A bit early this time.
Oct. 15th, 2005 08:00 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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deathtocapslockBut hey, I'm in the mood to work off some excess aggression. Here's Harry Potter and his manky old book.
*Harry can't have a proper conversation with people because everyone's talking about him and listening in. Mind you, he only wants to spread gossip about Draco himself, and he only got that through listening in on other people's conversations. So yes. Is that karma or not? I daresay someone could tell me.
*Hermione says that the free periods are for studying! Studying, do you understand? Shut up Hermione. I personally have found, over the years, that most people don't care that much about what your actual grades from your exams were, as long as you passed something at least vaguely relevant to the job you're going for. So yeah, it's good to do well, but not actually worth pestering people and stressing yourself out for.
*Lavender Brown thinks Ron is funny. How nice. She will later be regarded by the narrative as equal to something one might be forced to scoop up and drop in the swing-bin, even though she's done little except be a bit silly on occasion. She's probably not as pretty as Hermione either, the tart.
*On the subject of Hagrid's utter lack of talent for teaching, it seems that nobody is about to take CoMC. This despite the fact that Harry would throw a shit fit if anyone so much as contemplated criticising Hagrid. Oh, but it's not Hagrid-as-teacher they disliked, oh no. It's the actual subject! Yeah, because nobody would care about magical creatures normally.
*Aw, Neville got "Outstanding" for Herbology. As an aside, I suspect Neville will be the person in Harry's year to come back as a teacher. Which might mean that Professor Sprout has to die next book. It's an outside chance, but I'll keep an eye on it.
*Come to think of it, Neville seems to have done pretty well. Good on him, I guess :)
*Ron is doing the same subjects as Harry, which is convenient.
*I wonder why Katie Bell isn't captain? I guess that's because she might not let her mates on the team or something. Or maybe the school board considered it fairly and decided Harry had more in the way of leadership qualities, what with his teaching of DADA to a straggly bunch of sycophants.
*Professor Snape makes the room gloomy and depressing. Of course he does. Pictures of people in pain and such. Of course there are. Can't you get some nice cushions to put on the chairs or something, Severus? I hate to see you turning into a 2D cliche like this :(
*Harry reacts as if he thinks it's Professor Snape's fault that all the other DADA teachers left. It's Voldemort's fault, Harry. Read the rest of the book.
*Professor Snape is now speaking about the Dark Arts "with a loving caress in his voice". Oh dear me, Harry, could you not be biased? At all? I mean, you're actually not the Occlumens people were hoping and yet you reckon you can accurately read Professor Snape's mind and work out that he's a bad, bad man. Well, shit, nobody would ever have thought that before you came along and showed us the light.
*Well fair enough - if you want people to get a better idea of what dark magic can do to people, there's no point in sugar-coating it just because it makes the room look depressing otherwise. Pictures certainly help some people.
*Hahahahaha - Hermione memorises her answers from textbooks. She so smrt.
*"There's no need to call me "sir", Professor" Very funny, Harry. Quite a lot of teachers would have given you detention for that, I reckon.
*And then Hermione makes me dislike her a bit less by saying to Harry that he and Professor Snape sound similar. And Harry, surprised that anyone would commit his own words to heart - really! - does not disagree.
*Even now, Hermione is doing their homework for them. Dear me. I suppose she likes to play the mummy to these useless boys. Tch, boys, eh? What are they like?
*Obligatory mention of the Sluggy belly there. I think Rowling must have set herself a goal to mention it at least once every time it appears. And the moustache.
*Harry sniffs what will later be revealed as the love potion. It reminds him of treacle tart, broomstick handles and something at The Burrow. Harry/broom/treacle tart/Pigwidgeon OT4! Honest, guv.
*Oh yes, the love potion - Amortentia - smells differently according to what attracts us. As I said once before, it sounds a bit like those old stories about putting a bit of wedding cake under your pillow to dream of your true love. After all, all evidence suggests that the stuff smells like the person you ought to be fancying, since Harry hasn't quite started mooning over Ginny yet and yet the thing at The Burrow is obviously meant to be her. Hermione, meanwhile, smells freshly mown grass, new parchment and probably Ron's sweaty jockstrap or something.
*Hermione reveals she's Muggle-born and Slughorn doesn't mind. And Draco looks like he apparently did when Hermione punched him in the face. In the movie. Yeah.
*Liquid luck - so very exciting! A plot hole, to be sure, what with Voldemort never making any to get lucky and slaughter Harry first time around. Maybe it only works on people with proper souls (or pure hearts, like Harry).
*Oh, Draco. Don't you realise you don't deserve to be regarded highly by Slughorn or anyone else? No preferential treatment for you, you'll just have to suck it up and deal. Of course, Harry gets special regard, but he is special.
*I am confused at the potion turning out best when Harry follows the scribbled instructions. It seems to be suggesting that the printed instructions are actually wrong, which would surely be silly.
*Anyway, Harry wins his Felix Felicis and Sluggy says something about Lily and how ace she was, yawn. Meanwhile, once he tells Hermione and Ron about it, Hermione reckons he may have cheated and gets all snotty. Hmm.
*The flowery smell from the Amortentia arrives, and brings Ginny along with it. She's all worried in case Harry's going to get posessed by Voldemort's soul in an evil book, like her. But, Hermione does the special spell-revealing spell on the thing, and it's just a book. Written on it are the words "This Book is the Property of the Half-Blood Prince". Causing shippers everywhere to ship HP/HBP, based on nothing but a name. Well done there :)
*Harry can't have a proper conversation with people because everyone's talking about him and listening in. Mind you, he only wants to spread gossip about Draco himself, and he only got that through listening in on other people's conversations. So yes. Is that karma or not? I daresay someone could tell me.
*Hermione says that the free periods are for studying! Studying, do you understand? Shut up Hermione. I personally have found, over the years, that most people don't care that much about what your actual grades from your exams were, as long as you passed something at least vaguely relevant to the job you're going for. So yeah, it's good to do well, but not actually worth pestering people and stressing yourself out for.
*Lavender Brown thinks Ron is funny. How nice. She will later be regarded by the narrative as equal to something one might be forced to scoop up and drop in the swing-bin, even though she's done little except be a bit silly on occasion. She's probably not as pretty as Hermione either, the tart.
*On the subject of Hagrid's utter lack of talent for teaching, it seems that nobody is about to take CoMC. This despite the fact that Harry would throw a shit fit if anyone so much as contemplated criticising Hagrid. Oh, but it's not Hagrid-as-teacher they disliked, oh no. It's the actual subject! Yeah, because nobody would care about magical creatures normally.
*Aw, Neville got "Outstanding" for Herbology. As an aside, I suspect Neville will be the person in Harry's year to come back as a teacher. Which might mean that Professor Sprout has to die next book. It's an outside chance, but I'll keep an eye on it.
*Come to think of it, Neville seems to have done pretty well. Good on him, I guess :)
*Ron is doing the same subjects as Harry, which is convenient.
*I wonder why Katie Bell isn't captain? I guess that's because she might not let her mates on the team or something. Or maybe the school board considered it fairly and decided Harry had more in the way of leadership qualities, what with his teaching of DADA to a straggly bunch of sycophants.
*Professor Snape makes the room gloomy and depressing. Of course he does. Pictures of people in pain and such. Of course there are. Can't you get some nice cushions to put on the chairs or something, Severus? I hate to see you turning into a 2D cliche like this :(
*Harry reacts as if he thinks it's Professor Snape's fault that all the other DADA teachers left. It's Voldemort's fault, Harry. Read the rest of the book.
*Professor Snape is now speaking about the Dark Arts "with a loving caress in his voice". Oh dear me, Harry, could you not be biased? At all? I mean, you're actually not the Occlumens people were hoping and yet you reckon you can accurately read Professor Snape's mind and work out that he's a bad, bad man. Well, shit, nobody would ever have thought that before you came along and showed us the light.
*Well fair enough - if you want people to get a better idea of what dark magic can do to people, there's no point in sugar-coating it just because it makes the room look depressing otherwise. Pictures certainly help some people.
*Hahahahaha - Hermione memorises her answers from textbooks. She so smrt.
*"There's no need to call me "sir", Professor" Very funny, Harry. Quite a lot of teachers would have given you detention for that, I reckon.
*And then Hermione makes me dislike her a bit less by saying to Harry that he and Professor Snape sound similar. And Harry, surprised that anyone would commit his own words to heart - really! - does not disagree.
*Even now, Hermione is doing their homework for them. Dear me. I suppose she likes to play the mummy to these useless boys. Tch, boys, eh? What are they like?
*Obligatory mention of the Sluggy belly there. I think Rowling must have set herself a goal to mention it at least once every time it appears. And the moustache.
*Harry sniffs what will later be revealed as the love potion. It reminds him of treacle tart, broomstick handles and something at The Burrow. Harry/broom/treacle tart/Pigwidgeon OT4! Honest, guv.
*Oh yes, the love potion - Amortentia - smells differently according to what attracts us. As I said once before, it sounds a bit like those old stories about putting a bit of wedding cake under your pillow to dream of your true love. After all, all evidence suggests that the stuff smells like the person you ought to be fancying, since Harry hasn't quite started mooning over Ginny yet and yet the thing at The Burrow is obviously meant to be her. Hermione, meanwhile, smells freshly mown grass, new parchment and probably Ron's sweaty jockstrap or something.
*Hermione reveals she's Muggle-born and Slughorn doesn't mind. And Draco looks like he apparently did when Hermione punched him in the face. In the movie. Yeah.
*Liquid luck - so very exciting! A plot hole, to be sure, what with Voldemort never making any to get lucky and slaughter Harry first time around. Maybe it only works on people with proper souls (or pure hearts, like Harry).
*Oh, Draco. Don't you realise you don't deserve to be regarded highly by Slughorn or anyone else? No preferential treatment for you, you'll just have to suck it up and deal. Of course, Harry gets special regard, but he is special.
*I am confused at the potion turning out best when Harry follows the scribbled instructions. It seems to be suggesting that the printed instructions are actually wrong, which would surely be silly.
*Anyway, Harry wins his Felix Felicis and Sluggy says something about Lily and how ace she was, yawn. Meanwhile, once he tells Hermione and Ron about it, Hermione reckons he may have cheated and gets all snotty. Hmm.
*The flowery smell from the Amortentia arrives, and brings Ginny along with it. She's all worried in case Harry's going to get posessed by Voldemort's soul in an evil book, like her. But, Hermione does the special spell-revealing spell on the thing, and it's just a book. Written on it are the words "This Book is the Property of the Half-Blood Prince". Causing shippers everywhere to ship HP/HBP, based on nothing but a name. Well done there :)
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no subject
Date: 2005-10-15 09:02 pm (UTC)Yeah, because animals are never a popular subject. I notice Herbology isn't suffering from lack of students, but what kind of kid would be interested in dragons and griffons and such? How could that ever be an attractive subject? Face it, if Hagrid ran a candy store people would suddenly go off the stuff while Snape's brocolli stand continue to do a brisk business.
Harry sniffs what will later be revealed as the love potion. It reminds him of treacle tart, broomstick handles and something at The Burrow. Harry/broom/treacle tart/Pigwidgeon OT4! Honest, guv.
I love the fact that Harry knows it's from The Burrow, because what Harry wants is a place in the Weasley house more than the girl. (Whereas the broomstick handle reminds him of Draco.:-D)
Lucky thing Ginny apparently reeks of flowers, suddenly. Probably comes from peeing perfume.
And yeah, I'm really happy not to know what reminds Hermione of Ron. Just his general ginger manliness, I guess. But what do you do if you're not in love with somebody yet? Obviously we're supposed to assume Hermione loves Eau-de-Ron because it's Eau-de-Ron. Would the Potion make Dean Thomas smell of Ron if he gave it to her? (Now I wonder what it smells like to Ginny: bat bogeys, chocolate and 5 days without a shower adolescent boy. Mmmm!)
Hermione reveals she's Muggle-born and Slughorn doesn't mind. And Draco looks like he apparently did when Hermione punched him in the face. In the movie. Yeah.
Having seen the clip I wonder if it startled everyone when Draco fell violently out of his chair and began to cry.
But, Hermione does the special spell-revealing spell on the thing, and it's just a book.
I guess we'll just not ask why she didn't do that back in CoS.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-15 11:38 pm (UTC)Because Hagrid would probably sell stuff whose effects would require a doctor afterwards. And nobody would think to say "Hagrid, we like you as a person, but your confectionery is just wrong." None of the other members of staff thought to say "Hagrid can flatten out lawns like nobody's business, Albus, but a teacher? With dangerous animals? Are you sure?" apparently.
Lucky thing Ginny apparently reeks of flowers, suddenly. Probably comes from peeing perfume.
Even Ginny's poo smells of jasmine and violets. Her armpits, meanwhile, have a light magnolia fragrance.
But what do you do if you're not in love with somebody yet?
Well, the official explaination is that it merely smells of what attracts you, so it might just smell of whatever you think is a nice smell. On the other hand, one gets the impression from the narrative that it tells you who your true love is by smelling of that person. Which is just stupid - but hey, how else would Harry ever find out that flowery Ginny was his ideal woman? :P
I guess we'll just not ask why she didn't do that back in CoS.
Would she have had a chance to? Or maybe she just didn't know the spell (as opposed to the Kloves-version Hermione, who knows everything and WHUPS ASS).
no subject
Date: 2005-10-16 07:54 am (UTC)I don't know - this is a world where the Twins are wildly popular and apparently getting rich doing the same. We call it...Idiot World!
None of the other members of staff thought to say "Hagrid can flatten out lawns like nobody's business, Albus, but a teacher? With dangerous animals? Are you sure?" apparently.
Resistance is futile. Assimilate to Albus. Since Hagrid is nice to Dumbledore and Harry, he must be suitable for a job he can't do, above more qualified candidates, endangering children. Are you suggesting some sort of crazy system where people succeed on merit and not who they know and how much we're supposed to like them?
Even Ginny's poo smells of jasmine and violets. Her armpits, meanwhile, have a light magnolia fragrance.
LOL!
it tells you who your true love is by smelling of that person.
Finding your true love at sixteen - does anyone else find that a little...bizarre? Like maybe not everyone would want to find Eternal Love after dating like, two people?
no subject
Date: 2005-10-16 11:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-16 03:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-16 08:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-16 04:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-16 10:25 pm (UTC)Some people in fandom, of course, like this whole thing. You complain about everyone in fanfiction meeting their true love aged eleven and they say "Do you think it doesn't happen? It does! My mother and father met aged twelve, married aged nineteen and are still together fifty years later!!" Well, that's nice, but it's far from being everyone's experience.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-17 07:46 am (UTC)*whistles* Mommy and Daddy Issues...
no subject
Date: 2005-10-16 07:59 pm (UTC)You mean like the Weasleys?
Or maybe she just didn't know the spell (as opposed to the Kloves-version Hermione, who knows everything and WHUPS ASS).
OMG--is Kloves still on the films? He left didn't he? Please say he did--please say he left before he gets a chance to get it on with Ginny-Sue!
no subject
Date: 2005-10-16 10:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-28 10:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-16 08:07 am (UTC)Especially in this 'verse, where the danger of death would be a total plus to most people.
I love the fact that Harry knows it's from The Burrow, because what Harry wants is a place in the Weasley house more than the girl.
Broom handles and the burrow. He should just marry Ron. Of course, then there wouldn't be the Flowers of Femininity. (What's up with that, anyway? Ginny can't be girly! Next thing we know she'll be wearing pink and not making her OMG teh feminist speeches and holding doors! Or crying like the despicable Cho!) He could marry Fred, I suppose, then he'd get the "hilarious" Weasley sense of humour.
Interesting all the potion stuff is combined with how it can only create obsession and not actual love, though...
Whereas the broomstick handle reminds him of Draco.:-D
And the treacle: http://www.livejournal.com/users/mpuppet/29623.html ;)
I'm really happy not to know what reminds Hermione of Ron.
The new parchment bit? Perhaps Hermione's true love is herself. That would be preferable, I think, but it's probably because Ron's always making mistakes or something.
But what do you do if you're not in love with somebody yet?
Blasphemy! Obviously everyone meets their soulmate at sixteen, after gaining valuable physical experience with one other person who's horribly unworthy of their glory.
I guess we'll just not ask why she didn't do that back in CoS.
I thought maybe she did? And it didn't work? I'm not sure, I thought they tried like, the kind of spell Snape tried in POA on the map?
But then if it didn't work then, why would she assume it would now?