Deathly Hallows Chapter 14

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

The Thief

Harry lands with the rest of the trio in a forest. Hermione later tells him that it’s the place where the Quidditch World Cup took place. So, where is the Robinson family, I wonder?

Never mind for now. The immediate problem is that Ron has comically, I mean tragically splinched himself. Don’t drink and Apparate, kids.

Thankfully, Ron has only splinched part of his upper arm, so it’s in a PG-rated place. The wound looks liked someone scooped away part of the arm. I am imagining an ice-cream-shaped piece of Ron’s flesh ending up somewhere inappropriate. Like maybe some little kid’s ice-cream cone.

Inappropriate! I know. This isn’t funny! It’s dramatic!

Naturally Hermione has prepared for life-threatening injuries by packing “Essence of Dittany” in her bag. I’ll bet she’s got a bezoar in there, too.

Harry reaches into her bag for the bottle of dittany and object after object begins “presenting itself to his touch,” making the bag sound like the newest version of Safari, or that cool iTunes interface which stacks your albums into a neat row of pictures.

Three drops of dittany close the wound and create new skin over the gaping hole. Hermione admits that that’s all she knows how to do. Well, as long as it stops someone from bleeding to death. Should come in handy if they ever come across anyone else who happens to be bleeding to death. Say, from a big bite on the neck.

Hermione admits, tearfully, that Yaxley grabbed her as they Apparated to 12 Grimauld Place, and, since he probably saw the door, then he’s in on the secret and can tell the Death Eaters any time about their hideout.

Hmm. So, the smart thing would have been to stay on the stoop, pull him into the house and either kill him or imprison him in one of the many rooms. Or obliviate him, which we know Hermione can do. But, I guess this is one of those times when Hermione isn’t a cool head in a crisis.

But Harry gallantly takes the blame by showing Hermione Moody’s eye and admitting that he was the one who screwed up the mission.

Harry worries about the Death Eaters showing up—like they did at the all-night café, but Ron is too weak to move, so they decide to set up camp in the tent Hermione thoughtfully packed in her bag.

Hermione casts a number of protective spells around the tent. Salvio Hexia: The closest I can translate this is to Healthy Hex (Salveo: To be healthy) or Safety Hex (Salvus: Safe, sound).

Protego Totalum: Total Protection. Repello Muggletum: Go away, Muggles! (So, Muggle is a Latin word?) and Muffliato: Soundproofing. Her last ward is Cave Inimicum: Beware of Enemy, which is probably some kind of alarm system.

By the way, Erecto is the spell that sets up the tent, which Hermione casts in the middle of the other spells, since Harry isn’t competent enough to do it himself. Sometime I wonder if Harry learned anything in six years of school.

I am slightly amused that Harry recognizes the tent and correctly identifies its owner as Perkins, that bloke from the Ministry. This is Harry, who can’t remember who that tall weedy kid he spent five years in classes with was.

Hermione nearly says the name Voldemort—which would have made this a much shorter book. Ron, however, saves them all through the power of superstition. Harry wants to argue about that, since Dumbledore said it was cowardly to use You-Know-Who, but Hermione sides with Ron because he’s so ill.

In the tent, Ron worries about the Cattermoles. This worrying over other people really turns Hermione on, as Harry notices. Grr. This is not unusual for Ron, folks! Ron shows empathy all the time, and I always believe that it’s genuine. In contrast, Hermione’s tears always seem based more on political ideology than actual empathy.

The locket is passed around and discussed, leading to the revelation that—surprise!—the Trio doesn’t know how to destroy the damn thing! This is yet another time that a Dark Arts expert would have come in handy.

Ron is the one who first realizes that the locket has a pulse—like a tiny, beating heart. Do all the Horcruxes have little beating hearts? Or do they contain the other organs? Perhaps the ring Horcrux contained Voldemort’s kidney? And the cup holds his bladder? Wouldn’t it be funny if it randomly pissed? If the diadem holds his brain, that would explain a lot of his actions…

Harry makes the executive decision to wear the locket, even though they know that it’s evil. They discussed the danger of wearing a Horcrux, and even speculated that it might make Umbridge more evil than ever. But either Harry thinks he can handle it or he just plain forgot.

There’s a spooky passage while Harry sits sentry at the tent entrance and thinks emo thoughts about the danger they are in and his eventual showdown with Voldemort. His scar starts to prickle and Harry thinks about Kreacher, left back in the house without knowing where they are or if they’ll ever be back. I think it’s curious that the mental connection actually prompts Harry to think about another being—it’s almost as if Voldemort were more empathetic than Harry, instead of being a sociopath.

I’m also wondering if the locket, being in close proximity to Harry’s Horcrux, might not intensify the connection and make it easier for Harry to eavesdrop on Voldemort’s thoughts. But that’s never stated in the text, and Harry’s had plenty of visions before this, so I don’t think so. Harry’s visions seem to be based most strongly on what will advance the plot, rather than anything else, as Voldemort doesn’t seem particularly emotional in this one.

The vision involves Voldemort torturing an upside-down Gregorovitch. You know, this “hanging man” motif is getting old for me. I’m not horrified by the image of a trussed-up Santa Claus slowly turning while Voldemort questions him about “it.” The picture in my mind is rather comic, as Voldemort is forced to pause every five seconds as Gregorovitch revolves away from him.

Voldemort Legilimenses Gregorovitch and Harry sees a memory of a young man with golden hair, perched on a window sill. The young man shoots a stunning spell at Gregorovitch and jumps (or flies) out the window. Apparently, the young man has stolen something from Gregorovitch, something Voldemort wants very much, but we still don’t know what it is.

Again, withholding this information from the reader is just silly. It makes the mystery all about what Voldemort wants—a mystery we cannot possibly solve because we need to hear the story of The Three Brothers and Their Idiot Requests That Death Fulfills For No Apparent Reason. There was no need to make this mysterious. It would have been more suspenseful and interesting for the reader if we had known Voldemort was searching for a super wand.

By the way, Gregorovitch, who must have suffered (or prospered) until Grindelwald’s reign of terror, has no idea who this young man is. That’s even worse than Harry not recognizing him. True, Harry saw a picture of the guy about five hours ago, but if someone is holding your country in thrall, then you would probably know what he looked like. It’s not like Grindelwald was a child when he stole the wand from Gregorovitch.

And it’s not like Grindelwald radically changed appearance and name, the way that Voldemort did.

Moreover, even if Gregorovtich didn’t recognize Grindelwald’s face from the moving photographs in the papers—surely he must have recognized the wand! I mean, random people recognize Bellatrix Lestrange’s wand. Gregorovitch was a wandmaker. A violin maker would recognize a Stradivarius by the sound. Surely a wandmaker would recognize the Elder Wand by sight, especially if he had owned it!

At this point, Harry wakes up screaming, annoying Hermione because he’s not practicing Occlumency. So, we get another scolding from Hermione and Harry is sent to bed like a naughty child.

Continuing the naughty child theme, he and Ron whisper to each other about the vision and what Voldemort might be up to. Harry lays out the mystery one more time for us: Voldemort is looking for something. We don’t know what it is, but it’s probably connected to Harry’s super wand mastery that keeps Voldemort from killing him. Whatever it is, a wild, laughing boy who looks familiar (because Harry saw him hugging Dumbledore about five hours ago) stole it.

Geez. Now we’re recapping the chapter within the chapter.

There is an interesting note though: Grindelwald reminds Harry of Fred and George. So, maybe he does have a clue about how destructive the twins could be. Had Fred not later been killed, perhaps they would have become the next Dark Lords. (Sort of like Bill Gates.) The wizarding world really dodged a bullet there, even if Fred did not.

Anyway, after doing his recapping duties, Harry falls asleep, exhausted. I know how he feels.

But at least he isn’t obsessing about Dumbledore.

Fan Service:
Snapists rejoice as Harry proves true Snape’s assessment of him as a lazy, mediocre wizard who relies on his more talented friends to do everything.
Steve Kloves rejoices as Hermione becomes even more super than he could ever have imagined.
Remember that moment when Ron failed his Apparation test by half an eyebrow? That totally foreshadowed Ron splinching himself!

Fan Slappage:
Remember how important it was that Harry learn Occlumency? Doesn’t seem to be that important after all.
The more we learn about Grindelwald, the less impressive he gets.

DVD Extras:

TITLE CARD: Meanwhile, back at Hogwarts….

INT: DAY -- Headmaster’s Office

Snape sits at the desk, perusing an enormous schedule spreadsheet (on parchment). There is a KNOCK at the door and PANSY PARKINSON sticks her head in.

PANSY
You wanted to see me, Headmaster Snape?

SNAPE
Yes. Have a seat.

Pansy sits expectantly in the chair opposite the desk.

SNAPE (CONT’D)
As you know, Miss Parkinson, there has been a change in the Ministry and here at Hogwarts.

PANSY
And about time, too, sir.

SNAPE
(waving aside the compliment)
I have been asked by…ah… interested parties to gather some information about the Boy Who Lived.

PANSY
Harry Potter? Is it true, then? That he threatens the D—that he is dangerous?

SNAPE
That is the general opinion. I thought perhaps you, with your excellent contacts in this school, might be able to tell me something about his movements last term.

PANSY
(thinking hard)
Well, he did the normal things. He did quit Quidditch halfway through the season, and he was always following Draco—Mr. Malfoy around. It was very annoying.

SNAPE
(playing with his wand)
Yes, yes. Anything else? Romantic attachments?

PANSY
Oh, yes! He spent nearly all last term plastered up against that stupid blood traitor Weasley.

SNAPE
Are you sure about that?

PANSY
You couldn’t miss it! It was the talk of the school! They were everywhere together. You couldn’t go to the lake or the library without seeing them. It was disgusting!

SNAPE
Thank you, Miss Parkinson. That was very helpful.

PANSY
You’re welcome. Shall I go now?

SNAPE
Just one more thing. (waving his wand) Obliviate!

Pansy’s eyes become unfocussed. Snape stands and moves close enough to murmur in her ear.

SNAPE (CONT’D)
You remember nothing about this three month snogfest between Harry Potter and Ginevra Weasley. As far as you are concerned, Harry Potter has no romantic attachments. In fact, you are convinced that he’s secretly gay.

He waves the wand a second time and Pansy snaps out of her trance.

PANSY
So, like I said, Potter’s too weird to have any girlfriends. I think he’s gay. Was that all you wanted, Headmaster?

SNAPE
Yes. You may go.

She leaves. Snape sits back at his desk and closes his eyes. The portrait of Albus Dumbledore smiles and twinkles from its place behind the desk.

DUMBLEDORE’S PORTRAIT
One down! Only two hundred and seventy-nine more to go!

Snape groans and rubs his temples.

SNAPE
The things I do for you, Albus.

FADE OUT

Comments

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Funny that Hermione says it's "all she knows how to do" but it seems to pretty much cure it. Except I guess the "all I know" is a hand-waving reason for Ron to suffer on afterwards and stay out of any important conversations of strategy. Or "strategy" as it is in this book.

I swear I will never understand the whole "Ron's insensitive" line that started getting pushed a few books back. Sure he's not particularly empathetic, but he is more so than Harry or Hermione a lot of the time. He's normal. Harry and Hermione just fluctuate between stone-cold heartless and self-consciously heroic.

Gregoravich was the most obscure evil dictator ever, apparently. Utterly forgettable to everyone he oppressed.

You probably shouldn't mention Harry's super wand mastery that keeps Voldemort from killing him since it's a total deus ex machina in this book that's never explained.

I don't remember...did they actually give any reason whatsoever that it would be a good idea to wear the stupid Horcrux? If the only one they had so far was the diadem, would Harry have gallantly put that on his head for weeks?

The more we learn about Grindelwald, the less impressive he gets.

To be fair, that's true of almost everyone in this universe.

[seductivedark.livejournal.com]

Three drops of dittany close the wound and create new skin over the gaping hole. Hermione admits that that’s all she knows how to do. Well, as long as it stops someone from bleeding to death. Should come in handy if they ever come across anyone else who happens to be bleeding to death. Say, from a big bite on the neck.

Thank you. *falls at montavilla’s feet to worship*

By the way, Erecto is the spell that sets up the tent, which Hermione casts in the middle of the other spells, since Harry isn’t competent enough to do it himself. Sometime I wonder if Harry learned anything in six years of school.

This ended up as a very phallic paragraph in my mind. Erecto for obvious reasons; Harry’s single and therefore signature spell, Expelliarmus, which de-wands his opponent and which, after all the puerile wand jokes in DHs, tends to look like all Harry’s interested in is emasculating anyone who doesn’t like him.

The locket is passed around and discussed, leading to the revelation that—surprise!—the Trio doesn’t know how to destroy the damn thing! This is yet another time that a Dark Arts expert would have come in handy.

Or a curse-breaker. Or a competent witch or wizard.

Do all the Horcruxes have little beating hearts? Or do they contain the other organs?

*imagining canopic horcruxes*

PANSY
(thinking hard)

*(snip)*

SNAPE
(playing with his wand)

See above. *still back in jr. high* Love the DVD extras!

[jodel-from-aol.livejournal.com]

And they could have had such a fun argument as to whether putting the damned Horcrux in the mokeskin bag would neutralize it. Hagrid tells us that whatever is put in one of those can only be removed by the bag's owner. One should think it ought to protect againse suriptitious escapes as well, eh?

Well, okay, but at least it would have been worth arguing.

[aasaylva.livejournal.com]

Re Ron's splinching: the weird thing about it is, that it must have been Hermione's fault - she apparated the boys side-along - but of course it still hits Ron.

Hermione admits, tearfully...
Now, maybe I am harsh, but why, exactly, is she crying or on the verge of it? When do you cry? Of joy (clearly not the case), of sadness (not really the case either. She's certainly not happy about the whole thing, but that's more of the "damn, why did that have to happen!" kind, not something inducing emotional hurting). Or of fear. Hm. Fear of what or whom? Is she scared of how they are going to deal with this new situation? Might be the classical reaction of a wimpy female, wringing her hands, hoping tearfully for the competent male to rescue her. Not exactly the scenario of Hermione (the female rescuer extraordinaire of her two male damsels)and the two buffoons. Or is she scared of Harry and Ron for blaming this misfortune on her? As sickening as it is, I'd say it's the most likely reason for those tears - if I remember correctly, she's going to tearfully apologize to Harry for breaking his wand while rescuing him from Nagini in several chapters from hence.

But Harry gallantly takes the blame by showing Hermione Moody’s eye and admitting that he was the one who screwed up the mission.
Ha, see? *points to paragraph above* Can't believe guessed right...

OMG - salvio Hexia, protego totalum and muffliato - anyone else got a feeling like these were inspired by safer sex ads? Not to mention erecto, of course...

This is yet another time that a Dark Arts expert would have come in handy.
Not to mention a mentor who didn't think it was a good idea to basically send off a not too bright student with the mission to discover several atomic bombs and diffuse them without telling him how to do it. If not before, this should have been the moment when the trio burnt Dumbledore in effigy.

Good catch as to Gregorovitch not knowing who Grindelwald is.

Grindelwald reminds Harry of Fred and George. So, maybe he does have a clue about how destructive the twins could be.
Ah but you see, that's just the point. the twins and Grindelwald (and Sirius) may have had the same psychological outfit, but only the twins and Sirius were purified into simple fun-loving by being in Gryffindor, under Dumbledore's supreme wing. That's why they hardly ever killed anybody.

[eir-de-scania.livejournal.com]

Harry lands with the rest of the trio in a forest. Hermione later tells him that it’s the place where the Quidditch World Cup took place. So, where is the Robinson family, I wonder?
***In the Muggle version of St Mungos? To be fair, the grounds must have been big to house the World Cup. Still strange Hermione recognises it. One wood tends to look just like another.

I'm at work. Good thing I was alone for the moment when I read the DVD extra, I'm just saying. ;.P

[mary-j-59.livejournal.com]

You are so right about the dittany! And also about Ron's being the most normal and likable of the trio. But I'm mostly posting to say I LOVE your DVD extra. What kind of evil overlord doesn't go for the "hero's" love interest, and what does it say about Snape that nothing happens to her?! As with his silence about Remus Lupin during the years he served Voldemort as a youth, and also all through POA -

Honestly, Rowling's work is full of all sorts of dogs that don't bark in the nighttime, but she is no Sherlock Holmes. Apparently they convey nothing to her. )

[tdotm.livejournal.com]

- “Should come in handy if they ever come across anyone else who happens to be bleeding to death. Say, from a big bite on the neck.”

Grrrr! If Harry had watched Snape’s death alone, there’d be nothing to snark about. (Though some especially ungracious types might doubt Harry’s ability to conjure up a flask for the memory!) He could just lie to Ron and Hermione about where he was going. Why does JKR shoot herself in the foot this way?

Also, I’m surprised someone as calculating and smart as the Half Blood uber-spy didn’t have endless anti-Nagini potions etc on him, whenever he entered the Dark Lord’s presence. Or even something he could take before-hand to halt the flow of blood in an emergency - especially after what happened to Arthur. Constant vigilance, Snape!

- “So, the smart thing would have been to stay on the stoop....I guess this is one of those times when Hermione isn’t a cool head in a crisis.”

“Petrificus Totalis” worked so well on Neville when she was in First Year – it’s such a shame that people have less and less knowledge and ability as they grow up. Or wait.....

- “they decide to set up camp”

ARSE!

- “ This is not unusual for Ron, folks! Ron shows empathy all the time, and I always believe that it’s genuine.”

Unlike when Ginny suddenly sticks up for Luna, when in fact her character is totally someone who would instigate the theft and dispersal of someone else's possessions. B*tch.

Ron benefits from the fact that JKR isn’t trying to make him ‘good’ or ‘special’, seeing as her idea of heroism is schizophrenic sadism/Mary Sue-ism. He’s just a normal bloke, and all the better for it. Please don’t go Ron!

- “speculated that it might make Umbridge more evil than ever.”

Did she get it at the end of Book 5, or early on? It’d be ironic if Umbridge’s monstrous behaviour was partially due to Voldemort’s soul, whilst Hermione’s leading her (possibly) to a fate worse than death at the hands of the Centaurs and scarring Marietta for life was 100% due to her own delightful character.

Still, Umbridge certainly didn’t have it when she set the Dementors on Harry, so there’s no doubt that she was a right piece of work in her own right.

- “Harry makes the executive decision to wear the locket, even though they know that it’s evil.”

Fool. Plus, Hermione is the greatest witch of her age, yet was too busy washing off skid-marks to produce a little box with the magical equivalent of lead to put the Horcruxes in (then stick it in her magical bag). Tut.

- “His scar starts to prickle and Harry thinks about Kreacher, left back in the house without knowing where they are or if they’ll ever be back.”

But he doesn’t think to summon him to check on him, tell him to go to Hogwarts for his own safety, but not before bringing them some food etc. Doesn’t Ron mention that he’s looking forward to Kreacher’s Steak and Kidney pie? Where’s that – did Yaxley eat it?

It’s impossible to feel in the slightest bit concerned for the Trio when they act with such stupidity - it just kept throwing me out of the story. I wasn’t at all worried for them, so unless a snake was literally bursting out of an old woman on the very page I was on, it was just boring.


As always, I loved the dvd extras. However you know the minute Draco found out about Harry and Ginny’s rather obvious relationship, (unlike their break-up), he wrote and told Narcissa who told Bellatrix, who told Voldemort. Anything to build up brownie points in case he failed at his mission. Voldie then ordered the Death Eaters to board the Hogwarts train the minute he took over, to capture, er, Luna. Because kidnapping a girl for falling in love (or the rest of her notorious blood-traitor family) would be just too mean.

Anyway, there was no Unforgiveable they could use on Luna’s dad that would make him do what they wanted him to, oh no. If there was and he was one of those able to resist this hypothetical spell, (which is unlikely seeing as he is neither Chosen, nor the Brightest Wizard of his Age), then they certainly couldn't just KILL HIM. It’s like waiting for the Ministry to fall before attacking the Burrow. It’s hard to be scared of baddies who try their best to avoid falling foul of the authorities, or using Unforgiveables. (They should ask Harry for advice)

[lachlanm.livejournal.com]

montavilla: Harry lands with the rest of the trio in a forest. Hermione later tells him that it’s the place where the Quidditch World Cup took place. So, where is the Robinson family, I wonder?

Memory-charmed and living in Australia, no doubt.

[lissa2.livejournal.com]

"Naturally Hermione had prepared for life threatening injuries by packing "Essence of dittany" in her bag."
And yet she keeps forgetting to pack food.

"The locket is passed around and discussed leading to the revelation that-surprise!-the trio doesn't know how to destroy the damn thing"
Which actually isn't true at all. They do know how to destroy it from Hermione's book and Harry's experience with the horcrux diary in CoS- Basilsk venom and fyendfire.
Notice that none of them suggests infiltrating Hogwarts to get the fangs or send a house elf or the second trio to get them.

"Had Fred not later been killed, perhaps they would have become the next dark lords"
Well they had no problem killing another student or selling rape drugs in their shop so maybe.

"A wild laughing boy who looks familiar (because Harry saw him hugging Dumbledore about five hours ago"
Arrrrrgh this part makes Harry look so brainless, and for what? What would have been lost if Harry had recognized him as the boy from the picture? nothing! he would still have no idea who it was.
JKR really has no respect for her characters, does she?

[va32h.livejournal.com]

I think JKR started paying more attention to the movies than to her own previous writing...thus Hermione becomes SUPER AMAZING HERMIONE and Ron becomes Pathetic Dolt Comic Relief Boy.

I waver between sadness over the lost potential of the series and anger at Rowling for thinking so little of her readers that she thought this was a good enough book.

She can't really think that,can she? She had to know it was a pile of poo, right? No one can be that un-self-aware....except of course her characters....oh fudge.