HBP Chapter Thirteen

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

*I sense another time-out coming for a Pensieve trip.

*The school is buzzing about Katie, who has been removed to St. Mungo’s. I love that nobody ever seems upset that there’s no actual investigation into this with any updates or anything like that. An unknown assassin targeting students seems unremarkable on the rumor mill. But then remember this is a school where the most popular boy jock is going out with the most popular girl jock is far more interesting than the most popular boy exsanguinating a classmate.

*Not that I can talk when the headlines in my national press are currently dominated by Brangelina’s baby.

*Ron and Hermione are now feigning deafness whenever Harry brings up his "Malfoy is a Death Eater" theory. You’d pretty much have to be deaf to not see that this theory isn’t all that illogical even from their pov.

*What’s also odd is that Ron and Hermione—Hermione especially—have no interest in alternate theories or indeed the case itself.

*Harry’s indignant that Snape was the one to cure Katie Bell. He probably got his Snape cooties all over her!

*Harry identifies Phineas as Sirius’ great great grandfather—is he Draco’s great great grandfather too? I mention this because I’ll bet when/if this information comes up Harry will be completely shocked by it.

*DD assures Harry that Mundungus is now afraid of facing him. Mundungus was allowed to steal whatever the hell he wanted from Grimmauld Place when he was stealing from the Blacks—Phineas is still the only person who cares about that. But this book Dumbledore’s not going to miss a chance to show he’s on Harry’s side. Yeah, he’s all over Mundungus. Sure.

*Dumbledore says he’ll take appropriate measures to investigate who murdered Katie. Not that anyone will hold it against him if they never turn up anything. Katie’s not one of those awful Purebloods whose parents might come to the school demanding answers.

*Harry feels a bit resentful—color me shocked! If his lessons are so important, why are they so far apart? Gee Harry, you think maybe you’re supposed to be thinking about the last lesson on your own in between?

*Why does Dumbledore even call them lessons, anyway? Aren’t they more like…information sessions? Just drawn out interminably through use of the Pensieve?

*Harry’s indignant at Caractarus Burke cheating Merope for her necklace. You know, the kind of thing that would be clever and cute if it had been Lucius Malfoy selling the necklace to the Twins.

*Dumbledore explains that Merope couldn’t use magic because she either didn’t want to be a witch anymore or her powers were sapped by despair, which can happen to witches in love. I don’t see why we need a rather disappointing subplot with Tonks to prove this, but apparently we do. The guy you’ve been enslaving for months leaves you? The guy you like doesn’t want to marry you? Poof! There go your powers. If you’re a girl.

*Harry is indignant that Merope didn’t save herself for her son. Dumbledore asks if he feels sorry for Lord Voldemort. Haha! That’s funny Albus. Like Harry would care. He’s just judging Merope.

*Dumbledore asks Harry not to judge Merope too harshly, since after all she never had his mother’s courage. Well, jeez, that explains it. I’m amazed she managed to put her clothes on in the morning without the all-important courage. That’s why we need Gryffindor to lead us!

*Younger!Albus has auburn hair, so he must be pretty cool.

*Also he’s dressed in plum velvet and garish taste in clothing is a sign of being a good person. (In the books, that is. Fandom continues to try to hang tacky ruffles on the Malfoys and dress the Weasleys in vintage chic.)

*Mrs. Cole may have seen a lot of horrors running a home for orphans in a poor section of London, but faced with a man in purple she can barely put two words together.

*Tom’s name’s been down for Hogwarts since his birth, so yeah, it’s written by a magic quill. A magic quill that still manages to create a pretty homogeneous student body and a serving class with funny accents.

*Mrs. Cole is an inconveniently sharp woman, meaning that she asks a question or two before turning over a pretty boy orphan to a strange man dressed like a pimp.

*So Dumbledore zaps the woman’s brain to make it easier. Gee, that doesn’t disturb me at all. It’s good to know wizards can do stuff like that when they want a child for themselves.

*One wonders why Dumbledore feels the need to also get Mrs. Cole drunk, having already addled her mind. Sadly, I think in his mind he feels like this makes it somehow less manipulative—she chose to get sloshed, she deserved it!

*Mrs. Cole tells how one night Merope Gaunt showed up, gave birth, and died an hour later. Then she had to clear off quick because there was a long line of other destitute Victorian women waiting to give birth to orphans to star in their own nineteenth century novels.

*This story might be somewhat sad if it wasn’t lightened by Mrs. Cole’s alcoholism. Thank goodness for demon gin!

*Tom was a funny baby. Even as an infant he made bad choices.

*Dumbledore asks if Tom is a bully and Mrs. Cole says yes. Well, you can certainly see why he succeeded at Hogwarts, then.

*Mrs. Cole also explains that Tom’s showing signs of being a sociopath—luckily again he won’t stand out at Hogwarts.

*Mrs. Cole then wanders into that odd grey area of the HP books where some kind of sexual abuse is suggested by hinting at something dreadful happening when the two little children followed Tom into a cave, but if you bring it up the more hysterical fans would probably tell you you were sick. I admit it does add a nice little frisson to the proceedings!

*There was no trace of the Gaunts in Tom’s face. It’s all in his blood.

*I love Tom’s TELL THE TRUTH! Mantra, though I’m not yet sure what it means. One thing I do know is he’ll never get his wish from Dumbledore, who follows the Obi-Wan “from a certain point of view” method of truth-telling.

*Dumbledore’s all comforting to Tom telling him that he’s not mad, he’s just a magician. The budding signs of sociopathy will easily be fixed through the ability to perform violent magic, I’m sure.

*Tom looks fevered. Awww, he’s like little Draco the Nutter.

*Hee. I kind of love little Tom’s switch from psycho to polite schoolboy. I’m sure we’re supposed to think Dumbledore’s super smart for seeing through this act, though of course a Muggle psychiatrist would probably be a lot better at it.

*Err, in fact the Muggles may have been in general more hip to Tom’s true evil nature had he stayed in that world.

*Okay, so Tom, the budding sociopath who’s already killed animals and attacked children, demands a demonstration of Dumbledore’s magic and Dumbledore obliges by...setting afire a wardrobe? Can anyone explain what the man’s thinking here? A simple levitation spell wouldn’t do, he’s got to tempt him with arson?

*Dumbledore then warns Tom that thieving is not tolerated at Hogwarts under the previous headmaster’s reign. In his own years as headmaster Luna Lovegood’s putting up notices for the return of her stolen possessions in the corridors.

*Luckily I’m sure tormenting other students was considered all in good fun even then, so Tom will still be able to indulge in some of his favorite hobbies.

*In fact, if Tom Riddle and Fred and George had been at school at the same time, we’d probably be reading about Voldewarts and the two houses of Slytheriddle, Weasleydor.

*Dumbledore continues to lecture Tom on the law and order that supposedly governs at Hogwarts, so he won’t be able to torture other students. Erm, so am I to assume it was Tom who introduced the current policy of "Gryffindors have their reasons?"

*Dumbledore tells Tom as a wizard he must abide by their laws. He hasn’t yet told him wizard laws bend like silly putty, if you know the right people.

*There’s a fund at Hogwarts for kids who need to buy robes and things, a fund I suspect was just made up this second since Ron Weasley goes through an entire year with no wand, but whatever.

*Harry thinks Dumbledore will insist on accompanying Tom to Diagon Alley and is surprised when he doesn’t. I’m not sure why Harry’s surprised. When’s Dumbledore ever been particularly responsible about kids?

*Tom somehow knows that being a Parseltongue is the strangest power he has. I guess the knowledge is carried in his blood.

*Dumbledore points out that Tom Riddle used the word "special" to describe the fact he could do magic, contrasting him to the wonderfully humble Harry who could not believe he was a wizard. Well, we can see which one of these boys belongs in stinking Slytherin! Only villains think they’re above other people. Heroes know they’re above other people and shoulder the responsibility nobly.

*Dumbledore says he intended to keep an eye on Tom, which he would have done anyway, being that Tom was alone and friendless. Either Dumbledore’s stopped keeping watch over the alone and friendless by the present day, or else "keeping watch" means "watching kids be alone and friendless without doing anything to interfere."

*So it’s interesting and ominous that Tom had some control over his powers and used them. You mean like turning a teddy into a spider as a toddler? Or trying to make an Unbreakable Vow? That kind of interesting and ominous control at a young age?

*Dumbledore also reminds Harry of Tom saying he could hurt others if he wanted to…err…so he’s a lot like our band of hero wizards then?

*Dumbledore mentions Parseltongue is an ability associated with the Dark Arts, but as "we" know it also exists amongst the great and good. Oh my god, does he mean Harry? Laying on a little thick even for you, Albus, aren’t you?

*"Time is making fools of us again," says Dumbledore, having another one of his little hiccups of sounding really gay in the fourth grade definition of the word.

*Tom Riddle also has a magpie-like tendency, so he can’t be all bad. Magpie-like is a lot better than serial-killer like.

*Heh. Wouldn’t it be cool if instead of making horcruxes out of stuff like rings and cups they were made out of, like, body parts of his victims?

*Again, all this stuff could probably just be told to Harry, perhaps with more focus and explanation. I know Dumbledore’s pretending to "teach" so he wants to be all proud when Harry makes a connection or sees where all this is going, but a straight profiling might be more effective.





IITS
Setting a wardrobe on fire. Just for dramatics? WTF?

Designated hero
Should I be worried by the fact that magical talent and conduct disorder share so many of the same symptoms?

Informed Attributes
From listening to Dumbledore talk one would almost think he was a responsible headmaster instead of whatever the hell he really is.

Misdirected Answering
Sadly, this is probably my favorite Tom Riddle flashback and yet it still just kind of stops the plot dead without any real payoff. The basic idea seems to be: look, here’s Tom still evil, but smaller. I guess it could come into play in the next book if Harry has to do anything psychological with Tom, but Harry doesn’t seem to have much skill for that sort of thing. All these flashbacks could be told straight out in one sitting.

Final score: 4

I almost went for the James Bond exposition score, but I think a true Villain Exposition speech would have been less tedious.

Slytherin Liquid Count: 2

Yes, we’re back to Slytherin again and that water level rises accordingly! Dumbledore and Harry dip into the pensieve, and Dumbledore gets Mrs. Cole so pickled on gin she’s all but drooling over her desk.

Comments

[jollityfarm.livejournal.com]

I should be doing my update, but, er, the h8memes have been distracting me. An' stuff *guilt*

An unknown assassin targeting students seems unremarkable on the rumor mill.

"It's okay, they're probably just after Harry again."

Not that I can talk when the headlines in my national press are currently dominated by Brangelina’s baby.

Headlines in this country are full of the World Cup and Wayne Rooney's foot. Oh, and Victoria Beckham's foot, yesterday. Only of interest to her, surely?

What’s also odd is that Ron and Hermione—Hermione especially—have no interest in alternate theories or indeed the case itself.

It makes it so much better if nobody else UNDERSTAAAAANDS *emosob*

is he Draco’s great great grandfather too?

Well, Narcissa is Sirius' cousin, which means that a parent of hers and a parent of Sirius's must be siblings. So Phinneus Nigellus might be Narcissa's great great grandfather too. Which would make him Draco's great great great grandfather. Who's got that Black family tree?

Dumbledore says he’ll take appropriate measures to investigate who murdered Katie.

Nearly murdered, I do believe. But anyway, what might these measures be? Giving them a stern look? Making a mental note of it and telling people afterwards "Yes, I knew it was him all along"?

You know, the kind of thing that would be clever and cute if it had been Lucius Malfoy selling the necklace to the Twins.

Although Lucius probably gives more of a crap about how much money he gets for stuff. Bless the space where his heart should be :)

Anyway, I have a tiny hope that the Twins will be done for selling weapons to Death Eaters. Be fun to see Harry cry "foul!" and have Molly weep as Percy has altogether too much fun relating their psychopathic tendencies to the audience. It'll be a shame we'll have to see it through Harry's eyes, with all the attending "Harry couldn't believe Percy would ever say such a thing. The twins had never intended to harm anyone with their light-hearted japes." nonsense.

her powers were sapped by despair, which can happen to witches in love.

I guess I can see people being unable to perform their normal activities due to depression, and I suppose having your husband leave you alone while you were pregnant might bring on such depression, especially in someone who didn't have anyone or anything else. I still think it's pathetic in Tonks, mind. And, as you say, never happens to blokes. Funny, that.

Harry is indignant that Merope didn’t save herself for her son.

People die in childbirth due to complications involving selfishness and cowardice. If they were decent and brave, they'd have stayed alive to be mothers almost as good as St. Lily the first.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Oh, and Victoria Beckham's foot, yesterday.

OMG WHAT HAPPENED TO VICTORIA BECKHAM'S FOOT???!!

Nearly murdered, I do believe.

Oops. Look, I can't be bothered to keep track of whether or not people who haven't done much for Harry are alive or dead.

But anyway, what might these measures be? Giving them a stern look? Making a mental note of it and telling people afterwards "Yes, I knew it was him all along"?

LOL! For the win!

Although Lucius probably gives more of a crap about how much money he gets for stuff. Bless the space where his heart should be :)

Yay! I am so hoping for a Twins-related disaster. *crosses fingers*

I guess I can see people being unable to perform their normal activities due to depression, and I suppose having your husband leave you alone while you were pregnant might bring on such depression, especially in someone who didn't have anyone or anything else.

Yeah, I have no problem with the concept--it's very dramatic and all. I just think the Tonks plot makes it really dumb.

People die in childbirth due to complications involving selfishness and cowardice. If they were decent and brave, they'd have stayed alive to be mothers almost as good as St. Lily the first.

And what about that Longbottom woman? She couldn't even stay sane for her kid. Jeez.

[kaskait.livejournal.com]

*Mrs. Cole then wanders into that odd grey area of the HP books where some kind of sexual abuse is suggested by hinting at something dreadful happening when the two little children followed Tom into a cave, but if you bring it up the more hysterical fans would probably tell you you were sick. I admit it does add a nice little frisson to the proceedings!

Yes. Because these are children's books...supposedly. Lately they are neither fish nor fowl. So we get strange little diddies like this sidenote story.

*Hee. I kind of love little Tom’s switch from psycho to polite schoolboy. I’m sure we’re supposed to think Dumbledore’s super smart for seeing through this act, though of course a Muggle psychiatrist would probably be a lot better at it.

It takes one to know one? Maybe? At that time (in the late twenties) there was no means of support or diagnosis to identify a burgeoning psychopath. Not that there is all that much in place now to identify them either. They slip under our radar because most of them are intelligent and very talented mimics of social graces. The fact that Dumbledore and Cole even noticed something wrong with Riddle means that Riddle is stupid or its a convenient plot point. I would say the latter.

*Dumbledore says he intended to keep an eye on Tom, which he would have done anyway, being that Tom was alone and friendless. Either Dumbledore’s stopped keeping watch over the alone and friendless by the present day, or else "keeping watch" means "watching kids be alone and friendless without doing anything to interfere."

Since Dumbledore was way ahead of our law enforcement officials in identifying a potential threat, it indicates to me that the WW allows a big leash to all their psychopaths and those traits are allowed/encouraged.

*Mrs. Cole is an inconveniently sharp woman, meaning that she asks a question or two before turning over a pretty boy orphan to a strange man dressed like a pimp.

That was a good one! LOL

[cleverthylacine]

Even in the 1920s I'm sure they knew that it was odd and not a good sign when small children start executing animals because they're mad at other small children. Really. What I want to know is why Dumbledore never took this kid to St Mungo's. I mean, sure, the WW has a very bad conception of mental health, but isn't anyone ever suspicious that someone might be possessed?

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

It takes one to know one?

Considering Dumbledore takes especial care to note how Voldie considers himself above his contemporaries and is friendless, and that little!Tom was dominating and secretive, it sounds like Albus was perhaps a little threatened by the competition! Those are all qualities he has in spades.

those traits are allowed/encouraged.

Look at the popularity of Harry and the Twins...

[cleverthylacine]

Hey, I like ruffles.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Bad choice of word, you're right! I'm sure Lucius can carry off ruffles very well. I was thinking of Ron's sadly mouldy and wilted ruffles at the Yule ball (where I continue to champion Pansy's pink dress with ruffles!!).

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

Harry’s indignant that Snape was the one to cure Katie Bell. He probably got his Snape cooties all over her!

How could he possibly think Pomfrey could have more knowledge than Snape? Madam P is a chick. It's cool for her to know stuff about how to console the tears of the injured or blowing on a bruised knee, but the Dark Arts is serious business and needs a guy's level-headed logic.

Harry identifies Phineas as Sirius’ great great grandfather—is he Draco’s great great grandfather too?

LOL, this reminds me of the Tonks fan I saw who was mocking how inbred the Malfoys are. The Malfoys who are related by blood to the Blacks, you mean?

Note how Dumbledore's the caring sharing liberal in comparison with Phineas, who wouldn't allow a student to question the way Hogwarts is run. Dumbledore only stops the Ministry, the parents, or students whom he dislikes from having their say.

There was no trace of the Gaunts in Tom’s face.

He's reading a book, too. Probably theory. Why, Albus should have known all along!

Dumbledore also reminds Harry of Tom saying he could hurt others if he wanted to…err…so he’s a lot like our band of hero wizards then?

Tom's first interest in magic was to hurt others! Not like Harry, who was looking for a book on how to curse his family on his first trip out. That was an example of his humanity and the awfulness of the people he left behind, I'm sure.

Katie, who has been removed to St. Mungo’s.

Dumbledore's getting hourly reports, even! I'm sure he would have known Katie's name if asked prior to this. And I'm equally sure he consults regularly with the Edgecombes and the Montagues over their children's progress. Probably visited Draco in the hospital wing with candy when his arm was slashed.

Why does Dumbledore even call them lessons, anyway?

Because we're learning how to tell bad people from their blood, stupid!

Dumbledore explains that Merope couldn’t use magic because she didn’t want to be a witch anymore

She could have done magic to get herself food, apparently. Unlike the Weasleys, who must suffer nobly and silently, using their magic only to punish the wicked.

Harry thinks Dumbledore will insist on accompanying Tom to Diagon Alley and is surprised when he doesn’t.

Dumbledore lets people make their own choices. Unless their choices are to resign because they're incompetent, or to not win enough points to win their house cup, or to demand that the Gryffindor Quidditch team be disbanded until approved.

a fund I suspect was just made up this second since Ron goes through an entire year with no wand, but whatever.

Tom's greedy about it, though. (...Unlike the Weasleys?) Goddamn grabby orphans! Of course, if Tom were of true, noble stock, he'd have been left a trust fund, but since he's po' white trash, he doesn't deserve one. Enjoy being a charity case!

Harry is indignant that Merope didn’t save herself for her son. Dumbledore asks if he feels sorry for Voldemort. Haha! That’s funny Albus. Like Harry would care. He’s just judging Merope.

It's so refreshing to see how much insight these guys have into the rigours of pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood!

Dumbledore asks Harry not to judge Merope too harshly, since after all she never had his mother’s courage.

She also had a situation that couldn't be further from Lily's, except that they were both pregnant with boys at some point.
Lily was healthy, apparently fairly privileged (educated, talented, 'cheeky' and stood up to James which implies confidence, married a wealthy guy, pretty) with a family and friends and a husband; Merope was starving and underprivileged (poor, ugly, untalented, alone, with a family who just abused her physically as the most hopeful possible interpretation.)
This has got to be one of the more offensive lines in the series (probably not in the top ten, but maybe the top twenty?).
(I might add Merope had the courage to give birth to her son rather than killing herself and thus him to as soon as Riddle, left. Except that really is an unthinkable action in the Potterverse.)

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

LOL, this reminds me of the Tonks fan I saw who was mocking how inbred the Malfoys are. The Malfoys who are related by blood to the Blacks, you mean?

LOL! Exactly. It's the Blacks we're told are kind of inbred (which is a horrible thing!), so Tonks' mother is bad, but she herself has a father from someplace else. However, it's only also Draco's Mum who's a Black and the name Malfoy appears nowhere else on the family tree that we've seen, so what's the problem?

Tom's first interest in magic was to hurt others! Not like Harry, who was looking for a book on how to curse his family on his first trip out.

To be fair, Harry didn't need that interest in magic because Hagrid had already assured him that he could, indeed, hurt people with it.

Because we're learning how to tell bad people from their blood, stupid!

D'oh!

I might add Merope had the courage to give birth to her son rather than killing herself and thus him to as soon as Riddle, left. Except that really is an unthinkable action in the Potterverse.)

In the endless "Merope was a victim of Tom Riddle Sr." discussion I was in there was a lot of talk about how Merope couldn't possibly have gotten an abortion in the 1920s. As if witches wouldn't have invented a handy Potion to do that probably back in the Dark Ages.

[j-lunatic.livejournal.com]

I love that nobody ever seems upset that there’s no actual investigation into this with any updates or anything like that. An unknown assassin targeting students seems unremarkable on the rumor mill.

Whereas the student body was panicking during Chamber of Secrets (students left Petrified and waiting on a potion to revive them) and Prisoner of Azkaban (presumed bad guy in the vicinity, but not known to have recently attacked a human). Mrs. Rowling, I'd like to introduce you to Continuity. Continuity, this is J.K. Rowling. Talk among yourselves.

*Why does Dumbledore even call them lessons, anyway? Aren’t they more like…information sessions? Just drawn out interminably through use of the Pensieve?

The term you're looking for is "info dump." But I can just picture Rowling: "Must show, not tell...must show, not tell...must show, not tell...."

*One wonders why Dumbledore feels the need to also get Mrs. Cole drunk, having already addled her mind. Sadly, I think in his mind he feels like this makes it somehow less manipulative—she chose to get sloshed, she deserved it!

"It is our choices that define who we really are, Harry...and she chose to drink that gin." But...but...but the Dursleys chose not to drink that mead. I'M SO CONFUSED!

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

"It is our choices that define who we really are, Harry...and she chose to drink that gin." But...but...but the Dursleys chose not to drink that mead. I'M SO CONFUSED!

Wouldn't you love to have seen what would have happened if Mrs. Cole hadn't been a lovable alkie? Would the gin have been chasing her around the room by itself?

Info dump! That's the word I needed--thanks!

[meganinhiding.livejournal.com]

I think the reason we get this in a pensieve is that JKR wanted us to see that Tom was really, truly, sincerely bad from the beginning rather than relying on Dumbledore's word for it although that would have suffice for Harry who after his capslock phase has gone back to blindly believing Dumbles on all issues not related to Snape.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Yes and this way Dumbledore sounds nicer--wouldn't want him to just come out and say the kid was a bad seed from the start and naturally he saw it!

[teratologist.livejournal.com]

One wonders why Dumbledore feels the need to also get Mrs. Cole drunk, having already addled her mind.

Dumbledore has an odd hard-on for coercing people to drink in this book. And then someone tries to poison his mead. Instant karma's gonna getcha, Albus! (Only, thanks to the intereference of the author, it sadly doesn't.)

Mrs. Cole then wanders into that odd grey area of the HP books where some kind of sexual abuse is suggested by hinting at something dreadful happening when the two little children followed Tom into a cave, but if you bring it up the more hysterical fans would probably tell you you were sick. I admit it does add a nice little frisson to the proceedings!

What that bit reminds me of most is the section in Machens "The Great God Pan" on the childhood of Helen V. and the fate of the children who went into the woods with her. Which is pretty full of the implied kink as well.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Dumbledore has an odd hard-on for coercing people to drink in this book. And then someone tries to poison his mead. Instant karma's gonna getcha, Albus! (Only, thanks to the intereference of the author, it sadly doesn't.)

It's amazing how many problems involve this solution somehow, isn't it?

[bramble-bea.livejournal.com]

Harry's indignant that Snape was the one to cure Katie Bell. He probably got his Snape cooties all over her!

'THEN SHE SHOULD HAVE DIED!' roared Potter. 'DIED RATHER THAN BETRAY HER HOUSEMATES WHO ONLY KNOW HER NAME CAUSE SHE'S ON THE QUIDDITCH TEAM, AS THEY WOULD'VE DONE FOR HER IF IT WERE HEROIC ENOUGH TO SUIT THEIR EGOS!'

But then, even in CoS Snape isn't allowed to help depetrify the students, although he is the Potions Master.

Aren’t they more like…information sessions?

Info dumps. In all senses of the word.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Info dump is definitely the word. I feel like it was dumped on my head after these chapters.

[go-back-chief.livejournal.com]

*Dumbledore explains that Merope couldn’t use magic because she either didn’t want to be a witch anymore or her powers were sapped by despair, which can happen to witches in love. I don’t see why we need a rather disappointing subplot with Tonks to prove this, but apparently we do. The guy you’ve been enslaving for months leaves you? The guy you like doesn’t want to marry you? Poof! There go your powers. If you’re a girl.

Remarkable how that didn't happen to Ginny, her first four years in love. Or maybe that's the explanation for why she sill hasn't learned anything more than the Batbogey?

Dumbledore asks Harry not to judge Merope too harshly, since after all she never had his mother’s courage. Well, jeez, that explains it. I’m amazed she managed to put her clothes on in the morning without the all-important courage. That’s why we need Gryffindor to lead us!

"Don't judge her too harshly, because she was one of those people who are automatically inferior. You can't expect better from them, after all. And this is fact, btw, not judging."

So Dumbledore zaps the woman’s brain to make it easier. Gee, that doesn’t disturb me at all. It’s good to know wizards can do stuff like that when they want a child for themselves.

O.O Let's hope there are no pedophile wizards!

I’m sure we’re supposed to think Dumbledore’s super smart for seeing through this act, though of course a Muggle psychiatrist would probably be a lot better at it.

Heh. Because if it had been Mr Dippet, or someone else who wasn't quite as smart as DD, they would probably have thought, "oh great, he's all nice now. Proplem solved."

There’s a fund at Hogwarts for kids who need to buy robes and things, a fund I suspect was just made up this second since Ron Weasley goes through an entire year with no wand, but whatever.

Yeah, you'd think the Weasleys might benefit from that fund every once in a while, so they don't have to use moth-eaten dress-robes from a century ago (btw, how come we don't hear anything about what Fred and George are wearing at Yule Ball? Did they just not mind their moldy laze, or could Mrs Weasley afford to buy them decent clothing??), or a broken wand or whatever. But maybe you have to be an orphan to access it. ´

Either Dumbledore’s stopped keeping watch over the alone and friendless by the present day, or else "keeping watch" means "watching kids be alone and friendless without doing anything to interfere."

Hee! Or, if you think about the content in that sentence, EWW!

[j-lunatic.livejournal.com]

O.O Let's hope there are no pedophile wizards!

Well, for the first five books of this series, that (strange) man Dumbledore has been handing out candy, and then in the sixth book he's pressing alcohol on people....

[(Anonymous)]

One wonders why Dumbledore feels the need to also get Mrs. Cole drunk, having already addled her mind. Sadly, I think in his mind he feels like this makes it somehow less manipulative—she chose to get sloshed, she deserved it!

It's fascinating how Dumbledore stretches the word "choice" to assign responsibility and blame in cases where most people would see plain bad luck (Merope "chose" to die), and at the same time uses it to weasel out of personal responsibility. Like, when the Dursleys chose to mistreat Harry DD of course had to respect their free will, so he's not to blame for doing nothing about it. In fact he has the right to judge them afterwards.

Wonder if DD ever met Samuel Smiles? "Men who are resolved to find a way for themselves will always find opportunities enough; and if they do not find them, they will make them. [snip] It will generally be found that men who are constantly lamenting their ill luck are only reaping the consequences of their own neglect, mismanagement, and improvidence, or want of application." http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/s/samuel_smiles.html

Err, in fact the Muggles may have been in general more hip to Tom’s true evil nature had he stayed in that world.

There's a thought. What if Tom had fallen through the cracks and gone on living among Muggles? Without Dark magic, maybe he'd have gone the way of many Muggle sociopaths and become a successful lawyer, politician or businessman. (Now I want to read an AU about Tom Riddle, KC. "Did you assault this man? Tell the truth!")

Okay, so Tom, the budding sociopath who’s already killed animals and attacked children, demands a demonstration of Dumbledore’s magic and Dumbledore obliges by...setting afire a wardrobe? Can anyone explain what the man’s thinking here?

Best guess, it's a display of Dumbledore's unique brand of morality. He seems to routinely use Legilimency on people he meets – not a bad idea if you want a rep for omniscience -- and he's seen that Tom's been nicking things. So in order to impress on the kid that stealing is bad and wrong, he gives him a good scare by pretending to destroy all his stuff. Kinda like Snape teaching Neville the importance of brewing one's potions properly by telling him that if he screwed up, Snape will let his pet die.

-L

[violaswamp.livejournal.com]

It's fascinating how Dumbledore stretches the word "choice" to assign responsibility and blame in cases where most people would see plain bad luck (Merope "chose" to die), and at the same time uses it to weasel out of personal responsibility.

Dear God, YES. I wanted to scream at JKR when I read that line about Merope not having Lily's "courage." There are a gazillion reasons for what happened to Merope. Her personal virtue probably ranks very, very low on that list.

[saraswathi-rani.livejournal.com]

Exsanguinate. Now that is a good word. It'll be fun trying to see how many conversations I can randomly insert that word into. Thanks! :D

[static-pixie.livejournal.com]

*Dumbledore explains that Merope couldn’t use magic because she either didn’t want to be a witch anymore or her powers were sapped by despair, which can happen to witches in love. I don’t see why we need a rather disappointing subplot with Tonks to prove this, but apparently we do. The guy you’ve been enslaving for months leaves you? The guy you like doesn’t want to marry you? Poof! There go your powers. If you’re a girl.

The funny, funny thing about that is, I have actually met Tonks fans who refuse to connect her to Merope. Because there's clearly no similarity there whatsoever. (The hilarious thing is, I've actually seen that statement made seriously.)

[courtaud.livejournal.com]

The funny thing is that Tonks fans may be right.

Old Dumbledore says clearly that Merope "stopped using magic. I do not think that she wanted to be a witch any longer. Of course, it is also possible that her unrequited love and the attendant despair sapped her of her powers; that can happen. In any case, as you are about to see, Merope refused to raise her wand even to save her own life."
So he believes that's more probable that Merope willingly refused to do magic anymore and if it was so, that was a forme of suicide.
We are inclined to think that she was 'sapped' by love because we are told that that's what happened to Tonks too and because Dumbledore says here that it is a possibility. But he don't believe it's very likely.

[q-spade.livejournal.com]

As much as this chapter irks the shit out of me, it's provided two awesome DTCL threads: today's by sistermagpie, and this one (http://community.livejournal.com/deathtocapslock/7663.html#cutid1) – one of jollityfarm's finest recaps, imho. I LOVE this place! :D

All I can add to my initial comment (http://community.livejournal.com/deathtocapslock/7663.html?thread=151023#t151023) is that Dumbledore's use of the pensieve to indoctrinate Harry with regards to Tom Riddle is an excellent example of set and setting (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Set_and_setting): a concept espoused by Timothy Leary (http://www.britannica.com/psychedelic/textonly/leary.html) concerning the utilization of mind-altering drugs in a highly controlled envrionment. (There's a bit more on set and setting here (http://www.geocities.com/arno_3/2/2-4.html), for those interested.)

While I wouldn't bet cash money that Harry's been doped up all along in HPB, he's definitely in a befuddled state of mind throughout the book; I'd not be surprised if Book 7 sheds light on how and why.

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

I love the way everyone gets steadily more rageful in that other recap thread, so first it's all 'Huh, doesn't this seem rather a privileged viewpoint?' to 'WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?!1!!'
I can't even read this chapter anymore without reacting that way!

Part two, for more joy

[jollityfarm.livejournal.com]

Younger!Albus has auburn hair, so he must be pretty cool.

Cue eleventy-bazillion arguments about what colour "auburn" actually is, and some people deciding it's the precise same thing as "red" and starting a whole theory based entirely on this :)

(yes, K2K people, all my awesome theories come to fuck-all too :D)

Also he’s dressed in plum velvet and garish taste in clothing is a sign of being a good person.

I can't help getting the impression that Rowling actually can't co-ordinate colours and thinks "more bright shiny" is a sign of attractiveness in outfits. Not that she tends to look rancid in her own clothes, but she does seem to continually give scary outfits to her very best. Perhaps it's to demonstrate that wearing tasteful gear is a sign that you have no soul. Trinny and Susannah need to go through these books ;)

A magic quill that still manages to create a pretty homogeneous student body and a serving class with funny accents.

Oh come now! They have people of other races, and, and evil people and...all sorts of different types! Muggleborns! How could they get more diversive???

Sadly, I think in his mind he feels like this makes it somehow less manipulative—she chose to get sloshed, she deserved it!

All's fair in love and war, etc. It's okay to be a little underhand if you're doing something for the good of society, ie, to give a clearly psychopathic boy all the resources he needs to start his own cult of personality...wait, what?

some kind of sexual abuse is suggested by hinting at something dreadful happening when the two little children followed Tom into a cave, but if you bring it up the more hysterical fans would probably tell you you were sick.

Although not so sick as you would be to ponder on what happened to Professor Umbridge in the Forbidden Forest, since she was evil and whatever it was was done to her by good people, and therefore can't have been all that bad (and even if it was, she deserved it). Tom Riddle, being evil, is a prime candidate for OMG RAPIST, so some people might well stick up for you there.

There was no trace of the Gaunts in Tom’s face.

This is probably because Harry didn't take care to note Merope's eye colour. I would be prepared to bet a small amount of Monopoly money that he's got his mother's eyes ("Gomez, take those out of his mouth")

Err, in fact the Muggles may have been in general more hip to Tom’s true evil nature had he stayed in that world.

He probably would have killed and eaten a few people, been sentenced to death and either died of hanging, or set fire to the rope with his latent powers :/

Can anyone explain what the man’s thinking here? A simple levitation spell wouldn’t do, he’s got to tempt him with arson?

"I can out-scary you, you little shit, so don't try any funny business with me in the room, hear? Short sharp shock, that's what these little scallies need. Bring back National Service, that's what I say..." Sorry, I think Dumbledore just channelled the Daily Mail letters page there :P

Luckily I’m sure tormenting other students was considered all in good fun even then

Although hurting animals, or even being rude to them, is a sign of clear evil. If they're nice animals, anyway. Or not conveniently shaped like balls. Or not belonging to someone we dislike.

Either Dumbledore’s stopped keeping watch over the alone and friendless by the present day, or else "keeping watch" means "watching kids be alone and friendless without doing anything to interfere."

"I watched the saucepan. I watched it boil. I watched it boil right over!"

Re: Part two, for more joy

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

Perhaps it's to demonstrate that wearing tasteful gear is a sign that you have no soul.

It makes you vain and self-obsessed. (Whereas being naturally beautiful just means your inner soul is shining through!)
Only silly girls, blah blah insert sexism care about clothes.
And of course, guys who wear colours that match *horrors!* are slightly effeminate cowards. A real man is endearingly bad at that sort of thing, and will eventually end up being dressed by his wife.

(yes, K2K people, all my awesome theories come to fuck-all too :D)

I love K2K. They spent so long obsessing over the plots to all 7 books while Rowling's probably twiddling her thumbs and staring into thin air.

Tom Riddle, being evil, is a prime candidate for OMG RAPIST, so some people might well stick up for you there.

I'm reminded of the post on the fic cliches comm about how people need to stop portraying the Gryffindors as potential rapists, because obviously they'd never ever do such a thing! Only people wearing black hats and twirling moustaches green ties are innately capable of that. (Actually, McLaggen and Romilda are probably closer to the grey than, say, Draco and Pansy, but whatever.)

[sunnyskywalker]

Hi, lurker here, if that's ok.

Voldemort has a weird statement in the graveyard in GoF that I'm wondering about now. "I see you all, whole and healthy, with your powers intact -- such prompt appearances! -- and I ask myself ... why did this band of wizards never come to the aid of their master, to whom they swore eternal loyalty?" Now, what does he mean by that? Why wouldn't the Death Eaters' powers be intact? Did Voldemort think that they would be so depressed by his disappearance that they wouldn't be able to use magic anymore? And how lame does that make him? "None of you had enough obsessive love for me, wah! I should have given you love potions!"

[anehan]

Does that mean Voldemort's own powers aren't intact? Then what was that about Trelawney prophecying that he'd rise more powerful than ever? Also, what about the Azkaban escapees? Is this whole 'losing powers' thing implying that they too have lost their powers? (Somehow I think that, say, 12 years in Azkaban would be much worse than not spending one year with one's Twu Wuw. But what do I know.)

[courtaud.livejournal.com]

*Harry identifies Phineas as Sirius’ great great grandfather—is he Draco’s great great grandfather too? I mention this because I’ll bet when/if this information comes up Harry will be completely shocked by it.
Phineas is Narcissa'sa Great Great Grandfather, Draco is one generation farther. Maybe it will make it less of shock. Phineas is also younger than Dumbledore, which was a shock for me.

*Dumbledore says he’ll take appropriate measures to investigate who murdered Katie. Not that anyone will hold it against him if they never turn up anything.
Well, he did. He did not say that he would act on information.

*Why does Dumbledore even call them lessons, anyway? Aren’t they more like…information sessions? Just drawn out interminably through use of the Pensieve?
From a literary point of view those are info dumps, but inside the narrative those are brainwashing sessions.
Every single one is hammering in Harry's skull that Tom is bad from the womb, that nothing could be done to change it, and that he can be killed without any trouble for the killer's conscience. He is 'no longer human', after all, but he was very little human from the beginning.
I'd like to strip from those scenes everything that's just Dumbledore's interpretation and look at what's left. Almost nothing, I suspect.
("My first thought was, he lied in every word, that hoary cripple...")

*Dumbledore explains that Merope couldn’t use magic because she either didn’t want to be a witch anymore or her powers were sapped by despair, which can happen to witches in love.
Choosing to never more use magic while one is starving requires a pretty strong willpower. Of course Albus immediately gives another interpretation much more unfavorable to Merope.

*Dumbledore asks Harry not to judge Merope too harshly, since after all she never had his mother’s courage.
At this point I actually wrote on the book the local version of "go fuck yourself sideways, Albus".

*So Dumbledore zaps the woman’s brain to make it easier. Gee, that doesn’t disturb me at all. It’s good to know wizards can do stuff like that when they want a child for themselves.
They are willing to do so for much more less than a child.

*Mrs. Cole tells how one night Merope Gaunt showed up, gave birth, and died an hour later.
Which clearly shows that she was willing to desert her baby for lack of courage.

*Mrs. Cole also explains that Tom’s showing signs of being a sociopath—luckily again he won’t stand out at Hogwarts.
The first time we see Harry do magic, he throws two kids in a giant serpent's cage.

*Tom looks fevered. Awww, he’s like little Draco the Nutter.
He was locked in a room waiting for a doctor from the asylum to examine him. I don't think it was 'his' room: there must have been dormitories for all those orphans.

Also, Dumbledore gave this troubled kid money and sent him alone in a new and unknow place. What was he thinking? (I suspect it's connected with the fact that Tom got the Amazing Twin Wand, whose core came directly from Dumbledore)

[q-spade.livejournal.com]

...inside the narrative those are brainwashing sessions.

Every single one is hammering in Harry's skull that Tom is bad from the womb, that nothing could be done to change it, and that he can be killed without any trouble for the killer's conscience. He is 'no longer human', after all, but he was very little human from the beginning.

Excellent points, and I agree completely. Dumbles isn't teaching Harry, he's filling Harry's head with propaganda. This becomes even more obvious in Chapter 20 when we see memories of Riddle as an adult, and his confrontation with Dumbledore.

[lalyari.livejournal.com]

Dumbledore says he'll take appropriate measures to investigate who murdered Katie. Not that anyone will hold it against him if they never turn up anything.

But really, who cares about students? The school was crawling with monsters and murderers for years, and if children cannot handle them on their own, they're not fit to live.

So Dumbledore zaps the woman's brain to make it easier.

I wonder if this is standard procedure for dealing with stupid muggle parents/guardians who want their children go to Eton or something.

Either Dumbledore's stopped keeping watch over the alone and friendless by the present day, or else "keeping watch" means "watching kids be alone and friendless without doing anything to interfere."

But they're so fun to watch! Especially when they're driven to the last ditch. Dumbledore would watch them sink and never interfere, because their angsting is sooo cute >.< [makes me think of the kid sitting over an ant hill]

Dumbledore mentions Parseltongue is an ability associated with the Dark Arts, but as "we" know it also exists amongst the great and good. Oh my god, does he mean Harry?

Not Salazar Slytherin, one of the Hogwarts founders, for sure. Stinkin' git.

Tom Riddle also has a magpie-like tendency, so he can't be all bad. Magpie-like is a lot better than serial-killer like.

Aww, Tommy loves to collect shiny things - ones like Lucius (but he discards them when they offend him, like proper toddler). People just mistook his toy collection for an extremist group.

[merrymelody.livejournal.com]

The school was crawling with monsters and murderers for years, and if children cannot handle them on their own, they're not fit to live.

Well. If they're attacking purebloods or people we dislike, then they're just being natural animals/monsters and we shouldn't restrict their instincts for fear of cruelty. Animals should never be put down, that's, like, murder! They should be free to live and prosper and breed and threaten to eat people.
If they're going for Muggleborns, of course, then it's time to step in and send them to the big reptile house in the sky.

I wonder if this is standard procedure for dealing with stupid muggle parents/guardians who want their children go to Eton or something.

'My son Justin? I don't know what you mean, I don't have any children!'

[biting-moopie.livejournal.com]

You know, I love this series despite all the criticisms I have, but the only time I ever was genuinely furious was when Dumbledore said that Merope died because she didn't have the courage to live. Fuck you, man. Fuck you right in the ear. I couldn't believe my eyes when I read that. Yeah, that's the reason she died. It couldn't be from a lifetime of neglect and abuse, and that a pregnancy is a drain on the body and mind and can be life-threatening, and that she was penniless and homeless and needed help and had reached the end of her resources.

Lily was happily married (we assume) with a roof over her head and enough to eat, she had money and support and came from a loving family. How, in any way, are these two cases comparable? I really, really hope that JKR doesn't think this and it's just another example of Dumbledore assuming he knows everything about a situation/person when he actually has very little empathy or compassion. Seriously, WTF Dumbledore? What the hell would you know about having babies?

Sorry about the rant.

This is a wonderful post, as always. Very astute and funny! I'm especially fond of this line:

Mrs. Cole is an inconveniently sharp woman, meaning that she asks a question or two before turning over a pretty boy orphan to a strange man dressed like a pimp.

Many sporfles were had. Thank you for these summaries!

[static-pixie.livejournal.com]

THAT IS THE GREATEST ICON EVER CAN I STEAL AND PIMP FAR AND WIDE?

[flyingskull.livejournal.com]

Mrs. Cole tells how one night Merope Gaunt showed up, gave birth, and died an hour later. Then she had to clear off quick because there was a long line of other destitute Victorian women waiting to give birth to orphans to star in their own nineteenth century novels.

Hearts immensely. Yeah, shadows of Oliver Twist, aren't they? Complete with gin-drenched matron. Pity not all orphans born of weak and reprehensible mothers who didn't have the decency to live enough to LURVE their babies have Oliver's (and Harry's) inexplicable heart of gold. Poor Tom (ooooh, channeling Will!)had no chance from the word go, din't he? *cuddles Tom*

Also it's rather odd that JKR used the name for orphans and misjudged literary characters for her supa-villain.

Tom somehow knows that being a Parseltongue is the strangest power he has. I guess the knowledge is carried in his blood.

Prolly a snake told him. *G*

Now sorry but I have a lil rant here. Snakes have NO ears, NO auditory organs whatsoever! Snakes have different sensors that work for them just fine, but NO EARS!!! How the hell can they hear parseltongue?

WTF

, Author? Can't be arsed to open an elementary book on ophids?

Well, they perceive vibrations, so... is parseltongue the ability to jump up and down and/or make violent movement with the arms in such a manner as to communicate with snakes? And would it work on a beach or in muddy ground? [/rant]

On a lighter note, fans have a propension for making it sounds like Gollumspeak, but wouldn't it sound more like: "Ssssssszzzzzsssss TSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS ssszzss sss"?

Sorry, I know, Magic explains all (magia vincit omnia) and pwns reality liek whoah, but that always irritated me no end because Nagini is a magical snake and has breasts so why not ears, but the snake in the zoo was a Muggle snake...

Ah, well, it's all plot-driven after all.

[candrawest.livejournal.com]

Sorry, I know, Magic explains all (magia vincit omnia) and pwns reality liek whoah, but that always irritated me no end because Nagini is a magical snake and has breasts so why not ears, but the snake in the zoo was a Muggle snake...

Actually, I had always assumed a more metaphorical meaning of 'milk' concerning Nagini. Isn't the process of gathering snake venom to be used in making antivenins sometimes called milking the snakes? I certainly thought it was, and from that point of view, I assumed Moldy Voldie was somehow extracting nutrition from Nagini's venom. An explanation I still prefer, as breasts on Nagini... just ugh.