HBP Chapter Twenty-Nine

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

*"C’mere, Harry…" Oh good lord, have I just stumbled into some sick Hagrid/Harry hurt/comfort??!!

*Harry did not want to leave Dumbledore’s side. Until he realized he couldn’t shut himself away or crack up because Dumbledore wouldn’t want that. Life’s too short.

*How much you want to bet Dumbledore gets far more grief from Harry than Sirius did in Book VII? After all, Sirius seemed to want Harry to live for himself and never demanded total personal loyalty. You snooze you lose, Sirius!

*ETA: You know, even writing that the first time I never would have predicted the amount of "grief" Dumbledore would get. The second he dies, we can't get rid of him.

*ETA: I put "grief" in quotes because I don't know whether Harry's postumously getting all insecure, demanding and judgy really fits the term, but presumably that's what it's supposed to be.

*Harry’s pulled away from the corpse only by Ginny’s glittery, flowery-scented hoo-ha, particularly pungent now that she’s sweating from a battle. Or maybe it’s her Bonne Bell Dr. Pepper flavored lip gloss.

*People are sobbing and wailing all over the place. Based on Ginny’s reaction to Ollivander’s disappearance I’d guess they’re yelling things like, "But who will give our opening speeches each year?"

*Of course most of the student body is just trying to remember what Dumbledore looked like, so little had they to do with him over the years.

*Who else is dead? Don’t worry, none of us says Ginny, which pretty much sums up the Gryffindor credo right there.

*Madam Pomfrey says Bill won’t look the same anymore. Why, of course not! He’ll have those scars every Gryffindor covets!

*ETA: Err...I mean, he will be scarred forever by the horrors of war, that is horrible, and will be described unflinchingly in the next book.

*Ginny says if they’d hadn’t had the FF they would have died, but as it was everything just missed them. Which probably means the FF will never be used again.

*ETA: Called it. What fun is war if you can't pretend the only thing the good guys have to fear is the author considering them expendable and wanting to show us Death iz srs bznss.

*LOL! I had completely forgotten that Harry has one more thought about Sectumsempra here, where he remembers how easily Snape had mended Malfoy’s cuts with his wand. I assume Harry’s being resentful about that and not thinking how Snape really was a useful guy to have around.

*ETA: So as usual Harry's having one of his endless thinks about how death is so completely irreversible, right before we're reminded that in this universe death is pretty damned reversible.

*Ron starts talking about Dumbledore owing somebody something—ooh, better be careful Ron. A little more of that kind of talk and you’ll be branded one of the Slytherfen!

*ETA: How did we not see Ron's terribly suspenseful flirtation with thinking the universe could revolve around something other than Harry cowardice and treason in the next book?

*Lupin’s just hearing Dumbledore’s dead now? What as all the wailing about earlier if it’s not widely known? Oh—probably everyone was upset about those Gryffindor rubies all over the floor.

*ETA: LOL! I really shouldn't blame Lupin here. I didn't realize he was dead in DH for many pages. Harry said he and Tonks looked like they were asleep and I figured they were. Well, okay, I figured Lupin might be feigning sleep so he wouldn't have to have sex with Tonks.

*Harry’s never seen Lupin lose control before, except for that time he turned into a werewolf and almost killed some people. So he assumes Lupin saying "No!" and dropping his face in his hands is losing control for Lupin, I guess. It really is indecent!

*ETA:How pathetic is it to now realize that Lupin is so upset because the good guys' entire battle plan for war relies on Dumbledore telling them what to do and when, so now they can't possibly win?

*ETA:Props to Lupin for having a moment of trying to do something logical in the next book by helping the three kids win the war, before being lectured by the head stupid kid that that kind of thinking is just cowardice.

*I love Ron’s groan when Harry says Malfoy disarmed Dumbledore. It’s just much better than Hermione’s fake hand-to-the-mouth expression of "who could ever have seen that coming?"

*ETA: Perhaps Ron's groaning because he realizes that's the Big Important Twist of the Whole Series and lo, it is lame.

*The phoenix starts to sing. Don’t suppose it might deign to come and cry on Bill at all, will it?

*Nah. Grief for Dumbledore has to be turned into the most beautiful song ever, unlike, you know, the more "realistic" grief Sirius would have wanted.

*ETA: Wah! The closeted control freak is dead! Who will lie and condescend to us and make incredibly stupid plans that shouldn't have any hope of working now?

*ETA: Well, at least he died without anyone finding out he was gay. Because that's totally not part of who he was.

*McGonagall rocks just for coming in and shutting Fawkes off. OMG ESE!McGonagall! Is she wearing green?

*ETA: ::sigh:: I miss ESE!McGonagall.

*The adults in this scene continue to look incredibly dumb, seeming to reveal that yes, all this time they’ve had no idea why they were defending Snape and just trusted Dumbledore like he was Santa.

*ETA: Yes, turns out "Dumbledore is Santa" was pretty much the whole game plan for winning the war. Without him they just have to fall back on plan B: Harry is Jesus.

*In fact, they probably had this exact same reaction when Sirius was revealed as a traitor. And when Peter was revealed as a traitor. If Molly Weasley turned out to be a DE they’d have the same reaction.

*ETA: Again, props to Lupin in DH for trying to interject some kind of interesting war story but suggesting they could have a traitor in their midst. Too bad he was doomed to failure there. What would a traitor even do to mess things up? Undermine the good side's plans by encouraging them to actually do something?

*And of course since they just trusted Dumbledore they’ve no logical way of thinking about something else that might be going on with Snape. Suddenly everybody’s talking about the guy who’s saved their lives in the past like they always thought he was a total DE only they figured Dumbledore had some bit of info that said he wasn’t and he just never saw any reason to share it.

*ETA: Luckily as it turns out Snape being a DE isn't much of a big deal at all next year. Which kind of shows how it was never a big deal before then either. It's not like anybody's all "But if Snape was a traitor that means all our networks and plans are compromised!"

*Harry helpfully puts in his own completely fabricated story about how Dumbledore’s reason for trusting Snape was that he pretended to feel bad about the Prophecy.

*ETA: Again, luckily nobody cares why, how, or what Snape did as a traitor after this book. After the "Huh. Imagine that" reaction there's nothing else to say.

*Now that it suits his purposes to care that Snape called Lily a Mudblood, Harry remembers Snape called Lily a Mudblood. He’s so sensitive to fictional racial injustice!

*Actually, that’s probably brought up to lay the foundation of whatever Snape/Lily story we get in Book VII: I Called My Love a Mudblood… (sung to the tune of I Gave My Love a Cherry…)

*ETA: Oh, man. Called that one!

*Nobody asks Harry how he knew Snape called Lily a Mudblood. Which is an odd little moment because Snape could have called her a Mudblood to Harry. Unless they all know that Snape only called her that that one time. And anyway, Lupin knows about the Pensieve trip.

*Lupin reminds everyone how glad they were that Snape was on the way. While at the same time never really trusting him at all.

*Harry’s all wanting details of Snape’s bad acts to feed his hatred. He can’t wait to start writing his imaginative 18-part History of Snape on Bad Penny, with the Order providing research. ("He didn’t stay for dinner at Grimmauld Place that time!")

*ETA: Actually, Harry does not have the attention span for a fandom grudge. Give him a few weeks and he'll be totally over Snape and checking Dumbledore's ISPs for sock puppetry.

*Let’s take a moment to thank god it’s Harry who was right about the Cabinet and not Hermione, who would die of smug about now.

*Ginny refers to Malfoy’s Hand of Glory as an awful shriveled arm because it’s really repulsive, unlike snot in all its wondrous forms.

*Ron reminds us the arm is called the Hand of Glory and that it is Malfoy’s. He neglects to remind us that last he knew, the arm wasn't Malfoy's at all.

*I’m going to fanwank this bit by saying that after not buying the hand for Draco in CoS Lucius told Draco that he could earn the money for it himself by cutting the grass and doing other chores around the Manor, but only if he got good grades. So Draco worked very hard and got the money, and the hand was always that much more valuable to him because he had earned it. The end.

*ETA: Still like that story.

*Ginny gets to the Peruvian Darkness Powder bit and Ron says he’ll have a talk to Fred and George about who buys their products. Funny he had no comments about the Vanishing Cabinet secret the Twins provided with the Trio’s blessing.

*Btw, I’m sure the Twins will totally take Ron’s talk into consideration and stop selling dangerous products that make them a lot of money.

*ETA: Or even better, the fact that they sell products to Death Eaters won't actually mean anything because once the war starts there will be no need for weapons.

*Ginny says they didn’t dare use any curses in case they hit each other in the dark. Nice of Malfoy not to use any curses on these guys, wasn’t it, since he could see them? I don’t think I’d have been able to resist throwing a bat bogey at Ginny.

*You can tell Ginny’s upset. She forgot to say "counter-curses."

*Draco used up that Darkness Powder pretty fast, didn’t he? More proof the kid doesn’t have a lot of money to throw around, rich or not!

*Snape so protected Flitwick. Go Snape.

*And presumably that was a bit of luck for Hermione that they let Snape go, since she had taken the Luck Potion—unless JKR forgot about that.

*Does anybody else notice that Lupin has said "It’s not your fault" about 12 times? It’s just what he would say, but I love him for it, trying to head off the Gryffindor rending of garments and concentrate on what can be done.

*ETA: God, poor Lupin. The man's trying to think of what can be done to get rid of Voldemort. Give it up now, Lupin, and move to Tahiti.

*Though he’s of course not above sticking in a little "Snape would have killed you if you’d stood in his way. Just take my word for it." Cause Snape was just killing people right and left tonight.

*And the Order was indeed losing to the second-string DEs.

*Ginny says she saw Snape but then had to duck as a hex just missed her and she dropped gracefully to the floor, her red hair flashing like a flame…

*McGonagall says Snape must have known a spell they didn’t. Oh, Minerva. You could probably fill a book with spells Snape knows and you don’t.

*ETA: Also with spells that will be made up on the spot to get Harry out of danger. Wands work on their own for no reason whatsoever? Why not?

*Everyone thought Malfoy was being chased by DEs even though they’d been told he led the DEs in?

*Molly, Arthur and Fleur arrive to see Bill. True to form, everyone acts like Fleur has no business being there. I can’t imagine why she’s snooty to these people.

*Bill’s a unique case—meaning they haven’t yet determined just how cool his condition will be.

*ETA: Like any brave, scarred warrior, Bill will spend the rest of the war snug in his cottage with his wife.

*Ginny’s looking at Fleur with narrowed eyes, both hoping that she rejects Bill now that he’s scarred, and looking forward to judging her for it.

*Boy, it doesn’t get much ruder than that "going to be married" comment right in front of Fleur! Well done, Molly! Are you related to the Longbottoms by any chance?

*And then Molly even helpfully explains to Fleur that of course she didn’t mean Bill would stop loving Fleur. She meant Fleur was a shallow idiot who would dump him because of his looks. Um, Molly? You might want to have stuck with the first story. Fleur was giving you the benefit of the doubt there.

*I do kind of love the way Molly’s incapable of loving truly selflessly, like the way she’s always aware of what she wants everybody to do to make her happy. She’s like Homer Simpson, in a way.

*Molly and Fleur make up while Ginny’s own bitchiness towards Fleur magically disappears just at the moment she might have to be wrong.

*ETA: Awww. I can practically see Fleur in her apron now, bravely doing the dishes for the war effort next year.

*Not to be outdone, Tonks matches Fleur’s Gallic pride with some Black melodrama, throwing herself on Lupin, who gives in because there are a lot of people around providing peer pressure. *Sends Tonks a copy of "The Rules" and "He’s Just Not That Into You"*

*I’m going to assume Tonks did the proposing here.

*ETA: I'm going to assume Tonks did more than that. What a wretched couple.

*Harry figures out the whole Remus/Tonks plot, which actually seems a bit much for Harry to figure out, knowing Harry, but better than having Hermione explain it.

*ETA: Though nobody ever figures out that Remus really doesn't want to be married to her. Seems obvious to me, but then I don't have Harry's amazing power of love.

*You know, I’ve never thought Remus/Sirius was the least bit canon or that Remus wasn’t straight, but Remus has never seemed so gay as he seems in this scene. In a book where love is personified as a chest monster leaping out to devour the beloved, the guy needs a roomful of people to finally agree to go out with the girl throwing herself at him.

*ETA: I stand corrected. Remus will seem incredibly gayer in DH.

*I mean, knowing Remus he’s not going to come out and say that he really likes guys or just doesn’t want it enough to marry her. He would totally go on about his condition and his money. Poor guy. The one time his condition could be helpful and it won’t fly.

*Tonks is going to have to be calling this bunch around a lot every time she wants to have sex with Remus so they can peer pressure him into it.

*ETA: Luckily Harry is happy to oblige. GO BE MARRIED TO THAT GIRL OR ELSE YOU'RE A BIG COWARD!

*ETA: At least Remus got his happy ending with Sirius in the end. No girls in the afterlife except Lily!

*Hagrid appears, slightly less maudlin than he was when his killer spider died.

*Slughorn’s going to represent Slytherin as Head of House. For his first act as HoH all Slytherin boys should come to his office for a special chat. Then he’ll change the password to "Not as good as Gryffindor."

*LOL! Harry thinks Dumbledore’s office will have gone emo on him, and that Dumbledore might be lying there. Yeah, that’s totally where McGonagall would take you to talk, Harry. I’m sure she thinks the Corpse would make you pay attention to her more.

*ETA: Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if she had done that and the two of them had just sat around waiting for the corpse to say something because otherwise how will they know what to do themselves?

*Harry keeps Dumbledore’s spirit alive by refusing to tell anyone about the Horcruxes. Because there’s no way that destroying them would be a job for the crack team of adult Wizards he assembled to defeat Voldemort.

*ETA: Nope, no way at all. If you don't agree with this you ought to stop reading the series right now.

*Would be cool if McGonagall was ESE, though. That theory never quite goes away for me.

*Never stop following Dumbledore’s orders even when he’s dead. And that’s a good thing.

*ETA: It's not like he'll stop giving them after death, after all. ::sigh::

*"Snape!" ejaculated Slughorn. I’d rather not think of how many times Slughorn may have ejaculated with that name, myself.

*Slughorn says he thinks he knows Snape because he taught him. Slughorn who’s never noticed Harry cheating his way through class, who has no interest in anyone beyond what they can give him, and who had a favorite in Tom Riddle. I can see why he’d be shocked this one got past his big fat spider senses.

*Slughorn’s certainly changed his tune about staying away from Hogwarts because it’s dangerous—yeah, only mothers would think Hogwarts was dangerous. Non-Gryffindor Mothers, that is.

*McGonagall says Dumbledore’s murder is more disturbing to her than Slytherin’s Muggleborn-eating monster undetected in the castle. Well, at least she’s got her priorities straight. Perhaps Draco was wrong second year. The attacks weren’t covered up, they just weren’t much important.

*They’ll consult the Board of Governors, who have never mattered whatsoever in the past. But that was when Dumbledore was alive! *sobs*

*Harry announces that if Dumbledore’s going to have a funeral at Hogwarts the students should be there so they can say good-bye. Has Harry really not noticed that most of the students have nothing to do with Dumbledore whatsoever? Well, it doesn’t matter. They should obviously be expected to grieve if Harry says so.

*In fact, it’s a very special funeral. They’re being graded on it. For gym.

*Harry’s just going to leave his cloak on the Astronomy Tower? I wouldn’t.

ETA: Ugh. Just thinking about the cloak makes me think of those stupid Hallows.

*The Fat Lady doesn’t ask for a password now the Dumbledore’s dead. What’s the point in passwords any more? Or living, really.

*Smart!Ron is waiting for Harry in the dorm. Hurray! I love Smart!Ron. And we so rarely get to see him.

*Harry doesn’t care who RAB is, and doubts he’ll ever feel curious again. Why do I feel like I’m having a déjà vu here? Oh yeah, cause this is Harry’s standard emo-reaction to the end of many books: was it only [insert random amount of time] since [something more pleasant] was happening? He didn’t care about [thing he always cares about] now. He never would care about [thing he cares about a lot] again. And then he's fine.

*Unfortunately with the whole school mourning Harry can’t think about how amazing it is that everyone else can be going on living normally while he is tormented. Jerks, ruining Harry's usual mourning metaphors. Now the author will have to grope around for something else to impress us with the utter finality and awesomeness that is death.

*ETA: I wish she'd come up with "with them like a presence" in this book. I'd like to imagine Death in his little Slytherin robes scurrying around with the other students. Of course he'd be Slytherin.

*And the Phoenix leaves since, like all truly good creatures, his loyalty begins and ends with Dumbledore personally.

*ETA: Meanwhile Dumbledore himself will stick around to dominate the next book. Ah, the finality of death. From now on Harry will never be able to talk to Dumbledore again outside of portraits, visions and train stations.





Atomic Grenade
Whatever spells that DE was just throwing around, it destroyed the castle.

Exploitation Filmmakers’ Credo
But Lupin had been told Malfoy let the DEs in, hadn’t he?

Idiot World
What do we do now that the old guy in the beard is dead? How will we know who’s good and who’s bad? I guess we’ll just keep following the orders he gave us when he was alive.

Informed Attributes
Geez, even I’m embarrassed by Lupin’s loss of control. Not to mention the obvious passion between lovers Lupin and Tonks. Get a room you two, will ya?

Misdirected Answering
Finally! The mystery of Tonks’ hair color is solved!

Selling Wood
Everybody’s pushing it in this chapter.

Final score: 6

Slytherin liquid count: Gryffindor rubies like blood on the floor, tears, tears and more tears, with grief turned into a song. Blood for Bill, though he’s treated with ointment, not Potion.