OotP Chapter Seven

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

*If you ever need to get to or draw the MoM, just read this chapter. If not you could potentially skip it.

*Molly is very mothering, dressing Harry in freshly laundered jeans and tee-shirt. What's weird is, she wets his hair down and makes sure he's pressed, yet doesn't dress him in a suit. Wouldn't you expect a suit for a trial? Or perhaps, you know, those Wizarding robes we keep forgetting exist?

*Also...freshly laundered? By whom? How do Wizards do laundry exactly if they don't have House Elves? The Weasleys don't seem like they'd have a washing machine, yet we've yet to say washing day.

* Ron is asleep, saving us from a conversation where Harry must tell us again how worried he is about the hearing.

* When Tonks and Remus are speaking in the beginning Harry is glad he's not expected to join in the conversation. I'd have assumed he'd want to hear what they were talking about, assuming it was about him since everything is.

*ETA: I'll just fill in the conversation he probably missed:

Lupin: Boy I'm tired. And old. And a werewolf. And not interested enough in you to show the tiniest bit of enthusiasm or attraction.

Tonks: I love you too! If we ever break up I'll pine away and lose my magic powers!

* This chapter is really one long description: You get to the visitor's door of the MoM by going to the centre of London, stepping into a broken telephone box and being lowered into the ground. The lowering phonebox seemed a little too Get Smart for the WW. You'd think they would just be zapped wherever they're going. See also: cubicles in the offices. Cubicles don't fit. As Mira said, rows of desks like Bob Cratchitt yes, cubicles no.

*Anyway, then there's this big ministry-type building with the Symbolic Statue and everyone coming and going by floo. Inter-office memos fly. There's lots of departments, including a department on OBLIVIATION. Um, yipes.

*ETA: Oh god, the statue. Which turns out to be vulgar not because all those other creatures shouldn't be looking up adoringly at the superior Wizards, but because Wizard's shouldn't be quite so open about that particular truth. Remember kids, it's not about treating others as equals, it's about being paternalistically responsible for your inferiors so everyone can see just how superior you are. That's the natural order of things.

*ETA again: Post-Voldemort, that exploded statue has of course been recast with Harry and Hermione as the Wizard and Witch. Now *that's* a better world!

* "Sounds like a serious breach on the ban of Experimental Breeding to me," says Arthur's colleague regarding fire-breathing chickens. Don't suppose Hagrid's been fined at all, has he?

* A chill goes down my spine at the introduction of Perkins. Then I remember he's not Pellenor Wilkes and did not kill la_pensee. I am still watching you, Mr. Perkins.

*ETA: Amazing the difference in my reactions to the end of Nocturne Alley and the end of HP.

* Percy seems to have walked out of the family photo on Arthur's desk. Are we to assume that a picture taken when Percy was happy with his family has been changed by his estrangement? (One wonders why nothing odd happened to that Potter wedding photo.) Or did Percy merely "appear" to have walked out and really Arthur blasted him or something? I discount anything JKR says about wizard art or photography in interviews. Or anything else, really.

* According to Arthur, Anti-Muggle pranks are common. I get what JKR is getting at--that all those bizarre things that go wrong in our own lives are magical pranks, like toilets going crazy, losing your keys and presumably dryers eating your socks. But from what we see of the WW they barely take notice of the Muggle world in general. Do wizards routinely care enough about muggles to prank them? Arthur is supposed to be obsessed with Muggles but he can't handle Muggle money, though England's decimal system is quite simple. Even to someone used to sickles, it's hard to believe a grown man shouldn't have a handle on it by now. If Arthur studies Muggles and can't function at a level most 5-year-olds have mastered, who are these wizards booby-trapping toilets and convincing Muggles to buy random keys? (Even 11-year-old Malfoy seems to know more about them than Arthur if he weaves helicopters into his tall tales.) So are wizards routinely harassing us and obliviating us (giving us good reason to hate them) or not?

*Regardless, if this is what they do with their time, wizards=childish idiots.

* Arthur makes a big show of not knowing Order members at work, while whispering asides that make it clear it's a show. No wonder Snape must have seemed like he had supernatural dark magic spy powers.

*Honestly, how can people insist these books are totally adult and sophisticated and NOT CHILDREN'S BOOKS AT ALL when you see the way the adult spies are supposed to work?

* Sirius is being tracked, and the Order is giving out false information about him. Again, the Order works exactly like the Ministry and people are just supposed to know which information is true and which is false.

* The Ministry changes the time of Harry's hearing to add to the beaurocracy-nightmarish world of OotP, though again it's kind of hard to feel that much affront at the methods knowing that our guys would do the exact same thing if it suited their purposes and it would be presented as very clever and satisfying.

* Plus, of course, there's such a thing as a Time Turner, although so far that seems to only be considered useful when something really important is at stake, like Hagrid's stupid pet hippogryff.

*Maybe Obliviate charms damage the Wizard population in general when they use them, and that explains why they seem to never remember they have the power to do something whenever it totally destroys the plot it's most important.



Since nothing really happens in this chapter, the Jabootu scores are rather low. However, the three Jabootus hit repeatedly throughout.

Misdirected Answering:
Michael Caine's English accent could have been explained several times in this chapter.

Nut o’ Fun:
Department of Obliviation. Yipes again.

Whooshing Powder:
Actual whooshing all along the corridor for the floor network!

Comments

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

At least he's in good company being nobody. The things that could have been interesting that were dropped or made less so in DH are legion.

[anehan]

You mean, basically everything, right? Because I don't remember seeing any interesting plotlines in DH.

[jodel-from-aol.livejournal.com]

Oh, now, I'm sure he is Arabella Figg's brother.

(Just compare their descriptions, and general demeanor. Plus, they are around the same age., and it's a very small world...)

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

*ETA again: Post-Voldemort, that exploded statue has of course been recast with Harry and Hermione as the Wizard and Witch. Now *that's* a better world!

NEW STATUE REVEALED AT MINISTRY OF MAGIC
by Rita Skeeter

Yesterday, the newly-cast statue of The Natural Order was unveiled in the Atrium of the Ministry of Magic. Speculation about the statue had been rife in recent months, as it was rumor that He-Who-Died-But-Didn't-Really had been seen flitting in and out of the artist's studio for sittings.

True enough, as it turns out, for the representation of the wizard in the statue sported spiky, unruly hair, round glasses, and the familiar lightning-shaped scar. More surprising was the witch, who turned out to have bushy hair and perfectly-sized teeth. In short, she had been modeled on the likeness of Hermione Granger, newly appointed head of Magical Enforcement. According to a Ministry Spokesman, this singled a new direction in the Wizarding World Order. When pressed to articulate what that new world order consisted of, the spokesman gestured to the statue and said, "See for yourself."

The new statue takes advantage of the transformative magic employed with the Potter's Memorial in Godric's Hollow, changing shape as one advances, retreats, or circles the piece. This allows for a more comprehensive view of wizards and our place in the world. From one perspective, the statue shows a grateful elf handing the wizard a sandwich and receiving an approving pat on the head. From another, the elf (with "x"-ed out eyes), expires dramatically from a knife-wound, while the witch and wizard show their approval with thumbs-up gestures.

A third perspective reveals a goblin selflishly hugging a large sword, while the witch and wizard nobly raise their wands to stun him.

A fourth perspective shows the wizard killing a large snake, which is entwined around a dead long-haired wizard holding a ripped photograph in his clenched fist. The plaque at the base of the statue explains that the dead wizard represents half-bloods, and we can only applaud the Ministry for acknowledging those of mixed-blood ancestry. Obviously, the rumored trend towards greater tolerance is more than empty talk!

There are even Muggles included in the statue, which caused some controversy among the Wizangamot. The older members felt that to include Muggles was to break down all proper distance between the Wizarding World and the cultural wilderness that Muggles dwell in. Nevertheless, the reformers prevailed and the newest statue depicts a Muggle reverently placing a cup of tea at the foot of the wizard, while a Muggle couple, seated on a sofa, are pelted with small, stone mead glasses. Oddly, the first Muggle is sporting a pig's tail, but this correspondent was unable to ask the artist about the symbolism. We assume it's symbolic, for the latest scientific evidence disproves the theory that Muggles are descended from pigs.

The final depiction of the statue involved no non-wizard beings. In this view, the wizard and witch were shown performing intricate spells, while a third figure--also a wizard--was depicted clumsily waving a broken wand, while simultaneously failing to keep a quaffle from going through a hoop. This third wizard, who was a bit taller than the other two, looked vaguely familiar, but the name of the model has slipped this correspondent's mind.

[(Anonymous)]

That was overtly beautiful :)It should be posted in a more visited place.

[savagedamsel10.livejournal.com]

FTW! This so desperately needs to be illustrated! XD

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Awesome! Rita Skeeter lives!!

[(Anonymous)]

There could be also something with horses- I mean centaurs. Or Muggle couple with kangaroo and koala.

[savagedamsel10.livejournal.com]

On the whole Granger parents issue - I know it sounds hopelessly pedantic and fan-wanky but seriously, how does sending the parents to Australia work when they have screwed up memories/identities and most likely no proper legal identification? They're most likely to end up in a mental ward or detention centre because they can't get their stories and papers straight and besides that, Australia has horrifically harsh laws on immigration, especially illegal immigration .

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

This is another one of thos "please stop pretending these books are for adults" moments. Because yeah, there's like a million questions for how on earth this is supposed to work.

That said, this one question I would answer by saying that she seems to have turned them into a couple who's "dream" was always to move to Australia, so presumably she just gave them the desire and they completed all the proper paperwork.

Err...that is they would try to. They wouldn't actually be able to completely any proper paperwork because their identies are fictitious. So did Hermione make magical copies of all their Muggle ID under their new fake personas? Because I can't imagine she'd really be able to do that. And even so I would imagine it would take a while for them to be able to move to Australia even if they had the paperwork. They'd barely have left before coming back (if Hermione remembered to bring them back). And how did they close down their dental practices if they thought they were other people?

Bah! Down this road lies madness!

[arcanetrivia]

The Weasleys don't seem like they'd have a washing machine, yet we've yet to say washing day.

I think there's, like, a one-line mention in DH of Molly hanging some clothes on a line...?

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Wow! That's impressive! Though I suspect it's part of the regular "show Molly doing domestic things from pre WW2 England rather than any thought-out way as to how Wizards do laundry.

[arcanetrivia]

Impressive that it's there, or that I remembered? ;)

And yeah, I agree. Just sayin'.

[splintercat.livejournal.com]

*ETA: Amazing the difference in my reactions to the end of Nocturne Alley and the end of HP.

NA is still my personal canon. <3

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Now that was an ending.

[aasaylva.livejournal.com]

ETA: Amazing the difference in my reactions to the end of Nocturne Alley and the end of HP
Help! I seem to have missed something crucial. What are you referring to? sounds like some sort of alternative ending to DH? Please????

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Nocturne Alley was an rpg that ran for a couple of years, after GoF and before HBP. Most of the actual game was hidden so only players saw it, but the premise was that Hogwarts had gotten livejournals the kids weren't supposed to post in, and the adults got them too. So you'd figure out stuff that was going on in bettween the postings and conversations in the comments. It was great. In it, Perkins turned out to be a metamorphagus DE and he murdered poor Pansy in front of Draco right before Voldemort and the DEs attacked the Great Hall on Thestrals (the kids' wands had all been taken away before then for weighing for NEWTS).:-(

[(Anonymous)]

Are we to assume that a picture taken when Percy was happy with his family has been changed by his estrangement? (One wonders why nothing odd happened to that Potter wedding photo.) Or did Percy merely "appear" to have walked out and really Arthur blasted him or something?

Probably we're meant to think the former, and never mind the logic. But in fact I wouldn't put it past Arthur to have done something to the picture. Like the wonderful father he is, he's worked himself into a fine lather of offended vanity – I mean righteous wrath. Note that his reaction to something he doesn't want to hear is almost identical to Fudge's, ie mulish denial and anger, but in Arthur it's a sign of virtue. Because it's really about Percy being disloyal. Really.

Do wizards routinely care enough about muggles to prank them?

The evil ones, maybe. The good ones have advanced morally to the point where they think of Muggles as a species of insect, hence beneath their notice.

* The Ministry changes the time of Harry's hearing to add to the beaurocracy-nightmarish world of OotP, though again it's kind of hard to feel that much affront at the methods knowing that our guys would do the exact same thing if it suited their purposes and it would be presented as very clever and satisfying.

JKR keeps setting up her heroes as victims and then reneges on actually victimizing them. Any potential for Harry being in jeopardy got squashed by Ludo Bagman's trial, which confirmed that wizards are such desperately shallow starfuckers you couldn't pay them to convict a celebrity. (Oh Harry! Show me your big Patronus again!)

-L

[ladymauv.livejournal.com]

Note that his reaction to something he doesn't want to hear is almost identical to Fudge's, ie mulish denial and anger, but in Arthur it's a sign of virtue.

But, but, Arthur was right, and Fudge was wrong! It totally doesn't matter how you treat other people when you're the one who's right!!

...I think that sums up the entire morality of the books. *shudders*

[(Anonymous)]

"The evil ones, maybe. The good ones have advanced morally to the point where they think of Muggles as a species of insect, hence beneath their notice."

No, no! When good wizards abuse Muggles hilarity ensues! After all, what could be funnier than Hagrid practicing dangerous magic which he is unable to do properly on an 11-year old boy and putting him in a hospital! Or what about slipping the same boy tongue enlarging sweets 3 years later? Great fun - he would have suffocated if Mr. Weasley had already left, more is the pity. But he deserved it! I am sure that the driving licence examiner who dared to fail Ron deserved his Confundus as well. Of course, we have seen that Confundus can disorient a person for better part of the day - but who cares if a _driving_ examiner dies in a crash as a result as long as Ron can freeload once again?


"JKR keeps setting up her heroes as victims and then reneges on actually victimizing them."

Well, with Lupin and Sirius it sorta kinda stuck. But regarding Harry - yep.

" Any potential for Harry being in jeopardy got squashed by Ludo Bagman's trial, which confirmed that wizards are such desperately shallow starfuckers you couldn't pay them to convict a celebrity. (Oh Harry! Show me your big Patronus again!)"

I soo wanted and expected to see Bagman as one of the cohort of ex-Gryffindor DEs which would be finally unveiled in the last book, the book that would demonstrate shades of grey, maturity and House unity. Clearly I was living in a completely different universe from one Mrs. Rowling.

[anehan]

I am sure that the driving licence examiner who dared to fail Ron deserved his Confundus as well.

Exactly. It's so hilarious that Ron had to use Confundus to pass his driving license examination, because it's not like there's any real reason for us stupid Muggles to demand that people know how to drive cars before they are allowed into the traffic on their on. After all, it's not like anyone ever dies in car accidents.

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

You're missing the important point here, helkamaria. Wizards don't tend to die in car-wrecks. As long as they don't harm themselves, what's the big deal?
God, get a sense of humour! Maybe one of the Muggles would be harmed in an amusing way, or else be obnoxious prior to the accident and therefore deserve it. You have to consider these issues before worrying about politically correct stuff like safety, or else you're just another bureaucratic Umbridge tormenting Hagrid.

[anehan]

I'm sorry, o great moderator of ours. I feel properly chastened now, yet it is as if a flame had lit inside me. You have shown me the true way to salvation. I shall hereafter dedicate myself to spreading the Gospel.

[mmmarcusz.livejournal.com]

* Sirius is being tracked, and the Order is giving out false information about him. Again, the Order works exactly like the Ministry and people are just supposed to know which information is true and which is false.

Also, pretty much everybody in the Order is trusted with a scary amount of info. Even Hagrid and Mundungus are allowed to know that Dumbledore and his cronies are harbouring Sirius Black.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Even after they spill important information to people they're still given more, in fact. But then with Dumbledore you figure the only information he gives out to Hagrid is info he secretly wants spilled. All the really important information he keeps to himself because he's the only one who can handle the truth.