Deathly Hallows Chapter 36

[montavilla.livejournal.com]

The Flaw in the Plan

The picture for this chapter is Hagrid carrying Harry out of the forest and I don’t know why, but it’s cracking me up right now.

This chapter starts with Harry waking up yet again. Only this time he’s in the forest instead of nothingness and it’s quite painful. But he has the presence of mind to stay completely still.

He expects to hear shouts of triumph, which is not what I would expect after talking to Dumbledore for an hour in the after-life. I wouldn’t expect to go back in time as well as back to life. But that’s because Harry is all-knowing and I am simply an ignorant reader.

Anyway, instead of the shouts of triumph, there are scurryings and whispers and Bellatrix cooing, “My Lord… my Lord…”

Her cooing is interrupted by Voldemort, who, unlike his soul, is neither flailing nor whimpering. In fact, he sounds just fine as he says, “That will do.”

Harry gets tired of trying to narrate the action through sound alone and opens his eyes a millimeter. Voldmort is getting to his feet and the Death Eaters are hurrying back to their places in the circle. Harry decides that Voldemort must have collapsed when the AK hit Harry. But he’s getting better.

Bellatrix asks if she can help, but “my Lord” coldly refuses, and Harry (who has closed his eyes again) imagines her withdrawing her hand. Well, that’s one way to overcome the handicap of trying to describe action through a filter who has to play dead. Another method would be to just cut all this stuff and get to the action already.

But now we get a long silence and Harry lies there terrified that he’ll twitch a finger or an eyelid and betray his existence. Because, if Voldemort knew that Harry were still alive, he’d trying killing him again. Fourth time’s the charm!

If I were Voldemort, I think I’d try something else at this point. Like cutting off his head. With a Muggle chainsaw.

Voldemort orders someone to check that Harry is dead, along with a bang and a shriek of pain. Elder Wand seems to be working fine against Death Eaters. Or wives of Death Eaters in this case, because the one singled out for this task is Narcissa Malfoy.

Narcissa makes much of her examination, touching Harry’s face, pulling back an eyelid, feeling his chest. He notes that her hands are surprisingly soft. Since this isn’t a fanfic, she doesn’t grab any naughty bits.

But, of course, she can feel his heart beat and she knows he is alive. Rather than tell anyone, she whispers, “Is Draco alive? Is he in the castle?”

I guess she’s desperate, but it’s pretty funny that she thinks he might care. Harry’s the Chosen One! Does he really have the time to take attendance at Hogwarts? And if he did run into Draco, shouldn’t they have tried to kill each other?

Harry breathes the word, “Yes,” and this inspires Narcissa to lie on his behalf. She announces to the circle that Harry is definitely dead. The Death Eaters finally give that shout of triumph and start setting off fireworks from their wands. It’s just like what happened sixteen years ago when Voldemort was vanquished!

Meanwhile Harry reflects that the only reason Narcissa lied was that it meant she could enter the castle and look for her son.

Now, I know that’s JKR laying down the law again, but as usual it doesn’t make any much sense to me. Let’s assume that Voldemort won’t enter the castle unless Harry Potter is dead. There’s no reason for that to be the case, but let’s just assume it. According to JKR’s logic, Narcissa knows this and lies so that there isn’t any impediment.

But if she told the truth, then Voldemort would just take a few minutes to conjure up a Muggle chainsaw (either gas or battery powered) and cut off the kid’s head and then they’d all go to the castle. She can’t wait five minutes? Five minutes to ensure that the Dark Lord’s nemesis is well and truly dead and thus the Death Eaters will win?

Instead she allows the Insufferable Chosen One to fool the Dark Lord and possibly—probably--sneak off to fight another battle? And how is said Dark Lord going to react when he figures that one out? It’s not only Narcissa who would die for that blunder. It would be Lucius and Draco and… Voldemort would probably force Draco to procreate before dying just for the pleasure of killing his kids, too. Slowly and painfully.

The only motive that makes any sense to me is that Narcissa realizes her family will never prosper under Voldemort and their only hope is that the Prophey is true and the Insufferable Chosen One finally kills him off for good. Lucius will still probably go to prison, but she might be able to bargain for Draco since she’s doing Harry a solid here.

And this is also why Lucius saved Snape and hid him under the dining room.

But getting back to the story. Voldemort is as happy as a little girl getting a pony to hear that Harry Potter is dead and celebrates by casting Crucio on the corpse. The curse has enough force to lift his limp body into the air, but not enough force to cause pain. What is this with Crucio bouncing people into the air? That never happened before DH, did it?

Harry bounces three times into the air. But, since he isn’t a ferret and this isn’t a stone floor, it’s no biggie, except that his glasses fall off and his wand slips a little.

I wonder… was that what Croody used to bounce ferret!Draco in GoF? Crucio? It’s the same effect—only in Draco’s case, there would have been no magical ward against the pain. Yikes, that makes that moment even worse than before.

As the Death Eaters jeer and laugh, Voldemort decides that Harry’s body should be carried to the castle. Someone jams the eyeglasses back onto Harry’s face. Voldemort then decides that Hagrid would be the best choice and so Harry finds himself lifted by Hagrid’s gentle arms.

Hagrid doesn’t protest, merely cries great heaving tears as he carries the body. I wonder if they put him under Imperius. It doesn’t really matter, I’m sure that he’d rather carry Harry than have one of the Death Eaters do it. But it seems like Hagrid would have fought once he was untied if it were at all possible.

The Death Eaters start a procession through the forest and the two giants that joined Voldemort bring up the rear. Harry can totally tell that by the sound of trees being pushed aside and the sound of birds rising, screeching into the air. Also, he can tell by the light growing through his eyelids that they’re reaching the edge of the forest. Death has made Harry all-knowing about such things.

Hagrid yells out to the centaurs, especially BANE! Asking if they are happy now that Harry Potter’s dead? Eh? Are they? Are they?!

They’re centaurs. They probably don’t give a damn what the humans do, as long as the humans don’t say something insulting. So, way to bring in the centaur alliance, Hagrid!

Fortunately, the Death Eaters are also insulting the centaurs, so it’s a wash.

Voldemort addresses the people in Hogwarts and tells them that Harry Potter died trying to run away. I don’t know why he bothers to lie about that. It’s not like it makes him seem any better.

According to Voldemort half of the fighters at Hogwarts have died. That’s a lot of people to die while Harry ran around looking Ron and Hermione instead of a diadem. I mean, even after Harry figured out where it was, he still went looking for his friends instead of getting the Horcrux. But I suspect that Voldemort is lying about the numbers here. It’s not like anyone has really had time to count in that pitch-black darkness.

Voldemort then promises that those who kneel before him will be saved, while those who continue to defy him will perish. He takes a lot longer than that to say it, but that’s the general gist. He takes so long that Harry is able to sneak a look, and notices that Nagini is no longer in her cage, but draped around Voldemort’s shoulders.

I always wonder about this. Why is it less important to keep her protected now? Sure, Harry’s dead, but everyone knows that he wasn’t working alone. And Voldemort’s got no reason to think that Harry didn’t tell people about the Horcruxes. He’s got to assume she’s the only one left…

I guess he figures that the Prophecy meant that no one else could possibly ever kill him? Heh. For all he does know, Trelawney’s in another trance talking about how they ought to kill that snake.

Harry, meanwhile, is angsting a bit over the idea that people for whom he had tried to die would see him and think that he’s dead. Well, since you tried to die for them, that’s what they would see if you had succeeded, right?

McGonagall screams out, “NO!” in a way that is ever more terrible than that time she caught him sneaking around at night as a firstie. Bellatrix laughs at the sound because she’s bitch—or because she’s remembering the time she got caught sneaking around as a firstie.

Harry gets a sneak-look as the people in Hogwarts crowd the open doorway to the castle to see the awful truth of Harry being dead. I must not have read that right the first time, because I was imagining them looking down from the windows. Because when you’re defending a castle, you don’t crowd in the doorway like fans at the Oscars. You put the stones in between yourself and the attackers. That’s just common siege sense.

Now Ron, Hermione, and Ginny’s voices cry out and Harry has to steal himself as hard as he can not to answer—not to give away the fact that he’s still alive.

Oh my. How shall I put this? I realize now that this long drawn-out walk through the forest and temptation for Harry at this moment is the supreme test of his passivity as a character. At this moment, he shows his heroism by literally doing nothing.

As lesser man might have cracked. But not Harry.

The cries of his closest friends are picked up and echoed by all the defenders of the castle. Whereupon Voldemort screams, “SILENCE!” and, with a blast of his wand, silences the entire crowd.

So…. that wand that’s not really working great for him can still cast a mass Silencio effective enough to cover a fifty or so people.

Also, Hagrid keeps doing whatever Voldemort says. I’m positive he’s under Imperius. Which means that Voldemort was able to Imperius a half-giant (notoriously spell-resistant). Or else he’s just that charismatic.

Ron yells out that Harry did beat Voldemort—and the Silencio spell is broken. So, maybe that’s what Harry means later on about Voldemort’s magic being weaker than it should be. Okay, I take it back.

Neville now charges forward and Voldemort disarms him. So now Voldemort is master of Neville’s wand. Voldemort asks who he is, and Bellatrix tells him that it’s the son of Frank and Alice Longbottom—the one who has been giving the Carrows so much trouble!

Which means that the Carrows were giving reports to Voldemort about their students. That would make it harder for Snape to impose any kind of non-torture rule. It also means that the daily briefings for Voldmort must last hours, as the Death Eaters report on everything from student essay grades to how many Daily Prophets were sold on an hourly basis.

Because Neville is a pureblood, Voldemort offers him the choice to join up with the Death Eaters instead of just getting killed. Neville refuses and calls out “Dumbledore’s Army” like a battle cry.

Hmm. So… Neville was given the choice to step aside and yet he doesn’t. Does that mean that if Voldemort killed him, everyone in the castle would be protected against him? Because it seems like it’s pretty similar to the Lily situation.

Voldemort doesn’t kill Neville immediately. He goes in for some torture first. He freezes Neville and then conjures the Sorting Hat. The Hat is magically forced on Neville’s head and set on fire as Voldemort threatens to take away the Sorting forever! Everyone will be forced to wear green and silver, regardless of whether or not it goes with their coloring!

I don’t agree with Voldemort’s methods—or the forcing of everyone to wear silver and green, but I can’t help thinking that Hogwarts might be better off without that damned Hat. In addition to taking away excuses for students to hex each other, it would spare them all from having to listen to the Sorting Song every year.

But as I muse on this, Neville is still on fire. The good-guy crowd is horrified and even Harry nearly breaks his heroic immobility, but then three things happen almost simultaneously to save him.

1. Hundreds of good-guy fighters arrive at the boundaries of the school and start running toward the castle, yelling battle cries.
2. Grawp appears, looking for Hagrid and starts fighting with the two giants.
3. The centaurs attack the Death Eaters for no apparent reason, but perhaps because of all that insulting that went on a few minutes earlier. Or maybe the planets got into alignment. Who knows? They’re centaurs.

Harry uses the resulting confusion to whip out his Invisibility Cloak and hide underneath it.

Neville uses the confusion to break free from the body-bind, throw the Hat off his head, pull out the Sword of Gryffindor, and cut off Nagini’s head.

Interesting contrast in heroic actions, don’t you think?

Okay, okay, Harry does cast a shield charm between Voldemort and Neville, but it doesn’t necessarily do much because Voldemort is too busy screaming in fury to lift his wand.

Meanwhile, lest anyone forget what’s truly important, Hagrid is yelling, “Where’s Harry?”

Chaos reigned. The centaurs are scattering Death Eaters. People are running around trying to keep from being trampled by the giants. And the reinforcements are still thundering every closer to the battle.

How far away are those school boundaries anyway? I’m flashing back to Lancelot storming the castle in The Holy Grail.

Huh. There are thestrals and Buckbeak attack the giants—scratching at their eyes, while Grawp punches them. I totally missed that on the first read.

Harry continues to jinx and curse the Death Eaters from under his Cloak. Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Harry!

All the wizards, defenders and Death Eaters, are forced into the castle, although I’m not sure by what. Harry is carried along with the rest of the crowd, and Voldemort backs into the Great Hall, firing curses right and left and shouting orders.

I just realized something: One or two hours ago, the Great Hall was where all the bodies were being put—and the wounded were being treated. If everyone is now crowding in there, they ought to be tripping over bodies right and left.

Harry sees Charlie Weasley (what took him so long?) and Horace Slughorn who appear leading the families and friends of every Hogwarts student who had remained to fight, along with the shopkeepers and homeowners of Hogsmeade.

No mention of Slytherin students in that bunch as far as I can see. Nor any mention of their families and friends, since they didn’t remain to fight in the first place.

And, I do have to ask, what took these reinforcements so long? Let’s look at the time-line. The evacuation started just after Voldemort gave people an hour to hand over Harry Potter (the first time). Then there was a battle that must have lasted at least an hour. Then they had a respite, which lasted another hour. Then Harry got killed and came back and got bounced up and down for a bit, and then the Death Eaters marched over to the castle. And the Voldemort gave a big long speech, and Neville defied him… we’re talking about four hours here, aren’t we?

Now, I can see that it might have taken Slughorn all that time to rouse the families and friends. But the shopkeepers and homeowners? They were in Hogsmeade already! They must have heard that Caterwauling Charm earlier in the evening. They must have noticed the commotion of several hundred students being evacuated through the Hog’s Head—not to mention the Death Eaters gathering and organizing their troops.

What took those people four hours to show up for the battle?

We also see three centaurs—coincidentally the three centaurs that Harry knows by name—clattering through the Hall shooting arrows at Death Eaters. And the house-elves, led by Kreacher, show up wielding knives and kitchen utensils.

I keep hearing about how the elves display their formidable elf magic in this battle, but I don’t see them doing any magic. What they are doing is stabbing and biting people in the ankles. It seems effective, like the mice in Prince Caspian, but magic? Not so much.

Also? What took them so long? The Death Eaters invaded the castle during the first part of the battle. Maybe the elves were enjoying their monthly half an evening off.

Harry notices that the Death Elaters are being trounced, but it’s not over yet, because the Snake-faced Guy has yet to die. Voldmort is in the middle of the Great Hall, smiting all within reach.

We get a few rushed Death Eater deaths. George and Lee Jordon get Yaxley. Flitwick fells Dolohov. Hagrid throws Walden McNair (who was supposed to execute Buckbreak back in PoA) across the room. Ron and Neville together kill Fenrir. I think. That guy never seems to die.

Geez Percy is still fighting Thickness, along with Arthur. It’s been like two hours now. I think I’m going to have to accept the idea that Percy is just not a very good duelist.

And, with all the rest, Lucius and Narcissa are running around looking for Draco. Not even, Harry notes, trying to fight. Of course not, Harry. What are they supposed to fight with? Toothpicks? Neither of them has a wand!

Voldmort is fighting McGonagall, Slughorn, and Flitwick at once. Does this mean that Sprout is dead? Or just digging up more plants to throw at people?

Bellatrix is fighting Hermione, Luna, and Ginny. I know Ginny is super powerful, but it seems like even together the three of them wouldn’t be a match for Bellatrix.

A killing curse nearly hits Ginny. (It comes within an inch of hitting her!) Harry runs towards the group, but is pushed out of the way (even though he’s invisible) by Molly, who shouts “NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!” before taking Bellatrix on by herself.

I don’t have a big problem with Molly Weasley taking on Bellatrix. I don’t have a big problem with her winning. I have a bit of problem with how long it takes, because it does go on and on. But I do have a major problem in that it rips off the Aliens climax, which is just too classic a moment to steal. Why not just have Snape cut off Harry’s hand at the end of HBP and tell him, “I am your father!”

(Come to think of it, that almost is the climax of their duel. Instead of “your father” it’s “the Half-Blood Prince” and instead of cutting off his hand, it’s whipping him around a little. But you know, Snape could have cut off Harry’s hand. With Sectemsempra!)

Also, it’s a little contrived, this duel between Molly and Bellatrix, because Molly tells Bellatrix that she’ll “never—touch—our—children—again!” I think Molly is confusing Bellatrix with Fenrir. Bellatrix never made any point of hurting children. She wasn’t adverse to it, but she was known for torturing and killing parents.

And trying to get some sugar from Voldemort.

So, beyond the obvious symbolism of having the most motherly character in the series duel a barren, sex-starved vamp, there’s no real feeling of payoff.

Oh well, moving on. By this time, the only people fighting are Molly and Bellatrix, and Voldemort against the three Heads of Houses. Everyone else is crowded back against the walls, watching the fun. George and Lee are probably taking bets.

Harry? He’s just standing there like an idiot under his Cloak until Bellatrix gets killed and Voldemort gets so mad that the fury explodes out of him, sending the Professors flying backwards. Wow. Uncontrolled magic at his age.

Voldmort raises his wand and points it at Molly. While everyone in the hall just stands around watching. La, la, la. Harry, however, casts a huge Shield Charm, and takes off his Cloak at last. At last. Even the author thinks it’s about time he stopped hiding.

The crowd cries out in joy, then falls silent in fear as Harry and Voldemort begin to circle each other. They will do this for six pages. Six pages.

Page 1: Harry tells the crowd not to help out. (They weren’t anyway) Voldemort taunts Harry by saying he always uses other people to shield him and survived through accidents. Harry replies, “Uh-uh. I totally survived through the opposite of accidents! Including my mother dying!”

Then Harry tells Voldemort that he meant Voldemort to kill him, and yet survived. Which was totally what Lily did—only a hundred times more powerful, because Harry died to save hundreds of people (or dozens—hard to tell with wizard numbers), while Lily died to save only one.

So, does that mean whoever killed Lupin couldn’t kill anyone else ever? Because Lupin totally died to protect people. Same with Fred and Colin. And maybe Tonks. I still think she was just trying to keep Lupin from snogging Snape.

Page 2: Harry offers to tell Voldemort about his mistakes, so that Voldemort won’t make them in the future. Isn’t that sweet of Harry?

“Not love again,” Voldemort jeers. “Or have you found a more powerful weapon?”

“Both,” Harry says.

Then they fight for a bit about whether Dumbledore was weak or clever.

Page 3: Voldemort claims that he brought about Dumbledore’s death. Harry begs to differ. He tells Voldemort that Dumbledore arranged it all, and that Severus Snape was still in love with Lily Potter. The proof is in the Patronus, which was a doe, just like Lily’s. Which Harry has no way of knowing—even if it’s true.

Voldemort’s nostils flare like crazy at the thought of Snape still loving Lily—after he went to all that trouble to set Snape up with Georgina Mulciber?

“He desired her, that is all. But when she was gone, he agreed that there were other women, of purer blood, worthier of him—“

I think that’s something we can all agree with. Not the purer blood part—but I think we all wish that Snape had done a bit more dating, no?

Page 4: Harry tells Voldemort that Snape was lying about getting over Lily, and that Dumbledore was already dying when Snape killed him. So there!

Voldemort really cracks up at that, because now he’s figured out Dumbledore’s secret plan. Aha! Dumbledore, he figures, intended to leave big woobie Snape the Elder Wand all along. He planned it so that Snape would become Master of the Wand. But Voldemort foiled all that by killing Snape!

Nope, think again, Harry continues to taunt. And by the way, maybe you should start being a little remorseful. Because that’s your very last chance.

Yeah, because Voldemort only had half the plan. The half where Snape became the Master of the Wand. He doesn’t realize that Dumbledore’s real plan was for Voldemort to waste time tracking down the Elder Wand and then kill Snape to get it. And then use the super powerful wand to kill Harry!

You’re such a pawn, Voldemort!

Voldemort is terribly shocked by Harry’s suggestion of remorse. I’m sort of confused myself, but I guess Harry’s winding him up before the final twist. And, you know, it’s a Christian thing to pretend like Voldemort has a chance to mend his soul. But, as others have pointed out, six of his eight soul pieces are destroyed. Unless he fills in the holes with someone else’s spare soul bits, he’s out of luck.

Page 5: Harry tells Voldemort that he was mistaken about Dumbledore’s plan. That the plan all along was for the power of the wand to be broken because Snape was killing Dumbledore with Dumbledore’s consent. So, he wasn’t defeating Dumbledore at all.

First: This directly contradicts what Dumbledore told Harry in the previous chapter. So, either Dumbledore was lying, or he was a figment of Harry’s imagination. A lying figment of Harry’s imagination. Or JKR plain forgot what she wrote.

Second: How does a friggin’ wand know that Snape was performing euthanasia and not murder? And why does it care?

But, Voldemort says, I stole the wand from Dumbledore’s tomb! That makes it mine!

Harry then quotes Ollivander: The wand chooses its master. Which means that any rule about taking a wand, stealing a wand, murdering the owner… that’s all moot. If a wand wants to have a new master, it will. And since the wand is a piece of wood, its qualifications for a master are unknowable.

Heck, maybe Parvati Patil is the Master of the Wand. Why not?

But no. Harry’s figured it out. The real Master of the Elder Wand was…

Page 6: Draco Malfoy! This twist so totally justifies Draco’s existence that we don’t need anything else. Like for him to ever make a decision about being pro- or anti-Voldemort.

I wonder… was Dumbledore’s talk to Draco on the tower an attempt to prevent Draco from truly mastering the Wand? Maybe Dumbledore was hoping to get it back before he died.

Then Harry delivers the final twist by announcing that he grabbed Draco’s hawthorn wand, and thus, by proxy, became the true Master of the Elder Wand. Maybe.

Let’s hope so, because otherwise Draco would only have another fifteen minutes to live. Or fifteen hours, depending on how long this circling business goes on.

Having given the final twist, it’s time for the sun to rise and reflect on both Harry and Voldemort’s faces at the same time. It never ceases to amaze me how heaven and earth always align to provide Harry with the most dramatic lighting possible.

Harry and Voldemort simultaneously cast their spells. Voldemort casts the Unforgivable (and Ineffective) Avada Kadavra. Harry casts the morally superior Expelliarmus.

And a random event several weeks ago determines the outcome—which is that Harry is the Master of the Elder Wand and it refuses to kill him on that account. Which is, you know, utter bull, because it never refused to kill its Master before this.

But anyway, Voldemort’s dead and Harry has two wands. After a moment of stunned silence, the Great Hall erupts in cheers. At least it wasn’t a slow clap.

Harry’s friends run to hug him in hierarchical order, with Ron and Hermione getting dibs, followed by Neville, Ginny, and Luna. Then the Weasleys and Hagrid, then Kingsley and all Heads of Houses, except Slughorn (he’s a Slytherin, he doesn’t count). Then “hundreds” of people all pressing in to touch him. The Messiah.

Hehe. And now follows a period in which Harry is forced to listen to people’s “outpourings of jubilation and mourning, of grief and celebration.” What is he thinking about? His inner narrator is whining about how he hasn’t gotten any sleep, and why isn’t anyone thinking about his needs?

The morning wears on. They get news about how things are going back to normal in the wizarding world. Kingsley is named temporary Minister of Magic by authorial fiat.

The body of Voldemort is put into its own room so it won’t give cooties to the other corpses. And we get a count of the dead. Fifty-four good guys. We don’t get a count of the dead Death Eaters.

Everyone left alive is sitting in the Great Hall, symbolically mixed up among the House tables—even centaurs and elves. Enjoy it non-human races, tomorrow it’s back to the kitchens and forest!

Naturally, Luna is the only person in the entire place who knows what Harry is feeling. She provides a distraction so that he can slip on that Invisibility Cloak and disappear.

As he leaves, Harry sees Ginny and decides he can start on that perfect soul mate relationship later. Much later.

We see a glance of Neville surrounded by admiring girls—what’s the use of having a big-ass sword if you don’t get a little ass to go with it?

And we see the Malfoy huddled together, hoping that no one throws pudding at them.

Harry gathers up Ron and Hermione and they go up stairs which are covered in bloodstains. Even Peeves cannot lift Harry’s emo mood as the pain of losing Fred, Tonks, and Lupin pierces him with every step.

Harry recaps all the action from the last three chapters for Ron and Hermione as they express shock and amazement and I slowly die inside because I’m still not done with this chapter.

Harry gets into the Headmaster’s office and all the portraits burst into applause. Harry doesn’t resent these accolades—probably because they aren’t coming from real people who might start talking to him or something.

Phineas Nigellus insists that Slytherin did its part in this triumph, but that’s only a Slytherin plot to confuse the readers into forgetting what actually took place, which was that no Slytherins fought for Hogwarts on that night.

And Dumbledore is crying tears of pride and joy and Harry is basking in it. Then Harry raises his hand and the portraits all fall silent, eagerly awaiting his every word. What, is Harry the Pope now? Or has he now achieved mastery of the Fourth and previously unknown Hallows—he is Master of the Portraits!

Harry tells Dumbledore that he dropped the stone in the forest and will never go looking for it again. Dumbledore approves, although the other portraits look confused and curious. So… I guess the portraits never knew about the Deathly Hallows either.

Harry says he’s going to keep the Cloak and again Dumbledore approves of the idea.

Then Harry holds up the Elder Wand and tells Dumbledore that he doesn’t want it. Ron thinks that Harry’s insane not to want a killer wand. But Harry is adamant about preferring his own phoenix feather and holly wood wand. He uses the Elder Wand to repair his old one and tells Dumbledore that he’s putting it back where it came from (Dumbledore's tomb, I presume).

Ron still thinks it’s a bad idea and looks at the wand with longing, but Hermione approves. And she’s the next best thing to Dumbledore, right?

Of course, there’s really nothing to prevent Ron from getting the jump on Harry in a friendly duel and then breaking into the tomb to get the Elder Wand in the future. I’d watch my back, Harry.

Oh, and this occurred to me a few chapters ago: By the time Harry got the Elder Wand, he had already disposed of the Stone. He never possessed all three Hallows at the same time. So, Harry never really was the Master of Death at all.

And finally, Harry reflects that he’s had enough trouble for a lifetime and all he really wants is a place to sleep and a slave to bring him a sandwich. I’ll bet that’s exactly what Jesus said, too, when he finally got up to Heaven for the last time.

Fan Service:
Hagrid carrying dead!Harry is a shoutout to Hagrid carrying baby!Harry.
Neville gets to kill the snake! With a big-ass sword!
Molly fans rejoice as she takes out #2 Big Bad Bellatrix.
Harry kills Voldemort!

Fan Slappage:
Neville doesn’t get to kill Bellatrix.
Lupin doesn’t get to kill Fenrir.
Hermione doesn’t get to kill Lucius or have hot hate sex with him.
Ron doesn’t get to kill Draco.
Ginny doesn’t get to do anything.
The “good” Slytherins turned out to be non-existent.
Wandlore. The ultimate FU to fans.
No elves were freed in the creation of this book.

DVD Extras:

INT: NIGHT -- ENTRANCE HALL OUTSIDE GREAT HALL, HOGWARTS

A crowd of students and teachers are battling Death Eaters for the territory. Chaos reigns.

Draco Malfoy, wandless, hovers in the shadows, trying to dodge spells, fighters, stampeding desks, and flying mandrakes. He finds a niche, formerly occupied by a suit of armor and presses himself into it.

Across the hall, fifteen-year-old ASTORIA GREENGRASS drifts down the stairs. With blonde hair, bare feet, and flowing nightdress, she looks as pale and weightless as a ghost. Through some miracle, she has made it halfway down the stairs without harm, although a marble bust behind her explodes as a curse hits it. She gazes at the dozens of dueling pairs with puzzlement, but without concern.

DRACO
(calling out) Star? Star!

ASTORIA
(blinking) Draco Malfoy? What are you doing here?

DRACO
Over here!

He darts out desperately, runs in a serpentine pattern through the crowd and grabs her by the arm.

ASTORIA
(whispering confidentially) I’m having the strangest dream. I think the Gryffindors put something the pumpkin juice again. Madam Pomfrey told me to sleep it off.

DRACO
Uh-huh.

He drapes his black cloak around her, covering up her conspicuously light-catching hair and clothing.

He guides her back to the relative safety of the niche, dodging jets of red and green light.

ASTORIA
But I had nightmares. I dreamt I was alone… (She yawns.) Alone in the castle, because Professor McGonagall had accidentally transfigured Professor Flitwick into a basilisk…

The red light of a stunning curse hits her, and she glows crimson for a split-second. Then, she drops into a dead weight. Draco curses, scoops her up and drags her the last few feet.

He collapses into the niche, pulling her close to avoid the trampling feet of the centaurs.

DRACO
Star! Astoria! Wake up!

He slaps her gently on the cheek. Her eyes flutter open and she gives a piercing scream. Draco claps his hand over her mouth.

DRACO
Shhh!

ASTORIA
(whispering) What’s going on?

DRACO
Death Eaters. Invading.

ASTORIA
Where’s Daphne? Where’s my sister?

DRACO
She left with everyone--why didn’t you leave?

ASTORIA
I didn’t know. I was in the Hospital Wing.

They make themselves small as the crowd pushes past them on its way into the Great Hall. Draco pulls a drape of the cloak over his own head. It isn’t an invisibility cloak, but in the shadows it might as well be.

Suddenly the tumult is gone. The shouts and hurly-burly have moved into the Great Hall. Draco pulls down the cloak and their heads emerge, blinking and craning about in confusion.

DRACO
Stay here.

He stands up and swings carefully out from the niche, looking through the doorway into the Great Hall.

DRACO
(reporting)
I think it’s winding down.

From the Great Hall, we hear a sudden shout:

MOLLY WEASLEY (Off-screen)
NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!

DRACO
It’s just Aunt Bellatrix and… You-Know-Who fighting now.

He draws back suddenly.

ASTORIA
What is it?

DRACO
(his face white)
My aunt just died.

ASTORIA
Oh, Draco. I’m sorry.

He turns to look into the Hall again.

DRACO
Now it’s just… Him. And Potter.

ASTORIA
Potter? Harry Potter? What’s he doing here?

DRACO
He’s back. I think—I think he came to kill the Dark Lord.

ASTORIA
But you can’t kill Him.

DRACO
Maybe he can.

Astoria stands up and creeps out to look around Draco’s shoulder.

ASTORIA
What are they doing?

DRACO
Circling. And… talking, I guess.

They watch for a moment in silence. Finally:

ASTORIA
This is taking a long time.

DRACO
Yeah.

DISSOLVE TO:

The same, some time later. Draco and Astoria are still watching the action through the doorway. They are a bit more relaxed, leaning against each other.

ASTORIA
But won’t you be disappointed? I thought your family was pretty high up in the organization.

DRACO
It’s not what it’s cracked up to be.

ASTORIA
(her brow furrowed:) I don’t see the Headmaster. You don’t suppose…

Draco abruptly turns away from the doorway. Astoria follows him, her face concerned.

ASTORIA
…Draco?

DRACO
(shortly) I don’t know.

They move over to a banquet table that has somehow appeared, heaped with food. They exchange incredulous looks.

ASTORIA
Snacks? I suppose the elves wanted to keep busy.

Draco nods. He hands her a plate.

DISSOLVE TO:

Even later. Draco and Astoria are sitting in their niche, finishing up their food. Other people have drifted into the room and sit scattered around it, plates in their hands. One student is playing a guitar.

Lee Jordan stands in the doorway where Draco and Astoria were standing previously. He is giving a running commentary.

LEE
Now it looks like Potter has said something really surprising. You-Know-Poo is looking very taken aback…

DRACO
(leaning his head back)
He always looks like that. It’s the eyebrows. Or lack of them.

Astoria rests her head on Draco’s shoulder. Draco drapes his arm around her. They shift to a more comfortable fit.

ASTORIA
(sleepily)
Do you think they’ll ever finish?

DRACO
Maybe not. Maybe they’ll just keep circling around and around forever.

ASTORIA
Going to make it hard for meals.

DRACO
We should build a platform for them. Then everyone can watch the action. Like dinner theater.

ASTORIA
But the same play… over and over again.

She yawns and closes her eyes. Draco glances down sideways at her, then closes his eyes as well.

DRACO
Wake us when it’s over, Jordan.

LEE
…and now Snakeface is raising up his wand! Aaaand… now he’s bringing it down again… and now they’re talking again…

FADE OUT

Comments

[mmmarcusz.livejournal.com]

But Harry didn't save Pettigrew out of "love" or compassion, he did it because he didn't want Sirius or Lupin to be murderers.

[madderbrad.livejournal.com]

Good point! I think Semprini looked at it more from an ethical point of view rather than a cold balance between magical debts.

Here's one of the paragraphs that addresses Harry's feelings on the matter, from chapter 1 of "HP and the Antiquity Link" by Semprini, on fanfiction.net, here (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5238750/1/Harry_Potter_and_the_Antiquity_Link), where Harry reads out his intended response in a letter to Ron:

“Okay, here it is. ‘Narcissa—‘ She’ll be really ticked that I just use her first name—‘I acknowledge receiving your owl, and the fact that you saved my life. I have not forgotten that. I also have not forgotten that you didn’t save me until you knew that Draco was back in the castle, making it clear that your motivation was his safety. If your intention was to help bring down Voldemort, you wouldn’t have asked me that first. So, let’s not pretend that I owe you anything. I don’t. If anything, you owe me; I saved Draco’s life in the castle before going to the forest, and with no ulterior motive. So if you want to talk to me, you should look at me as an equal, not as a house-elf that you can order around. Sincerely, Harry Potter.” With a grin, Harry added, “I got the house-elf idea from you.”