Deathly Hallows Chapter 3

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

The Dursleys Depart

There’s just one word for this chapter. Awkward.

For one thing, Harry and the Dursleys actually have to converse. This is not something we’re used to, nor are they.

I think the main reason we even have this chapter is exposition for those who never read the first six books—or have forgotten the main storyline. I’m clued into this when Harry reminds us about seeing Dumbledore’s eye in the mirror the chapter before. Just in case we forgot that in the time it took to turn the page.

Vernon can’t make up his mind whether or not to accept the Order’s offer of protection. I can’t say I blame Vernon for being suspicious. Every encounter he’s had with wizards has involved them doing something nasty to him, his house, or his family.

Harry is torn between exasperation and amusement at Vernon’s dilemma. Those Muggles. So amusing when they are forced into relocation camps! Still, this is probably the most positive Harry’s ever been about his Muggle relatives. Even if Vernon’s eyes are still piggy and small and Aunt Petunia’s voice is shrill and squealing.

Harry’s favorite moment is when Vernon hurts his back trying to lift an unexpectedly heavy suitcase. Those Muggles! They are so amusing when they injure themselves!

There are plenty of timeline clues in this chapter and the one before. It’s four days before Harry’s birthday. Vernon has been changing his mind for the past four weeks, after Kingsley Shacklebolt and Arthur Weasley visited “a few days” after Harry arrived. This puts Dumbledore’s funeral about five weeks before July 31st. Shout out to timeline fans!

I’m still really curious why Harry bothered to come back to the Dursleys’ at all. I know Dumbledore asked them to let him, but I don’t see why that means he had to. Wouldn’t it have been simpler to move him to a safe house directly from Hogwarts? With all the people leaving the funeral, no one would have been able to track him if he portkeyed or side-Apparated.

The only thing I can think is that it took all this time to set up the protective wards. Which doesn’t make sense to me since it later takes Hermione about two minutes to do that sort of thing.

Also, I don’t really buy that Voldemort would go after the Dursleys. If he spent any time in Harry’s head (as he did in OotP), he’d know that Harry hates his relatives. Tom hated his relatives, too, so it’s something he could really understand. Plus, they’re Muggles. No one ever tells Muggles anything.

Harry tells Vernon that Voldemort tortured and killed Harry’s parents. Harry’s projecting a little here. Voldemort didn’t’ torture his parents. He only killed them. It’s a small distinction, I know.

Luckily, Dudley ends the argument by taking the offer for protection. Relieved, Harry goes back upstairs to remind us that Hedwig exists. She ignores him, reminding us that she hates Harry (it’s in the book!).

Now I’m wondering why Harry didn’t just let her go with Ron after the funeral—or send her to Ron at any time in the past five weeks. Surely that would be better than keeping her in a cage so she can stare at him resentfully?

Daedelus Diggle greets the Dursleys as “Harry Potter’s relatives.” Harry suspects that the Dursleys find this greeting annoying. I don’t blame them. Who would want to be addressed like that? “Hello, I’d like to introduce you to the new Secretary of State, Bill’s wife!” Yet again, the Dursleys are ridiculed for acting like normal human beings.

Daeleus Diggle tells us that they can’t use magic because the Ministry might think it was Harry doing it and arrest him. Just keep that in the back of your mind. It might come in handy later on when we take a look at the “Trace.” Then again, with this book, it might be utterly meaningless.

Vernon reacts with alarm when he learns that Daedelus can’t drive. Those Muggles! So amusing with their expectations of conventional skill sets!

Then we have a long and very awkward passage where Dudley must first realize (this takes a few paragraphs) that Harry isn’t coming with them, and then have Hestia realize that the Dursleys don’t realize that Harry is the Chosen One and then have Harry use the phrase “waste of space” so that Dudley can refute that. Man! That took forever, but we finally have the pay-off for Harry saving Dudley’s life back in OotP.

No pun intended, but this is one dud of a payoff. I guess it’s asking too much for something more, but “you’re not a waste of space” is more hmmm than ha! It’s like we just wandered into an episode of The Office. Maybe that’s it. JKR is channeling Ricky Gervais in this chapter.

I’m wondering… is Dudley actually mentally challenged? If so, that’s a pretty tricky twist by JKR. You know, she charmed us into laughing at Dudley for six books, only to reveal in the last one that Dudley is seriously handicapped and Harry just never realized it. That’s rather sad and touching now that I think about it.

It would also help explain why Petunia overreacts so whenever Dudley does anything at all.

The chapter ends with an odd moment between Petunia and Harry—a hint that maybe she’ll miss Harry? That she does feel something for him? Or that she wants to clear up that misunderstanding about who the “awful boy” was? We’ll never know, because she walks out the door and that’s the last we’ll ever see of the Dursleys.

Fan Service:
Dursleys go into hiding! Imagine the hijinks and hilarity to follow!
Dudley finally thanks Harry for saving his life two years later.

Fan Slappage:
The Dursleys are not eaten by dragons for abusing Harry all these years.

DVD Extras:
INT. DAY – THE DURSLEYS’ CAR

The DURSLEYS, HESTIA, and DAEDELUS are all scrunched into the rear seat of the car. Behind them, bluescreen footage shows a seaside road that they are currently driving on. CHEERFUL, BOUNCY MUSIC plays. Vernon, brow furrowed, glances from Daedelus to the driver of the car—a grey tabby cat.

VERNON
Explain to me again why a cat is driving the car?

DAEDELUS
That is Professor McGonagall. She kindly volunteered to chauffeur.

VERNON
But she’s a cat!

HESTIA
Actually, she’s an animagus—

VERNON
I don’t care if she’s an Anabaptist! I don’t want a cat driving my car!

DUDLEY
(pointing) Ha ha. Kitty!

PETUNIA
Perhaps we shouldn’t complain, Vernon. She’s doing very well.

VERNON
But she’s a cat!

PETUNIA
I know, but you’re making her nervous.

VERNON
How can you tell?

PETUNIA
Her tail is twitching.

The car suddenly starts swerving.

HESTIA
Professor! Keep your eyes on the roooooooooaaaaaa---

EXT. DAY –WHITE CLIFFS OF DOVER

As the passengers SCREAM, the car drives off the road and over the cliff. It falls down onto the beach and bursts into flames.

The music swells as a chorus brightly sings:

CHORUS
MCGONAGALL, THE DRIVING CAT!

Comments

[sunnyskywalker]

Wizards just don't know what to do with suspicious deaths, do they? Or even suspicious disappearances - sorry, Bertha Jorkins, sorry, Ludo Who? Bagman. (Did the goblins hunt him down? Was he a DE trying to flee, like Karkaroff? Who the hell knows?) And then there was that little incident once where a student almost got eaten by a werewolf, and that other time a student got killed by an unknown monster in the bathroom, and the time the Chosen One nearly exsanguinated his Quidditch rival in the bathroom... but of course, near-death experiences are just a normal day at Hogwarts. Toughens them up.

Muggles, on the other hand, at least try, even if they can't solve the case because they don't know about killing curses. The Riddles probably got a better investigation after their deaths than anyone else in the series.

ETA: Wait, I take that back. Dumbledore did think to ask what happened to Crouch Sr., so at least one death in the ww got solved. Although since Veritaserum testimony isn't necessarily reliable, maybe it doesn't count as far as the courts are concerned. At least this Tuesday.