deathtocapslock | Deathy Hallows Chapter 9

A Place to Hide

The action in this chapter follows immediately from the chapter before. Everything seems fuzzy and slow to Harry. I guess those famous Potter instincts for action didn’t kick in. It was probably all the butterbeer Harry was drinking. Either that or his slightly fatter body.

Harry and Hermione throw themselves into the crowd of panicking guests. Because that’s what you want to do when there’s a general panic—go where all the action is, rather than, say, a quiet spot where you can see what’s going on.

The protective enchantments having been broken (with the takeover of the Ministry, I suppose), many of the guests are Disapparating, and the Death Eaters start popping in. Harry sees Tonks and Lupin casting Protego to shield the guests. I mention this because I believe it’s the last time we’ll see either one of them do anything useful.

Meanwhile, Harry Potter, protector of the innocent, is looking for Ron so they can Apparate the hell out of there.

Which is all Hermione’s doing. Harry just goes along.

They land in Tottenham Court Road, and Hermione explains it was the first place she thought of, and that the Death Eaters wouldn’t expect them to be in a Muggle area. That’s fair enough. If I were the Trio, I would have headed for Muggleland myself. However, if I were the Muggle-raised Hermione, I think I would have tried to plan that part a bit better.

And this all raises the question: Maybe I’m just over sensitive to this in a post 9/11 world, but where was the Order’s contingency plan? They go to the trouble to polyjuice Harry during the wedding, but there was no plan in case an actual Death Eater showed up?

Sigh. Wizards.

Hermione pulls them into an alley so that Ron can change into the Muggle clothing she just happened to pack in her tiny purse with an Undetectable Extension Charm—which means that she can put a lot in the purse. Three changes of clothing. Harry’s rucksack. Stacks of books. A tent, which itself can open up into a three-room suite.

Okay, first off—if it’s possible to create a teeny, tiny purse which has the carrying capacity of a Chevy Suburban, why aren’t these things standard issue at Hogwarts? If the Ministry could give Hermione a time-turner in third year, why couldn’t they give her a decent book bag to hold the triple number of books she had to carry? Why isn’t some wizard with a talent for charms (it’s a “tricky charm” Hermione says) making a fortune selling these purses in Diagon Allley?

Secondly, what is an Undetectable Extension Charm? Undetectable by whom? The Ministry? Are tiny little big purses illegal or something?

Thirdly, that extra-special mokeskin pouch of Harry’s is no longer looking so special, is it? All that stuff he’s storing in it—the snitch, the map, and the piece of glass---he could carry in his pocket just as well. What is the use of giving Harry an extra-special, extremely rare neck pouchie if Hermione can carry half of Britain in her disco bag?

As he dons the Invisibility Cloak, Harry suddenly remembers that there were other people at the wedding. People who could be in danger! Ron and Hermione, knowing Harry’s “saving people thing,” convince him that they would only put the wedding party in more danger by going back.

There’s a lot of giggling and leering from the Muggles of Tottenham Court Road. Is this the famous English penchant for getting drunk off your ass? How exotic!

Seriously, what is with the Muggles here? Hermione attracts leers, wolf-whistles, and shouts of “Ditch Ginger and come and have a pint!” Is this to let us know that Hermione, in the lilac party dress, is attractive? Is it to foreshadow her being menaced by Fenrir later on (the wolf-whistles, dontcha know)? Or is it to show that, compared to the gentile and quaint manners of the wizarding world, Muggles are coarse, drunk savages?

The Trio goes to an all-night café in order to talk over the situation, but the café is no refuge for our heroes. Harry is uncomfortable having to sit still (under a cloak), Hermione is sitting with her back to the door, which makes her twitchy, and Ron doesn’t like the coffee.

Although it’s a mystery during a first reading, it makes sense that the Death Eaters appear because Hermione utters the magic word, “Voldemort.” On my first reading, I assumed that the Death Eaters were attracted by the presence of any magic in all-Muggle area and were checking it out. Either that or they were on a coffee break.

Ron blows their cover as Muggles by acting like he’s never tasted a cappuccino and asking Hermione if she’s got any Muggle money. There’s a brief fight in which: Harry manages to fire a spell through the Invisibility Cloak; Hermione manages to be both panicky and take out the last Death Eater; and Ron manages to look like an idiot when he can’t get his wand out of his pants. Cue the wand=penis jokes.

In her panic, Hermione slips in magicking away Ron’s ropes (using Diffindo) and ends up giving him a deep cut on his knee. Whatever happened to “Finite Incantatem?”

As Harry looks over the stunned blond Death Eater, he says, “I should’ve recognized him, he was there the night Dumbledore died.” No duh, Harry. Then again, Ron was actually fighting with the guy for half an hour before you showed up, so maybe he should have recognized him, too.

Also, Ron has apparently been studying the Ministry’s most-wanted Death Eater posters because he identifies the blond Death Eater as Thorfinn Rowle, and the other one as Dolohov. Dolohov. The one they all fought at the MoM.

Why did Dumbledore waste Snape by having him give Harry Occlumency lessons? It’s clear that what Harry (and his friends) desperately needed were basic spy lessons! Lesson Number One: How to Recognize Death Eaters Who Have Tried to Kill You in the Past (Even if they Are Wearing Tool Belts).

The Deluminator proves its worth as Ron takes out all the lights in the restaurant and Hemione locks the door so they can deal with the helpless Death Eaters. Yay, Deluminator! You saved Ron the effort of flipping the light switch!

Harry has the brilliant idea of Obliviating the Death Eaters to throw Voldemort off the scenet. Again, this would have been a useful thing for Dumbledore to have taught Harry. Although, I suppose it’s possible that, had the Occlumncy lessons continued, Snape might have gotten around to it.

As it is, Hermione is given the job. She claims not to ever done a Memory Charm, but she “know[s] the theory.”

I’ll bet she did a Memory Charm on JKR, to make her forget that Hermione admitted four days ago that she charmed her parents into thinking they were other people.

I wonder if JKR went back and added that Ghoul chapter later on, realizing that she needed to explain why the Death Eaters never attacked Ron or Hermione’s family? There are references later on in the book to the Ghoul, but the Hermione stuff has always felt stuck in at the last minute.

Since the Trio don’t know about the taboo, they try to puzzle out how the Death Eaters found them. They think it might have been the Trace on Harry’s magic.

I love when Ron protests the idea that it could be the Trace. It’s against the law to put a trace on an adult! Ron, you have demolished that theory with your logic!

But… allow me a bit of genuine logic: Harry was hidden under the Invisibility Cloak when the Death Eaters came in. If they were looking for him, they would have noticed that the people in the café were a red-haired boy and a girl. In other words: Not Harry.

Also, none of them had done any magic since they Apparated to the area, which was a good fifteen minutes before the Death Eaters showed up and a few blocks away.

So… whatever it was that drew them, it wasn’t the Trace.

All this I’m coming up with two years later, having had time to reflect. At the time, I was simply shouting at the book, “Who cares why the Death Eaters showed up? Get a freakin’ plan!”

The best plan they can come up with is to go to Grimauld Place. Okay, my plan would have been to catch a bus to the Holiday Inn, which has very reasonable rates and a swimming pool. But to each their own.

The Trio does discuss the possibility that Snape might be there, since he knows where the place is. All I can say is that they’re lucky Snape is secretly on their side, because if he was evil, the end of the whole saga would have come in about five pages.

As it is, they go to Grimauld Place and encounter the anti-Snape defenses set up by Mad-Eye Moody.

What can I say about these wards that hasn’t been said before? Only that my personal theory is that the one person Dumbledore truly took into his confidence regarding Snape was Moody. Alone, of all the Order, Moody was the one who knew that Snape was going into deep cover with some important message to deliver at the right moment. Thus, Moody’s wards were designed to look impressive while putting up no real defense against Snape’s ability to use the place—making it the perfect hide-out for Snape during the period between killing Dumbledore and being appointed Headmaster of Hogwarts.

Unfortunately, they don’t even look impressive.

Which Harry notes, as he imagines Snape blasting the powdery Dumbledore aside as easily as he had the real Dumbledore.

I think, though, that we are supposed to regard Dustledore as scary, since Harry’s nerves are tingling, and Hermione is casting frightened looks and jumping when mice scuttle and things like that.

Harry then feels a stabbing pain in his scar, signaling that Voldemort is really angry about something. Hermione yells at Harry to stop feeling pain! Dumbledore told him to close that scar connection. I always get annoyed at Hermione when she does this—it’s not like anyone wants to feel searing pain when their arch nemesis gets ticked off. And it’s not like yelling at someone is going to help them calm their minds.

Can you imagine what torture the Occlumency lessons would have been if Hermione had been teaching them?

As Harry struggles to control himself, a silvery weasel soars through the window (which is open?) and lands on the carpet. It is from Arthur and tells them that the family is safe and not to reply, as they are being watched.

Both Ron and Hermione are immediately relieved. Harry is belatedly relieved when he reminds himself that Ginny belongs to the family mentioned and that he is in love with her and not just using her as a beard to hide his obsession with Draco.

Meanwhile, the pain is becoming overwhelming and Harry bolts to the bathroom to be alone. He has a vision of Voldemort forcing Draco to crucio Rowle for telling him that Harry got away.

So, Voldemort is continuing that strategy of punishing his followers for bringing him vital information. I’m sure that that next time Rowle discovers Harry’s whereabouts, he’ll be sure not to tell anyone about it.

Of course, it’s not like Rowle even saw Harry in the café. He was stunned while Harry was still under the Invisibility Cloak. And wasn’t he supposed to be Obliviated? Well, I guess the Memory Charm didn’t work after all.

By the way, Harry is sickened by the thought of Draco having to torture people in order to please Voldemort. This is because Harry hasn’t yet learned the joy of Crucio.

Fan Service:
Grimauld Place is back! Down to the Troll Leg umbrella stand that Tonks knocked over a yaer ago and nobody bothered to set upright again!
Harry is sickened by Draco’s predicament. H/D lives!

Fan Slappage:
Memory charm? What memory charm?
Hmm. The Trio is going to need stuff on their quest. How are they going to get it? What the hell, let’s just have Hermione carry it all.

DVD Extras:
INT. NIGHT – Tottenham Court Police Precinct

The DESK SERGEANT sits in his office. There is a knock at the door, and CONSTABLE O’DELL enters.

O’DELL
I have that report from that incident at the All-Night Café.

SERGEANT
Right. Did you interview the witnesses?

O’DELL
I have a statement from the waitress. She claims that there were two teenagers. One was a girl in a purple dress and the other was a boy in very tight pants.

SERGEANT
What about the workmen?

O’DELL
I couldn’t get much out of them. They kept asking for airline schedules.

SERGEANT
That’s odd. Did you ask them why?

O’DELL
They claimed that they needed a flight to Australia.

SERGEANT
I thought they were construction workers? Why would they be heading to Australia?

O’DELL
To set up a dentist’s office. Apparently they were weren’t workmen at all—in spite of the toolbelts. One of them—big blond fellow—said his name was “Wendell Wilkins.” But he didn’t have a lick of identification on him.

SERGEANT
Mark my words, he’s up to something funny.

O’DELL
They were a pair, they were. The other fellow was even worse. Kept insisting that we call him “Monica.”