Deathly Hallows, chapter 5

[anehan]

Fallen Warrior

* Well, that was boring.

...

All right, all right, I'll do it properly.

* Hagrid is alive. Damn. For a moment, I got hopeful there.

* The Order has placed protective charms on the Tonkses' houses. These charms seem to be able to keep Voldemort away, so why aren't all crucial places protected like this? How come the Death Eaters can get to the Ministry, Hogwarts, the Weasleys, you name it? Why did Amelia Bones die in her home if this kind of protective charms existed?

* Harry wallows in guilt. If something happened to anyone else, it would be his fault for endagering them, never mind that the plan wasn't his idea. Am I the only one who thinks JKR put this charming little display of guilt there so that the readers could assure themselves that of course Harry wasn't guilty of anything wrong, no indeed?

* If JKR wanted to convince me of Harry's ability to feel guilt, maybe she should have made him feel guilty when he really was guilty. Like when he, say, cast the Cruciatus Curse.

* Ted calls Andromeda Dromeda. My, what a hideous nickname. It's a bit too close to "dromedar" for my comfort; it makes me think that Andromeda looks like a camel.

* You know, it just occured to me to wonder why the Order permitted Hermione and Ron take part in this rescue mission. Previously, they've been all about protecting them, even to absurd lenghts. What's changed now?

* Harry is sure no one in the Order would have betrayed him. Considering the fate of his parents, his trust is touching. And by "touching" I mean "naïve".

* George's ear can't be restored, because it's been cursed off. Sounds like something JKR came up with just to make her heroes' life more difficult.

* Molly says she can't make George's ear to grow back, which seems to suggest that in ordinary circumstances she'd be able to do it. I always thought something like growing body-parts back would be a Healer's job.

* Aha! So Sectumsempra is Dark Magic. It still doesn't tell us what this ever-so-dangerous Dark Magic is. The distinction between ordinary and Dark magic has always seemed quite stupid to me. Even the most innocuous charm can be used harmfully.

* "Always the tone of surprise," Ron said. If only he could keep this up he'd be a much more interesting character. Unfortunately JKR seems to find it necessary to make him as stupid as she can, probably to make Harry look better. A guy's got to be really dumb to be dumber than Harry.

* Mad-Eye's dead. Why, of why couldn't it have been Hagrid.

* I really hate Fleur's pseudo-French accent. She's been in England for two years now. One would think she had lost most of it by now.

* "'Ear, 'ear." Very funny. Not.

* "The suddenness and completeness of death was with them like a presence." Now this, this is funny.

* Harry's histrionics are rather amusing as well. Yes, Harry, you've got to leave because your presence puts the others in danger. Never mind that they have chosen to fight this far. Not everything is about you, you know.

* Such a drama-queen, Harry is. One more thing he has in common with Voldemort, in addition of both being orphans, Parselmouths and addicted to the Cruciatus Curse, among other things.

* No one has heard of a wand performing magic on its own. They just haven't met Harry's wand. It's pretty much got to be special since Harry is so dumb he can't tie his shoelaces. Someone's got to know what to do.

* After an obligatory Cruciatus scene (one would think Harry would have enjoyed that, but no, Harry only enjoys Cruciatus Curses he himself casts) the chapter ends. Finally.

* See, I told you. It was boring.



Box Picture:
Harry Potter is The Tortured Hero.

Ken and Andrew's Rule of Plotholes:
Why isn't every place protected by the Order's protective charms?

Selling Wood:
Oh Harry, how tortured you are.

Final score: 3 Why, oh why does nothing happen in these chapters? I'm going crazy here.