GoF Chapter Thirty-three

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

*It’s kind of a letdown, isn’t it? Because they won’t be eating any death at all. Mostly they eat…crow?

*And starting right on the second page, Voldemort begins the James Bond Exposition rule.

*Voldemort really sounds like he knows the story of his parents, but does he? I’m not hearing anything about any love potions here.

*He also doesn't seem to make any secret about his Dad being a Muggle.

*::sigh:: I remember when it seemed like Mr. and Mrs. Voldemort a more interesting story that meant Voldemort was motivated by a twisted desire to be loved because he felt rejected by his father. Instead he just was a psycho and never wanted friends...although he's sure sounds like needy in this chapter, doesn't he?

*In this chapter I can see why we all thought Voldemort might actually have a reason for being evil. He and Dumbledore maybe differ on that. Because Tom has a better sense of what makes a good villain.

*So did all the Death Eaters still have their outfits? Did some of them have to do some quick alterations for weight gain? I can just picture somebody running around, "Mildred, where’s my robe?" "Don’t you remember, you let little Abercrombie wear it for Halloween last year." "You’ve painted whiskers on my mask!" "That was little Ellie, dear. She’s very artistic." "Well, I can’t wear it like this in front of the Dark Lord!"

*Btw, do you think we're supposed to make a connection between Voldemort noticing who's loyal enough to come when he calls when the Dark Mark burns even though he's been gone for years and Harry noting that Neville and Luna are the best for responding to their coins even though he dropped the DA?

*Voldemort seems to be suggesting the Death Eaters know about the Horcruxes.

*Being a Death Eater is SO EMBARASSING.

*Wormtail returned to Voldemort out of fear of his old friends. Err…I don’t get it either. Are Remus and Sirius really so intimidating it was worth losing a hand over? As far as I know neither of them is even looking for him. Well, he's a big coward so he's probably made them a lot scarier and cooler in his mind.

*Wormtail’s silver hand is so…belonging in another story. It’s like bionic technology.

*So the QWC was Lucius’ idea but he kept Draco out of it. Please let there be some good end to the Draco/Lucius arc in Book 7. OMG, how very sad this comment is. I'm leaving it in just to remind myself that there was no good end to the Draco/Lucius arc in Book 7. More like a loop back to Book I.

*Snape tells Bellatrix that her sentence in Azkaban wasn’t much use, but Voldemort does seem to think it’s the best thing ever. Lest we forget, Voldemort suffers from just about every Evil Overlord mental disability there is.

*Voldemort says they will recall the banished giants. If that’s supposed to validate Hagrid’s Tale I’m not buying it.

*Btw, at the end of Book VII? Giants still banished. Because Voldemort is the only one in these books with a social agenda. Where did I read this stated so well recently? Harry is the defender of the status quo and what came before. The happy ending puts everybody back in their proper place. The kids are at Hogwarts, in Gryffindor, the Goblins have no wands, the Sword of Gryffindor's back in Dumbledore's office and the slave's on hand to make sandwiches. Phew!

*Gee, Voldemort’s stated plan in this chapter sure doesn’t match up his activities for the next two years, does it. We’ll take over the world—as soon as I work up to the ability to kill a teenaged boy. Any teenaged boy.

*LOL! Crabbe is apparently the Big Death Eater That Couldn’t. I already have great affection for Crabbe and Goyle, Sr.

*Somebody should totally write a fanfic about Crabbe and his father where Crabbe becomes the talented Evil guy he is in DH for his father. Or else where he becomes a serial killer who's murdered his parents and is planning on getting Draco as his sex slave when he's sadly cut down in his prime by his own Fiend Fire.

*Nott is like the Methuseleh of Death Eaters. "You kids get off the Dark Lord’s lawn!!"

*I love Voldemort’s telling him not to prostrate himself, presumably because he’d never get up again with his rheumatism.

*Lucius is so already trying to find an angle here. Go Lucius! ETA: Oh, how wrong I was. Lucius can't be trying to find an angle. He must be thinking about whether he remembered to pick up more Peacock Chow or something.

*And Voldemort is of course ready to tell Lucius all about how he came back to life. In great detail. For several pages! I’ll bet Lucius asked him that because he knew it would buy him some time to think. Sort of like we used ask our Latin teacher about his world travels to get him distracted from Latin. Man, he had some crazy stories!

*You know, after all this is over I’d hope Voldemort wrote his memoirs of his life on the run. It sounds like it would be a best-seller!

*Wormtail, displaying a presence of mind Voldemort had not expected. Why does he not expect it? You’d think everybody would figure out by now that they *should* expect that presence of mind. Maybe you might want to study rats a bit, Voldemort. You might think they’re filthy, but they’re actually really smart and difficult to kill.

*Poor wizard though Wormtail is.... Seriously, what does the man have to do to make it obvious he isn’t a poor wizard? Become handsome and tall?

*Yeah, yeah, I know. Abusive relationship. Voldemort's systematically destroyed Wormtail's self-esteem, already chipped away at by MWPP.

*Voldemort explains he wanted Harry Potter’s blood because...well, because it was just more dramatic, obviously. The death curse may have made him weak but it did not destroy his theatrical instinct. The same one that will make him demand that nobody touch Harry but him. People think Snape was Harry's greatest DE protector, but it was actually Voldemort.

*Rowling lays on the sadism so heavy in this scene. Crucio him again, Voldemort!

*Give Harry back his wand. Yes. And then tie him to an unnecessarily slow lowering device over a tank of sharks and we’ll leave before he’s dead. Ah, the classic Evil Overlord plan.





Hero’s Death Battle Exemption
Cedric’s dead in a split second. Harry...will never die.

IITS
That’s how come the Tri-Wizard cup and not anything else I could have made a Portkey!

Idiot World
Wow. So these are the Death Eaters. Two crybabies, the learning disabled and Paul McCartney’s grandfather from "A Hard Day’s Night."

Informed Attributes
Yes, Tom, you are the most powerful wizard ever.

James Bond Exposition Rule
‘Nuff said.

Ken and Andrew’s Rule of Plot Holes
Maybe I’m wrong here but...how did Bertha know the secret of Barty Crouch being a ready and willing DE again?

Ken’s Rule of Wands
Give him back his wand. I don’t like having all this advantage.

McGuffin
I’m surprised even Harry doesn’t ask why Voldemort didn’t just make a Portkey out of something—-anything—-other than the cup being guarded by monsters with three other older kids running for it. Then again, it is Harry. (I can see Draco asking. And getting ferret-bounced again for it.)

Misdirected Answering
The story about living in the snake is great and all, but seriously, WHY THE TRIWIZARD CUP?

Nut o’Fun
You know Wormtail stopped listening to Voldemort as soon as he got that hand. He’s wondering, "Which werewolf in canon will I kill with this?" He will of course be wrong to wonder that. Wormtail's death was so anti-climactic even he forgot it happened in DH.

Final score 20 Ten, but I’m giving double on the James Bond Exposition score alone.

Comments

[teratologist.livejournal.com]

Because Voldemort is the only one in these books with a social agenda. Where did I read this stated so well recently? Harry is the defender of the status quo and what came before. The happy ending puts everybody back in their proper place.

If you find where you read that, please post a link. So depressingly true.

Status Quo Ante Quem

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

I had an idea where I'd find it and I did!

This is in the comments of a long thread, but here's that part in the comments. The poster is slashpine:

http://pir8fancier.livejournal.com/267691.html?thread=4228779#t4228779

Harry, another HP "lost boy," would have to be far more theoretical to be a real revolutionary. I.e., have a thought-out plan ...Oh wait, that's the Dark Lord, w/ the only complete theory of the social problem and a plan for change. Harry's work is to prevent that change, to return things to status quo ante quem: the way they were before. Rebellion, to create liberation rather than new forms of fascism, requires anti-hegemonic theory that I think conventional JKR would never undertake.

JKR's "rebellions" simply reaffirm the existing order. Gryffindor pranks are *rewarded* and prey upon already-stigmatized victims. They do not challenge injustice, they maintain it. Fred & George drop out...to become businessmen. It's a short-cut to status, not an opt-out. Hermione may be a smart-girl and a muggle, but her parents are dentists: conformity is their very practice!

Aside from the interesting Luna, only HP *boys* are lost. Their rebellion is just oedipal conflict, not combat against society's injustices. They're young men itching to unseat their fathers and join the patriarchy. There is no revolution happening here. As the Epilogue redundantly shows, Harry has *become* his father, training his sons in the same bigotry, with the same support from his passive red-head wife and friends.

The HP avatar of critical intelligence, Hermione, abandons its only real critique of injustice when she drops SPEW like a tomboy giving up her freedom to get a makeover and a marriage.

Re: Status Quo Ante Quem

[(Anonymous)]

Hermione as the HP avatar of critical intelligence? Why? I'd say her inteligence is very practical, devoid of critical component.

Re: Status Quo Ante Quem

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

I agree, actually. Though I suspect she probably is supposed to be the avatar of critical intelligence in the book. Scary as that may be.

Re: Status Quo Ante Quem

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not sure. She is shown as omniscient and omnipotent when plot needs it, but IMO in Potterverse the concept of critical intelligence seems alien.
The poster quoted mentions SPEW, but it rather stems from Hermione impulsive, sentimental side, not her brain.

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

*Voldemort says they will recall the banished giants. If that’s supposed to validate Hagrid’s Tale I’m not buying it.

It gets buried under all the other disappointing storyline arcs... but good God, what was she thinking? We get Dumbledore feverishly sending off his lieutenants at the end of GoF--

"Quick, Sirius, run like the wind! Gather the old, battle-scarred warriors! Send Lupin to the werewolves! Hagrid, you must go to the giants! Now! Before Voldemort has a chance to persuade them! No, no, Harry, no time to hug your father-figure! The world is at stake!"

Then she makes me read through an entire chapter of Hagrid and Madame Maxine go camping! (Foreshadowing of the camping boredom in DH!) For what? For two, count 'em, two evil giants in the climactic battle.

Oh, and where were the werewolves? Hey, did anyone ever get around to repealing that anti-werewolf legislation?

Nope. Easier to kill Lupin off with no lingering wolfish traits in his son.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Yes, now that Lupin's dead there's really no reason to worry about werewolves. Harry doesn't know any others.

Honestly, JKR maybe just bit off more than she could chew with this whole war idea. She was totally uninterested in writing about a war, so we wind up with a war that manages to be fought entirely by people one guy knows. People in France have little reason to even know tihs stuff is happening much less be needed.

[aasaylva.livejournal.com]

Dumbledore feverishly sending off his lieutenants at the end of GoF--
That's what bugged me immensely in the later books. I mean, we get the impression, time is vital, don't we? Sirius even explains it to Harry in OotP - how devastating it was for Voldemort, that his return was known IMMEDIATELY, thus enabling the good guys to rally their forces. And then? Nothing. The order doesn't seem to do anything apart from patrolling at the DoM for one year! Lucky that Voldy was just as bad - in fact, both sides seemed to be on hold for Harry to get to his seventh year because for some reason JKR had decided it had to happen then...

[mizbean.livejournal.com]

So did all the Death Eaters still have their outfits? Did some of them have to do some quick alterations for weight gain? I can just picture somebody running around, "Mildred, where’s my robe?" "Don’t you remember, you let little Abercrombie wear it for Halloween last year." "You’ve painted whiskers on my mask!" "That was little Ellie, dear. She’s very artistic." "Well, I can’t wear it like this in front of the Dark Lord!"

OMG, that made me laugh outloud. It doesn't help that when I first read this book I kept picturing the Death Eaters looking like the masked killer from the movie Scream.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Ha! I pictured the same thing sometimes! I wonder if Lucius made his mask look nicer.

[kaskait.livejournal.com]

*Voldemort really sounds like he knows the story of his parents, but does he? I’m not hearing anything about any love potions here.

Yeah, Rowling pretty much dumped all her ideas good and bad, right onto the page. This stray thread of Riddle being just outright abandoned is a good example. She had to do loads of backpedaling when this didn't fit her "true" vision. A good editor could have stopped that, if she let them. I basically believe that she was up the creek with no paddle while writing this series.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

It's a weird combination because on one hand little things mentioned tend to come up again so you're rewarded for being obsessive, but then otehr things just fall away and you're not supposed to think that way.

[lachlanm.livejournal.com]

sistermagpie: *He also doesn't seem to make any secret about his Dad being a Muggle.

But the Death Eaters, who don't (except for Lucius, I guess) know he's a half-blood, aren't there. His family exposition takes place when only Peter and Harry are there. And I always thought that was really funny, because it's like he can tell Harry, because Harry isn't his servant, because knowing his blood status wouldn't affect Harry's opinion of him, and because Harry isn't really close enough to any Death Eaters to be believed if he said Voldemort was a half-blood. But the funny part is that none of this stuff applies to Peter, but Voldemort is perfectly happy to say everything in front of him because Peter just doesn't count.


sistermagpie: *Wormtail’s silver hand is so…belonging in another story. It’s like bionic technology.

Now I'm imagining an athletic!Peter as the Six Million Galleon Man.


sistermagpie: *Poor wizard though Wormtail is.... Seriously, what does the man have to do to make it obvious he isn’t a poor wizard? Become handsome and tall?

No, that would only prove he isn't evil.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

I'd forgotten the DEs weren't there yet--I think I might have just figured Peter as one of them, and his general attitude being sort of blase about it. Though it's funny that this fact never came out one way or another. A better question is why Dumbledore or Harry just didn't publicize this guy's backstory, after all.

[byoutekinaeiyuu.livejournal.com]

Voldemort explains he wanted Harry Potter’s blood because...well, because it was just more dramatic, obviously. The death curse may have made him weak but it did not destroy his theatrical instinct. The same one that will make him demand that nobody touch Harry but him. People think Snape was Harry's greatest DE protector, but it was actually Voldemort.

Voldemort is SO Griffindor here really... If only sorting hut didn't give a damn about a kid's opinion I sooo don't see him in any other house.

I don't get why there aren't any good ff with Harry Potter, The WW Next Greatest Villain (or I can't find any)? Only I think he'd be a much crueler and bloodier one, he's so full of 'love' after all. ;]

[indongcho.livejournal.com]

Well, Guardian's Song has been working on an AU where Harry is the dark lord and Tom Riddle the boy who lived. I don't think she's posted any of it, though...

[byoutekinaeiyuu.livejournal.com]

Pity. It'd be interesting. Somehow I can see little Tom as a much better savior of the WW. He's brighter then Harry and to me seems more compassionate (if only a little bit). And Voldie would have never ever chosen Ginny as his girlfriend :) And there would be no Hermione, and Dumbledore wouldn't have his way so easily with him :)

Again, you made me feel HP fanon is so better then canon at times. :/

BTW, nice icon :)

[jodel-from-aol.livejournal.com]

Well, in all fairness; to the DEs Tom only claimed that his father was burried there in the graveyard. Since Marvlo Gaunt is all but guranteed to be burried there as well, that information alone doesn't suggest he is a Muggle. There are documented wizards in that area. Parselmouths as well.