Halfway through the book...

[jollityfarm.livejournal.com]

...and I did tell my flist I'd be putting up this chapter, so here you go.

*It's Christmas in the book now, how very timely. Apparently, the Great Hall requires twelve Christmas trees. I imagine they're charmed to stop any shedding, or that'd be a fuck of a lot of needles for poor Filch to sweep up (and I just imagined Mrs. Norris getting needles in her little paws :( )

*There's also mistletoe, with girls gathered underneath waiting for Harry. I suspect the other people in the school are curiously unsympathetic. In fact, I find myself curiously unsympathetic. It's not even as if they block his way - he knows Secret Passages. So it's just less sexy people that can't get past. Come to think of it, what the hell were they thinking to hang mistletoe up in school corridors anyway? Considering it seems to have the same significance in Hogwarts as it does in modern Muggle cultures (otherwise the girls wouldn't be crowding under it), you'd think a supposedly respectable school would seek to avoid this sort of thing. I guess our "beloved" headmaster thought it'd be just the ticket to inspire love and kindness. Try telling that to someone who can't get to the lavatory because the corridor's blocked by a group of mad girls waiting for Harry Potter.

*Ron is more cheerful since getting attention from Lavender. Harry is resentful of having to "put up with" Lavender, who "seemed to regard any moment she was not kissing Ron as a moment wasted". Nobody will say anything to Harry when he's in the period of regarding any moment he's not kissing Ginny as a moment wasted. After all, this is perfectly natural.

*Ron still has scratches from Hermione's tiny canaries. As others have said, I don't think they could have done that scene with Ron and Hermione's roles switched, because people would regard that as a shame and Ron as a violent beast.

*Hermione, meanwhile, cares so little about what Ron is doing that she can't bear to be in his presence lest she is engulfed by waves of indifference. Or something. Anyway, she's in a dignified strop right now, which clearly proves that she and Ron are MFEO blah blah.

*Yet again, Harry has learned more from the HBP "than Snape or Slughorn have taught me". Foreshadowing - it smells like cheese. Or maybe that's just my spaghetti topping.

*Hermione warns Harry of Romilda Vane's love potions. Again, it would clearly be played for shock value if a man were to slip a love potion into the food or drink of a girl. Don't we get warned about people who do stuff like that? If we found in book seven that someone (please don't say "Snape") had done something like that to a female (*weep*), the whole fandom would explode like a pustulent infection about how such and such Bad Man was "clearly a rapist".

*They're Fred and George's love potions, incidently, and "probably work". How useful that these boys spend their time and Harry's ill-gotten Triwizard winnings on manufacturing magical rohypnol. It says something that the Death Eaters have better things to do than bother with that stuff. You know, wanktacular as it may sound, I prefer my pre-HBP idea that "love potions" was just the polite term for "aphrodisiacs". At least "magical viagra" doesn't have such worrying connotations.

*Ginny is cropping up in Harry's dreams. Thankyou for sharing that with us, Captain Damppatch. *shudders*

*Harry spins the conversation round from sneaking potions in to Draco sneaking that necklace in. Hermione says no, since putting stuff under a concealment charm would be detected by Filch, but just putting stuff in another bottle could be cheerfully bypassed. Seems to me there's some holes in this whole "using magic for everything" stuff.

*Oh noes! Madam Pince has seen Harry's scribbly Potions textbook and unleashes the fires of WOE. But! This does lead Harry to theorise that Madam Pince and Argus Filch are sekritly hot for each other. This is, hands-down, the best pairings revelation to come out of HBP XD

*Meantime, Hermione and Ron are still in a piss, leading to Hermione weeping about stuff in the toilet, and being discovered by Luna. Luna simply has to get in a mention of how nice Ginny is: apparently, she stopped boys calling her "Loony" in transfigurations. Gryffindor has Transfigurations lessons with Ravenclaw now? But anyway, Harry and Luna are now going to Slughorn's party together. As friends, of course. Ginny takes time out to compliment Harry for being kind to Luna. Harry wishes he was taking Ginny instead. Le Woe.

*Parvati and her sister were apparently nearly removed from Hogwarts. So much for it being the safest place ever - I guess even the dimmer bulbs are working it out now.

*Hermione is "going out with" Cormac McLaggen. "Didn't you know?" Oddly enough, no. Ah, romantic gameplaying is so entertaining and not at all dreary to have to read about.

*Slughorn's office sounds horrible, but I'm not really a party person. Especially not when it's crowded. It's bad enough Christmas shopping in some places :(

*Slughorn wears a smoking jacket and a matching hat. Whatever you think of the guy himself, you've got to admire his fashion sense. What a dandy!

*Apparently, vampires in the HP universe get girls "curious and excited" as much as they do in this one. It's the dinner jackets, isn't it?

*Harry's biography can wait until he's old enough, damnit. I don't care how exciting his life's been, he's sixteen.

*Apparently, Hermione considered Zacharias Smith as a party date. Are there no depths to which she would stoop?[/fake horror] Actually, I like to think Zacharias would turn her down ("I'm going with Zabini"). Anyway, Harry is "revolted" that she even considered such an unwholesome prospect just to piss off Ron. Just because you wouldn't shag him, Harry. Look at your taste in women.

*Anyway, McLaggen is no gentleman, and Hermione wishes she had asked someone else. How fun *fails to care on a monumental level*

*Professor Trelawney has been drinking a lot, which is apparently hillarious. This makes me sad in ways I can't quite describe.

*Slughorn likes to come and tell people how brilliant Harry is at Potions. He says only a few have such an ability, that "even Severus" apparently failed to measure up to Harry's sainted mother. Teh irony wins the whole internet, although if this is used as proof that Professor Snape was clearly in love with Harry's mother, I shall eat book seven and declare it better digested that way.

*But never mind that! Draco suddenly appears, being led by Filch. Trying to gatecrash, apparently. But, besides all the kerfuffle, Harry notices Draco looking ill. Harry worries so for him. Seriously, though, poor Draco :( professor Snape leads him away, and Harry naturally decides to stalk them both.

*Harry overhears Draco say "Who suspects me?" People pre-HBP insisted that Draco cared more about Harry than Harry ever would about him. Naturally, they are now insisting that they were misheard, or quoted out of context, or whatever the stupid excuse of the week was round their way.

*Bellatrix knows Occlumency too. A plot point, I'd wager.

*Professor Snape admits to "acting". Still, we don't know if he's saying this to appease Draco or because he means it. Of course, enough people would insist that anything Professor Snape said would probably be true if it cast him in a bad enough light. I say we still don't know, so ner.

*I can't imagine "glory" would be quick to come from what Draco's trying to do, unless he means "Voldemort's approval". Nevertheless, he storms out soon after and Harry is left to be a big drama queen after that.

Comments

[lilith-morgana.livejournal.com]

If we found in book seven that someone (please don't say "Snape") had done something like that to a female (*weep*), the whole fandom would explode like a pustulent infection about how such and such Bad Man was "clearly a rapist".

This is going to happen, isn't it? Snape and Lily and the Love Potions proving once and for all what a Bad Man Snape is, regardless of what he may do in book 7.

(Oh god it will unleash the floods of pure wank similar to those that followed Spike-and-Buffy-and-the-crappiest-rape-plot-in-the-history-of-television. Hold me? .)

I've seen people draw the conclusion that Snape = Ever So Desperately Evil based on things like his height (people who are shorter than Sirius are most definitely Not Manly and therefore also extremly likely to be evil to compensate for it) and his hand-writing (people who write in certain ways are most definitely Not Good and therefore likely to murder and torment just for fun) so I can only imagine what a Love Potion in his past would do to the Snapewank.

"Hahaha, he deserved to be bullied for what he was going to do in the future! James is a Hero! This is justice! No, really!"

*eyeroll*

Professor Trelawney has been drinking a lot, which is apparently hillarious. This makes me sad in ways I can't quite describe.

You and me both, then. I fail to see the humour in this complete and utter humiliation of a character. But then again I'm a humourless bitch who doesn't appreciate the depths of the fat jokes and the omgsokewlies French accents, too. So there.

Bellatrix knows Occlumency too. A plot point, I'd wager.

Oooh, yes. Hopefully a nice plot point.

[cleverthylacine]

if this is used as proof that Professor Snape was clearly in love with Harry's mother, I shall eat book seven and declare it better digested that way.

If that's used as proof of Snape/Lily, the book will be no different after you are done digesting it than before.

[ishtar79.livejournal.com]

There's also mistletoe, with girls gathered underneath waiting for Harry. I suspect the other people in the school are curiously unsympathetic. In fact, I find myself curiously unsympathetic.

Oh NOES, Harry, loads of girls want to SEX you? Man, teenage boys just *hate* that. It's so hard being an outcast.

If we found in book seven that someone (please don't say "Snape") had done something like that to a female (*weep*), the whole fandom would explode like a pustulent infection about how such and such Bad Man was "clearly a rapist".

*shudders*
*knocks on wood*

*Harry overhears Draco say "Who suspects me?" People pre-HBP insisted that Draco cared more about Harry than Harry ever would about him. Naturally, they are now insisting that they were misheard, or quoted out of context, or whatever the stupid excuse of the week was round their way.

Ah, Draco haters backtracking. My favorite kind of online entertainment.

Fashionably Late.

[q-spade.livejournal.com]

I'm totally in agreement on not appreciating the Comedy Drunk Routine that Rowling always slips Trelawney into. There is nothing funny about alcoholism, especially in the prescence of kids.

Alcoholism is a fairly big problem in Scotland (http://www.scotland.gov.uk/News/Releases/2005/12/15105006). When one is raised in a cultural environment where heavy drinking is considered quite normal, and anyone who can't keep up with the others or handle his/her booze intake is often considered a figure of fun, it makes sense for that attitude to crop up – however unintentionally – in one's creative endeavors. Such may well be the case with Rowling (but without knowing her personally I couldn't say for sure).

Slughorn likes to come and tell people how brilliant Harry is at Potions. He says only a few have such an ability, that "even Severus" apparently failed to measure up to Harry's sainted mother.

I saw Slughorn's comment as suggesting that "even Severus" was impressed with Lily's abilities, NOT that her skills were superior to his. Remember that Slughorn is aware of Severus next to him, and invites him to join the conversation:

Slughorn: "Some credit must go to you, of course, you taught him for five years!"

Snape: "Funny, I never had the impression that I managed to teach Potter anything at all."

:D

Professor Snape admits to "acting". Still, we don't know if he's saying this to appease Draco or because he means it.

Oh, I think he means it. "It is an act that is crucial to success...Where do you think I would have been all these years, if I had not known how to act?" This statement is BRILLIANT, because it's a play on the word act (acting as thespian talents and acting as making decisive moves) and because even as he lets Draco in on his act, he never mentions who he acts on behalf of.

What a Player! <3 Sign me up for that super-sekrit Snape community, peeps!

...if this is used as proof that Professor Snape was clearly in love with Harry's mother...

Well, how is "love" being defined? What sort of "love" are we talking about here?

I can imagine Severus as a horny teenager, wanting a piece of arse and figuring it would humiliate James if it was Lily's arse he got a piece of. (Looking at how the teenagers interact in HPB, I can totally see Rowling writing that scenario with a straight face!) Perhaps Severus & Lily indulged in game-playing & mindfucking the way Ron and Hermione do, with a bit of opposing-House tension thrown in the mix – since Snape's far smarter than either Ron OR Hermione, such exchanges would at least be delightfully snarky on his end. (Wouldn't it be interesting if Lily "pulled a McLaggen" on Snape with James Potter and found she couldn't get out of it?)