Say "Yay!" to broadband!!!1

[jollityfarm.livejournal.com]

After too long, I now have Groovy Broadband and can give you Chapter 19. Chapter 20 to follow as soon as possible.

*Ron is still in the hospital wing with the poisoning. Sad that the only time his birthday has been acknowledged in canon, this happens to him. That's what you get for turning seventeen when Harry didn't, ginger-bollocks.

*We must be aware that Fred and George's (shared!) gift is large. Doubtless expensive and probably - knowing them - quite horrible too.

*Were they thinking of buying Zonko's for Ron? I doubt it, these capitalist tools of the Man probably wouldn't dream of being so generous with their gifts. Anyway, the place is all boarded up. Shed a tear for the magical folk who can't live without things that piss people off or scare the shit out of their enemies ("enemies" here defined as "anyone who looks at you funny")

*It was indeed lucky that bezoars were so expertly foreshadowed, or Harry would have to not only watch as his mate perished from a poisoning, but would have to admit that he'd been thusly far bluffing and blagging his way through Potions, without actually learning anything. Slughorn would probably have wasted away in anguish at the news *faketear*

*Hermione has been keeping vigil beside Ron's bed, although their will-they-who-cares relationship will be stretched out for who knows how many pages of dreary tripe. If I wanted to listen in on other people's stupid disagreements, I'd have stayed at home all this time.

*The poisoner didn't know Slughorn as well as Hermione does (speaking as though she has "a bad head cold" too), and therefore must be Draco. The fact that it was Draco doesn't make it any less stupid.

*It might have been a luckier day for the Weasleys if Ron had been sorted elsewhere and made friends with someone much less dangerous. Then he wouldn't keep getting Harry's leftover shit. Perhaps this mode of thinking makes me a Slytherin (and therefore a genuine card-carrying racist Nazi, oh yes!) or something. Just as well Ron also gets residual help from all the people desparately protecting Harry, I guess.

*According to Hagrid, it's always been a risk sending kids to Hogwarts. Quite possibly one of the more logical things he's said (perhaps on a par with "Better out than in") although an almost hillarious understatement. Still, he'd be in a decent position to be an authority on the risk of Hogwarts.

*Attempted murder is a worrying thing. Sucessful murder, ie, when Cedric got offed, causes no comment. People might like to explain that this was because of Fudge and his evil band of jobsworths trying to discredit Harry. Still, it was hardly "different" in any real way.

*According to Hagrid, Snape had agreed to do something and Dumbledore had been nagging him about it. This will cause much wank until the end of the series and quite possibly beyond. In book seven we will either find out that (a)Dumbledore knows about the whole thing with the oath and Bellatrix and was quite possibly dying anyway, or (b)that Dumbledore was talking about something else, but was Betrayed. Place your bets...any time you like. Me, I still hope he escapes (perhaps with Draco in tow), never to be seen by our intrepid heroes again, with nary a word of apology to anyone. Can't help but admire that. Alas, he will probably die, hopefully not in some crappy way, where he chokes out some miserable words about how sorry he is etc. I'd like his last words to be something more like "fuck you!". But I digress.

*Hagrid calls Filch a "sneaking Squib". This is not any sort of prejudice, since it came out of Hagrid's face. If any dark-hat said such a thing, we'd hear nothing but "racism!!!1" from here to the end of Hell. All prejudice is racism, unless it's against Filch :(

*I do wonder why Hogwarts keeps Peeves around. I daresay Dumbledore could have banished him - so really, what's the point? Ask Fleur, she'll tell you. Mind you, the levels of humour round that way probably indicate that Dumbledore thinks Peeves is hillarious. He could work for Fred and George in Hogsmeade after the defeat of Voldemort. People would flock because they're morons.

*Gossip about Harry goes around in seconds flat. Gossip about Ron doesn't.

*"Perhaps Dumbledore did not think it right to confirm suspicions about his staff to sixteen-year-olds..." Well, sorry to hear that. Must smart to be brought down to the level of ordinary students.

*Gryffindors are anxious to see Zacharias Smith punished some more for being no more biased against Gryffindor than the irritating Lee Jorndan was against everyone else. Didn't Ginny already crash him to bits first time around? Maybe he needs to suffer permanent damage! That'll learn him! Obviously, the Gryffindors are not in any way bad sports.

*Harry "obsessed with Draco Malfoy". Well, who isn't?

*McLaggen and Lavender are both following Harry about and being annoying to him. Why can they not see the burdens he bears? Don't they know he has to spend time sitting in a toilet cubicle studying the places where Draco might be?

*Harry doesn't like McLaggen because he tries to tell everyone what to do. Blast him! That's your job, isn't it, Harry?

*Draco is acting suspiciously with two girls. Gasp! Someone, somewhere, is writing a threesome between Draco and turned-into-girls Crabbe and Goyle. Even if only in their head.

*More boring Quidditch with Luna commenting. I personally find Luna's commentary embarassing, but there you go.

*Anyway, Harry gets hit with a Bludger and wakes up in hospital. One of the first things he thinks of is how he's missed knowing where Draco is for several hours.

*It is also McLaggen's fault, although he is still not so important as Draco. The world continues to spin etc

*Harry decides to call Kreacher to help him tail Draco. He gets Dobby as well, who is sycophantically defending Harry with a bitey-fight. Despite the fact that Dobby is supposedly "free", he seems to interpret this to mean that he is free to hero-worship Harry. As others have said, Kreacher does indeed seem more dignified here. Dobby vows to commit suicide if he doesn't live up to Harry's expectations. If Elves were sorted, there'd only be one place for him.

Comments

[j-lunatic.livejournal.com]

*Gryffindors are anxious to see Zacharias Smith punished some more for being no more biased against Gryffindor than the irritating Lee Jorndan was against everyone else. Didn't Ginny already crash him to bits first time around? Maybe he needs to suffer permanent damage! That'll learn him! Obviously, the Gryffindors are not in any way bad sports.

I do hope that in Book Seven, the Heirs of Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Gryffindor are Zacharias Smith, Marietta Edgecombe, and Cormac McLaggan, and when the Trio approaches them for help with the Horcruxes they answer "And why should I help you?"

[spiffariffic.livejournal.com]

That's what I figured would happen with Zacharias (the Hepzibah clue is just too blatant... which makes me happy, since I love Zacharias), but I hadn't considered Marietta or McClaggan. That would really be awesome, though.

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

If JKR ever does that, I'll apologise for every mean thing I ever said about her. Except calling her fat, I stand by that.
But seriously, yes! I want Book Seven to be where they can't resolve anything with violence but charm and kindness, and go around grunting impotently for the first 300 pages because of it.

[jollityfarm.livejournal.com]

I imagine Harry dying inside as he realises there are people with accolades that he will never have. He'd probably think this if they were his friends, but to have them be "bad" people who don't worship his every word - well! He might never recover :)