Chapter twenty-eight

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

*Is just what he deserved, obviously, because did you hear he fired a house elf for insisting he take his psychotic son out into public and then losing him?

*God, Hermione is such a mom—why is she irritated that Ron wants more food after breakfast? What is that your business, Hermione?

*Typo! My book says Winky is gettting through six bottles a day of butterbeer.

*Hermione responds immediately to one of her house elf children of freedom gone to seed with a vague, "Oh dear."

*Harry, of course, sees Winky’s state as a possible advantage for him and goes in for the kill, asking about Mr. Crouch. Harry’s one cunning trick is to get drunken people talking. He’s the ideal boy for Ginny, who finds drunkenness amusing.

*I love it when house elves tell Dobby off and remind him that just because he kisses Harry’s arse doesn’t mean they have to. You can see why Dobby fits in with our heroes—he thinks anyone he thinks is nice to him should be automatically universally loved and admired.

*Hermione doesn’t care enough about Winky to do anything for her herself, but she will get snippy with the other house elves and tell them to just cheer Winky up, as if that’s all it will take. You know, at least the other house elves understand Winky’s situation. Hermione just keeps denying it exists.

*Hermione also manages not to notice that the house elves are standing up to her and throwing her out of their kitchen as politely as possible.

*Go Ron, telling Hermione she was rude. Can’t you just see them when they’re married? Ron will tell her she just offended someone whose house they were in and she’ll says it doesn’t matter and they’ll be trapped with only each other.

*And yet, even in DH, doesn't JKR still seem to be under the impression that Ron's the one who doesn't respect House-Elves autonomy?

*Still, you can just feel the love. Well, I can’t but apparently it’s there.

*Harry’s watching Hagrid digging. He must be fixing to be in love with him in the next few chapters, like how he watched Ginny playing with Arnold and it was a sign he had a crush on her and didn’t know it.

*Also heads up: eagle owl. That’s the evil kind of owl.

*You know, I had completely forgotten that Hermione’s letters include "go back where you came from MUGGLE." Something tells me this letter isn’t from a former Slytherin. I think this also indicates that maybe Molly’s own suspicion *is* linked to Hermione’s being Muggleborn just a little bit.

*Can I say here, that I thought DH's whole "Muggle-borns stole magic!" was one of the biggest clunkers ever and proved JKR didn't even want to think about a realistic mindset for anybody in the world?

*Hagrid, of course, shows a happy reaction to the Niffler trying to bite someone in any way.

*Ah! The mystery of Hagrid’s digging revealed! Thank goodness. The suspense was killing me, but it was well worth the wait! Finally that Chekovian gun went off!

*Um, why does Harry own a watch, btw? Did someone give it to him? And why is he so dumb as to wear it when it’s broken? Wait, I guess I know the answer to that. But why would putting it in his pocket help? Won’t the thing sniff it out there? Why am I giving this any thought?

*Wow, Pansy becomes a bigger villain in this book than I remember. Oh! I just got it. Because Hermione is having big romances in these books I’m suppose to get that Pansy is jealous at the attention she’s getting and that’s why she’s suddenly so mean. How could I have not gotten that sooner? I’m a woman—I know what we’re like.

*Any other person would have skipped Hagrid’s class entirely, but here comes Hermione towards the end with bandaged hands. Sometimes Hermione is just such a loser.

*Why does Ron not know something like the fact that Leprechaun gold disappears? Isn’t that exactly the type of thing a Wizard kid would know? Especially one who’s always complaining he’s poor and has Fred and George for brothers? It seems like being a 14-year-old who can’t tell real money from monopoly money.

*Yes, Ron, you’re right. It must indeed be nice to have so much money you don’t notice when a pocketful of galleons goes missing. I guess Harry’s just a little poor boy at heart.

*I love the way Ron constantly complains about not having money and wishes he could make extra, but never actually considers something like getting a job. I guess that’s why people like to think of his family as gentry who have come down in the world.

*Hermione threatens to get Rita back for making it difficult for her to eat dinner. By blackmailing her and keeping her from earning a living. The scales of Justice are blind, but Hermione isn’t.

*Excuse me, Hermione "Muggleborn" Granger, but we Muggles do not use "substitutes for Magic." Fuck you and the rip-off of Muggle locomotive you rode in on.

*If whatever Rita is doing is illegal, Hermione will have Rita. Meaning that she will use it to do something illegal herself for which she will not be punished. Blackmailing is illegal—but that’s in the next book.

*Homework only exists at Hogwarts at all to give Harry something to be oppressed by in between places where he’s being tormented.

*The start of the summer term would normally mean we’d be hearing about Quidditch, so we should take this moment to be grateful it’s cancelled.

*Harry’s already worked out how he’s going to cheat if he has to find a treasure—good for you, Harry!

*Oh my god, this chapter seems to be going on forever.

*Maze, Viktor grunts, his accent suddenly slipping from hammy Dracula to hammy Frankenstein.

*"Vot is there between you and Hermy-own-ninny?" Viktor asks. Harry explains Hermione just likes someone who can keep his accent consistent and somewhat related to his country of origin.

*In the middle of nervously chatting Viktor up ("Um, I thought your Wronkski Feint was to die for!" *scuffs toe*), Harry hears a noise and instinctively grabs Krum’s arm and pulls him close. Oh Harry, you sly boots!

*When Crouch interrupts Harry’s first kiss tête-à-tête with Viktor, Harry is shocked, but finds time to suddenly remember his politically correct disapproval of Uncle Vernon’s position on the homeless.

*And Crouch is muttering about…Percy, which kind of indicates that Percy really is important to Crouch. Not that anyone will indicate they were wrong about Percy about this.

*The chapter still has not ended!

*Aw, Mr. Crouch is babbling about his two sons—the real one (Barty) and the adopted one (Percy).

*Ooh, seeing more parallels with Percy and Barty as we speak.

*It’s really too bad Hermione isn’t here to see this. She would have started lecturing to Crouch on how he deserves all this because he fired his house elf.

*18-year-old Viktor helpfully turns into a useless twit so that 14-year-old Harry can impatiently save the day.

*And then here’s Snape being an idiot. And he’s also ugly. Coincidence? You decide.

*Snape's totally thinking about Lily in this scene. It's so great to finally have the depths of Snape's personality plumbed for us. It brings so much more to every scene he's in.

*This chapter is never ever going to end.

*Oh, I guess that was the moment where we were all supposed to realize that the Order communicated through their Patronuses and that Dumbledore’s is a Phoenix. Can’t imagine how I missed that the first time.

*So…Moody says Snape told him about Crouch being out there. Does he know Harry ran into him?

*Hagrid proves he’s a Gryffindor by reacting to someone spitting at Dumbledore’s feet by slamming the man up against a tree. And by explaining how good, tolerant people don’t have anything to do with anyone from Durmstrang any more than they have anything to do with anyone from Slytherin. Or any foreigners either. Didja ever notice how usually Hagrid’s really dim, but whenever he acts smart it’s to be a bigot or a bully? Yeah, me too.



The Cricket Rule
Oh, there must be crickets for Harry and Krum’s romantic scene.

Day-for-Night
And day for night. And a lovely moon. And flowery perfume on the air!

Hero’s Death Battle Exemption
You don’t see Harry getting stunned, do ya? Of course not!

Designated Hero
He’s too busy being the only person with the sense to respond appropriately to Crouch!

Foley Work
What’s that sound in the forest? Foosteps! Eeee!

Idiot World
Ron can’t recognize legal tender, Krum can only grunt alarm at the sight of Crouch and Harry keeps putting on his watch even though it’s broken. Any time you’re ready, Voldemort!

Final score: 6

Comments

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

You know, I was saying recently how I'm not really into revenge fantasies, but the few that I have in this series usually involve Muggles scientifically figuring out magic and taking away the magic of all the wizards. Idiots.

[rowanbrierbrook.livejournal.com]

you would enjoy "Wizard's Fall" by Bobmin. http://bobmin.fanficauthors.net/Wizards_Fall/Wizards_Fall.php

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Thanks!