Deathly Hallows – Chapter 6
Jun. 17th, 2009 05:27 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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deathtocapslockMy apologies about the lateness of this entry. I was without internet access.
The Ghoul in Pajamas
Okay. We’ve had the first big chase scene. We’ve had the obligatory pathos in the shock of Moody’s presence-like death. Time for the story proper to start, right? Right? Start, story, start! (Kicks story) C’mon, start!
Sigh. Okay. Never mind.
The shock of losing Mad-Eye hung over the house in the days that followed.
I’d like to point out that there are only four days between the chase and Harry’s birthday. Not much time to feel the shock of Mad-Eye’s death which is like a presence. Days so filled with chore activity that the Trio has not even a minute to plan their quest. Or maybe, every time they tried the “shock of losing Mad-Eye” came stumping in like himself to take a swig of firewhiskey.
Ron mentions that the Trace is on Harry until his seventeenth birthday. How does one get the Trace? Is it like that magic book that writes your name down for Hogwarts? Does it extend from all sides of you, like a big plastic bubble, detecting any magic done within its reach? Would anyone really be able to distinguish Harry’s magic from all the other magic happening at the Burrow?
I suppose that the trace might alert people to the fact that Harry is at the Burrow and not someplace else, if it’s tied to him directly. But, don’t they already know about that at the Ministry?
Harry and Ron are having this discussion alone in the kitchen, nevertheless, Ron takes care to mouth the word “Horcruxes.” Oh Ron, so clever when it’s completely unnecessary. So idiotic when it counts!
And, I have to say, the way they are talking makes it sound like a camping trip and not a deadly dangerous quest. You’ll note that Ron and Harry do no thinking about that aspect. No, wait. They don’t do any thinking or planning at all. That’s girl’s work.
Just so we know that they’re alone, we get a rundown of where everyone is. Bill has gone to work. Mrs. Weasley is upstairs waking up Ginny and Hermione (or they are having a slashy threesome), and Fleur has “drifted off to take a bath.” Okay, there’s no point in my noting this, except I find that image of Fleur drifting off for a bath really funny. I’m imagining her floating a few inches off the ground and her hair waving around like Ophelia’s.
Harry looks mutinous when Ron insists he stay for Bill and Fleur’s wedding. The millions of fans reading the book for the first time are on Ron’s side. We want the wedding! We want the wedding! Those reading the book for the second time are with Harry. Get the story started! Get the story started!
Ron warns Harry that Molly is going to asking about their super-secret quest. Lupin and Arthur stopped asking when told that Dumbledore requested secrecy. But mother love apparently trumps old guy eccentricity.
Molly becomes shrill and demanding and Harry immediately notices her resemblance to Ginny. What an odd Mrs. Robinson moment we have there. Perhaps Harry is turned on by shrill, demanding women? You’d think he’d be more attracted to Hermione in that case.
I have to give Molly props though. She’s pointing out all the flaws in Dumbledore’s stupid plan: The Trio are underage and only one of them is competent; there’s an entire organization pledged to help out and they’d aren’t allowed to; and there’s no particular reason that Harry has to do this quest, except that Dumbledore said so.
Thwarted, Molly turns into a Stepford mom, but that is only in order to conceal her clever plan to load the Trio down with chores. Harry suspects that something is up, due, no doubt, to his superior people-reading instincts. But, due to his inferior connecting-the-dots ability, he needs to have Ginny explain it to him.
Harry accidentally lets slip that he’s going off to kill Voldemort and Ginny is shocked—and then totally turned on by the idea of Harry killing someone!
Arthur takes time to explain how the Fidelius Charm changes when the secret-keeper dies. This contradicts JKR’s explanation. Since she changed it, that change ought to be significant. I’m not sure what the significance is, however.
The immediate significance is that the Burrow is now the Headquarters of the Order. Since there is absolutely no page time given to Order activities or planning, that doesn’t seem necessary.
It also means that there’s a worry Snape will tell Voldemort about the location of 12 Grimauld Place. Unless we’re supposed to pick up on the anvil-sized hint about Snape’s loyalties when he doesn’t, I don’t see why we needed to worry about that.
To guard against Snape telling Voldemort Order secrets, Mad-Eye put up a bunch of protective charms. Since we haven’t seen them yet, we’ll pretend that they aren’t totally lame. However, the idea is still totally lame, since the first thing Snape would do if he were evil would be to spill all the secrets he couldn’t due to the Fidelius Charm before he ever got to the Black House.
But I think I’ve finally found the reason behind all this rigamarole. The Order had to be forced to leave their Headquarters so that they wouldn’t inconveniently show up when the Trio are hiding out there and accidentally help them out.
I do have to give JKR credit for juxtaposing UST between Harry and Ginny with trying to use forks and knives to eat chicken without touching elbows. That’s pretty funny.
Bill and Lupin weren’t able to find Moody’s body because of the darkness and confusion of the battle three days ago. Did they try Accio corpse?
Because the body hasn’t been found, they haven’t been able to hold a funeral. This helps explain why there was no funeral for Sirius. It doesn’t, however, explain why wizards have never heard of a memorial service.
Harry wants to know why the Ministry hasn’t called a hearing to prosecute Harry for using underage magic in escaping the Death Eaters. Arthur says it’s probably because they don’t want people to know how powerful Voldemort is. Because people would panic if they knew the Voldemort was powerful enough to not even scratch an underage wizard or accurate enough to miss hitting a freaking big half-giant on a humungous flying motorbike.
It kills me that all the political machinations that are going on between the Ministry, the Death Eaters and the Press basically boil down to giving Harry a hard time. They might as well all be on the same side.
Hearing about Scrimgeour oppressively not arresting him for using underage magic, Harry clenches his fist, showing the “I must not tell lies” scar. Fear his Mighty Fist of Integrity, Ministry pawns!
Ron asks, “Is anyone at the Ministry prepared to stand up to [Scrimgeour]?” Arthur replies: “Of course, Ron, but people are terrified.” Which means, basically, “no.”
Arthur then brings up his belief that Charity Burbage didn’t really resign, and that she hasn’t been heard of for weeks now. Not that anybody has been looking for her, of course. Like they haven’t been looking for Ollivander, either. Apparently nobody ever goes looking for anyone in the wizarding world.
Then again, this is a culture with a Ministry-controlled Floo Netowrk and yet no Floo Directory. How would one even begin to look for a missing person?
Molly tells Ron to clean his room, prompting a bizarre tantrum from Ron. Ron sure is prone to odd anger outbursts towards his family members, isn’t he? What with throwing a knife at George, attacking Ginny for kissing a boy, and now this. This must be where Wifebeater!Ron comes from.
Fortunately, the Trio are able to meet in Ron’s room for that important pre-quest planning meeting. They start by arguing for a page or two about whether or not Moody is really dead. Hermione insists that he couldn’t possibly have survived, then bursts into tears when Ron finally agrees with her.
Although there is a nice moment when Harry feels both sorrow and a desire to laugh at the image of Moody’s corpse (with whizzing eye), the only reason for this whole argument is to get Hermione crying so that Ron can show off his enhanced boyfriend skills by offering Hermione a dirty handkerchief. It’s cute, but I wish it were a bit less contrived getting there.
Also, and I feel like a terrible person saying this, but I don’t reallygive a crap care about Mad-Eye Moody.
By all rights Moody should have come roaring back for the final battle. If you don’t actually see the corpse, then the person isn’t actually dead. It’s practically a rule in action-adventure.
Hermione has prepared for the quest by magically brainwashing her parents into assuming new identities and moving to Australia. I can just imagine her Chocolate Frog card now. Hermione Granger, inventor of magical identify theft.
Ron, on the other hand, has trained the Ghoul in the attic to impersonate him when he disappears. I love how Hermione and Ron’s methods for safeguarding their families so perfectly reflect their psyches. Hermione’s method: Overthought and borderline illegal. Ron’s method: Stupid.
Incidentally, while they are having this conversation, Hermione is sorting her books (much as Harry was sorting his personal items in Chapter 2). This gives us another chance to relive the glory that was the Hogwarts student booklist of six years. We get a short reprise of the Monster Book of Monsters (which comically attacks Ron), Hermione relives her crush on Lockhart by nearly bringing along one of his books, and disses Umbridge by tossing her textbook into the rubbish pile.
Harry feels a strong pull towards visiting Godric’s Hollow. Not just because of his parents, but he feels like he’s going to find some answers there. I wonder if he isn’t channeling Voldemort at this point, because that trip to GH never really does pan out for Harry. It nearly gets him killed. It’s the MoM all over again.
Ron then brings up, out of the blue, R.A.B. and the locket Horcrux, leading to a discussion about destroying them, leading to the interesting revelation that Hermione Accio’ed the forbidden Horcrux books out of Dumbledore’s office. This plot development is so absurd that even Hermione blushes.
She Accio’ed the forbidden books. Through the window. Of Dumbledore’s office. I wonder, was that in JKR’s Big Plan from the beginning?
Hermione shivers and shakes with fear because Dumbledore might be angry with her for “borrowing” them. Dumbledore. Who is dead. She should be more worried about me, who is alive, being angry at her for this idiotic plot patch.
Note that Harry, the Chosen One charged with destroying the Horcruxes, never even bothers to crack these valuable books open.
Between Hermione’s trembling and Ron’s witty repartee, the Trio infodumps that Horcruxes are evil, the “opposite of a soul” and depend on their containers. If a container is destroyed “beyond magical repair,” then the Horcrux is destroyed.
Is that really so hard? Harry’s mirror was destroyed beyond magical repair by throwing it into a trunk.
Harry makes gallows humor by remarking that in three days they’ll be free of Molly’s chores and “only” have to hunt Horcruxes. Ron laughs until he sees the huge pile of wedding presents to be sorted. Is this because he’s a boy? To me, sorting wedding presents is a pretty easy, fun task. Especially compared to mucking out chicken coops.
Frighteningly, the chapter still isn’t over. The Delacours arrive. The Trio and Ginny stomp resentfully upstairs to comb hair and wash hands. Is JKR trying to make us hate the Trio? Because right now, if the Death Eaters came looking for Harry, I’d be leading the way.
In anticipation of the wedding, the Weasleys have planted Flutterby bushes in their yard. This is the kind of detail that I used to love in the books. Just a random magical thing with no other purpose than to be fun.
I used to feel that way about the gnomes, too. But unfortunately, the gnomes ceased to be a fun, throwaway thing by HBP when we watched one be humiliated, Abu Ghraib-style, by Fred and George. And now, they just keep popping up out like overage child stars, waving their arms and yelling, “Remember us? We used to be cute!”
People can no longer travel directly to the Burrow by magical means, including Portkeys. So, there must have been more wards placed on the house since Harry’s arrival.
Finally the Delacours arrive. They are yet another set of Disney parents. Mon. Delacour is short with a tiny black beard. Madam Delacour is tall, willowy, and blond.
Another Disneyesque feature to the books is the way that all children seem to resemble their same-gendered parent. For example, Fleur and Gabrielle are both blond, although their father has dark hair (unless he dyes it). Ginny is small, like her mother. Ron is tall, like his father. Harry is the spitting image of James (except for the eyes), and Draco is his father in miniature. It’s like when Lady and the Tramp have kids and the girl puppies look like her and the boy puppies look like him.
Ginny hits a new low by expressing territorial jealousy when Gabrielle, an eleven-year-old child, smiles at Harry. But then again, since Ginny was stalking Harry at eleven, I suppose she knows you can’t be too careful.
The Delacours, it soon transpired, were helpful, pleasant guests. I just had to quote that line, because it seems to me that this is the first time Harry has met any new characters that he didn’t find off-putting in some way.
The narrator mentions that Madam Delacour is proficient at household spells and has the oven “properly cleaned in a trice.” Wow. Color me Freudian, but if there is one place I wouldn’t want my house guests poking around and cleaning, it would be my oven.
The Burrow isn’t big enough to fit all their house guests, and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley are forced to sleep in the sitting room. It’s really a pity that nobody has a magic tent or anything that could be used to accommodate a few people. Or, you know, that rooms can’t magically be enlarged.
Fan Service:
It wouldn’t be a book without plenty of OBHWF!
Remember those student booklists? Here they are again!
The Ghoul finally has a point!
The gnomes. Can’t get enough gnomes.
Fleur’s mom is a MILF and her sister’s pretty hot, too.
Emo!Harry with his Mighty Fist of Integrity!
Fan Slappage:
Gah! The Weasleys are no longer happy! They are psychotic!
She Accio’ed the books. Through the window. Of Dumbledore’s Office.
DVD Extras:
INT. Night – Sirius Black’s Bedroom
Severus Snape crouches on the floor, tears running down his face as he peruses the magical photograph of Lily, laughing as the infant Harry zooms around the picture on his broom. He slowly tears the photograph in half, throwing away the half of the picture that doesn’t contain Lily.
The tiny figure of Harry continues to zoom in and out of the remaining half. Snape brushes at the image impatiently, as though to chase the child away.
PHINEAS NIGELLUS (off-screen)
Professor! Ahem!
Snape turns around, wiping his face.
SNAPE
Has he finally woken up?
NIGELLUS
Yes. He had to wait. Professor McGonagall was meeting with the Heads of the Houses.
SNAPE
What about—
NIGELLUS
Professor Slughorn was there.
SNAPE
Of course. So, did he give you instructions for me?
NIGELLUS
He wants you to come meet with him as soon as possible.
SNAPE
(beat) He’s aware that I’m wanted for his murder? That I’d be arrested on sight?
NIGELLUS
He said that if Draco Malfoy could break into the castle, you ought to be able to do it.
SNAPE
(with a sigh) Fine.
A CRASH is heard.
SNAPE
(drawing his wand) What’s that?
He moves cautiously out the door.
Cut to:
FRONT HALLWAY
Mad-Eye Moody curses silently as he rubs his good leg. The troll-leg umbrella stand is lying on the ground. Moody waves his wand in an intricate pattern.
MOODY
That ought to do it!
He limps out the front door.
As the door closes behind Moody, Snape appears at the top of the steps. He inches his way down them, his eyes darting to the corner, whirling around at every sound.
Snape reaches the bottom of the stairs and stands there, puzzled. He sees the fallen umbrella stand and studies it, then moves to the door.
He touches the door, then puts his wand away and takes out the picture of Lily from his front pocket. He gazes at the picture as he turns back to the hall.
SNAPE
Oh, Lily…
SPECTURAL VOICE
Severus Snape?
Snape startles at the sound. From the end of the hallway, a ghostly figure appears. It is Albus Dumbledore as a ghost. Snape draws his wand as the figure rushes toward him. As he completes a gesture, the “ghost” reaches him and bursts into a cloud of grey powder completely engulfing Snape.
Coughing, Snape emerges from the cloud, his wand in one hand, the picture in the other. He is covered with several inches of powder. He brushes off the photograph, but the powder sticks to it, ruining the image.
Snape looks upward helplessly.
SNAPE
Grand…
Phineas Nigellus appears in a nearby painting.
PHINEAS
He says to hurry up! He has a completely new plan! It’s even better than the first!l
SNAPE
…Just grand.
Muttering, he opens the door and Disapparates.
FADE OUT
The Ghoul in Pajamas
Okay. We’ve had the first big chase scene. We’ve had the obligatory pathos in the shock of Moody’s presence-like death. Time for the story proper to start, right? Right? Start, story, start! (Kicks story) C’mon, start!
Sigh. Okay. Never mind.
The shock of losing Mad-Eye hung over the house in the days that followed.
I’d like to point out that there are only four days between the chase and Harry’s birthday. Not much time to feel the shock of Mad-Eye’s death which is like a presence. Days so filled with chore activity that the Trio has not even a minute to plan their quest. Or maybe, every time they tried the “shock of losing Mad-Eye” came stumping in like himself to take a swig of firewhiskey.
Ron mentions that the Trace is on Harry until his seventeenth birthday. How does one get the Trace? Is it like that magic book that writes your name down for Hogwarts? Does it extend from all sides of you, like a big plastic bubble, detecting any magic done within its reach? Would anyone really be able to distinguish Harry’s magic from all the other magic happening at the Burrow?
I suppose that the trace might alert people to the fact that Harry is at the Burrow and not someplace else, if it’s tied to him directly. But, don’t they already know about that at the Ministry?
Harry and Ron are having this discussion alone in the kitchen, nevertheless, Ron takes care to mouth the word “Horcruxes.” Oh Ron, so clever when it’s completely unnecessary. So idiotic when it counts!
And, I have to say, the way they are talking makes it sound like a camping trip and not a deadly dangerous quest. You’ll note that Ron and Harry do no thinking about that aspect. No, wait. They don’t do any thinking or planning at all. That’s girl’s work.
Just so we know that they’re alone, we get a rundown of where everyone is. Bill has gone to work. Mrs. Weasley is upstairs waking up Ginny and Hermione (or they are having a slashy threesome), and Fleur has “drifted off to take a bath.” Okay, there’s no point in my noting this, except I find that image of Fleur drifting off for a bath really funny. I’m imagining her floating a few inches off the ground and her hair waving around like Ophelia’s.
Harry looks mutinous when Ron insists he stay for Bill and Fleur’s wedding. The millions of fans reading the book for the first time are on Ron’s side. We want the wedding! We want the wedding! Those reading the book for the second time are with Harry. Get the story started! Get the story started!
Ron warns Harry that Molly is going to asking about their super-secret quest. Lupin and Arthur stopped asking when told that Dumbledore requested secrecy. But mother love apparently trumps old guy eccentricity.
Molly becomes shrill and demanding and Harry immediately notices her resemblance to Ginny. What an odd Mrs. Robinson moment we have there. Perhaps Harry is turned on by shrill, demanding women? You’d think he’d be more attracted to Hermione in that case.
I have to give Molly props though. She’s pointing out all the flaws in Dumbledore’s stupid plan: The Trio are underage and only one of them is competent; there’s an entire organization pledged to help out and they’d aren’t allowed to; and there’s no particular reason that Harry has to do this quest, except that Dumbledore said so.
Thwarted, Molly turns into a Stepford mom, but that is only in order to conceal her clever plan to load the Trio down with chores. Harry suspects that something is up, due, no doubt, to his superior people-reading instincts. But, due to his inferior connecting-the-dots ability, he needs to have Ginny explain it to him.
Harry accidentally lets slip that he’s going off to kill Voldemort and Ginny is shocked—and then totally turned on by the idea of Harry killing someone!
Arthur takes time to explain how the Fidelius Charm changes when the secret-keeper dies. This contradicts JKR’s explanation. Since she changed it, that change ought to be significant. I’m not sure what the significance is, however.
The immediate significance is that the Burrow is now the Headquarters of the Order. Since there is absolutely no page time given to Order activities or planning, that doesn’t seem necessary.
It also means that there’s a worry Snape will tell Voldemort about the location of 12 Grimauld Place. Unless we’re supposed to pick up on the anvil-sized hint about Snape’s loyalties when he doesn’t, I don’t see why we needed to worry about that.
To guard against Snape telling Voldemort Order secrets, Mad-Eye put up a bunch of protective charms. Since we haven’t seen them yet, we’ll pretend that they aren’t totally lame. However, the idea is still totally lame, since the first thing Snape would do if he were evil would be to spill all the secrets he couldn’t due to the Fidelius Charm before he ever got to the Black House.
But I think I’ve finally found the reason behind all this rigamarole. The Order had to be forced to leave their Headquarters so that they wouldn’t inconveniently show up when the Trio are hiding out there and accidentally help them out.
I do have to give JKR credit for juxtaposing UST between Harry and Ginny with trying to use forks and knives to eat chicken without touching elbows. That’s pretty funny.
Bill and Lupin weren’t able to find Moody’s body because of the darkness and confusion of the battle three days ago. Did they try Accio corpse?
Because the body hasn’t been found, they haven’t been able to hold a funeral. This helps explain why there was no funeral for Sirius. It doesn’t, however, explain why wizards have never heard of a memorial service.
Harry wants to know why the Ministry hasn’t called a hearing to prosecute Harry for using underage magic in escaping the Death Eaters. Arthur says it’s probably because they don’t want people to know how powerful Voldemort is. Because people would panic if they knew the Voldemort was powerful enough to not even scratch an underage wizard or accurate enough to miss hitting a freaking big half-giant on a humungous flying motorbike.
It kills me that all the political machinations that are going on between the Ministry, the Death Eaters and the Press basically boil down to giving Harry a hard time. They might as well all be on the same side.
Hearing about Scrimgeour oppressively not arresting him for using underage magic, Harry clenches his fist, showing the “I must not tell lies” scar. Fear his Mighty Fist of Integrity, Ministry pawns!
Ron asks, “Is anyone at the Ministry prepared to stand up to [Scrimgeour]?” Arthur replies: “Of course, Ron, but people are terrified.” Which means, basically, “no.”
Arthur then brings up his belief that Charity Burbage didn’t really resign, and that she hasn’t been heard of for weeks now. Not that anybody has been looking for her, of course. Like they haven’t been looking for Ollivander, either. Apparently nobody ever goes looking for anyone in the wizarding world.
Then again, this is a culture with a Ministry-controlled Floo Netowrk and yet no Floo Directory. How would one even begin to look for a missing person?
Molly tells Ron to clean his room, prompting a bizarre tantrum from Ron. Ron sure is prone to odd anger outbursts towards his family members, isn’t he? What with throwing a knife at George, attacking Ginny for kissing a boy, and now this. This must be where Wifebeater!Ron comes from.
Fortunately, the Trio are able to meet in Ron’s room for that important pre-quest planning meeting. They start by arguing for a page or two about whether or not Moody is really dead. Hermione insists that he couldn’t possibly have survived, then bursts into tears when Ron finally agrees with her.
Although there is a nice moment when Harry feels both sorrow and a desire to laugh at the image of Moody’s corpse (with whizzing eye), the only reason for this whole argument is to get Hermione crying so that Ron can show off his enhanced boyfriend skills by offering Hermione a dirty handkerchief. It’s cute, but I wish it were a bit less contrived getting there.
Also, and I feel like a terrible person saying this, but I don’t really
By all rights Moody should have come roaring back for the final battle. If you don’t actually see the corpse, then the person isn’t actually dead. It’s practically a rule in action-adventure.
Hermione has prepared for the quest by magically brainwashing her parents into assuming new identities and moving to Australia. I can just imagine her Chocolate Frog card now. Hermione Granger, inventor of magical identify theft.
Ron, on the other hand, has trained the Ghoul in the attic to impersonate him when he disappears. I love how Hermione and Ron’s methods for safeguarding their families so perfectly reflect their psyches. Hermione’s method: Overthought and borderline illegal. Ron’s method: Stupid.
Incidentally, while they are having this conversation, Hermione is sorting her books (much as Harry was sorting his personal items in Chapter 2). This gives us another chance to relive the glory that was the Hogwarts student booklist of six years. We get a short reprise of the Monster Book of Monsters (which comically attacks Ron), Hermione relives her crush on Lockhart by nearly bringing along one of his books, and disses Umbridge by tossing her textbook into the rubbish pile.
Harry feels a strong pull towards visiting Godric’s Hollow. Not just because of his parents, but he feels like he’s going to find some answers there. I wonder if he isn’t channeling Voldemort at this point, because that trip to GH never really does pan out for Harry. It nearly gets him killed. It’s the MoM all over again.
Ron then brings up, out of the blue, R.A.B. and the locket Horcrux, leading to a discussion about destroying them, leading to the interesting revelation that Hermione Accio’ed the forbidden Horcrux books out of Dumbledore’s office. This plot development is so absurd that even Hermione blushes.
She Accio’ed the forbidden books. Through the window. Of Dumbledore’s office. I wonder, was that in JKR’s Big Plan from the beginning?
Hermione shivers and shakes with fear because Dumbledore might be angry with her for “borrowing” them. Dumbledore. Who is dead. She should be more worried about me, who is alive, being angry at her for this idiotic plot patch.
Note that Harry, the Chosen One charged with destroying the Horcruxes, never even bothers to crack these valuable books open.
Between Hermione’s trembling and Ron’s witty repartee, the Trio infodumps that Horcruxes are evil, the “opposite of a soul” and depend on their containers. If a container is destroyed “beyond magical repair,” then the Horcrux is destroyed.
Is that really so hard? Harry’s mirror was destroyed beyond magical repair by throwing it into a trunk.
Harry makes gallows humor by remarking that in three days they’ll be free of Molly’s chores and “only” have to hunt Horcruxes. Ron laughs until he sees the huge pile of wedding presents to be sorted. Is this because he’s a boy? To me, sorting wedding presents is a pretty easy, fun task. Especially compared to mucking out chicken coops.
Frighteningly, the chapter still isn’t over. The Delacours arrive. The Trio and Ginny stomp resentfully upstairs to comb hair and wash hands. Is JKR trying to make us hate the Trio? Because right now, if the Death Eaters came looking for Harry, I’d be leading the way.
In anticipation of the wedding, the Weasleys have planted Flutterby bushes in their yard. This is the kind of detail that I used to love in the books. Just a random magical thing with no other purpose than to be fun.
I used to feel that way about the gnomes, too. But unfortunately, the gnomes ceased to be a fun, throwaway thing by HBP when we watched one be humiliated, Abu Ghraib-style, by Fred and George. And now, they just keep popping up out like overage child stars, waving their arms and yelling, “Remember us? We used to be cute!”
People can no longer travel directly to the Burrow by magical means, including Portkeys. So, there must have been more wards placed on the house since Harry’s arrival.
Finally the Delacours arrive. They are yet another set of Disney parents. Mon. Delacour is short with a tiny black beard. Madam Delacour is tall, willowy, and blond.
Another Disneyesque feature to the books is the way that all children seem to resemble their same-gendered parent. For example, Fleur and Gabrielle are both blond, although their father has dark hair (unless he dyes it). Ginny is small, like her mother. Ron is tall, like his father. Harry is the spitting image of James (except for the eyes), and Draco is his father in miniature. It’s like when Lady and the Tramp have kids and the girl puppies look like her and the boy puppies look like him.
Ginny hits a new low by expressing territorial jealousy when Gabrielle, an eleven-year-old child, smiles at Harry. But then again, since Ginny was stalking Harry at eleven, I suppose she knows you can’t be too careful.
The Delacours, it soon transpired, were helpful, pleasant guests. I just had to quote that line, because it seems to me that this is the first time Harry has met any new characters that he didn’t find off-putting in some way.
The narrator mentions that Madam Delacour is proficient at household spells and has the oven “properly cleaned in a trice.” Wow. Color me Freudian, but if there is one place I wouldn’t want my house guests poking around and cleaning, it would be my oven.
The Burrow isn’t big enough to fit all their house guests, and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley are forced to sleep in the sitting room. It’s really a pity that nobody has a magic tent or anything that could be used to accommodate a few people. Or, you know, that rooms can’t magically be enlarged.
Fan Service:
It wouldn’t be a book without plenty of OBHWF!
Remember those student booklists? Here they are again!
The Ghoul finally has a point!
The gnomes. Can’t get enough gnomes.
Fleur’s mom is a MILF and her sister’s pretty hot, too.
Emo!Harry with his Mighty Fist of Integrity!
Fan Slappage:
Gah! The Weasleys are no longer happy! They are psychotic!
She Accio’ed the books. Through the window. Of Dumbledore’s Office.
DVD Extras:
INT. Night – Sirius Black’s Bedroom
Severus Snape crouches on the floor, tears running down his face as he peruses the magical photograph of Lily, laughing as the infant Harry zooms around the picture on his broom. He slowly tears the photograph in half, throwing away the half of the picture that doesn’t contain Lily.
The tiny figure of Harry continues to zoom in and out of the remaining half. Snape brushes at the image impatiently, as though to chase the child away.
PHINEAS NIGELLUS (off-screen)
Professor! Ahem!
Snape turns around, wiping his face.
SNAPE
Has he finally woken up?
NIGELLUS
Yes. He had to wait. Professor McGonagall was meeting with the Heads of the Houses.
SNAPE
What about—
NIGELLUS
Professor Slughorn was there.
SNAPE
Of course. So, did he give you instructions for me?
NIGELLUS
He wants you to come meet with him as soon as possible.
SNAPE
(beat) He’s aware that I’m wanted for his murder? That I’d be arrested on sight?
NIGELLUS
He said that if Draco Malfoy could break into the castle, you ought to be able to do it.
SNAPE
(with a sigh) Fine.
A CRASH is heard.
SNAPE
(drawing his wand) What’s that?
He moves cautiously out the door.
Cut to:
FRONT HALLWAY
Mad-Eye Moody curses silently as he rubs his good leg. The troll-leg umbrella stand is lying on the ground. Moody waves his wand in an intricate pattern.
MOODY
That ought to do it!
He limps out the front door.
As the door closes behind Moody, Snape appears at the top of the steps. He inches his way down them, his eyes darting to the corner, whirling around at every sound.
Snape reaches the bottom of the stairs and stands there, puzzled. He sees the fallen umbrella stand and studies it, then moves to the door.
He touches the door, then puts his wand away and takes out the picture of Lily from his front pocket. He gazes at the picture as he turns back to the hall.
SNAPE
Oh, Lily…
SPECTURAL VOICE
Severus Snape?
Snape startles at the sound. From the end of the hallway, a ghostly figure appears. It is Albus Dumbledore as a ghost. Snape draws his wand as the figure rushes toward him. As he completes a gesture, the “ghost” reaches him and bursts into a cloud of grey powder completely engulfing Snape.
Coughing, Snape emerges from the cloud, his wand in one hand, the picture in the other. He is covered with several inches of powder. He brushes off the photograph, but the powder sticks to it, ruining the image.
Snape looks upward helplessly.
SNAPE
Grand…
Phineas Nigellus appears in a nearby painting.
PHINEAS
He says to hurry up! He has a completely new plan! It’s even better than the first!l
SNAPE
…Just grand.
Muttering, he opens the door and Disapparates.
FADE OUT
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no subject
Date: 2009-06-18 10:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-19 12:12 am (UTC)Actually, since we get no indication that anyone forced Snape to show the DEs the Order's Headquarters once Albus was dead, he *must* have prevaricated on the issue somehow. I will not believe that he refused to give them the tour for fear of Dustledore.