GoF Chapter Twenty-Three

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Well, what an annoying chapter this is.

*Hermione reveals she used a ton of Sleekeazy’s Potion on her hair, not that this makes her vain at all, because now that she proved she’s prettier than all the unworthy girls she’s back to saying it’s far too much bother to do.

*Hermione announces that not all giants can be bad, that it’s just bigotry. What she means is that if a giant rejects everything about his own culture in favor of Hermione’s, he can earn being considered "one of the good ones."

*Harry is not keen on accepting Cedric’s help at the moment, which means he’s pretty much stuck waiting for someone else to help him.

*Harry complains that all Cedric told him was to take the egg into the bath, which is not specific enough, since the solution is to…put the egg in a bath. Jeez, Cedric, what is this, the Enigma code?

*As if Harry doesn’t have enough problems, he now has to deal with a far nicer and better CoMC teacher. Thou art Fortune’s Fool, young Harry.

*I’m not going to ask why Harry and the Trio haven’t seen the paper the Slytherins have seen. I guess they get the early evil edition.

*Well, I can see why Harry is so furious, what with a bunch of absolutely true things about Hagrid being printed in the paper. How could it possibly be any parent’s business that Dumbledore has hired a personal friend over more-qualified candidates and that kids get hurt in his class and that he’s involved in illegal breeding practices? Why, what if someone had done exposes about Delores Umbridge using sadistic punishment and not teaching in DADA? Harry would have missed out on a whole year of pissiness!

*Thank goodness Rita went with the half-giant thing at the end there. Now the good guys have something to totally distract them from all the real reasons Hagrid should be fired and pretend it’s just prejudice.

*What do you mean, "We all hate Hagrid?" Harry demands. Why, it’s only everyone except Harry and his buddies that hates Hagrid, and their opinions hardly count!

*Also, note that the flobberworm remark, while pure Absurdist!Slytherin humor, needs to be there because the Hippogriff part is just straight fact. Rita just forgot to include all the fandom qualifications about how yes, somebody got attacked in Hagrid’s class, but they deserved it and Dumbledore totally didn’t care.

*Do you realize that if Rita hadn’t have put in that stuff about Hagrid being a half-giant, that article would apparently have been considered a fluff piece that was highly flattering?

*Draco, like Ron, didn’t think Hagrid was a giant. I wonder if this is supposed to show that Hermione is instinctively less racist, because of course she assumed he was a giant because he was tall despite his being halfway normal, while Ron and Draco, handicapped by their actual knowledge of the world, thought he was just a big wizard because he wasn’t ripping up trees and eating people.

*Or maybe the two of them just realize what sex between a wizard and a giant woman would entail and gave Hagrid’s father the benefit of the doubt.

*Just to write it down for my own validation, yes the book makes it clear that Hagrid’s problem isn’t even just that he only likes dangerous monsters and doesn’t take precautions, but that he doesn’t give proper lessons.

*Oh, how I wished Hagrid had been killed by those spiders.

*Malfoy makes a rather odd reference to David Merrick. Are we to assume the man was not actually ill but just hexed by Gryffindors to look that way, or has Draco seen David Lynch’s movie about him. Perhaps right before he took a helicopter to the ballet? Does Draco take Muggle studies? He seriously seems the most well-versed in all things Muggle of all the kids in the book. I guess that may just be a by-product of his inferiority. Muggle is as low as you can get, so Draco is Muggle-like.

*Ron and Harry can’t believe Hagrid told Rita he was a half-giant. The fact that he DID tell her he was engaging in criminal activities is not hard to believe at all.

*Hermione, reminding us again what a good non-bigot sounds like, explains that Viktor is quite nice and therefore not at all like someone from Durmstrang. Plus he much prefers it at Hogwarts. Yep, he’s one of the good ones alright, properly ashamed of his own culture and scratching pitifully at the door to Hogwarts, wishing he was friends with Harry.

*Okay, the gobbledegook joke is funny.

*So Bagman, who has worked with Crouch far longer than Percy (whose name he knows perfectly well), sees nothing amiss in Crouch’s being absent from work. But still, it’s only Percy who’s stupid for not figuring out Voldemort’s plot.

*Harry finds time to throw in a judgmental "About time" when Ludo says he’s got people looking for Bertha. Like Arthur, he doesn’t really care about finding her, but enjoys the chance to act like he cares about everyone when it doesn’t cost him anything.

*Everyone take note of Harry’s refusing help from Bagman, proving he’s the good kind of cheater. He’s refusing his help because he’s suspicious that Bagman wants something from him. Hence his asking if Ludo offered Cedric help too. Since he hasn’t it means Ludo is cheating for Harry, not Hogwarts, and since Harry has good reason to believe he doesn’t want him to win for reasons of pure personal affection, he backs away.

*Hermione as well is disapproving…and then oddly says she hopes Bagman is helping Cedric as much. To review, the problem is not that Bagman is helping any contestants or not all of the contestants, but that he’s not helping all the contestants from Hogwarts.

*Ron and Harry have not yet achieved Hermione’s high level of ethics, and so don’t yet see why it’s only ethical that both contestants from their school are allowed to cheat.

*I’m sure Krum, at least, wants Hogwarts to win. Sort like how Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw want Gryffindor to win. There’s no such thing as friendly competition. If Krum wanted Durmstrang to win Hermione would have to dump him for being a sore loser, like Ginny did to Michael Corner.

*Hermione once again explains how non-bigots judge everyone by whether or not they conform to their own forms of behavior. Goblins don’t get her help because they’re clever and violent, even though they still have to deal with a department for the "regulation and control of magical creatures." Um, what? Isn’t that like saying that disputes involving Americans or Jews are handled by pest control?

*Errr. Bozo?

*Harry lays into Rita for ruining Hagrid’s life by exposing his life of crime. Oops, I mean by revealing he’s a Half-Giant and totally innocent and competent otherwise.

*Seriously, is it really a good idea to constantly portray bigotry as a way of covering up the true flaws of the minority person in question?

*Hermione vows to get back at Rita Skeeter. In true HP style, this means she’ll do something illegal and consider herself justified because OMG, maybe racist!!1!

*You know, I don’t see why they don’t just let Hagrid teach a class in remedial passive-aggression, since it seems to be the only thing he’s good at. In this scene he leaps on the idea that he’s an innocent man being persecuted for being a half-giant. The fact that he’s a bad teacher and engaging in criminal activities is not discussed by anyone.

*Dumbledore claims he’s gotten lots of letters from parents who remember him from their time at the school (when they didn’t have to suffer through classes with him and only had to wave to him as he raked the leaves) saying Hagrid better not be sacked. Did no one read the beginning of the article? Does it really not matter at all that he’s not doing his job? No? Okay.

*Dumbledore then announces that when his own brother was revealed to have done questionable things with a goat, he saw it as something to be proud of. So possibly facilitating animal abuse is sort of a tradition with Dumbledore.

*Hagrid then decides to recast the whole Tournament as being about him, with Harry as the underdog half-creature standing up against the Purebloods. Instead of, you know, Harry being prince of the Wizarding World, totally not subjected to any prejudice ever, cheating his way through a contest he got entered into unfairly. Cedric’s a Pureblood. That alone makes him unworthy.



Designated Hero
It’s the tragic tale of the young legacy at the family boarding school who, with the illegal help of everyone in authority, gets awarded champion of the school, a petty criminal and chronic injurer of animals and children who plays the race card rather than take responsibility for his actions, and a condescending white girl who’s come to raise up the huddled minority masses.

Exploitation Filmmakers’ Credo
Are you ever going to get near a bath with that egg, Harry?

IITS
So we’re just going to ignore the fact that a dangerous moron is breeding vicious animals on school property? Sure, why not. He’s a half-giant.

Idiot World
Voldemort, your nemesis can’t even figure out how to open a trick egg when someone gave him the answer. If you can’t beat this kid I suggest a new career. Home furnishing, perhaps.

Informed Attributes
Quick run-down of chapter 24:
Newspapers should not report crimes committed.
Hagrid is a good teacher, beloved by all, but a minority.
Harry is a minority too.
Animals can be bankers.
It’s not cheating if it’s your team.

Misdirected Answering
Ooh, let’s hear more about Hagrid’s family history. That’ll help us figure out who put Harry’s name in the Goblet!

Final score: 6

Comments

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Rupert Murdoch purchased the paper....then supporters of Harry's cause could have been freely and unfairly painted: "Those liberals hate the Wizarding World".

LOL! That would have been awesome!

[mmmarcusz.livejournal.com]

"If we ban Muggle-hunting, then the Mudbloods have won."

[artystone.livejournal.com]

Malfoy makes a rather odd reference to David Merrick. Are we to assume the man was not actually ill but just hexed by Gryffindors to look that way

I, for one, have no problem believing that.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

I, for one, have no problem believing that.

Best prank ever!

[(Anonymous)]

Why, what if someone had done exposes about Delores Umbridge using sadistic punishment and not teaching in DADA?

As others have noted, there are creepy undertones of "what goes on in school stays in school" to the books. The most disturbing aspect of Umbridge's torture sessions was that it never occurred to any student to report her, and that apparently this was just as it should be in Potterverse.

I'm no believer in Matchmaker!Dumbledore, but it's kind of touching when some fans say Canon!DD would come down on student/teacher like a ton of bricks. His teachers abusing students is clearly the least of Dumbledore's worries.

In this scene he leaps on the idea that he’s an innocent man being persecuted for being a half-giant. The fact that he’s a bad teacher and engaging in criminal activities is not discussed by anyone.

Hagrid is the one character who's most consistently protected from the consequences of his own bad choices, both by other characters and the author. I still don't get what exactly he's done to deserve it. His good guy cred -- bravery and loyalty -- is constantly undercut by his self-centered and irresponsible (not to mention criminal) actions, and he's a major asshat. If we're going to let the lovable moron off the hook because he can't help being a moron, I'd like him to be rather more lovable than Hagrid, kthx.

*Dumbledore then announces that when his own brother was revealed to have done questionable things with a goat, he saw it as something to be proud of.

This line jumped out at me the first time I read the book. It's a funny thing to spread around about your brother, even for the noble purpose of reassuring Hagrid. But most of all I was surprised by his tone. It's...strident, and openly spiteful, not at all like his usual fake courtesy towards people he dislikes. "Of course I'm not entirely sure he can read", is perhaps his bitchiest line in all of canon. It sounded like there must be a whole lot of bad blood between him and this mysterious brother. Why yes, it does feel good to be right.:)

-L

[courtaud.livejournal.com]

his line jumped out at me the first time I read the book. It's a funny thing to spread around about your brother

And now we can see how really spiteful this line was. "My infinitely more admirable brother", Dumbledore will say later. Not that he believes it anyway, but Aberforth was infinitely more admirable.

[saylee.livejournal.com]

*Oh, how I wished Hagrid had been killed by those spiders.

My hopes were raised by that, and by the fall earlier, but were cruelly dashed.


*Hermione once again explains how non-bigots judge everyone by whether or not they conform to their own forms of behavior. Goblins don’t get her help because they’re clever and violent, even though they still have to deal with a department for the "regulation and control of magical creatures." Um, what? Isn’t that like saying that disputes involving Americans or Jews are handled by pest control?

I was so angry by the way the goblins were handled in this series. It seemed briefly like we were going to get a real explanation of the reasons for the strife between wizards and goblins, but it just becomes an excuse to criticize the goblins for adhering to their own cultural values of ownership, rather than wizarding ones.

Exploitation Filmmakers’ Credo
Are you ever going to get near a bath with that egg, Harry?

"A bath?" Harry asks, "What is this 'bath' of which you speak?" Maybe that's his problem- he's secretly afraid of washing off the protective layer of grime.

[mmmarcusz.livejournal.com]

I was so angry by the way the goblins were handled in this series. It seemed briefly like we were going to get a real explanation of the reasons for the strife between wizards and goblins, but it just becomes an excuse to criticize the goblins for adhering to their own cultural values of ownership, rather than wizarding ones.

It's the big-nosed goblins' own fault, greedily hoarding gold. They started the first wizarding war through their control of the international financial markets. And they use wizard blood in their goblin rituals. It's about time we wiped out this plague.