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May. 12th, 2009 07:51 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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deathtocapslockI can't stand it any longer. I need my weekly fix of spork!
I hope no one minds if I start doing it myself. I'm starting with Deathly Hallows and pray God I may make it all the way through. I figure that if I can make through the second chapter, I can make it through anything.
The Dark Lord Ascending
Two men appear out of nowhere into… somewhere! I wonder who they are! Oh, it’s just Snape and someone taller than Snape.
Snape has the best news but Taller-Than-Snape, although eager enough to ask for news is not eager to actually hear it. He would rather refer to the difficulty of obtaining his own news and whether or not “he” will be satisfied by it. I wonder who “he” is! The suspense is killing me!
Incidentally, they are both now marching down a lane with neat hedges on one side and rough brambles on the other. Guess they’re in the country? They each raise their left arm simultaneously in “a kind of salute” and pass through a wrought iron gate as if through smoke. Or else it’s a wrought-smoke gate, made up to look like iron.
Either way the image I get is like a pair of synchronized Nazi cartoon figures. Um, like Boris and Natasha, except they were Soviets.
The image of Boris and Natasha is emphasized to me when the taller one (Yaxley) manages to draw his wand over Snape’s head. Yeesh. Snape is a midget?
The Malfoys have peacocks. White peacocks. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to think about this. I saw a white peacock once and it was beautiful. I imagine it would be even better by moonlight. But I suspect I’m supposed to find it distasteful or tacky.
It takes Yaxley and Snape two pages to walk up the drive to Malfoy Manor. No wonder they’re so late.
Everyone is waiting for them in order to get the meeting started. I wonder what they’re doing while they wait. Playing tiddly-winks? Fidgeting uncomfortably? If this were a fanfic, they’d be busy having an orgy.
The first thing the tardy twosome notice is a slowly revolving upside person suspended over the table. I think it’s a bit odd to notice this person without noticing anything about the person—such as its gender. I think I’d notice right away if it were a man or a woman. Unless it was Pat, that character Julia Sweeney used to play on Saturday Night Live. That would explain, of course, why everyone seems so uncomfortable.
There’s a pale young man, by the way, who keeps glancing uncomfortably up at the figure. I wonder who the hell he is. I mean, if it was Draco Malfoy, the narrator would just come out and say so, right? Unless this is the Snape-filter and he’s already forgotten who Draco is.
Someone chides Yaxley and Snape for being late and a couple paragraphs later we learn that it’s Voldemort. If this is the Snape filter, Snape’s a lot slower on the uptake than I always imagined.
Snape is seated next to Voldemort. Yaxley is down with the other redshirts. At least they’re all at the same table. At the Order of the Phoenix meetings, the seating was probably by House affliation. Which meant that Snape had to sit by himself at a card table.
Snape has brought the super-exciting news that the Order is moving Harry Potter out of 4 Privet Drive on a particular date. Voldemort makes sure to ask if Snape used the source they discussed. Honestly, this news doesn’t sound interesting enough to hold the meeting for. And, now that I know that the “source” is Mundungus Fletcher, I wonder why Voldemort puts any stock in the information at all.
Yaxley, of course, thinks that he has better information, since he got it from the Ministry. Snape notes that the Order doesn’t trust the Ministry. It really seems like the Death Eaters should know all this stuff already. But, we should thank them for getting all the new readers up to speed on plot. “The Ministry is nearly ours,” Yaxley says. Snape adds, “Yes, but Harry Potter doesn’t trust the Ministry, and he’s got his own bodyguard, and he has a long history with Voldemort, and we’re trying to kill him. Got that?”
Oh, and here’s something that confuses me. If Voldemort has Harry’s blood in him, then can’t he get through the blood protection on 4 Privet Drive? Why did they take Harry back there to begin with? Why not just move him into hiding right after the funeral? Why not just have him camp out at Hogwarts with its extra-special wards and 100 willing Elf Slaves?
Reading through this slowly, I see that the Ministry and Order are working somewhat together—in that the Ministry has put some protection on the Burrow (and other safe houses). Apparently, the Death Eaters will need to take over the Ministry before they can break those protections. Nice to know that the Ministry isn’t completely useless.
Yaxley has, with great diffculty, placed an Imperius Curse on Pius Thicknesse, one of the Ministers. I wonder why it was so difficult? Seems like all you have to do is wave your wand and shout “Imperio!”
Is it just me, or does the name “Pius Thicknesse” sound like a pope?
The Ministry can track when Harry Potter Apparates or uses the Floo Network. We know from OotP, that fireplaces can be watched—although, can all fireplaces be watched at the same time? And, is that Apparition tracking done to all wizards or just underage ones? Or just Harry Potter? (Cause you’d think they’d be watching Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley, too, later on.)
Voldemort makes the very convenient statement that he needs to be the one to kill Harry Potter. This shows once again how little logic the wizards have, since, logically speaking, he doesn’t. And, since his wand is handicapped against Harry’s wand, it would be a lot easier to just send someone else to kill Harry. However, Voldemort has these sharks with lasers mounted on their heads that he’s just dying to use, so… we’ll be patient and wait until they can meet up.
Unless Harry gets killed by stepping up a jagged broken teacup in the meantime.
The important business over, Voldemort takes the time to humiliate first Lucius by confiscating his wand, and then Bellatrix by mentioning her niece’s marriage to a werewolf. This is probably in order to engage our sympathies for Lupin and Tonks, now that they are being targeted for death! Unfortunately, I’m too distracted by the weirdness of this elite group of terrorists gossiping about who gets to babysit the werewolf cubs to take the threat seriously.
Next Voldemort draws everyone’s attention to the figure revolving above the table. We finally learn that this is Charity Burbage, Professor of Muggle Studies at Hogwarts. This is probably an attempt on Voldemort’s part to humiliate Snape in some way. Maybe he’s waiting for Snape to ask for Charity to be spared. But Snape isn’t that easy. He’s faced the Marauders, damnit. Next to them, Voldemort’s humiliation skills are nil.
Incidentally, Voldemort asks Draco if he recognizes Burbage, and Draco shakes his head. That would indicate that Draco doesn’t take Muggle Studies. On the other hand, he acts like he recognizes her. As he will in later chapters, Draco walks a fine line between the Draco we love and some random stranger with polyjuice potion and a handful of white-blond hairs.
I can’t help wondering if Charity’s robes were falling down while she was hanging upside-down. Did everyone see her underwear? Let’s hope she wore slacks.
Finally—at some point before DH came out, I predicted that, if Snape were DDM, we’d see him do something evil near the beginning of the book, just to set up the final twist when he turns out to be good later on. I’d be proud of my prophetic ability if it weren’t just plain obvious as a plot ploy.
A short note: I don't grok the Jabootu scores, so instead I thought I'd keep track of Fan Service (where JKR gave shout outs to fan expectations and Fan Slappage (where she killed various theories or ships). Plus, because I'm silly, I'm putting in a missing scene from each chapter as a DVD Extra.
Fan Service:
There is a Mafoy Manor. It even has peacocks on the lawn!
Fan Slappage:
No, Draco didn’t take Muggle Studies. Stop trying to make him interesting!
DVD Extras:
EXT: Night - Malfoy Manor
The wind is whipping through the trees, making them dance in the moonlight. A title card comes up:
SIX WEEKS EARLIER
Two figures appear from out of nowhere and begin striding towards the manor house. One is easily distinguished by his pale, almost white-blond hair. The other is dark, scowling, and holding his injured arm gingerly.
DRACO
You did it! I can’t believe you did it!
Draco touches Snape hesitantly on the shoulder. Snape turns, surprised.
SNAPE
Hurry up. The Dark Lord will be waiting.
DRACO
Mother said you were protecting me. I… I didn’t believe her. Thank—
SNAPE
Don’t thank me. I didn’t do it for you.
DRACO
Then why did you do it?
Snape’s attention is drawn to something over Draco’s shoulder. A look of wistful pain crosses his face. Draco, curious, turns to look.
A DOE AND FAWN are nibbling at the grass in a pool of moon light.
Snape turns away abruptly.
SNAPE
I did it for… never mind. Come on!
He runs up the stairs, two at a time. Draco stares at the deer.
DRACO
You did it for Bambi’s mother?
FADE OUT
I hope no one minds if I start doing it myself. I'm starting with Deathly Hallows and pray God I may make it all the way through. I figure that if I can make through the second chapter, I can make it through anything.
The Dark Lord Ascending
Two men appear out of nowhere into… somewhere! I wonder who they are! Oh, it’s just Snape and someone taller than Snape.
Snape has the best news but Taller-Than-Snape, although eager enough to ask for news is not eager to actually hear it. He would rather refer to the difficulty of obtaining his own news and whether or not “he” will be satisfied by it. I wonder who “he” is! The suspense is killing me!
Incidentally, they are both now marching down a lane with neat hedges on one side and rough brambles on the other. Guess they’re in the country? They each raise their left arm simultaneously in “a kind of salute” and pass through a wrought iron gate as if through smoke. Or else it’s a wrought-smoke gate, made up to look like iron.
Either way the image I get is like a pair of synchronized Nazi cartoon figures. Um, like Boris and Natasha, except they were Soviets.
The image of Boris and Natasha is emphasized to me when the taller one (Yaxley) manages to draw his wand over Snape’s head. Yeesh. Snape is a midget?
The Malfoys have peacocks. White peacocks. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to think about this. I saw a white peacock once and it was beautiful. I imagine it would be even better by moonlight. But I suspect I’m supposed to find it distasteful or tacky.
It takes Yaxley and Snape two pages to walk up the drive to Malfoy Manor. No wonder they’re so late.
Everyone is waiting for them in order to get the meeting started. I wonder what they’re doing while they wait. Playing tiddly-winks? Fidgeting uncomfortably? If this were a fanfic, they’d be busy having an orgy.
The first thing the tardy twosome notice is a slowly revolving upside person suspended over the table. I think it’s a bit odd to notice this person without noticing anything about the person—such as its gender. I think I’d notice right away if it were a man or a woman. Unless it was Pat, that character Julia Sweeney used to play on Saturday Night Live. That would explain, of course, why everyone seems so uncomfortable.
There’s a pale young man, by the way, who keeps glancing uncomfortably up at the figure. I wonder who the hell he is. I mean, if it was Draco Malfoy, the narrator would just come out and say so, right? Unless this is the Snape-filter and he’s already forgotten who Draco is.
Someone chides Yaxley and Snape for being late and a couple paragraphs later we learn that it’s Voldemort. If this is the Snape filter, Snape’s a lot slower on the uptake than I always imagined.
Snape is seated next to Voldemort. Yaxley is down with the other redshirts. At least they’re all at the same table. At the Order of the Phoenix meetings, the seating was probably by House affliation. Which meant that Snape had to sit by himself at a card table.
Snape has brought the super-exciting news that the Order is moving Harry Potter out of 4 Privet Drive on a particular date. Voldemort makes sure to ask if Snape used the source they discussed. Honestly, this news doesn’t sound interesting enough to hold the meeting for. And, now that I know that the “source” is Mundungus Fletcher, I wonder why Voldemort puts any stock in the information at all.
Yaxley, of course, thinks that he has better information, since he got it from the Ministry. Snape notes that the Order doesn’t trust the Ministry. It really seems like the Death Eaters should know all this stuff already. But, we should thank them for getting all the new readers up to speed on plot. “The Ministry is nearly ours,” Yaxley says. Snape adds, “Yes, but Harry Potter doesn’t trust the Ministry, and he’s got his own bodyguard, and he has a long history with Voldemort, and we’re trying to kill him. Got that?”
Oh, and here’s something that confuses me. If Voldemort has Harry’s blood in him, then can’t he get through the blood protection on 4 Privet Drive? Why did they take Harry back there to begin with? Why not just move him into hiding right after the funeral? Why not just have him camp out at Hogwarts with its extra-special wards and 100 willing Elf Slaves?
Reading through this slowly, I see that the Ministry and Order are working somewhat together—in that the Ministry has put some protection on the Burrow (and other safe houses). Apparently, the Death Eaters will need to take over the Ministry before they can break those protections. Nice to know that the Ministry isn’t completely useless.
Yaxley has, with great diffculty, placed an Imperius Curse on Pius Thicknesse, one of the Ministers. I wonder why it was so difficult? Seems like all you have to do is wave your wand and shout “Imperio!”
Is it just me, or does the name “Pius Thicknesse” sound like a pope?
The Ministry can track when Harry Potter Apparates or uses the Floo Network. We know from OotP, that fireplaces can be watched—although, can all fireplaces be watched at the same time? And, is that Apparition tracking done to all wizards or just underage ones? Or just Harry Potter? (Cause you’d think they’d be watching Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley, too, later on.)
Voldemort makes the very convenient statement that he needs to be the one to kill Harry Potter. This shows once again how little logic the wizards have, since, logically speaking, he doesn’t. And, since his wand is handicapped against Harry’s wand, it would be a lot easier to just send someone else to kill Harry. However, Voldemort has these sharks with lasers mounted on their heads that he’s just dying to use, so… we’ll be patient and wait until they can meet up.
Unless Harry gets killed by stepping up a jagged broken teacup in the meantime.
The important business over, Voldemort takes the time to humiliate first Lucius by confiscating his wand, and then Bellatrix by mentioning her niece’s marriage to a werewolf. This is probably in order to engage our sympathies for Lupin and Tonks, now that they are being targeted for death! Unfortunately, I’m too distracted by the weirdness of this elite group of terrorists gossiping about who gets to babysit the werewolf cubs to take the threat seriously.
Next Voldemort draws everyone’s attention to the figure revolving above the table. We finally learn that this is Charity Burbage, Professor of Muggle Studies at Hogwarts. This is probably an attempt on Voldemort’s part to humiliate Snape in some way. Maybe he’s waiting for Snape to ask for Charity to be spared. But Snape isn’t that easy. He’s faced the Marauders, damnit. Next to them, Voldemort’s humiliation skills are nil.
Incidentally, Voldemort asks Draco if he recognizes Burbage, and Draco shakes his head. That would indicate that Draco doesn’t take Muggle Studies. On the other hand, he acts like he recognizes her. As he will in later chapters, Draco walks a fine line between the Draco we love and some random stranger with polyjuice potion and a handful of white-blond hairs.
I can’t help wondering if Charity’s robes were falling down while she was hanging upside-down. Did everyone see her underwear? Let’s hope she wore slacks.
Finally—at some point before DH came out, I predicted that, if Snape were DDM, we’d see him do something evil near the beginning of the book, just to set up the final twist when he turns out to be good later on. I’d be proud of my prophetic ability if it weren’t just plain obvious as a plot ploy.
A short note: I don't grok the Jabootu scores, so instead I thought I'd keep track of Fan Service (where JKR gave shout outs to fan expectations and Fan Slappage (where she killed various theories or ships). Plus, because I'm silly, I'm putting in a missing scene from each chapter as a DVD Extra.
Fan Service:
There is a Mafoy Manor. It even has peacocks on the lawn!
Fan Slappage:
No, Draco didn’t take Muggle Studies. Stop trying to make him interesting!
DVD Extras:
EXT: Night - Malfoy Manor
The wind is whipping through the trees, making them dance in the moonlight. A title card comes up:
SIX WEEKS EARLIER
Two figures appear from out of nowhere and begin striding towards the manor house. One is easily distinguished by his pale, almost white-blond hair. The other is dark, scowling, and holding his injured arm gingerly.
DRACO
You did it! I can’t believe you did it!
Draco touches Snape hesitantly on the shoulder. Snape turns, surprised.
SNAPE
Hurry up. The Dark Lord will be waiting.
DRACO
Mother said you were protecting me. I… I didn’t believe her. Thank—
SNAPE
Don’t thank me. I didn’t do it for you.
DRACO
Then why did you do it?
Snape’s attention is drawn to something over Draco’s shoulder. A look of wistful pain crosses his face. Draco, curious, turns to look.
A DOE AND FAWN are nibbling at the grass in a pool of moon light.
Snape turns away abruptly.
SNAPE
I did it for… never mind. Come on!
He runs up the stairs, two at a time. Draco stares at the deer.
DRACO
You did it for Bambi’s mother?
FADE OUT
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no subject
Date: 2009-05-13 03:29 am (UTC)It's not just you. The name sounds distinctly pope-ish.
Unless this is the Snape-filter and he’s already forgotten who Draco is.
Bet you 2 cents Snape's forgotten everyone except for Lily.
Unless Harry gets killed by stepping up a jagged broken teacup in the meantime.
That would have been far more interesting than canon, and it would have saved us from the Camping Trip of DOOM.
DRACO
You did it for Bambi’s mother?
LOL!
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2009-05-13 03:34 am (UTC)Finally—at some point before DH came out, I predicted that, if Snape were DDM, we’d see him do something evil near the beginning of the book, just to set up the final twist when he turns out to be good later on. I’d be proud of my prophetic ability if it weren’t just plain obvious as a plot ploy.
One of the anti-Snapers on the CoS Forum believes that it's actually Snape who killed Burbage, so perhaps you were right after all. Or maybe the ebol is something that occurs during the escape from Privet Dr?
Anyway, I'm looking forward to more spork. (This way I don't have to re-read DH myself!)
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2009-05-13 04:25 am (UTC)The first thing the tardy twosome notice is a slowly revolving upside person suspended over the table. I think it’s a bit odd to notice this person without noticing anything about the person—such as its gender. I think I’d notice right away if it were a man or a woman. Unless it was Pat, that character Julia Sweeney used to play on Saturday Night Live. That would explain, of course, why everyone seems so uncomfortable.
LOL! Good to know I'm not the only one who wondered if Charity Burbage's underwear was showing.
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
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From:no subject
Date: 2009-05-13 11:56 am (UTC)Haha, yes. Why does everyone assume there's no hierarchy at Order meetings? Death Eaters stand according to rank but somehow the Order is always concieved as a round-table we're-all-equals meeting? I really want more fics where there's a lot of jealousy and power playing among the old Order. :-)
Deleted scene is hilarious, OMG!
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2009-05-13 12:28 pm (UTC)The image of Boris and Natasha is emphasized to me when the taller one (Yaxley) manages to draw his wand over Snape’s head. Yeesh. Snape is a midget?
O.O I never noticed this.
The Malfoys have peacocks. White peacocks. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to think about this. I saw a white peacock once and it was beautiful. I imagine it would be even better by moonlight. But I suspect I’m supposed to find it distasteful or tacky.
Of course it's supposed to be tacky. The Malfoys flaunt their wealth, unlike the humble Weasley twins who immeadiately buy dragon-hide jackets when they get money and get called "Mr Weasley" by their assistant.
Oops, my prejudices may be showing. (Although, when it comes to the Malfoys' wealth, I agree with A.J. Hall's theory that the wealth has largely been eaten by roof repairs.)
There’s a pale young man, by the way, who keeps glancing uncomfortably up at the figure. I wonder who the hell he is.
Truly, JKR, this does not make you sound mysterious.
At the Order of the Phoenix meetings, the seating was probably by House affliation. Which meant that Snape had to sit by himself at a card table.
The Gryffindors commanded the biggest table, and a few token Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs had small kitchen tables.
Voldemort makes sure to ask if Snape used the source they discussed.
Once again JKR tries to be mysterious. Why doesn't Voldemort just ask whether the source was Fletcher?
Voldemort makes the very convenient statement that he needs to be the one to kill Harry Potter. This shows once again how little logic the wizards have, since, logically speaking, he doesn’t.
Especially since he doesn't know the end of the prophecy.
Unfortunately, I’m too distracted by the weirdness of this elite group of terrorists gossiping about who gets to babysit the werewolf cubs to take the threat seriously.
No person is too insignificant for Voldemort! He is an equal opportunity villain.
Incidentally, Voldemort asks Draco if he recognizes Burbage, and Draco shakes his head.
Of course he ought to recognize Burbage. He saw her every day at the teachers' table in the Great Hall at Hogwarts for six years. It's only people like Harry who don't remember the names of for example their schoolmates after years of being in the same class.
DRACO
You did it for Bambi’s mother?
Heeee!
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2009-05-13 02:29 pm (UTC)Oh, DH. So desperately trying to turn an operation about on the level of the Trio trying to smuggle Norbert out of Hogwarts and stretch it into World War II with Jesus.
"You did it for Bambi's mother?" *snerk*
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2009-05-13 02:33 pm (UTC)At the Order of the Phoenix meetings, the seating was probably by House affliation. Which meant that Snape had to sit by himself at a card table.
Heehee, now you mention it - I always pictured Snape to be standing at these meetings - not because he wasn't allowed to sit but because I simply couldn't imagine him to do so.
Very good point concerning Voldemort's blood and the blood protection at Privet drive. But it was never clear how that was supposed to work anyway. Strange muggles could get inside with no problems, e.g. the Masons in CoS. So why not imperius one of them to go amok and kill the spectacled litte boy there?
Why did they take Harry back there to begin with?
I suggest keeping a list for the top idiotic decisions people make in DH, but I agree it might be difficult to decide where to draw the line. This, however, definitly should go on that list: even IF the protection worked somehow, it was for only two (three?, can#t remember)weeks after which
- the protection would be broken anyway
- Harry had to be moved from a place the DE knew about and could sit in front of like a cat at a mousehole, waiting for him to come out.
Meaning, for two weeks of relative safety they traded an infinitly bigger risk at the end of it. Brillance, thy name is OotP.
However, Voldemort has these sharks with lasers mounted on their heads
Mwahaha!!!!! Now I imagine the vegetarian sharks from Finding Nemo as pressured into serving as nuclear submarines alongside the Giant squid....
Incidentally, Voldemort asks Draco if he recognizes Burbage, and Draco shakes his head.
Seconding a second list now with all the blatant lies and IITS flying into the face of fundamental logic. Even if Draco never took Muggle studies he's seen the woman at the High table for six years now. And denies it? Or is voldemort testing his eyesight? In fanfiction this would be Draco desperately needing glasses but refusing to wear them in order to not look like he was emulating the Chosen one. Would explain his Quidditch failures as well...
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2009-05-13 03:49 pm (UTC)Nah. It's some random Muggle dragged in off the street to serve as narrator. He never read any of the earlier parts of this story (they're *children's* books) so it's all new to him.
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2009-05-13 04:07 pm (UTC)The Floo network, yeah, I can believe that. Apparating? Suuuure they can. Must be some super-seekret experimental charm, that. One that only works for a limited time, like, oh, 7 chapters.
The kids seem to have Apparated away from the wedding without incident. If they hadn't been yammering about Voldemort they'd have got clean away.
And then Lupin shows up in Chapter 11 and tells us that you can only "track" someone Apparating by grabbing hold of them. Never mind, that was just to telegraph that in another chapter or three someone would do that, too.
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2009-05-13 04:40 pm (UTC)YAY! With service/slaps and extras!
The image of Boris and Natasha is emphasized to me when the taller one (Yaxley) manages to draw his wand over Snape’s head. Yeesh. Snape is a midget?
Or Yaxley is excessively tall, just like Sirius Black (and picking on someone smaller fits a bully's M.O.). I think Short Snape is fan slappage, though. You thought he was tall, elegant and narrow? Draw your wand over his head, Yaxley.
Everyone is waiting for them in order to get the meeting started. I wonder what they’re doing while they wait. Playing tiddly-winks? Fidgeting uncomfortably? If this were a fanfic, they’d be busy having an orgy.
Voldemort plays a version of "The Appentice" (Death Eater Apprentice!) while he waits and fumes that nobody respects his time, or expounds on how great he is.
Unless this is the Snape-filter and he’s already forgotten who Draco is.
Snape has to be so cool he's frozen into Vulcan-like lack of emotion. Occlumency is really just channeling Spock's impassivity. Legilimency is really just the Vulcan mind meld. Eh. (Don't know why I am thinking of Star Trek.) But... Draco falls under "those he could save" for Snape, and after that, he really is irrelevant.
At the Order of the Phoenix meetings, the seating was probably by House affliation. Which meant that Snape had to sit by himself at a card table.
Had Snape ever stayed for dinner, I'm sure he would have shared a table with Tonks, the lone Hufflepuff. Depending on how you see Tonks/Snape, this could be a good thing or the worst thing possible.
I'm pretty sure Mundungus was a Slytherin, though. This was why the others were so upset with Sirius Black, who was always drunk enough to invite a Slytherin to the Gryffindor table.
Voldemort makes sure to ask if Snape used the source they discussed.
And then Voldemort Legilimises Snape, right? That's what I didn't get. Why use Legilimency over such banal information? Just to show how Snape is able to fool Voldemort with
ACTING!Occlumency (and cool Vulcan impassivity)? Voldemort is such an unimpressive little tin-pot villain.Voldemort makes the very convenient statement that he needs to be the one to kill Harry Potter. This shows once again how little logic the wizards have, since, logically speaking, he doesn’t.
Lack of logical thinking (common sense) is the ultimate deus ex machina in the books for me. "Stupid wizards" excuses every eye-rolling inconsistency. It was the hallmark of the book's hero, too. I wish Snape could have been the Scott Evil of the story, at least. Or maybe he was?
Next Voldemort draws everyone’s attention to the figure revolving above the table. We finally learn that this is Charity Burbage, Professor of Muggle Studies at Hogwarts. This is probably an attempt on Voldemort’s part to humiliate Snape in some way.
Yeah, this is JKR's attempt to not only misdirect about Snape's loyalties, but to show him as fundamentally corrupt. You know hero Harry would jump up and try to save Charity Burbage. Snape is far too narrowly-focused, selfish and cowardly to save her... or too cowed, as it turns out.
You did it for Bambi’s mother?
Narcissa!
(no subject)
From:Part One
Date: 2009-05-13 09:58 pm (UTC)JKR immediately throws herself into her sensationally unsubtle Nazi metaphors. That said, I believe the Nazis used their right arm – all the better, that makes this totally different! I’d have thought showing the inside of the left arm, while keeping it down (and showing your t Dark Mark) would be a better way of showing you belonged to the club. DH is full of things whose inspiration is rather too obvious. Fair enough in a rip roaring read, but 90% of this wasn’t.
‘Why did they take Harry back there to begin with? Why not just move him into hiding right after the funeral? Why not just have him camp out at Hogwarts with its extra-special wards and 100 willing Elf Slaves?’
YES! WORD! OH MY GOD, WORD!!! I don’t even care about the Voldemort/Harry blood link anymore. Why didn’t he just go back to the Burrow straight away if the recently breached Hogwarts, without Dumbles was too risky? He always spent the second half of the summer there anyway. If he no longer called Privet Drive home, Voldemort could have attacked it, killed the Dursleys, leaving Harry to take the blame. This would make him a fugitive from justice in the Muggle World and cut out the need of all that Seven Potters nonsense! Sadly, as with Neville the Valiant, the vigilante Dumbledore's Army and the no doubt fascinating Hogwarts regime under Snape, we’d never have seen any of it any way, so why bother? Forget I spoke.
Apparition Tracking was a lot of nonsense JKR came up with specifically so that the Seven Potters chapter made sense. She failed and it didn’t. I’m fine with the Floo system, which I presume the Ministry maintains, and also Portkeys being traceable. Apparition - No. Harry from Privet Drive is fine, because of the whole underage thing, but they shouldn’t be able to trace each Wizard individually, otherwise catching Voldemort and the Death Eaters would be a doddle surely? If it’s only underage, why not side-along apparition? In fact, while the Order were coming up with their plan that Scooby and Scrappy Doo would turn their noses up at, Harry should have called Dobby, who could apparate them out to a neutral location. The DEs might be able to find that place, but after that, surely any further movements (done without a wand, remember) would have been impossible to trace? The Trio should have involved the only free House Elf more – made his fate more poignant.
Re: Part One
From:Re: Part One
From:Re: Part One
From:Part Two
Date: 2009-05-13 09:58 pm (UTC)The bitter word – I agree that Harry would have leapt in to save Charity - inevitably leading to her death, and that of several other innocents (but not HIS death, oh no). I’ve just seen the new Star Trek film, and it’s interesting to compare Snape to the determinedly controlled and brilliant Spock and Harry to the gung-ho, spontaneous Kirk. It’s interesting, but wrong. Spock/Snape always being cool with the occasional outbursts of emotion is fair enough. However Kirk acting the rebel usually has a happy ending due to his innate brilliance and suitability to lead. Harry’s lack of judgement leads to the death of his godfather, the first free House Elf in centuries and the brutal torture of a best friend. Ron must have been relieved that the war ended when it did. Harry Potter – what an inspiration!
** Bambi’s mother – mwah! Plus it’s a shame Snape didn’t ask Voldemort to just stun Lily. Voldemort would have been fine with that as he’d have granted Snape’s wish with no trouble to himself. Lily and her ancient magic would have been neutralized, Harry would have been toast, and Snape would have his prize. Still, we all have our off days.
Re: Part Two
From:Re: Part Two
From:Re: Part Two
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Date: 2009-05-14 01:54 am (UTC)Yay! Thanks for taking one for the team! :D
The Malfoys have peacocks. White peacocks. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to think about this. I saw a white peacock once and it was beautiful. I imagine it would be even better by moonlight. But I suspect I’m supposed to find it distasteful or tacky.
Oh, the peacocks! I was so excited about the peacocks. "Insight into the Malfoys! I'm sure there will be more to come!" was my poor, misled thinking. (I was also excited by the insight that Snape is short. *sigh*)
Next Voldemort draws everyone’s attention to the figure revolving above the table. We finally learn that this is Charity Burbage, Professor of Muggle Studies at Hogwarts.
I think this was my first "needle scratching across the record" moment. Who? Of the many, many characters JKR could have had hanging over that table, she goes with someone I've never heard of before? Why did she even play this like a mystery?
DRACO
You did it for Bambi’s mother?
Hee! If only it were so. I'd have respected this motivation more. (Bambi's mother was awesome.)
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Date: 2009-05-14 07:03 am (UTC)the taller one (Yaxley) manages to draw his wand over Snape’s head. Yeesh. Snape is a midget?
Well, unlike a whole spate of other people he is never described as "tall", and Sirius too is specifically shown taller than him (although if Sirius were, say, 6'5" that wouldn't be saying much), so I've usually pictured him as being slightly short for a man, about 5'9". (I'm not sure where fanon's tall!Snape comes from, actually, unless Alan Rickman.) So not a midget, no, although this would make Yaxley need to be rather tall to execute this move.
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Date: 2009-05-15 05:50 pm (UTC)***JKR logic. The DE:s are hunting Muggles, so they capture the Muggle Studies teacher. But that readers doesn't care much for a person not even mentioned before eludes our dear author who probably thinks The Nasty Deed is enough.
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Date: 2009-11-02 02:01 am (UTC)(no subject)
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