couldn't deny him the honour of captain-ship, just as she's unable to deny him anything good. ;-)

I think Rowling must have set herself a goal to mention it at least once every time it appears.

Yes, fatties are in the books to laugh at! Really, we get it.

And Draco looks like he apparently did when Hermione punched him in the face. In the movie. Yeah.

He looks like he's crying? Dear me, I thought he only did that in the bathroom!

After all, all evidence suggests that the stuff smells like the person you ought to be fancying, since Harry hasn't quite started mooning over Ginny yet and yet the thing at The Burrow is obviously meant to be her.

I wonder exactly what the implications of this is? That it's the smell that makes you attracted to someone? Cause, well, that's kind of a new theory...