Deathly Hallows Chapter 20

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

Xenophilius Lovegood

Morning arrives. Hermione is still angry, but Ron is cheery because they have finally made a little bit of progress. This might be a good time to sum where they are in terms of their quest—especially because they are about to take a Detour.

A Detour, as Amazing Race Host Phil Keoghan would tell us, is a challenge in which the contestants must choose between two tasks, both equally daunting. Oh, wait. We aren’t on Amazing Race? My mistake. It was all that random changing of location and pointless tasks when you get there.

Anyway, it’s five months into the quest and they have finally managed to destroy the Horcrux that was supposed to be taken care of last June. The diary is dead, the ring is dead, and the locket is dead. As far as Harry knows, there is the Hufflepuff cup, Nagini, and an object to be announced later.

And Ron is jazzed because someone is helping them! They aren’t completely alone!

Of course they aren’t. There is an entire Order of people dedicated to helping them, only Harry is too obsessed with Dumbledore to even consider that as a possibility. They only reason they’ve been alone for that last four months is because Harry decided that’s what Dumbledore would want.

In the morning, Harry and Ron escape Hermione by looking for mushrooms. In the afternoon, they pretend to look for “nonexistent” blackberries in the hedges near the tent. Exactly how dumb do they think Hermione is? I can sort of buy the mushrooms, because those are fungi, which have strange (and short) periods when the mushrooms appear. But the blackberry season only lasts through September.

Harry almost says the name “Voldemort” and Ron yells at him to stop and then tells him about the Taboo. This is a special piece of magic that allows the Death Eaters to track the use of Voldemort’s name. As an added bonus, it instantly breaks any protective enchantments—such as the ones warding their tent.

Speaking of which, Hermione is described as scowling at them from the tent entrance, where she is reading a book. So…. is the tent invisible or not? It’s not like Hermione told the tent to be invisible to everyone but the Trio. And it’s not like Ron could find it when he was following Harry and Hermione. So how does that work?

Getting back to Ron and the Taboo. Ron is very curious about who sent that doe Patronus. Good for Ron, I say. As far as the mysteries in the story go, this is one of the better ones. And it has a real answer, too.

Harry reminds Ron that it couldn’t have been Shacklebolt, since his Patronus is a lynx, and it couldn’t be Dumbledore because he’s dead. No one even considers Lupin at this point. That’s a little strange. Why not Lupin? We’ve never seen his Patronus. It could be a doe. A very clumsy, manic-depressive doe.

And while I’m at it, would it have killed the Order to do two small things: Teach Harry how to make his Patronus talk, and give them a list of them own Patroni, so that he’ll know if they need to send him a message? Actually, since each Patronus is unique to the caster, casting one would be a much better test of one’s identity than the silly questions they’ve been asking each other.

Back to the mystery, Ron thinks that it might be Dumbledore because he was the last one to have the real sword. Oh, Ron. You are so close! Plus, you are asking the sensible questions. Harry wasn’t the only one who missed you. I missed you terribly.

Unfortunately, Ron then goes on to suggest that Dumbledore set this all up as a mystery for Harry to solve because he knows Harry so well that… well, he must have a reason. Sigh. Okay, Ron is actually right about this, but it doesn’t make me any happier.

Because, if Dumbledore is setting up the Hallows mystery because he knows Harry through and through (like he knew that Ron would run out of the quest and then want to be let in), the reason Dumbledore knows this about Harry is because he trained Harry to be like this.

For example, instead of just telling the students that the Philosopher’s/Sorcerer’s stone was what he was hiding in the third-floor corridor, he made it into a big mystery and dropped all sort of hints—like having Hagrid pick up the stone on the same day he took Harry to the bank. Dumbledore’s been dangling mysteries in front of Harry since the first year.

Harry asks if Ron has heard about Skeeter’s book on Dumbledore and Ron presents the normal wizard’s viewpoint by saying it wasn’t any big deal that Dumbledore was friends with Grindelwald. As I suspected!

When Harry retorts that Dumbledore was their age when he was a Nazi sympathizer, Ron wisely drops the subject. That doesn’t prevent Harry from passive-aggressively punishing Ron by enlarging a spider to “test out his new wand.”

Hermione approaches and tries to give some reassurance to Harry, which Harry interprets as guilt over breaking his old wand. Trying not to piss her off, Harry bites back a retort, but when Ron smiles at her, she gets angry again.

God, these people are tiresome. Ron, let’s run away again. This time I’ll go with you. We can go dancing.

Ron must have heard me, because he takes out a wooden wireless and tries to tune it by tapping it with his wand. I know that a “wireless” is what the English call a radio. But I have trouble visualizing a small wooden one. When I think small, I think of a transistor radio (wow, I’m showing my age here….), when I think of a wooden radio, I think of those old-fashioned ones that were big and sat on a table.

When I think of a wooden wizard’s wireless, I think of a block of wood about the size of a walkman. Literally, a block. Like a children’s building block. Does it have a dial on it? A scanner? Is there an antenna? Am I thinking about this way too much?

Anyway, the wizard wireless seems to work with passwords, rather than broadcast frequencies. So, Ron fiddles with the block of wood and Harry fiddles with his stick of wood, for about ten minutes.

At this point, Hermione comes up to drag Harry into the most major distraction yet. She points to the capital A in Albus Dumbledore’s name in the letter to Grindelwald.

We must find out what this symbol means! Hermione shrills. Why? Because it’s mysterious and it’s connected to Dumbledore (who is dead), Grindelwald (who has no significance to Britain, Voldemort, or Horcruxes), and Godric’s Hollows (which has no connection to anything)! Therefore, it must be important. More important than finding that cup, that’s for sure!

Damn you, Dumbledore. Damn you and your stupid maze obstacle courses you set for your followers that created this Pavlovian response.

For a moment—one brief, shining moment—Harry looks out into the darkness and pronounces this plan stupid. If only he could have stood strong and resisted! I would almost believe him to be a man.

Unfortunately, he’s outvoted, and we’re off for another two chapters of pointless wandering.

The Trio Apparate to Ottery St. Catchpole the next morning. At least this time, they don’t feel the need to spend a month planning this escapade. However, it might have been smarter to have Ron do a little reconnaissance first (or get a map from the local souvenir shop), because they end up having to walk for hours looking for the Lovegood home.

Gad. Is there some dramatic point to having them walk for hours? To have to Disapparate “a few miles North” afterwards before they find this place? You know what? If someone lives far enough away so that you have to walk hours to reach them, then they aren’t neighbors.

Anyway, they finally find a house that looks like a big, black rook. Ron immediately decides that this must be Luna’s house. Because she’s sooooo wacky. And it lets him use the word “rook,” which sets up a pun when Hermione thinks he’s talking about a bird, rather than a chess piece.

This must be to remind us of Ron’s mad chess skillz! Which will come in very handy when… oh, wait. They will never come in handy. Still, anyone who is still playing the lonely drinking game of taking a gulp when Ron talks about chess finally gets to do that!

Is there some symbolism in this giant rook? It’s another tower. If the Astronomy tower is the white tower, and the Burrow is the red tower, then this is the black tower. But… what the heck that means, I have no idea.

They enter the yard, which is overgrown and full of the most ridiculous of the magical plants. They even have a Snargaluff tree. Incidentally, we learn that the radishes Luna wore as earrings are not radishes, but dirigible plums. Which is such a relief, really. It makes her so much less of a weirdo if she’s wearing plums in her ears instead of radishes.

Xenophilius opens the door, looking crazy and old and wearing a stained nightshirt. All the old guys seem to wear nightshirts. All the kids wear pajamas. I wonder when it is that a person switches from one to the other. Probably when you start using a chamber pot. So, he’s crazy and old looking, just like Bathilda Bagshot. However, he doesn’t smell, he does talk, and he’s not concealing a snake inside his skin. So to speak.

We go into the house and Harry notices that it’s over-decorated and tacky. But, since it’s Luna’s style and he likes her, he merely notes that the effect is “slightly overwhelming.”

As far as I can tell, each room is stacked on the others like a pile of checkers. They climb up a spiral staircase in the middle of the kitchen to reach a workroom, which is stuffed with random objects. (It reminds Harry of the cluttered Room of Requirement, foreshadowing our later trip to that room.)

Lovegood asks why they’ve come. Instead of telling him, Hermione shrieks and points to a large horn, which starts an argument between her and Lovegood about whether it comes from a Crumple-Horned Snorkack or an Erumpent. This is an argument that could be settled quite easily. Erumpent horns explode if touched, and Snorkack horns don’t. If I were Ron, I would be sorely tempted to demonstrate, rather than listen to Hermione and Lovegood shriek at each other about it.

But, since I’m forced to witness this without interfering, I’ll simply wonder how, if it is explosive, Lovegood managed to get it into the house and set on the wall without touching it.

He claims he received it two weeks ago from a young wizard who knew of his interest in the animal. So, I wonder… who was this young wizard? Was it… (dun, dun, DUN) Stan Shunpike?! How did he manage to deliver it without exploding?

I’m so distracted by these questions, that I almost don’t notice how incredibly suspiciously Lovegood is acting right now. He might as well be wearing a big sign that reads, “I’m totally conflicted about whether or not to turn you in!”

If I were Harry, I would start running immediately. We just did this a couple days ago, right? And we spent four months in a tent to avoid this type of situation, right? So, we couldn’t possibly be dumb enough to step into yet another trap—oh, I guess we can. Never mind.

Finally, Lovegood makes up his mind and lies to them that Luna is off fishing. The first time I read this, I knew he was lying. However, I didn’t really guess that he was going to alert anyone. I simply thought that he had killed Luna and was hiding her body under the printing press.

Lovegood uses the excuse of telling Luna that they are here to exit. Left alone, Ron and Hermione complain about how cowardly and hypocritical Lovegood is. He told his readers to support Harry, but hesitates to let Harry into his house. It’s obvious that he wasn’t in Gryffindor!

Meanwhile, Harry notices the bust of a witch wearing a bizarre headdress. As they laugh at it, Lovegood comes back, dressed in Wellington boots and carrying tea. He explains that the headdress is modeled on Rowena Ravenclaw’s famous tiara. He then explains that Luna is almost done fishing, offers them an infusion of Gurdyroots, sits back, and asks them how he can help.

So, to sum up: Lovegood is a dirty rotten coward because it took him a minute to decide whether or not to let the most wanted wizard in Britain into his house, although he is now giving them a tea-like drink, and lunch, and offering to answer whatever questions they have.

Hermione asks about the symbol he wore to the wedding and he calls it the “sign of the Deathly Hallows.”

And, on that note, the chapter is finally over.

Fan Service:
Hey! Remember when Ron was a chess wiz? Well, he proves it again by knowing the name of one of the pieces!
Wow, we get to see Luna’s house! And remember how in Goblet of Fire, Arthur said that Lovegoods lived nearby? Well, they totally…

Fan Slappage:
Live ten miles away. Over so many hills that you can’t see either house from the other.
Also, remember when we thought Ron got over his fear of spiders? He never did.


DVD Extras:
INT: DAY – SLYTHERIN COMPARTMENT ON THE HOGWART'S EXPRESS

Draco Malfoy sits quietly, as VINCENT CRABBE and GREGORY GOYLE show off their marks on the D.A.D.A. midyear exam. On his other side, Pansy Parkinson chats with Blaise Zabini, who is lounging beautifully on the opposite bench.

PANSY
I hear they're rounding up so many Muggle-born that they're running out of room in Azkaban!

GOYLE
What're they gonna do with them all?

ZABINI
Probably what they did in Grindelwald's war.

Draco twitches slightly.

PANSY
What was that?

ZABINI
(shrugs)
No one knows exactly. Drowned them. Fed them to dragons.

PANSY
(pale)
Don't be an ass, Zabini.

DRACO
(looking out the window)
We're here.

CUT TO:

EXT. KING'S CROSS STATION

The students disembark from their compartments. At the Ravenclaw car, two Aurors stand waiting. Luna steps off the train.

AUROR #1
Luna Lovegood?

LUNA
Oh! That's my name!

SLYTHERIN CAR

Pansy turns her head to watch Luna as Draco helps her off the steps.

PANSY
Isn't that Loony Lovegood? What do you think they want with her?

DRACO
It must be a mistake. She's pureblood.

PANSY
(biting her lip)
Somebody ought to tell them.

But Draco is already on his way. As he reaches them, Luna is peering at a copy of the Quibbler held by one of the Aurors.

LUNA
Yes. That's my father's newspaper. He's a big Harry Potter supporter.

The first Auror takes her by the arm.

AUROR #1
Come with us.

LUNA
Are we getting ice cream?

DRACO
(stepping in front of them)
Hold on.

AUROR #2
Who are you?

DRACO
I'm the Head Boy. Draco Malfoy.

The Aurors glance uneasily between themselves. Nobody is quite sure what the status of Lucius Malfoy is these days.

AUROR #1
This is none of your business.

DRACO
I think it is.

He quietly rolls up his left sleeve just enough to show his Dark Mark. The Aurors step back a little.

DRACO
(cont'd)
This girl has information important to a certain somebody. He'd be very unhappy if she…. got lost. So, I don't think she'll be going to Azkaban.

LUNA
Actually, I'm on my way home. My father is waiting for me.

DRACO
I think you need to take her directly to Malfoy Manor.

LUNA
(gently)
But I need to get home.

The Aurors exchange glances again. Auror #1 nods to Draco.

AUROR #1
Very well. We'll follow you.

LUNA
But—

The second Auror grabs her other arm as Draco turns away.

Draco swallows. A look of panic plays over his face as he realizes what he's doing.

The camera pulls away overhead as Draco leads the Aurors, who are practically lifting Luna off her feet, through a crowd of frightened Hogwarts students and toward a waiting Ministry car.

FADE OUT

Comments

[night-axe.livejournal.com]

*headdesk* I knew I should have doublechecked. Thanks!

That makes sense about the differences between Patroni. Though Umbridge and McGonagall both having a cat is still odd. Umbridge's Patronus is her sadistic soul laid bare. You'd think McGonagall's Patronus/Animagus form ought to say something deeply apt about her personality, too. But it surely just means she's fussy and fastidious, much more superficial traits.

[aasaylva.livejournal.com]

You'd think McGonagall's Patronus/Animagus form ought to say something deeply apt about her personality<7i>
OMG yes. In fact, her "being" a cat is preposterous - a shepherd dog (faithful to his/ her master Albus) would have been much more appropriate. I suppose the reason behind it was that as house teacher of Gryffindor she had to have some sort of lion imagery going on.

[night-axe.livejournal.com]

A dog would be perfect for her. The cat->lion thing sounds convincing, but JKR can't have it both ways. Either cats are cruel little buggers or they're noble lions in miniature.

The simplest explanation of all may be that if McGonagall needed to hang around Privet Drive for hours in PS/SS, her Animagus form had to be an inconspicuous animal. On a short list that includes sparrows and cockroaches, a tabby cat would have been the best pick.

[eir-de-scania.livejournal.com]

Either cats are cruel little buggers or they're noble lions in miniature.

***Cats are both, and anything between.

Best regards, RedCat, FatCat and TabCat de Scania.

[eir-de-scania.livejournal.com]

My cats didn't mention how they treat neighbourhood cats when they trespass, I notice...

[eir-de-scania.livejournal.com]

Domesticated animals should pose no problems as htere are so many breeds, actually. If you can't tell my poodle and my friends Irish terrier apart you need (new) glasses. ;-)
http://eir-de-scania.livejournal.com/182698.html