HBP Chapter Thirteen

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

*I sense another plot time-out coming for a Pensieve trip.

*The school is buzzing about Katie, who has been removed to St. Mungo’s. I love that nobody ever seems upset that there’s no actual investigation into this with any updates or anything like that. An unknown assassin targeting students seems unremarkable on the rumor mill. But then remember this is a school where the most popular boy jock is going out with the most popular girl jock is far more interesting than the most popular boy exsanguinating a classmate.

*Wizards are kind of ridiculous fame-whores, really. When Sirius Black was on the loose it was a big deal because he was famous. For all the way it's put down tabloid-reading Petunia totally as the personality of a wizard.

*Ron and Hermione are now feigning deafness whenever Harry brings up his "Malfoy is a Death Eater" theory. You’d pretty much have to be deaf to not see that this theory isn’t all that illogical even from their pov. ETA: Actually, perhaps their problem isn't that they can't believe it but that they know even if he is a Death Eater it's probably not going to matter.

*What’s far more odd is that Ron and Hermione—Hermione especially—have no interest in alternate theories or indeed the case itself. Somebody just tried to kill someone in front of them and it's not worthy of conversation? If only they'd been this blase about whatever Dumbledore was keeping at the school back in the first book the Sorcerer's Stone would still be safe and sound.

*Harry’s indignant that Snape was the one to cure Katie Bell. He probably got his Snape cooties all over her!

*Harry identifies Phineas as Sirius’ great great grandfather—is he Draco’s great great grandfather too? I mention this because I’ll bet when/if this information comes up Harry will be completely shocked by it. ETA: Silly me. As if Phineas's family matters anymore.

*DD assures Harry that Mundungus is now afraid of facing him. Mundungus was allowed to steal whatever the hell he wanted from Grimmauld Place when he was stealing from the Blacks—Phineas is still the only person who cares about that. But this book Dumbledore’s not going to miss a chance to show he’s on Harry’s side. Yeah, he’s all over Mundungus. Sure.

*Dumbledore says he’ll take appropriate measures to investigate who murdered Katie. Not that anyone will hold it against him if they never turn up anything. Katie’s not one of those awful Purebloods whose parents might come to the school demanding answers.

*ETA: Seriously, it's not that his measures are a problem--we know that he knows who did it and is keeping them safe for no reasons of his own. But it's bizarre that nobody ever really cares about this stuff. Bizarre but not OOC since he handled the Goblet incident the same way and nobody cared. Basically he just tells everybody that he's handling it and since he's Dumbledore obviously it's taken care of and they shouldn't worry their heads over it. If he can't find the answer there must either be no answer or Dumbledore has a good reason for not acting on it.

*ETA: It's no wonder this guy has to still show up to tell everyone what to think about stuff even after he's dead.

*Harry feels a bit resentful—color me shocked! If his lessons are so important, why are they so far apart? Gee Harry, you think maybe you’re supposed to be thinking about the last lesson on your own in between?

*Why does Dumbledore even call them lessons, anyway? Aren’t they more like…information sessions? Just drawn out interminably through use of the Pensieve?

*ETA: And useless information sessions as well. Rita Skeeter's implied seduction scenario actually makes more sense as an explanation for what's going on here. All Dumbledore's really doing is bonding with Harry and flattering him before he dies using Voldemort memories. The only practical information he gets is that Horcruxes exist that he'll have to destroy.

*Harry’s indignant at Caractarus Burke cheating Merope for her necklace. You know, the kind of thing that would be clever and cute if it had been Lucius Malfoy selling the necklace to the Twins.

*Dumbledore explains that Merope couldn’t use magic because she either didn’t want to be a witch anymore or her powers were sapped by despair, which can happen to witches in love. I don’t see why we need a rather disappointing subplot with Tonks to prove this, but apparently we do. The guy you’ve been enslaving for months leaves you? The guy you like doesn’t want to marry you? Poof! There go your powers. If you’re a girl.

*Harry is indignant that Merope didn’t save herself for her son. Dumbledore asks if he feels sorry for Lord Voldemort. Haha! That’s funny Albus. Like Harry would care. He’s just judging Merope.

*Dumbledore asks Harry not to judge Merope too harshly, since after all she never had his mother’s courage. Well, jeez, that explains it. I’m amazed she managed to put her clothes on in the morning without the all-important courage. That’s why we need Gryffindor to lead us!

*ETA: A book later Dumbledore's theory of people is still amazingly out of line. Don't blame her, Harry. She just didn't have the guts the people in your family do.

*Younger!Albus has auburn hair, so he must be pretty cool.

*Also he’s dressed in plum velvet and garish taste in clothing is a sign of being a good person. (In the books, that is. Fandom continues to try to hang tacky ruffles on the Malfoys and dress the Weasleys in vintage chic.)

*ETA: Oh jeez, do I even have to say it? I was possibly being too generous in thinking the garish taste was code for fun-loving, good person. Perhaps it was a clever way to say he was something else...

*Mrs. Cole may have seen a lot of horrors running a home for orphans in a poor section of London, but faced with a man in purple she can barely put two words together.

*Tom’s name’s been down for Hogwarts since his birth, so yeah, it’s written by a magic quill. A magic quill that still manages to create a pretty homogeneous student body and a serving class with funny accents.

*ETA: BTW, small point but doesn't that magic quill kind of confuse the whole "Neville didn't know if he'd get into Hogwarts" issue? No way does the quill write down Squibs. If his family was worried they could just ask if he was on the list. It might give them a chance to euthanize him young start alternate education early.

*Mrs. Cole is an inconveniently sharp woman, meaning that she asks a question or two before turning over a pretty boy orphan to a strange man dressed like a pimp.

*So Dumbledore zaps the woman’s brain to make it easier. Gee, that doesn’t disturb me at all. It’s good to know wizards can do stuff like that when they want a child for themselves. ETA: Or a driver's license.

*One wonders why Dumbledore feels the need to also get Mrs. Cole drunk, having already addled her mind. Sadly, I think in his mind he feels like this makes it somehow less manipulative—she chose to get sloshed, she deserved it!

*Mrs. Cole tells how one night Merope Gaunt showed up, gave birth, and died an hour later. Then she had to clear off quick because there was a long line of other destitute Victorian women with secret noble pedigrees waiting to give birth to orphans to star in their own nineteenth century novels.

*This story might be somewhat sad if it wasn’t lightened by Mrs. Cole’s alcoholism. Thank goodness for demon gin!

*Tom was a funny baby. Even as an infant he made bad choices.

*Dumbledore asks if Tom is a bully and Mrs. Cole says yes. Well, you can certainly see why he succeeded at Hogwarts, then.

*ETA: Note that because it's Tom he's just a bully and not just kind of a git at this age but he'll probably grow out of it like James.

*Mrs. Cole also explains that Tom’s showing signs of being a sociopath—luckily again he won’t stand out at Hogwarts.

*Mrs. Cole then wanders into that odd grey area of the HP books where some kind of sexual abuse is suggested by hinting at something dreadful happening when the two little children followed Tom into a cave, but if you bring it up the more hysterical fans would probably tell you you were sick. I admit it does add a nice little frisson to the proceedings!

*There was no trace of the Gaunts in Tom’s face. It’s all in his blood.

*I love Tom’s TELL THE TRUTH! mantra, though I’m not yet sure what it means. One thing I do know is he’ll never get his wish from Dumbledore, who follows the Obi-Wan “from a certain point of view” method of truth-telling.

*ETA: Nope, still not sure why she went with TELL THE TRUTH with Tom. Though part of me can't help but think that it fits because Tom is literally "the truth" that underlies Wizard society. His blatant bigotry and viciousness towards lower orders is just the same as Dumbledore's if Dumbledore would be truthful. Instead they just kill the messenger.

*Dumbledore’s all comforting to Tom telling him that he’s not mad, he’s just a magician. The budding signs of sociopathy will easily be fixed through the ability to perform violent magic, I’m sure.

*Tom looks fevered. Awww, he’s like little Draco the Nutter.

*ETA: ::sigh:: I miss Draco the Nutter. Things that would have made DH better #891: Draco actually goes insane.

*Hee. I kind of love little Tom’s switch from psycho to polite schoolboy. I’m sure we’re supposed to think Dumbledore’s super smart for seeing through this act, though of course a Muggle psychiatrist would probably be a lot better at it.

*Err, in fact the Muggles may have been in general more hip to Tom’s true evil nature had he stayed in that world.

*Okay, so Tom, the budding sociopath who’s already killed animals and attacked children, demands a demonstration of Dumbledore’s magic and Dumbledore obliges by...setting afire a wardrobe? Can anyone explain what the man’s thinking here? A simple levitation spell wouldn’t do, he’s got to tempt him with arson?

*Dumbledore then warns Tom that thieving is not tolerated at Hogwarts under the previous headmaster’s reign. In his own years as headmaster Luna Lovegood’s putting up notices for the return of her stolen possessions in the corridors.

*Luckily I’m sure tormenting other students was considered all in good fun even then, so Tom will still be able to indulge in some of his favorite hobbies.

*In fact, if Tom Riddle and Fred and George had been at school at the same time, we’d probably be reading about Voldewarts and the two houses of Slytheriddle and Weasleydor.

*Dumbledore continues to lecture Tom on the law and order that supposedly governs at Hogwarts, so he won’t be able to torture other students. Erm, so am I to assume it was Dumbledore who introduced the current policy of "Gryffindors have their reasons?"

*Dumbledore tells Tom as a wizard he must abide by their laws. He hasn’t yet told him wizard laws bend like silly putty, if you know the right people.

*There’s a fund at Hogwarts for kids who need to buy robes and things, a fund I suspect was just made up this second since Ron Weasley goes through an entire year with no wand, but whatever.

*Harry thinks Dumbledore will insist on accompanying Tom to Diagon Alley and is surprised when he doesn’t. I’m not sure why Harry’s surprised. When’s Dumbledore ever been particularly responsible about kids?

*Tom somehow knows that being a Parseltongue is the strangest power he has. I guess the knowledge is carried in his blood too.

*Dumbledore points out that Tom Riddle used the word "special" to describe the fact he could do magic, contrasting him to the wonderfully humble Harry who could not believe he was a wizard. Well, we can see which one of these boys belongs in stinking Slytherin! Only villains think they’re above other people. Heroes know they’re above other people and shoulder the responsibility nobly.

*ETA: That's such a consistent way of dealing with Harry, though. The second he shows the slightest hint of an admirable quality it's rewarded far out of proportion and just becomes part of his general superiority complex.

*ETA: Anyway, Harry didn't have trouble believing he was a Wizard because he was humble, he had trouble believing it because nothing good ever happened to him.

*Dumbledore says he intended to keep an eye on Tom, which he would have done anyway, being that Tom was alone and friendless. Either Dumbledore’s stopped keeping watch over the alone and friendless by the present day, or else "keeping watch" means "watching kids be alone and friendless without doing anything to interfere."

*So it’s interesting and ominous that Tom had some control over his powers and used them. You mean like turning a teddy into a spider as a toddler? Or trying to make an Unbreakable Vow? That kind of interesting and ominous control at a young age?

*Dumbledore also reminds Harry of Tom saying he could hurt others if he wanted to…err…so he’s a lot like our band of hero wizards then?

*Dumbledore mentions Parseltongue is an ability associated with the Dark Arts, but as "we" know it also exists amongst the great and good. Oh my god, does he mean Harry? Laying on a little thick even for you, Albus, aren’t you?

*ETA: I'm not surprised that the Dark Arts was never ever explained at all beyond "stuff that's bad when Slytherins do it." Parseltongue is bad because it's associated with snakes and Slytherin. And despite what Dumbledore says about it existing amongst the great and good I believe JKR said that Harry can no longer speak it and is quite relieved at that fact.

*"Time is making fools of us again," says Dumbledore, having another one of his little hiccups of sounding really gay in the fourth grade definition of the word. ETA: And apparently in this universe the fourth grade definition is the only one.

*Tom Riddle also has a magpie-like tendency, so he can’t be all bad. Magpie-like is a lot better than serial-killer like.

*Heh. Wouldn’t it be cool if instead of making horcruxes out of stuff like rings and cups they were made out of, like, body parts of his victims? ETA: Things that would have made DH better #892.

*Again, all this stuff could probably just be told to Harry, perhaps with more focus and explanation. I know Dumbledore’s pretending to "teach" so he wants to be all proud when Harry makes a connection or sees where all this is going, but a straight profiling might be more effective.

*ETA: Also, something of practical use that will come up in the plot to justify the existance of this stuff.





IITS
Setting a wardrobe on fire. Just for dramatics? WTF?

Designated hero
Should I be worried by the fact that magical talent and conduct disorder share so many of the same symptoms?

Informed Attributes
From listening to Dumbledore talk one would almost think he was a responsible headmaster instead of whatever the hell he really is.

Misdirected Answering
Sadly, this is probably my favorite Tom Riddle flashback and yet it still just kind of stops the plot dead without any real payoff. The basic idea seems to be: look, here’s Tom still evil, but smaller. I guess it could come into play in the next book if Harry has to do anything psychological with Tom, but Harry doesn’t seem to have much skill for that sort of thing. All these flashbacks could be told straight out in one sitting.

ETA: Nope, nothing psychological. In fact, this entire chapter remains what it really is: a really good trailer for a movie that doesn't exist.

Final score: 4

I almost went for the James Bond exposition score, but I think a true Villain Exposition speech would have been less tedious.

Slytherin Liquid Count: 2

Yes, we’re back to Slytherin again and that water level rises accordingly! Dumbledore and Harry dip into the pensieve, and Dumbledore gets Mrs. Cole so pickled on gin she’s all but drooling over her desk.

Comments

[kaskait.livejournal.com]

Obviously, it's their own fault since they can't control their own fatty, fat, fat, Mcfat selves.