Deathly Hallows Chapter 5

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

The Fallen Warrior

Previously on Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: After an exciting chase through the skies of Little Whinging, Harry has just crash-landed into a muddy pond. Oddly enough, he is not dead.

Neither is Hagrid, but I’m going to attribute that to the Death Eater cushioning his landing.

Although not dead, Harry is injured and faints. He wakes up in the Tonks home, having been healed by Ted Tonks, who is described as short and stout. Andromeda Tonks is close enough to Bellatrix (once described as regal, which probably means tall and haughty), that Harry mistakes her for her sister. In other words, they are the quintessential Disney cartoon parents.

Ted is alarmed to hear about Death Eaters ruining their clever plan, but focuses on the positive news that the protection charms are holding. One thing I wonder about those protection charms. How did they know to let Harry in while keeping Voldemort out?

Hagrid comes in, knocking over furniture and an aspidistra. I looked up aspidistra when reading Orwell’s novel Keep the Aspidistra Flying. It’s a spiky-looking houseplant that apparently everyone in Britain grew at one time or another. It was also played for laughs in Busman’s Honeymoon, which is the last Peter Wimsey novel that Dorothy L. Sayers finished. I’m guessing the aspidistra pegs Ted and Andromeda as middle- or lower middle-class.

So, Andromeda married down. But it’s okay, because she married for love. Indeed, how would we know that she married for love unless she had married down?

Andromeda comes into the room, following Hagrid. Harry mistakes her for Bellatrix, shouts, and reaches for his wand, pissing Andromeda off. I find this moment rather odd and confusing—which is not to say that it’s badly written or anything. I’m just not sure what to make of it. Is it foreshadowing Harry’s growing realization that people aren’t always what they look like? Is it to clue us in that Harry is super freaked out by that Death Eater chase? I don’t know.

Rather than feel bad for almost attacking his benefactress, Harry focuses on feeling bad because he can’t tell Tonks’ parents that their daughter is safe. Way to displace, Harry!

Ted then calls Andromeda “Dromeda.” Maybe she fell in love with because she had been called Andie all her life and hated it. I can’t think of any other reason to fall in love with a guy who calls you something that makes you sound like a camel. (Although, the haughty demeanor she and Bellatrix share? Maybe they actually look camels?)

Harry asks about the Portkey. He really can’t wait to get out of this safehouse. I suppose that’s the mark of a true hero—feeling awkward and ashamed when people help him out.

Harry hears screaming as he arrives at the Weasley home. Is his arrival that dramatic, or is this just another Saturday night brawl between Ginny and Molly?

True to his character, Hagrid immediately asks for alcohol.

Ginny shows Harry that two Portkeys (Ron and Tonks and Fred and Arthur’s) arrived without their designated transportees. Reading this now, I see that JKR is building up suspense. Here’s my shameful confession: I’m not much of one for chase scenes or “action” in a book. I tore through these chapters on the first reading, so this was all wasted on me. I figured, if someone ended up dead, they ended up dead. And I couldn’t care less about worrying about them when I knew I just had to read through another twenty pages to find out. So the suspense? Wasted on me.

Lupin and George arrive on schedule. George is bleeding, and fainting in Lupin’s arms. No screaming from Molly this time, though. The missing ear elicits only a gasp from Ginny. Harry’s safe. That’s the important thing.

By the way, shall we pause to tote up the injury scoreboard?

Stuff Done to Good Guys:
Severed ear: Very serious, caused by Dark Magic. Can never be fixed! Mauled face: Very severe. Caused by Dark Magic. May have lifelong consequences! (Or… not.) Poisoning: Life threatening. Requires week-long stay in hospital. Attack by brains: Somewhat serious. Leaves scars. Seems to make victim stupider than before. Unvocalized spell: Very serious. Leaves victim unconscious with internal bleeding that requires half a dozen potions taken daily. Attack by baslisk: Life threatening. Requires immediate application of phoenix tears. De-boning of arm: Very serious. Requires painful night of suffering regrowing bones. Burn by Dragon: Very serious. Requires week-long stay in hospital.

Stuff done to Malfoy:
Evisceration: Very serious. Requires immediately application of countercurse. But shouldn’t leave scars if treated with dittany. De-boning of entire body into slug-like mass: Good joke. Difficulty of recovery unknown, but assumed to be trivial. Cursed into tentacle-covered face: Good joke. Difficulty of recovery unknown, but assumed to be trivial. Transfiguration into ferret and subsequent bouncing off stone floor: Due punishment for pointing a wand. No affect beyond humiliation. Attack by Hippogriff: Trivial injury by razor-sharp claws. Only a baby would find that painful.

Back to our story:

As Lupin drags Harry into the kitchen for questioning, we have the four-hundredth mention in the last two chapters of Hagrid trying to squeeze through a door or sitting on a piece of furniture and breaking it. And we thought Hagrid couldn’t possibly get more tiresome in this book.

Lupin demands to know what creature was sitting in his office when he talked to Harry in PoA. This is actually a pretty good identifying question. Kudos to Lupin.

Lupin mentions that polyjuice potion wouldn’t work with Hagrid because it’s “for human use only.” I guess that means Lupin isn’t polyjuiced, either? Regardless, this is a piece of information that will go nowhere.

We then get the argument between Lupin and Harry about using deadly force against the Death Eaters. Harry is opposed to simply mowing down others. Now, is this the same Harry who talked about taking out as many Death Eaters as possible back in HBP? (For which he earned that approving little nod from Dumbledore?) Of course, as I noted in the last chapter, Harry has already “taken out” several Death Eaters. So, I don’t think it’s killing that Harry’s objecting to, it’s killing Stan Shunpike.

I wonder if anyone has written Stan/Harry slash. (Starry? Sharry? Han Punpike?)

Hehe. Harry confirms my death count, as he mentions that they were hundreds of feet up in the air, and, had Stan been stunned, he would have died from the fall. So, yeah, unless the Death Eaters had an invisible team of flyers specifically tasked with catching falling bodies, those Death Eaters stunned by Harry are dead.

But, let’s not worry about that because the important thing is that Lupin is acting like Zacharias Smith by questioning Harry’s choice of spell. And thus Lupin’s pedestal begins to crumble.

Lupin says it was using Expelliarmus that got Harry pegged by Voldemort. I have an idea. Why didn’t they tell all the other Harries to use that spell exclusively? That would have really confused the bad guys.

Kinglsey and Hermione arrive by Portkey. Kingsley immediately questions Lupin’s identity, although Lupin doesn’t question Kingsley’s. Nor do either of them question Hermione. Perhaps because she took polyjuice and you can’t double-dose it?

Incidentally, both George and Hermione were un-Harryfied on their arrival. So, I guess it’s been more than an hour since they left the Dursley house.

Between them, Kingsley and Lupin lay out the mystery: Someone betrayed the Order by leaking their plans to Voldemort. However, that person was not aware that there would be seven Harry Potters zooming around. That narrows down the suspects to, um, Harry, I guess, since everyone else knew the whole plan.

Kingsley mentions that Voldemort followed them for a little while before veering off. He thinks that must have been when Harry used Expelliarmus. My theory is that Hermione was reading while they were been chased through the sky, and Voldemort realized that Harry would never read if he didn’t have to.

Lupin mentions Snape and Harry starts shouting. It’s too bad Snape wasn’t following Harry. It would have been fun to see Snape pwn Harry again.

Lupin says it was hard keeping George on the broom after George was injured. I’m having a hard time visualizing this. Were they on the same broom? So, George was behind Lupin? I’m amazed Lupin could keep him on at all if that’s the case. Did he hold onto George with his feet?

Harry thanks God that George is still alive, marking only the second time in the series that any sort of deity or religion has been alluded to.

Harry briefly thinks about hugging Ginny, but it restrained by the presence of Molly Weasley. You know, Harry, I think you could get away with a hug at this moment.

This romantic interlude is interrupted by Arthur and Fred’s arrival. More shouting. More crashing. More stupid identifying questions. All this equals suspense and drama!

Harry and Ginny then go outside to wait for the missing three teams. The hug is downgraded into holding hands. Honestly, Harry, you could snog her silly and nobody would notice it tonight if that’s what’s holding you back.

Finally, after minutes that “stretch into years,” Tonks arrives and lands her broom in a long skid. Yep. Still a showboater.

We don’t hear about Ron landing. Just about him tripping.

Hermione expresses surprise that Ron managed to stun a Death Eater. I’m sure she’d not be surprised to learn that Harry did a bit better than that.

Ron grumpily pushes away from Hermione’s surprise. Good thing. Otherwise they might kiss or something and ruin the surprise later.

Meanwhile, Lupin sounds “almost angry” when he asks Tonks why she took so long. Okay, this is one of those moments that makes Harry seem like a social idiot. Gee, people get angry when they are frightened about people they love? Fascinating, observes Mr. Spock from his perch on Harry’s shoulder.

Tonks was late because Bellatrix was trying hard to kill her. Ohhhhh, I see. This goes back to that first chapter, when Voldemort was telling Bellatrix to kill Tonks. I get it. Its that gripping will Bellatrix kill Tonks? subplot! Clever, JKR. I didn’t see you juggling that plot-ball at all!

All this time, the continued absence of the others lies on them like a frost, its icy bite harder and harder to ignore. In the movie, they’ll have those little breath clouds like in Titanic. Even though this is July.

Bill and Fleur arrive by Thestral with the dramatic news that Mad-Eye Moody is dead. This is tragic and shocking to the characters, who didn’t have the advantage of reading the title of this chapter. As a reader, I’m pretty glad it wasn’t anyone else. I never felt like I knew Moody, since the character we met in GoF was an imposter.

By the way, Harry knows that Tonks had been Moody’s protégé at the Ministry. Hmm. I thought he had retired before she became an auror and I find it a little odd that Harry knows this at all—at least, it was never mentioned before. But, hey, way to make it all about Tonks!

Bill pours out glasses and Firewhiskey and sends them zooming into everyone’s hands so that they can drink a toast to Moody. If it had been Dumbledore, he would have sent them zooming to knock people on their heads.

The discussion turns as to whether or not Mundungus might have betrayed them. Bill dispels that idea by noting that Mundungus came up with the seven Potters idea, which was the part of the plan Voldemort didn’t know. Of course, that’s what a clever spy would do…..

Incidentally, neither Bill nor Fleur got asked the identifying questions. Because Bill’s a semi-werewolf now? (Werewolf lite? Werewolf-positive?) And Fleur is one-quarter Veela. Hey… wait a minit… I guess she’s human enough for polyjuice?

Fleur points out that someone let it slip that they were moving Harry on this night. Everyone else tries not to look at Hagrid. Harry, remembering that Hagrid has let slip a good dozen important secrets, declares the matter moot. He trusts everyone in the Order.

By “trust,” he means that he’ll be sure not to let them know a single thing about what he’s up to for the next year.

Lupin tells Harry that he reminds him of James, causing Harry to feel rage towards Lupin for the third or fourth time that night. This strikes me as a bit ironic, considering how Harry wanted to identify with James in PoA. Is this a change in Harry’s character, then? Maybe those detentions with Snape last year did have an affect after all.

And what is with the Lupin-hate in this chapter? Is Harry simply placing all his anger on Lupin as the most prominent member of the Order? Is he mad at Lupin for surviving when Sirius and Dumbledore didn’t? Or is it that he didn’t get invited to Lupin’s wedding?

Harry’s scar starts prickling for the first time in a year. Apparently, Voldemort has decided to drop the Occlumency.

I think it’s this that makes Harry want to leave the Weasleys. He’s not being as much of an idiot as he seems. If Voldemort were to posses him, or were able to see Harry’s visions as he see Voldemort’s, then this does endanger the Weasleys.

However, not knowing this, everyone basically tells Harry that he’s being absurdly stupid. And, since Lupin is no longer around, Harry takes out his anger on everyone else.

Harry’s image as a sane person is not helped when he mentions that his wand shot a spell at Voldemort of its own accord. I wonder why, if the wand was going to develop a mind of its own towards Voldemort, it didn’t start shooting at him in the MoM in OotP.

Outside, Harry has the first of his DH Voldemort visions, as Voldemort berates Ollivander for bad wand advice. Ollivander has no idea why Harry’s wand is acting up like that. It’s really a pity the wand didn’t do it in OotP, since I’m sure Dumbledore would have known, right? I mean, of course he knows more about wands than Ollivander, the man who’s running a family wand business that started over a thousand years ago.

It might have been nice for Ollivander to mention the Elder Wand during this torture session. I think it would have helped us follow the wand subplot if we’d known from the beginning what Voldemort was looking for.

Ron and Hermione appear to comfort Harry in their unique ways. Ron thumps him on the back and Hermione whispers nervously.

On hearing that Voldemort has reconnected to Harry’s mind, Hermione cries out, “Harry, he’s taking over the Ministry and the newspapers, and half the Wizarding world! Don’t let him inside your head too!” Which just cracks me up because it’s so melodramatic.

Fan Service:
Tonks and Moody had a protégé/mentor relationship.
Harry’s special scar of emo makes a comeback!

Fan Slappage:
Lupin/Harry slash is looking more and more out of the question. Unless it’s hate sex.
The opportunities for Tonks to use her extra-special metamorphmagus abilities are slipping away…

DVD Extras:

EXT. Night. Sky over the English Country Side

A broom carrying ALISTAIR MOODY and MUNDUNGUS FLETCHER (polyjuiced as Harry) streaks through the air, followed closely by four hooded Death Eaters on brooms.

FLETCHER
Bloody ‘ell, Gov! They’re right behin’ us!

MOODY
Stop waving around!

FLETCHER
I didn’ sign up fer this!

With a CRACK, Fletcher disapparates, leaving Moody exposed to a green jet that flashes from one of the Death Eaters’ wands. The jet connects to Moody, who falls off the broom, a look of surprise on his dead face.

Moody’s body falls, almost in slow motion. Suddenly, it crashes into a tree limb. The force of the impact pops Moody’s magical eye right out of his head. The ball-like eye spin in place for a moment before falling….

Straight into the mouth of a passing phoenix. The phoenix looks extremely surprised as a round lump stick in his throat. Still gliding through the air, he coughs, shooting the eye straight into the air…..

The eye falls onto a large, square rock monolith. It bounces up and onto a second monolith. As we pull back, we see that the eye is bouncing from rock to rock on the famous Stonehenge monument. After making a full circle around the rocks, it bounces off the circle and begins bouncing along a road….

Reaching a hillside, it picks up speed, bouncing down over rocks and boulders. It bounces higher and higher. As it bounces from one boulder to another, a fox passes underneath at a full run. The fox is followed by a pack of baying hounds, and a group of hunters on horses.

The eye bounces neatly into upturned mouth of a hunting horn worn by one of the hunters. As the horse gallops and jumps over fences, the eye bounces and rolls around the mouth of the horn.

From above, we see that the fox, hounds, and horses are approaching a large crop circle in a wheat field. With a rush, the horses leap into the circle, nearly crushing a small alien spaceship which has been busily crushing the wheat stalks with its ion-ray gun. A small green alien shakes his fist at the passing horses.

As the final horse passes, Moody’s eye bounces out of the hunting horn, bopping the alien on the head. The alien loses control of his space ship, flying up into the air, as the eye rolls about in the bottom of the ship….

The space ship makes a loop-de-loop, and the eye falls out, hurtling down toward the earth and onto a passing truck. Hitting the hood, it bounces up onto the hood, and then into the back, which holds boxes and furniture.

The truck pulls up to a quiet suburban street. The back opens and two moving men lift a soft sofa out of the truck, carrying it down a ramp to the street.

The eye rolls off the sofa cushions and by the feet of the moving men. It rolls down the street past a white picket fence.

A small kitten runs out from behind the fence and attacks the eye, batting it between its paws.

WOMAN’S VOICE (off-screen)
Cornelius! What are you playing with?

A pair of hands with stubby fingers comes into frame. It pushes the kitten away and picks up the eye. As she raises the eye to examine it, we see that the hands belong to DELORES UMBRIDGE.

UMBRIDGE
Well! Isn’t this a lucky find?

As we focus on her face, we can see a large, gold locket dangling around her neck. With a smug smile:

UMBRIDGE
Yes, I think I can find a good use for this!

She giggles and puts it into her pocket. Picking up the kitten, Umbridge pushes the gate of the fence open and heads up the path to her cottage.

FADE OUT